While it is true that Saint Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland, and while it is true that he is talked of as the greatest Saint in the hole* history of Ireland, there is another Saint who is talked of and who did more, if not less, for the blessed land of Eire, than drive out snakes. For yes, St. Patrick freed us all from tiptoeing about trying not to get our toes knoshed on by vipers, but t'was another Saint who made sure our bellies were filled and our minds were a'drift in Guinness. Yes, lads and lasses, let us now talk openly, for it is time the world came to know the truth, of Saint Simon The Wonderful. Now Saint Simon The Wonderful was not always a Saint, nor once he became a Saint was he always The Wonderful. No, like most men, he went through many transformations in his time before he settled firmly on a career of Sainthood and once there he experimented mightily before settling on being The Wonderful. Click on the Sacred Turnip to see images of the various manifestations of Saint Simon The Wonderful from his earlier years of pre-Sainthood, in his years of Sainthood pre-The Wonderful and that last earthly transformation at his death.
~~Simon the Wonderful stood on the Mount and holding the Sacred Turnip of Peace aloft, boldly proclaimed " See thou this wretched turnip, least loved of all the veggies? Yet in being so not loved doth it not still serve ye well, in your hour of need. Be thee then like this turnip if ye would have worth to fellow man. For this turnip, though vile to the palate, yet grows and in growing, plans on provision, and at life's end it is seen that it has done fine work and so it's growing does no harm and all it's life has been given to the greater good of humanity .. for though you love not the turnip well, it has done ye no harm but only good."~~
It should be noted here that Simon The Wonderful's love for the turnip probably has much to do with why the Celtaic Brassicaen Alter Worship of Fine Vegetation did not long flourish.
*to be explained later
In Search of Simon The Wonderful
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