CATEGORY: Daniel/Janet UST Humour POV
SUMMARY: This could be the start of a wonderful new friendship. Told from the eyes of an excitable companion.
DISCLAIMER: If they come from Stargate, then they're not mine. The story, and all other bits and pieces in it, are sole property of the Tigermoth Cartouche.
NOTES: Send me feedback, or I will hunt you down and pull it out through your nose. - Lots of love, Tigermoth xox


Click click click click.

My ears perk up at the sound of a key turning in the lock. Someone's at the door! I bound out of my chair with a flying leap and make a run for the door. The knob turns, I hear the rustle of plastic shopping bags and the tinkle of keys hanging from the chain. Who is it? Who is it! Oh the suspense is killing me!

The door swings open to reveal....Janet! Hi, hi! How're you doin'? I missed you today! Where have you been? Huh? Huh?
I reach up to plant sloppy wet kisses on her familiar face.
"Ugh. Yes, I love you too. Get off." She says, pushing me off and gathering the bags from outside the door. I follow her eagerly into the kitchen where she sets the bags on the floor. I poke my nose into the closest bag, carefully checking for any dangerous substances.

Hmm...bag one contains...a can, a can, another can and yes! More cans! Life doesn't get any more exciting than that. On to the next bag. Now, here we have...some meat wrapped in paper. Ah, a fine delicacy. What else is in the bag? Coffee, bread...and kibble! Oh I love you Janet! Thankyou so much. Oooh! And you bought my favourite too! Chicken ahhh, heaven.

Gasp...but wait...what is this? I inspect the object more closely. Rubber, cloth, shoe - like. ARGH! NO! SLIPPERS! I grab them by the jaws before they can get me, and race with them into the living room.
"Hey! Put those back!" Janet exclaims as I begin my attack on the slippers from hell. Don't worry Janet, I've got it all under control. These slippers won't be able to hurt anyone now.

I rip into the offensive articles with all my might. Slippers may appear innocent at a glance, but at the exact moment when your back is turned, they turn into terrors of the night. In all my years of humble experience, I have never come across an organism quite as terrifying as a pair of common household slippers.

Janet watches in horror as I apply the finishing blows to the evil fiends. I leave them by the fireplace to die and go to sit at Janet's feet in an effort to put her mind at ease. Hey Janet, it's ok. They can't hurt you now. I've saved the day again! Aren't I just the best?

Janet ignores my words and walks tentatively toward the now well and truly dead pair of slippers. She picks one up gingerly by the tail. "Damnit." She says angrily, shooting a fiery glare in my direction.
Whaaaaaat? I didn't do anything wrong!
I try to save your life and what do I get? Thanks? No! Not even a pat on the head!

What is this world coming to?


Well, it's been two hours now since I saved her life and I think that she may have forgiven me. I'm starved! Maybe she'll be in a nice enough mood to feed me now. I pad cautiously into the study where she is sitting on that confounded wheelie-chair. Damn I hate that thing. It and me are old enemies. It tries to run me over every time I enter the room.

I cross the floor to Janet and reach up to her chair, resting my chin on her thigh in an effort to gain her attention. Janet? I ask, looking up at her with what I hope is my most adorable expression.
Janet is talking to the phone. I don't know why she doe it...It's about as useful as trying to get deep with a fire hydrant. The damned things never talk back. She pauses for a moment to listen to the phone whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I fail to see the attraction in playing 'listen to the inanimate object', but obviously it gives her great joy...who am I to complain?

"Okay. So you want me to pack your red shirt, jeans, underpants and a towel right?...And your sleeping bag. Okay. Why didn't you do this before you went to the party?"

She pauses to listen to the phone again.

"Alright Cassandra, got it. I'll bring your bag over to...Laura's was it? Yep, Laura's 153....Somerset...Crescent..."

She scribbles the address on a piece of paper.

"Okay honey, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Love you too Cass. Bye."

No sooner than she places down the receiver, the confounded machine rings again. She picks it up and holds it to her ear. I groan inwardly. At this rate I wont get fed until way into next week!


I'm beginning to lose hope of getting my dinner anytime soon, and my charming looks don't seem to be terribly appealing this evening. I get down from the chair and sprawl out on the carpet. If I'm going to starve to death tonight, I may as well to it in style. I eavesdrop on Janet's conversation to pass the time.

"Woah, woah, Daniel. Take a breath." Confused amusement crosses her face, leaving furrows in her brow and a tiny smile on her lips. "You found what exactly?"
She pauses to listen to the silent murmur of the receiver, transfixed by its hypnotic words. "I don't quite understand what you're on about Daniel." She says, "Maybe you should come over and show me it now if you really think it can't wait until Monday."

She listens to the phone and smiles. "Okay. Sure, bring coffee though okay. Using up my time on a Friday night doesn't happen for free you know." She laughs at the comeback from the receiver. "Yeah Daniel, you just keep telling yourself that. Just remember, I'm the doctor, you're the accident." There is another pause. "Alright, be here in fifteen minutes. See you soon. Bye!"

She puts down the receiver with a sigh, running her hand through her shoulder-length hair. I look up at her again, pleading her to give me my food. "What do you want huh?" She says, slinging a displeased look in my general direction. She gets up out of her chair and heads out of the study, I follow eagerly at her heels. Hurry Janet, to the kitchen! I must be fed! Any longer and I can go in the running for the Starvin' Marvin Awards for the year 2001!

She finally makes it to the kitchen after what feels like an eternity on my growling stomach. Out come my bowl, and the bag of kibble. My mouth waters eagerly. Oh heaven, here I come!
Janet hesitates, one hand placed firmly on her hip. "I don't see why you should be fed tonight," she says, looking sternly into my eyes. I cower away, Oh, if looks could kill...

"This is the third pair of my shoes that you've ruined in as many days! You are a very, very bad boy."

I give her my best 'please forgive me' look.

"And don't you dare give me that look either, or I won't feed you anything at all."

Ooh! Attitude! Fine, play it your way. I scarf down the food as soon as the bowl is on the floor, doing my best to spill as much kibble as I can without starving myself in the process.

Stupid humans...such moody creatures...what is a dog to do?



Ooh! The doorbell - quick! I bound to my feet and rush over to investigate with Janet in tow. Come on Janet, open the door!

Janet shoves me to the side with her stockinged foot. Gee thanks, it's so nice to see that I'm so highly appreciated around here. A man wearing circles of glass over his eyes stands at the door with his arms full of papers and a foil-covered bag between his teeth.

"Daniel! Please, come in." Janet greets, stepping aside so that he may enter. She gives an exasperated sigh as he struggles with the papers and the bag in his teeth. "You silly man. Here, let me take that." She pries the bag from his mouth and points him towards the living room. "Put you papers down in there, make yourself comfortable. I'll get our coffee ready ok?"

Daniel smiles and looks sheepish, "Okay, thanks Janet. Nice house you have here by the way. Very..." He looks at the mess, and decides not to comment. I follow him into the living room where he plants himself down on the two-seater sofa, spreading the papers out on the table in front of him.

Hi Daniel. I greet, placing my paws on his knees and reaching up to lick his face. He lets out a strangled cry, and tries valiantly to push me off. Okay, okay, I get the message. I jump up onto the couch with him, and snuffle at his jumper. He ruffles me behind the ears tentatively. "Hi dog. Yes, that's right. Snuffle at Daniel."
I compare his odour to the list in my inventory. Dusty, but clean.... similar scent to that of Cassie's friend Dominic, only much more bearable.

Janet returns with two mugs of coffee in the middle of my inspection and hands a cup to Daniel. She places he mug down on the table and shoos me from the couch. "Sorry about him, Daniel. Cassie's dog. After the one Jack gave to us died, she pleaded for another until I caved. His name is Beans. Mischievous little piece of work."
Hey hey hey! What? Me? Mischievous? Never! What a load of turkey and bollocks!
Daniel grins at Janet and wipes his nose with a handkerchief. "That's okay. I just didn't expect him to be so...boisterous."

They both laugh, and Janet takes a seat in the place next to Daniel from which I had been forcefully evicted. "So," she says, taking a sip of her drink, "What was so important that it couldn't wait for me?"
It feels like hours have passed since Daniel arrived. I've been sitting here in the corner un-noticed for an eternity. This will certainly not do! At the moment, Daniel has Janet engrossed in a wad of papers filled with pages and pages of writing

. The pair have been going like motormouths nonstop, ever since they sat down.
Janet watches Daniel with bright eyes, drinking in every word he says as if it were the Exclir of Life. "I think that this herb could help cure the disease that we accidentally introduced on '399." He says. Janet nods, and looks at the words in front of her. "It could do." She glances at the question in his eyes, "But yes, I'd need to study it further before I make a medical opinion about it. Perhaps we should wait until Monday to clear a mission with the General back to the planet you found this plant on."

Daniel nods, seeing the logic in her words. "Yeah, I guess you're right Janet." He sighs and places the wad of paper down on the table. "It just makes me feel so guilty knowing that the natives of that planet are dying because of us. I guess I just want to rectify the situation as soon as possible you know?"
Janet smiles, easing his distress. "And make everything better again. Am I right?" She says, taking her hand in his. Ooh, I'm jealous. The electricity just went up a notch in the room. Hey Daniel, watch your step. Janet's my owner I'll have you know!

Daniel nods slowly, agreeing with her gentle words, however reluctantly. Janet pats the top of his hand where it rests snugly in hers. "Don't worry Danny." He looks up at her, as if he's never heard that expression from her before, but lets her continue. "We'll find them a cure. You have a good heart, okay. You would never let an innocent being come to harm. Trust me on that, alright?"

Daniel smiles, and withdraws his hand from hers. He gathers the papers together from the table and forms them into a neat pile. He turns his eyes back on her. "I trust you Janet. Thanks for being such a great friend."
Janet reaches out and puts an arm around his shoulders, hugging him to her side before releasing him. "Hey, any time Daniel. It's great to have you as a friend." She gets up to take their now empty coffee mugs back to the kitchen. Daniel watches her go. As soon as she is safely out of sight, he puts his head in his hands and lets out a deep sigh.

I get up and pad over to him, resting my chin on the couch beside him. What's up Daniel? I ask, man, your mood is depressing me!
He removes his head from his hands and gives me a grin, scratching me behind the ears. That's the spirit! Nice big smiles for everyone. Beans is your best friend ever yet! You can't go wrong with me!

I stick out my tongue and pant contentedly, eliciting a burst of laugher from the man beside me. Yes, yes, aren't I cute? Wouldn't you love to have a friend like me? That's right, ahhhh, right there, that's the spot. I turn my head into his palm. This guy is a great scratcher. Maybe I can persuade Janet to bring him over more often. He'd be a wonderful asset to the team.

Janet returned to the living room fifteen minutes ago. She asked Daniel to stay a little longer and watch a movie with her. After all, she'd said, he'd taken up this much of her night with work already, they might as well spend some time together hanging out as friends.

Well anyways, now they are both sitting on the couch watching a movie on the television. I've decided to watch it too. I don't have much pressing business to attend to, so I might as well sit back and enjoy myself.
Janet took a blanket from the cupboard and snuggled underneath it, lifting up a corner to invite Daniel to share in the warmth. But did she offer a corner to me? No. I bite back my indignation and settle down on the floor in front of them. Janet decided to use me as a footrest. Oh gee, thanks. I'm honoured.


About fifty minutes into the movie, the short-haired FBI lady is getting the beejeezers stung out of her by a damned bumblebee.

"Argh. Damnit!" Daniel exclaims, slapping his hand jokingly on his knee. "That damn bee. Always ruins everything."

I turn to see Janet look up at Daniel from where her head is resting in the crook of his neck. An amused smile lights up her face. The FBI man calls an ambulance. "Hey well, I guess they can't have their cake and eat it too." She murmurs, and turns her attention back to the flickering screen.

Daniel grins, and leans back into the couch. He draws the blanket around their chins a little tighter, and hugs Janet to his side.

"I never thought I'd get to do this." He says.

"Do what?"

He waves his hand vaguely in the air. "This. Sitting here. Watching a movie with a good friend."

I hear her snort next to him. "Don't you watch movies with Jack and Sam and Teal'c?" She asks. Janet withdraws her feet from where they had been resting on my back and curls them underneath the blanket on the couch.

I feel the couch shift as Daniel adjusts to her new position. "Well yeah, I do. But I don't get to snuggle up with them while I do it."

This evokes a burst of laughter and a punch in the arm. The couch jostles as Daniel throws his hands up in surrender. "Hey, hey, no need to ruin the moment by getting violent!" He exclaims. "Oomph!"

Yikes! Incoming throw cushion! I duck to the side and dart for the armchair in the corner, my attention is drawn from the movie and to the minor skirmish unfolding on the couch.

Janet is looming over Daniel as he cowers on the sofa. With arms outstretched, she holds a throw-cushion over her head, poised to strike at any given moment. Daniel makes a lunge for the cushion, dragging her down by the wrists onto the sofa. They are both doubling over with laughter. This is very odd behaviour indeed, I have only seen it displayed between Cassandra and her friend Dominic during the silly season.

Daniel has now pinned Janet against the back of the sofa, and is proceeding to tickle her to within one inch of her life. Janet manages to turn the tables on him somehow. With one swift turn, it is now Daniel who is pinned and laughing defiance.

"Surrender!" Orders Janet, the grins on both their faces threaten to take over the world. Daniel laughs breathlessly as she assaults his body with another bout of tickling. "Never!" He says, as he squirms to get away, and at the same time, to give as good as he gets.

Janet orders him to surrender yet again. At last he complies. Phew! I was beginning to get anxious there. Both people are flushed and breathless. Janet appears to notice the way in which she is straddled over his legs and moves off him, bending to pick the blanket up off the floor.

Daniel gets up from the couch with an uneasy laugh and smiles tentatively at her. The movie about the FBI agents has long since ended, and the credits now scroll serenely up the screen. Daniel picks up the pile of papers from the table and takes Janet's hand in his.

"I guess I had better be off now." He says, with a smile in his eyes. "Thanks again for tonight. It was...fun."
Janet smiles and nods, and gives his hand a tight squeeze. "Yeah. I'm always willing to help Daniel."
She turns and walks with him to the front door. I don't get up to follow, but I hear their conversation from the living room.

"Hey Daniel," I hear Janet say. I listen to the scuff of Daniel's shoes as he turns. "Yeah?" The door creaks as Janet leans against it.

"You can come and snuggle up for a movie with me anytime." There is a smile in Janet's voice, but also, what could be described as a sliver of hope.

I hear Daniel laugh gently and then say "Careful Janet, I might just have to take you up on that offer one day. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Daniel."

I yawn tiredly and close my eyes, grinning to myself as I slowly fall asleep. Yes...perhaps we'll be seeing more of Daniel in the near future. A dog could use a good scratcher like him.

And so, perhaps, could Janet.

The End.

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