“I don’t get it, Bova,” Harlan told him as Bova fumbled with the buttons on his dress uniform. “Why are you nervous?”
“Why?!” Bova cried in a shrill voice. “Why? Why am I nervous? Because! The sooner we get married the sooner we’ll learn horrible things about each other, end up hating each other and get divorced! I don’t want any of that to happen!”
“Why not?” Radu asked.
Bova turned on him incredulously. “Why not?! Because I love her!”
“Then keep saying it,” Radu told him.
“Keep saying what?”
“That you love her,” Harlan said, catching on. “Whenever you get nervous just keep repeating that. You’ll be fine.”
“I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her,” Bova chanted, messing with the buttons on his jacket again. He looked down at it and suddenly cried, “Why are there five loose buttons?!”
“Calm down!” Seth snapped. He stepped forward and fixed Bova’s jacket. “Bova, you need to do yourself a favor and not think about anything pessimistic for a while, all right?”
“He’s right,” Radu added. “Think about spending the rest of your life with the woman you love.”
Bova scoffed darkly. “Yeah, the rest of my life… or until we die and on the Christa there is a very real possibility that that will be very, very soon.”
Seth rolled his eyes. “Okay, then think about having kids. There’s nothing more amazing than having your own children.”
Bova faced him with a confused look on his face. “Speaking of which, where’s Seamus?”
“That is beside the point, Bova,” Seth chided him. “Besides, he’s… uh… he’s…” Seth’s eyes widened and he shot out the door.
Harlan put an arm around Bova’s shoulder as the Uranusian stared into the mirror, slightly trembling. “Bova, focus on the moment, okay? It’s Rosie. You never want to be apart from her anyway, this will just give you a reason to stay with her, okay?”
“Yeah, until she gets sick of me and we get divorced!” Bova cried, shrugging off Harlan’s arm.
“Bova!” Radu snapped, getting his attention. “Okay, how about this? If you hurt my best friend in any way, shape, or form I will rip off both of your arms and beat you senseless with them. All right?”
Bova stared, becoming pale and slowly nodded. Harlan leaned in towards Radu. “What’d you do that for? We’re supposed to be calming him down!”
Radu shrugged sheepishly. “Well, he’s not worried about the wedding now. Besides, when it comes to Bova, I’ve figured out that he’s calmer when he has something big to worry about. I just gave him something else to think about.”
Harlan glanced at the frozen Uranusian. “Well, he’s not shaking anymore…” He gave Radu a sidelong look. “Would you really beat him with his own arms?”
“Of course not,” Radu whispered back. He paused. “I’d just dismember him.” He led Bova out of the room, leaving Harlan to stare after him, wondering if he had been joking.
“This is so great! I’m so excited!”
The other women laughed at Rosie as she twirled around in Cat’s wedding dress, which had been altered to fit her own form. She spun around in front of the mirror again, grinning. “Oh, I wonder how Bova’s doing!”
“Probably the exact opposite of you,” Suzee informed her. "As usual."
Rosie laughed. “Probably! I don’t know why, though. I mean, nothing will change.”
Cat, TJ, and Lokaia exchanged a glance. “Well… some things will change,” TJ said hesitantly.
Suzee made a face at them. “Ew. Okay? Ew.”
“You’d be much less annoying if you were married,” Cat told her. “But I’d never wish that on anyone so nice.”
Suzee raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Yeah,” Cat said with a sigh. “I really like Cheiron.”
“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Suzee informed her sarcastically.
“I know.”
Lokaia straightened out Rosie’s train and smiled at the Mercurian. “Rosie, you look beautiful.” The other women nodded and Rosie beamed. At the start of their journey on the Christa, Rosie had been a petite fourteen. Now, at eighteen, Rosie had grown tall, slim and had a figure.
The Mercurian grinned brightly. “Thanks!”
“Ready, Rosie?” Suzee asked.
“Of course!”
The women laughed again and followed her out the door.
Bova gulped nervously as Rosie came to stand in front of him, grinning brightly. She looks amazing… she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen… we’re going to get divorced in a year… No! No! Think of something else… Radu… ripping my arms off… beating me with my own arms… That would kind of hurt. He gulped again and attempted to smile at Rosie.
In front of them, Thelma’s head jerked to one side and sparked slightly. “Thelma, are you all right?” Seth muttered to her.
Thelma turned and smiled. “Magician Hubert, I believe the griffins are out terrorizing the town again.”
“I knew this would happen,” Bova sighed.
“Thelma, why don’t you start the ceremony?” Radu suggested.
She turned to him with a bigger smile. “Sir Lancelet, what an excellent idea! I’ve always thought the table should be square, not round!” She cleared her throat and looked at Bova and Rosie. “We are gathered here today,” she began importantly, “to hogtie this poor idiot,” she gestured to Bova, “to this conniving wench,” gesture to Rosie.
Rosie giggled and Bova looked at Thelma strangely, not that she noticed. The android continued on with the ceremony. “Do you, Bova, take this pink, hairless, Mercurian to be your ball and chain to have and to hold, to squeeze till she pops, in health and sickness, for the few measly years you hang on before you croak, until you become rotting zombies, and until death do you part?”
Bova gulped and mumbled, “Well, I mean, there are positive and negative aspects here…”
Harlan bumped him with an elbow. “Stick to format, Bova.”
“Y-yeah, I guess so,” Bova finally squeaked out.
Thelma beamed and turned to Rosie. “And do you, you radish-like creature, take this pessimistic freak--”
“I do!” Rosie said with a smile.
Thelma nodded and turned to Radu and Lokaia. “The manacles?” she asked seriously.
Rosie giggled again as Lokaia and Radu handed the rings to the couple. Bova gulped and fumbled putting the ring onto Rosie’s finger. He got the wrong finger, but she corrected him gently and put a ring on his own finger.
The android smiled brightly at the two of them. “By the authority vested in me as the King of Thieves, I now pronounce you freak and radish. You may goose the tide.” She jerked and a spark shot from her head. “Miss the gride.” Spark. “Kiss the bride.”
Rosie threw back her veil and kissed Bova soundly. After a moment Bova unfroze and kissed her back, barely registering the laughter and cheers of his friends.