*~*

We Gotta Get Out of this Place

Goddard: Can you turn us around?

Thelma: (nods, and physically turns Goddard around)

Goddard: No, I mean, can you turn the ship around?

Thelma: Oh, I would need much bigger arms.

*~*

Goddard: Where are we?

Thelma: We're on the floor, sir.

*~*

Who Goes Where

Goddard: Radu's dependable. He's level-headed.

(Radu comes out of jump tubes and screams at the sight of them)

*~*

Radu: I've got to do something!

(runs smack into closed door)

Bova: Interesting choice.

*~*

Goddard: Tell us what happened, from the beginning.

Thelma: First, the universe was void and without form. Then, there was a big bang.

Davenport: This might take a while.

*~*

Thelma: And the last thing I remember is... the floor coming at me very quickly!

*~*

Thelma: Forcing open the inner air lock door while the outer door is open is a safety hazard. Please, don't do it again.

*~*

A Day in the Life

Ferna Herna lines:

Who ever heard of invited intruders? If they were invited, they wouldn't be intruders, they'd be invitees and we'd be having them down for drinks and cheezy-bits, not blowing them up!

*~*

BM: Even if they contact us now, apologizing profusely, they haven't got a prayer.

MH: Look! It's them! They're contacting us and apologizing profusely!

Both: Ew....

*~*

Show Regular Lines:

Harlan: We're trapped in space! It's like seven years of detention! What else can she do to us?

Rosie & Radu: You ... don't want to know.

*~*

Bova: I'll be in charge of mess!

Davenport: You mean food.

Bova: That too.

*~*

Harlan (to journal): I try hard not to constantly be the first one to give the answer in class...

*~*

Catalina (to Suzee): It's a good thing you're here, or I'd have gone nuts.

*~*

Goddard: Radu, raise the shields!

Radu: How do I do that?

Goddard: I don't know!

*~*

Davenport: Why is he telling us to stay here?

Bova: Maybe he thinks some of us will panic and be a distraction.

*~*

Goddard: Thelma, you've got to have priorities.

Thelma: All right. When shall I schedule them?

*~*

Thelma (referring to the Ferna Herna): My, what polite killers.

*~*

Spung At Heart

Elmira: Harlanband doesn't hate you, Radu. He's afraid of you.

Radu: Afraid?

Elmira: Yes. Every time he looks at you, he's afraid that everything he knows is wrong. And so are you, every time you look at me.

*~*

Forever Young

Don't have any for this episode. If you have some that you enjoy, PLEASE send them to me!!

*~*

Nowhere Man

Harlan: I've been thinking about trying to be nice to you. I've got no idea why.

Radu: Because the commander told you to?

Harlan: OK, one idea why.

*~*

Harlan: I broke the ship!

*~*

Thelma: I have been trying to deal with it. [a problem with the ship]

Goddard: How?

Thelma: By ignoring it and hoping the problem will go away.

Goddard: Find another way, please.

*~*

(Radu bangs his head after a jump tube mishap)

Radu (to Thelma): I'm fine, Commander Goddard. My, what a lovely hat.

*~*

Goddard: Are you saying Harlan's invisible?

Cat: Bet he doesn't make fun of Suzee now.

*~*

Radu: I could have broken my neck!

Thelma: Broken your neck? Without a toilet seat?

*~*I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but isn't it funny??*~*

*~*

Desperately Seeking Suzee

Goddard: You can aim that thing, can't you Mr. Bova?

Bova: Let's find out together.

*~*

Goddard: Command Post, not Compost. Space hates smart alecks.

*~*

Goddard: Thelma! The engines!

Thelma (who is leaning against the control console): I'm on them!

*~*

Bova: We won't fry. The comet will smash us to bits first.

*~*

Goddard: Thelma, can you give me a hand?

(Thelma removes her hand and tosses it to him).

*~*

Thelma: Would anyone like a beverage? With lots of ice?

Cat: (referring to the ship's situation): I don't understand!

Thelma: When water freezes....

*~*

Radu: There's meteors in the way.

Goddard: Try to miss the big ones.

Goddard: Do you know what that means?

Radu: No, but if you hum a few bars, I can screw it in a lightbulb.

*~*LoL, what does is this one even referring to? Obviously, Radu is an alien who doesn't understand human humor and I love how he's trying, but what is he talking about??*~*

*~*

It's My Birthday, Too (Yeah!)

Bova: I was practicing faking it.

*~*

Harlan: Like my dad, in the Stardogs, fighting And-and-and-and exploring. (Walter's delivery REALLY makes this line work -- it's VERY clear that he's about to say Andromedans, and yet he never does).

*~*

Thelma: It is so inconvenient when machines are confusing and less than helpful.

*~*

Cat: Harlan...

Harlan: I know, I know.

Cat: You have got to lay off of him!

Harlan: I know, I know.

Cat: Well, what are you going to do about it?

Harlan: I don't know!

*~*

Harlan (softly): Sorry.

Radu: I heard that.

Harlan: I knew you would.

*~*

Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Court

Harlan: When there's trouble, people turn and say, "Harlan Band-- Cat: --stop making trouble.

*~*My absolute favorite line in the entire series!!*~*

*~*

Harlan: Mr. Radu, did you know that when you enter a room, the hair on the back of my neck stands up?

Radu: Yeah. I hear it.

*~*

Harlan: Hey! How can he be a witness AND on the jury?

Bova: We believe in recycling.

*~*

Davenport: I'm itching!

Goddard: That's not usually the kind of problem that requires a command decision, but OK: Scratch it!

*~*

Goddard: I want you to get a dictionary...

Davenport: A dictionary. Uh... all right.

Goddard: Then look up the word 'paranoid' and see if your picture is next to it.

Davenport: Commander, you're NOT funny!

Goddard: I hear that a lot.

*~*

Harlan: Judge Bova, I want to be a witness.

Bova: Go ahead. It's not like WE know what we're doing!

*~*

Cat (in Harlan's imagination): Suzee! Help! Tell me what to do! Tell me what to think! Tell me what to wear! I didn't bring any ionic storm outfits!

*~*

Davenport (upon learning she is turning into a Spung): The commander! We must tell the commander!

[Goddard enters room as a partial Spung]

Thelma: He... already knows.

*~*

Bova: Is it possible that I could turn into a dish of tapioca pudding?

Thelma: Yes, it is possible!

Catalina: Thelma, you think anything is possible, don't you?

Thelma: Almost! It is an exciting cosmos, isn't it?

*~*

The Impossible Dram

*~*Excellent show! One of the best*~*

Goddard: You'll "smite" me?

Harlan: Smite? Or he smite not!

*~*

Thelma: The Christa is an excellent judge of character.

Davenport: (smugly) And how do you know that?

Thelma: It let you in.

*~*

Cat: Bova! How could you have hurt him?

Bova: I should have just let him stab me. What was I thinking? [Rahi does an amazing job with the sarcasm here]

*~*

[after Radu suggests entering Dram's ship to retrieve a data crystal]

Thelma: Entering it could be extremely hazardous. I wonder who should go after it.

[Radu and Davenport look at Thelma]

Thelma: I wonder why I asked.

*~*

Goddard: Well, let's check out this data crystal, shall we?

Thelma: Excellent idea, Pierre! The corn muffins look scrumptious today.

Goddard: After we fix Thelma.

*~*

Catalina: He deserves to live his dream, not dream his life.

*~*Amazing line!*~*

Thelma: Not a problem, Radu. I have been effecting additional repairs on myself, and am now operating at peak efficiency.

Radu: It's good to see you're OK, Thelma.

Thelma: Not a problem, Radu. I have been effecting additional repairs on myself, and am now operating at [stutter] peak efficiency.

*~*

Dram: Dream of glory, Mirabella. Dream of life. And dare to fight for both. If you believe in nothing else, I say believe in that.

*~*

Break on Through to the Other Side

Davenport: Bova What are you doing here?

Bova: Scaring you, I guess.

*~*

Davenport: You are a growing boy, and it's important to get sufficient sleep.

Bova: Don't worry, Ms. Davenport. I can always sleep in class.

*~*

Goddard: Are you positive there's no secret room?

Thelma: Yes, I am positive, I think.

*~*

Thelma: None of my memory banks have deleted information in the past 39 hours. A new record!

*~*

Radu: Why can't we hear her?

Goddard (gleefully): I muted her.

*~*

Harlan: The Commander's been working on a plan. Right commander?

Goddard: Uh... yeah.

Davenport: Thank heavens! When will I be released from this... cybernetic prison? When will I be normal again, commander?

Goddard: Well, that's hard to say, Ms. Davenport. There's a little problem with the plan right now.

Davenport: And what is that?

Goddard: I have no idea how to do it.

*~*

Harlan: What do I do?

Cat: Knowing you? Take credit for it.

[later] Harlan: I've found the secret room! ... OK! Catalina and Radu found the secret room.

*~*

Prisoner of Luff

Davenport: Just think about all of those frighteningly dangerous criminals

Bova: They're locked up. Usually, its the ones that are free you have to worry about.

*~*

Cat: I wonder what they did to get locked up forever.

Bova: Probably broke the law

*~*

Sofiana: Don't move or I'll scramble your entire neural net. Now take me to your leader. [long pause] Why aren't we going anywhere?

Thelma: Because to take you to the command post, I would have to move, and you asked me not to.

*~*

On the Road to Find Out

Shank: Oh, good. More friends to chat with.

*~*

Shank: Spung do not question Andromedans. Spung enslave Andromedans. Besides, Earthers are easier to interrogate.

*~*

Rosie: We're not afraid of you. We laugh at threats of torture. Don't we, Ms. Davenport?

Davenport: (laughs weakly): That's not really the point, dear.

*~*

Bova: 20,000 volts? Baby food!

*~*

Shank: I'm warning you...

Davenport: No! I am warning you! Now you have two choices either zap me with that cattle prod, or get out of my way.

Shank: Very well. If those are my only two choices... (powers up weapon)

Davenport: Did I say two? I meant a few. Hundred, perhaps.

*~*

Goddard: We have to be brave. She would have wanted that.

Harlan: What she would have wanted is to live. What she would have wanted is for me to stop picking on her, to be nice to her, to know how much ... how much I liked her.

*~*

New Places, New Faces

*~*Aah!! I don't have any!*~*

*~*

The Sporting Kind

Rosie: Why are you being so mean to us?

Amirge: New planet. New friends. I've got a little time to kill.

*~*

Radu: Harlan's right.

Harlan: My two favorite words.

*~*

Amirge: The annoying one is gone!

Tongo: No sir, I'm still here.

Amirge: Not you, Tongo, the red-faced annoying one.

*~*

Rosie & Suzee: "Ew!"

*~*

*~*Part Two*~*