Title: The Daniel Dilemma
by: tigermoth26
feedback: nvc425@h...
Rating: PG
Category: humour
Pairing: daniel/janet (kinda!)
Spoilers: Tok'ra, Meridian,
Archive: DJA, helio, fanfiction.net, TTC
Summary: oh, what to do when daniel is no longer living?
Series: The memo conspiracy
Disclaimer: not mine. would you like fries with that?

Notes: this is a little side track from the usual memo
conspiracy ep guide. think of this as...background
information :) enjoy, send feedback. or i wont give you
your fries.

btw, im just giving you this bit until i think of the other
bits. (makes sense to me...)


1105 h
Monday 08 April 2002

In a top secret location, at a facility so elusive that
even the Boss Person had to ask for directions to the front
gate, whirred the workings of Earth's most high priority
operation ever yet. Operation Memo Conspiracy.

Unfortunately, now that we've told you that, we'll have to
kill you.

Lucky for you though, we've run out of pink slips. So
you'll have to wait until tomorrow.


The headquarters of the Defence Shipper Agency had been
buzzing with activity for twelve hours straight. Special
Agents swarmed the bullpens in seas of tailored black,
black and black. Somewhere in the maelstrom a voice called
out. "Coffee machine's empty!"

Somewhere else, a tall blonde woman snuck hastily away with
two steaming mugs full of life-giving black sludge.


Office 18
Floor 12

"You bloody legend"

Special Agent Marian Shoe reached out a sluggish hand
towards the mug of coffee her partner Agent McLeod had
deposited upon the desk. The task would have been made
much easier if the aforementioned agent wasn't trying to
burrow her head into the table in the process.

McLeod watched in cultured disdain as Shoe eventually
grasped hold of the handle and brought the mug to her lips,
downing it in one probably scaldingly hot gulp.


Annie sipped thoughtfully as Shoe leapt up out of her chair
and flew around the room. This was a rather sad ritual
that she had found herself becoming tragically used to
after seven years of working with the crazy Australian.

"Fer cripe's sake Shoe, sit doon." Grumbled Annie as the
other agent started on another circuit of the small dingy
room. Marian screeched to a halt and snapped promptly back
to reality. She flipped a lock of dark hair back over her
shoulder and straightened her jacket, before returning to
the table and sitting down.

"So Annie." She started professionally, "What exciting
tasks has the Boss put together for us today?"

McLeod leant over and snapped open the locks of her DSA
Standard Issue Special Agent Briefcase(tm) and pulled out a
file folder which had been cunningly stamped with the
words: "Top Secret. Eyes Only. Not for Unauthorized
Personnel or Wayward Camels."

"I see they've finally upped the ante on those bleedin'
camels." Murmured Marian as she accepted the file.

McLeod nodded, the last time the Anti Romantics Alliance
Agency (ARAA) had attacked, no one had even suspected that
they would dress up as camels. So when the DSA had taken
the evil Agency up on charges, they had claimed that the
files said nothing about Camels not reading them so
therefore what they had done had been completely within
Agency Law - and therefore it was standard procedure.

On level twenty-two, an overgrown chicken was rifling
through the files.


Five minutes later, the two DSA agents had managed to read
their way through the file. Side-by-side upon the table
rested two monochrome photos, each bearing the smiling
faces of Major Samantha Carter and Doctor Janet Fraiser,
USAF collectively.

Agent McLeod held in her hand, an A-4 sheet of white paper,
with two columns of black printing covering one side of the

Marian leaned back in her super-fun-swivelly chair. "Right.
So here we have a couple of eligible bachelorettes." She
rested her ankles upon the rim of the desk, then motioned
at the paper with her nose. "And there we have...?"

McLeod scanned the page. "Eligible bachelors of the

"I see. So we have to find them both the perfect match?"

Marian's carefully shaped eyebrows furrowed together at the
other woman's affirmative nod. "But what about..."

"O'Neill and Jackson?"

"Yeah. I thought they had already been chosen!"

McLeod shrugged and slapped another two photo's down onto
the table. Doctor Daniel Jackson (PhD, SGC) smiled up from
one of them. Someone had come through and placed a big red
stamp right over the middle of his forehead. The wording
of the stamp, in plain red letters spelled out the word.

Marian's jaw dropped to the floor. "Say what?!?!"