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| "Till Death" |
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Methos: Oooom...
Duncan: You know, you could do that up on deck; the view's better.
Methos: Calms the spirit; you should try it some time.
Duncan: What are you doing here?
Methos: Place I rent's being sold. I hate moving.
Duncan: Then go move into a hotel.
Methos: I wouldn't stay at any hotel that Adam Pierson could afford.
Duncan: Well, it's your problem if you're seen here. (Duncan looks through his mail.)
Methos: Anything interesting?
Duncan: I'll let you know. Oh, Gina and Robert de Valicourt are getting married again.
Methos: I thought they were married?
Duncan: Well, they do it again every hundred years.
Methos: Madly in love, huh?
Duncan: Nah, gluttons for punishment.
Methos: I was married once, you know. Well, come to think of it, I was married sixty-seven, no, sixty-eight times.
Duncan: You had sixty-eight wives?!
Methos: Yeah. Never one of us though. That'd be too much of a commitment for me to make. You'd have to love someone a hell of a lot to be with them for three hundred years. Tough to imagine, huh?
Duncan: No, it's not. Not if you knew Gina. Fitzcairn and I were both madly in love with her. |
| * * * |
Methos: *It's finally happened. You've lost your mind.* (td1.aif - 75K) (Duncan pours Methos tea.)
Duncan: Well, come on Methos, you'd be doing them an incredible favor.
Methos: Read my lips: N-O.
Duncan: Okay, you'd be doing me a favor. Milk?
Methos: *Oh, no, that's not fair; you're making it personal now.* (td2.aif - 103K) You think that I'll feel guilty when I say no?
Duncan: Sugar?
Methos: You're wasting your time. I haven't felt guilt since the eleventh century. I don't even know these people. |
|
Duncan: Yeah, well, that's why I'm asking you. All you have to do is act a little.
Methos: Do I look like an actor?
Duncan: Oh, you've been with the Watchers for years and no one's ever suspected you. Don't you want to see Gina and Robert live happily ever after?
Methos: Yeah, but I want to see me live happily ever after even more.
Duncan: Oh, come on Methos. They won't even know who you are. You'll just be this mysterious immortal who's coming after Robert's head. Robert and Gina's marriage is in your hands.
Methos: You're not listening to me. I don't give a damn about their marriage.
Duncan: Well, I do.
Methos: Is it really that important to you?
Duncan: Yes, it's that important to me.
Methos: Okay, I do this for you, and you give me the barge.
Duncan: Right, like you're serious.
Methos: Yeah, I'm serious. Hey, I need a place to live. That's the deal; take it or leave it.
Duncan: Fine, if that's what it takes.
Methos: That's what it takes.
Duncan: Fine.
Methos: Good.
Duncan: Good.
Methos: Right.
Duncan: You'd better make it look good.
Methos: Like you say, darling, I'm an actor.
Duncan: Oh, good. |
| * * * |
Robert: Blackbeard, Bluebeard, Drake, I must've sailed with half the pirates of the Caribbean. I kind of miss those old ships.
Methos: Not me, I hate the sea.
Robert: Oh? Why's that?
Methos: Crossed the Atlantic to Iceland with a bunch of Irish monks, seven-sixty-five. Six of us in a row boat, no facilities. (They feel another Immortal's presence.)
Methos/Robert: Showtime. (They begin fighting.)
Gina: Robert! Leave him alone, you bastard!
Duncan: Gina, Gina, you can't interfere. Gina! Gina, wait!
Methos: It goes hip, feint, hip, thrust, jump back.
Robert: Yes, got it, sorry.
Gina: He could lose his head!
Duncan: Gina, no. If he does, it'll be the last thing that guy sees.
Robert: That should do it. Just give me a jab. Not too deep.
Methos: Wuss, where's your sense of drama? (Methos runs Robert through.)
Gina: Robert!
Duncan: No, Gina, no! (Duncan holds Gina back.)
Gina: Robert!
Duncan: Gina, no!
Methos: Sorry.
Gina: Robert!
Duncan: No, Gina, Gina! (Duncan lets go of Gina.)
Gina: You're dead! Bastard, you're dead!
Robert: Gina!
Gina: Oh, my God, Robert. Robert, are you all right? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Robert.
Methos: (Methos whispers something unintelligable.)
Duncan: Get out of here.
Methos: What the hell was that all about?
Duncan: Go.
Methos: You were supposed to keep her away. She's gonna kill me now! |
| * * * |
Methos: I knew it. I knew it! Getting between a married couple, it's a rule I haven't broken for two thousand years. I knew this would happen.
Duncan: Look, she'll cool off. I'm just telling you to be careful, that's all.
Methos: Great, so I lose my head after five thousand years so that you can play marriage guidance councilor. I must have been out of my mind!
Duncan: Oh, Methos, come on. The marriage is in two days time. All you have to do is lay low for a while; they'll go off on their honey moon; they'll be there for...ten years! She'll forget all about this!
Methos: Stake your life on that, would you?
Duncan: Yeah...
Methos: Okay, give me the keys.
Duncan: What keys?
Methos: The keys to the barge.
Duncan: You weren't serious. You were testing me.
Methos: No? If I'm gonna die, you're gonna pay me for it. Give me the keys. |
Duncan: I can't give you the barge! I just redecorated it.
Methos: Nice job. Give me the keys. *Come on.* (td3.aif - 25K)
Duncan: With friends like you, who needs enemies.
Methos: I was just thinking the same thing! (Duncan goes to sit down.) Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey, off.
Duncan: What? It's my chair.
Methos: *My chair now!* (td4.aif - 76K) (Methos sits in the chair and puts his feet on the desk.) *You know where the door is.* (td5.aif - 76K) (Duncan takes some papers from the desk and leaves.) *Have a nice day!* (td6.aif - 60K) |
|
| * * * |
Methos: Opera, opera, opera, opera, lot of opera here. Gotta do something about this music, there's no Springsteen, there's no Queen...
Gina: You!
Methos: I can explain. It was a joke.
Gina: I'm not laughing. Where's MacLeod? Dead?
Methos: No-no-no, he's fine. This has all just been a big mistake.
Gina: Huge. And you made it when you tried to kill my husband.
Methos: I knew this would happen. |
| * * * |
Robert: Oh, my God, this is a mess. Will he hurt her?
Duncan: Will she go for his head?
Robert: Yes, she would.
Duncan: This is a mess.
Robert: Gina! what happened?
Gina: It's over. The son of a bitch is dead.
Duncan: You took his head?!
Gina: He tried for Robert. He tried to kill the man I love. No one does that and lives.
Duncan: No!
Gina: Sorry about the mess.
Duncan: No! No-no-no! It was all an act, tell her! (They feel another Immortal's presence, and Methos appears.) Not funny! |
Methos: *Oh, I don't know, pretty funny from here.* (td7.aif - 114K)
Duncan: Oh, really. I think I should take your head instead, how 'bout that, would you like that...
Gina: What's the matter, Duncan? Can't you take a joke?
Duncan: Fitz would have found it funny.
Gina: So? Are you going to give me away? |
 |
Duncan: No.
Gina: Aw, please, Duncan, please?
Duncan: All right. Here take her. Go on, for God's sake. |
| * * * |
Methos: Look at this place. I've never seen such a mess. These sheets are disgusting! (Duncan throws packing straw on the floor.) Hey, enough with the mess! I have to live here.
Duncan: Oh, I'm sorry. (Duncan holds up a vase.) My wedding present to them. Only one of six left in the world.
Methos: You know, when I was living in China way back when, those things were a dime a dozen. If only I'd known then what I know now.
Duncan: Pity. So what are you gonna get them? A toaster?
Methos: Well, you know, you were right. They are a unique couple, so I figured I should give them something unique.
Duncan: Yeah? Like what?
Methos: My boat.
Duncan: The barge?! You can't give them the barge!
Methos: Why not?
Duncan: Because-
Methos: It's my boat. I'll do what I like with it.
Duncan: Fine.
Methos: But then I figured that probably everyone would give them something unique, so, uh, I went with a toaster. (Methos throws the keys to Duncan and he drops the vase.) You keep the barge. I hate the water. Get the mess cleaned up. |
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