CATEGORY:  Voyager  J/C, bit of P/T

RATING:  NC-17

DISCLAIMER:  Star Trek: Voyager and everything contained therein is the property of Paramount and Viacom.  I own nothing.  I just borrow them when Paramount isn't looking and let them actually express emotions.  So, shoot me.

AUTHOR: LadyChakotay

SUMMARY:  An evening in an alien tavern allows Kathryn and Chakotay to explore a different side to their relationship.  I realize that Kathryn would probably NEVER behave as she does in this story, but that's what fanfic is for, right?




Chakotay-


I was looking for her.


I guess I've always looked for her.


It was a nice place, amazingly similar to the old style taverns on Earth.  It wasn't exactly crowded, but it was far from empty.  The crowd was just the right size to create a cozy ambiance.   The band on the stage played an up beat tune; familiar though I'd never heard it before.  It was just loud enough to catch my attention, but not so earsplitting that I couldn't tune it out if I wanted to.  Very nice.  I liked it immediately.  Leave it to Paris to find a bar on an alien world the felt almost like home.


"So, what'd ya think, Chakotay?" Paris asked, clapping a hand on my shoulder.


"Not bad, Paris.  Not bad at all." I answered distractedly.  My eyes were skimming the room, searching for a glimpse of her shining, reddish hair.   I tried to act casual about it.   I tried, and I failed. 


"Relax, old man." B'Elanna chided gently.  "She's here.  She promised she'd be here."


"I know." I replied defensively.  "I just don't like the idea of her being in here alone.  We don't know anything about these people.  Someone should've beamed down with her."


Paris shook his head.  "I suggested that.  She said, and I quote, 'Mr. Paris, I fought off the Borg, the Kazon, and even the Hirogen.  I think I'm perfectly capable of beaming down to a bar for a drink without an armed security detail.'  I mean, she's the captain.  Who am I to argue with her?"  He chuckled aloud, obviously replaying the scenario in his head.


I could picture her in my mind saying that to him. An amused grin washed over my face at the image.  Her hands on her hips, one eyebrow raised, and probably flashing Paris that crooked grin that had become her trademark.  She had a special kind of relationship with Tom.  One that, though I hated to admit it, I often felt envious of.  She would let her guard down with him.  They shared a special bond, perhaps because they were both Starfleet brats.  Growing up with an admiral for a father must've been tough, and they seemed to understand each other.


We began to move toward the back of the room and I finally spotted her.  I stopped dead in my tracks, and I'm sure my jaw hit the floor.  Gods, I must've looked like an idiot! 


She was sitting at a table in the far corner, laughing and talking with three alien men who appeared to be hanging on her every word.  Just like I always did.  She was oblivious to our presence so I took the moment to observe her.  She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life.


Kathryn Janeway sat in the chair facing my direction, her back to the wall.  She was wearing a dress I'm quite certain I had never seen on her   I'm positive I'd never seen it, because I would've remembered it.  Hell, I'll remember it for the rest of my life.  It was a brilliant cobalt blue, just like her eyes.  It was a halter-top dress that fastened in the back of her elegant neck.  It had a tantalizing V-shaped neckline, low enough cut to reveal a glimpse of her delicate collarbone and ample cleavage, but it left just enough modesty to fuel the fires of my imagination.  Her small shoulders were bare, revealing the light spattering of freckles that I had first seen on New Earth when I saw her wrapped only in a bath towel.  I found them endearing and charming.


The skirt was shorter than those she normally wore.  In fact, I couldn't recall a time when I'd seen her in a skirt that short.  But, believe me, it was worth the wait.  The hemline rested on her mid-thighs, about three inches above her knees providing an enticing view of her shapely, well-toned legs.  They were crossed seductively, clad only in nylon stockings, slightly shiny but just a little understated.  My eyes traveled from her thigh, over her knee, and down her slender calf.  On her diminutive feet, she wore high-heeled pumps the same radiant shade of blue as her dress.  The spiked heels must've been at least four or five inches high.  I found it sensual beyond description.


As I stared at her unabashed, I realized that her shoulder length hair was different somehow.  The bizarre lighting in the room caught the fiery red tones, bringing them out to dance through her hair like burning flames.  She wore it down, but in a more turbulent style than she normally wore.  Silky wisps of hair fell seductively around her face.  How I longed to reach out and touch it, to twist it between my fingers.  Gods!  She looked incredible.


"Well, big guy!"  Paris's voice snapped me out of my daze.  "Are we going to join her sometime tonight, or just stand and watch her from here?"

I shot him a sharp look, but my expression softened as I saw the admiration flashing in his eyes.  He obviously appreciated the sight of her almost as much as I did.  He flashed me a cheeky grin and smacked me on the back.  "I guess I forgot to warn you about the dress.  The captain looks very, well… stimulating in that shade of blue, wouldn't you say, Commander?" Tom teased, licking his lips and leering at Kathryn like a starving man would look at a juicy filet mignon.


The remark and the drooling earned him a stabbing elbow to the ribs from his beloved Klingon.  "Alright, fly boy!  Put your tongue back in your mouth before I rip your heart out through your nose!"


Paris wrapped a protective arm around his freshly assaulted ribs, and snaked the other around B'Elanna's trim waist, pulling her close to him.  "Oh come on, B'Elanna.  You know I only have eyes for you." he grinned.


Torres eyed her sandy-haired pilot with barley disguised affection.  "You're a pig, Paris."


"That's why you love me."


I laughed at their sparring.  "One thing's for certain, an evening with you two will be anything but boring." I joked.  They were my valued friends, and I was looking forward to spending a night off the ship in their company.  But mostly, I was looking forward to being with Kathryn.  Tom and B'Elanna followed me as I made my way to her table.






Kathryn-


I hate to admit it, but the truth is… I was nervous.


It had been months since I had taken shore leave, and I desperately needed a respite.  When B'Elanna first suggested that I accompany Tom and her to this "so much like Earth" tavern, I was more than a little reluctant.  But then she told me that Chakotay had agreed to join us, and my resolve quickly faded.  I tried to act unaffected by this piece of information.  I tried, and I failed.


"Oh, come on, Captain." she coaxed.  "I saw that!  You're eyes lit up like a supernova when I said Chakotay would be there.  You know you want to come."


I thought about trying to deny it, but knowing Torres as I do, I realized it would only reaffirm her assumptions.  So, with a slight shake of my head and an amused grin, I conceded.  "Fine, B'Elanna, you win.  I'll join you for a night out.  After all, the doctor all but ordered me off the ship, and it does sound like fun."


It's funny, but I must've spent two hours choosing an outfit, and I changed at least three or four times.  That's unlike me.  I've never been one to quibble over fashion.  But judging from the reactions I got from the crew members that I passed on my way to the transporter room, and from the climbing altitude of Tuvok's eyebrow as I sauntered by him, I would have to say I chose the right one.


I actually laughed out loud as I passed Harry Kim and Tom Paris in the corridor.  Poor Harry only managed to stammer a barely coherent "WOW!" before the shock registered on his innocent face, and his lower jaw crashed to the deck.  And as for Paris, Mr. Suave in the flesh?  Let's just say his usual aloof persona was on vacation as his mouth flopped open and his eyes grew wide enough to fly a shuttle through.  He dropped the stack of PADDs he'd been carrying, and they sent him sprawling in an undignified heap to the deck.


"I'm glad it meets your approval, gentlemen." I purred as I slinked past them.  I knew I was enjoying it a bit too much, but a woman my age needs a little reminder that she still has it now and then.    It's flattering beyond description to know that I can still turn the heads of handsome men young enough to be my… well, let's just say young.


"Damn!  She looks hot!"  I heard Paris say as I rounded the corner.  A cocky smile spread across my face.  Yes, I definitely chose the right outfit.


I had told Tom and B'Elanna that I was beaming down ahead of them because I wanted a little time to myself.  But the truth is, I was terribly nervous.  I wanted to have a couple of drinks and loosen up before facing Chakotay.  I had no idea why I was so neurotic about it.  After all, I worked side by side with the man every day.  We were close friends and spent a lot of off duty time together.  But this was different.  Or maybe I was different. 


I wasn't running this time.  I wanted to spend the evening in his company, reveling in his gentle smile, and drinking in those chocolate eyes that had been my undoing since the first time I laid eyes on him.  I wanted to forget I was the captain, and just be a woman, if only for a few hours.  But to do that, I was going to need some liquid courage.


I entered the tavern slowly, not without a bit of trepidation.  I made my way to the bar and ordered a brightly colored, fruity drink that tasted suspiciously like a mia tia.  It was refreshingly cool and tickled my taste buds as it splashed over my tongue and slid gracefully down my throat.  Just what I needed.


I moved to an empty table in the far corner of the room.  It allowed me to keep an eye on the door without being overtly conspicuous.    I was only sitting there for about thirty seconds before a tall, fair skinned alien man asked if he could join me.  Ever the diplomat, I gestured to the chair across from me.  "Please…"


The alcohol I was rapidly ingesting must've been having an affect on me, because I found everything this man said to be extremely funny.  I laughed until my head was spinning.  Soon, his two equally pale friends came over to join us.  They regaled me with stories of their journeys through space, and I found each of those excitedly comical as well. 


I must say, they had also done an admirable job of keeping my glass full.  I had no idea how many I'd had, but I was certainly feeling relaxed.


"Forgive me if I appear rude, Captain." said the purple-eyed alien whose name I couldn't remember.


"Please…" I snorted, waving a dismissive hand at him, "call me Kathryn."  I had absolutely no idea why I said that.


"Yes, of course… Kathryn." He amended.  "I've noticed you keep glancing at the door.  Are you waiting for someone?"


I hadn't realized I was that obvious.  "Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm expecting three of my friends.  They're meeting me here.  I'm sure they'd love to meet you nice gentlemen." I said.  Well, actually… I slurred.


Something made me look up, instinct perhaps, and I saw him.  Chakotay was walking toward me, Tom and B'Elanna at his heels.  Now, I admit that I was feeling a buzz from the alcohol, and I had my 'beer goggles' on.  I mean, even the unnaturally pale aliens sitting at my table were looking good.  But Chakotay - he was nothing short of gorgeous.


The first thing I noticed was the tan colored pants he wore.  They were a striking contrast to the usual black uniform slacks.  They were form fitting, tight in all the right places.  They hugged his muscular thighs and narrow hips, showing off his chiseled form to perfection.  Delicious.


His shirt was a lightweight cotton material with a burgundy and tan pattern across the front.  The wine color in the design brought out the red in his full lips, and I ached to run my fingertips across them.  The cotton fabric looked soft and inviting and I found myself longing to run my hands over it, to feel the taut muscles underneath.  It clung to his broad chest in all the places it should.  The short sleeves allowed me an enticing view of his bronze biceps.  I've always thought Chakotay had very sexy arms.  Strong, well developed muscles with just the right amount of soft black hair peppering his bronze skin, leading down to his large, masculine hands.  I've always been captivated by his hands, so big and powerful, and yet they touched me with all the tenderness in the universe.  I closed my eyes for a split second and envisioned his robust fingers gliding across my skin.  I shivered at the thought.


His rich brown eyes sparkled in the reflected light.  Chakotay's were the most expressive eyes I had ever seen.  In our years together on Voyager, I had read so many differing emotions in them when he looked at me.  I had seen admiration, respect, anger, pain, and even hatred once or twice.  But I had also seen affection and unconditional love.  I drew strength from it, living off of the life force it radiated.  That look in his eyes had gotten me through some of my most difficult times in the Delta Quadrant.  There was no denying that he was an amazing man.

And I had to admit to myself, he grew more enticing each day.    Chakotay exuded sexuality.  He was the most sensual being I had ever known.  Perhaps someday, I would tell him so.


I smiled up at him as he approached my table.  I pulled out the chair next to me, offering the seat to him.  I'd have stood and wrapped my arms around him, if I thought I could've done it without falling over.  He flashed a grin in my direction, dimples and all, as he slid into the chair by my side.  I breathed deeply, inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne.  The fragrance was earthy and rugged, just like Chakotay.  I relaxed into my chair, allowing his nearness to wash over me.  I knew instinctively that this would be a night worth remembering.





And so it began…



It was the perfect atmosphere for relaxation.  He thought it was nice to be off the ship and away from the crew, well most of the crew anyway.  Chakotay sipped his beer and watched Tom and B'Elanna out of the corner of his eye.  Tom was speaking softly in her ear as her hand caressed his cheek.  He had to admit to himself that he was amazed at the changes he'd seen in B'Elanna since she and Tom became a couple.  She was such an angry soul when they first met in the Maquis, and there were times when he wondered if she were capable of such tenderness.  Obviously, she was.  He was truly happy for both of them.


"Penny for your thoughts." said Kathryn softly, placing her hand on his arm.  He looked so far away, a gentle smile playing on his full lips.  She would give just about anything for a glimpse at what went on inside that dark head of his.


He turned to look at her.  Her warp core blue eyes sparkled with curiosity like an excited child.  He couldn't suppress the chuckle that made its way up his throat.  "I was just thinking about how happy they look." he said, nodding toward Tom and B'Elanna.  "It's nice to know that life in the Delta Quadrant has brought peace to some of us." 


He may have been looking at the couple across the table, but he was thinking about more than just the two of them.  Even though his relationship with Kathryn was far less intimate than he would like it to be, their close friendship was a comfort to him.  Her mere presence brought him the only peace he'd ever known.


The three pale alien men tried to act blasé about the fact that Kathryn forgot they existed the minute Chakotay arrived.  They rose and made some remark about enjoying her company, which she didn't hear at all, and then made a quick exit.  She noticed neither their departure, nor B'Elanna's snicker at her as she gawked at her first officer.


"Look at them, Tom." B'Elanna whispered to her lover.  "God, it's so obvious they want to tear each other's clothes off.  What the hell are they waiting for?"


"Shhh!" Tom hissed.  "If the captain thinks we can see that, she'll ice over in a nanosecond!"


B'Elanna only laughed condescendingly at him.  "I think you better take a closer look, flyboy!  She's not exactly in command form tonight."


"What'd you mean?" Tom said, ready to defend his captain's honor.  No one was allowed to mock the captain but him.


"She's drunk, Tom!  That isn't synthehol she's drinking."


He surveyed Kathryn, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.  He ran through a mental checklist.  Let's see… eyes partially glazed over, cheeks flushed a charming shade of crimson, slouched posture… she was definitely not her usual authoritative self.  At that particular moment, she was leaning over onto Chakotay; her head dropped back, her mouth open as laughter rang from her throat.  And Chakotay wasn't even a funny guy.  Yep, she was drunk all right.  He wondered why he hadn't noticed before. 


Captain Kathryn Janeway… drunk.  Now that's something you don't see everyday.  Tom thought to himself.  It was a rare treat to see her relax, and perhaps even humiliate herself a little.  She was always so proper.  And though he had a deep respect and affection for her, he simply couldn't resist the opportunity to assist in her embarrassment.  It was his nature after all.


He walked around the table and stood directly in front of her, ignoring B'Elanna's questioning glare.  "Captain, may I have this dance?"


"Excuse me?" she deadpanned.


Tom didn't realize it was a slow tune until after he'd already blurted out the offer.  No wonder she was looking at him like he had grown a third eye.  Oh well, too late to back out now.  "I said… may I have this dance?"


Oh what the hell.  Kathryn thought to herself.  This'll probably be my only night out for God knows how long.  Might as well enjoy myself! 


She smiled flirtatiously at him.  "It would be my pleasure, Mr. Paris." she slurred, rising to her feet.  It was the first time she had attempted to stand since she drank who knows how many glasses of whatever that was she was drinking.   Her brain commanded her body to rise.  Unfortunately, her muscles decided to disagree.  Her equilibrium was apparently taking the evening off.  Her head began to spin ever so slightly and she lost her balance.  She tumbled and landed unceremoniously right on Chakotay's lap.  He grabbed her by the arms protectively, stopping her descent before she tumbled to the ground.


B'Elanna's jaw hit the floor.  She silently cursed herself for not bringing a holoimager.  No one would ever believe this without proof.


"Excuse me, Commander." Kathryn giggled uncharacteristically.  "I guess I lost my balance."  She held tightly to his neck, making no effort to get off his lap.


Chakotay stared at her in complete stupefaction.  He had longed to hold her like this more times than he could recall, but this wasn't quite how he'd imagined it.  And he didn't think he'd ever heard Captain Janeway giggle!  But, he wasn't about to argue.  She could sit on his lap for as long as she wanted to.  He took a chance and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her a little closer to him.  The scent of her soft perfume filled his nose, vanilla he thought.  He chuckled aloud.  She had obviously been indulging in the real alcohol for a while before he arrived. 


"What?" she demanded.  "Why are you laughing?"


"Kathryn, you're drunk." he said softly.


A look of utter shock crossed her face as indignity rose up within her.  "I am not!" she snapped.


"Yes, you are." he laughed.


"Oh, lighten up, Chakotay.  I'm just trying to get into the spirit of things." She said, struggling out of his arms and staggering to her feet.  She slapped at his hands as he tried to assist her.  "Don't caudle me, Commander." she slurred, grabbing Tom's arm for support.  "I can take care of myself."


"Yes, Ma'am." Chakotay teased, smiling broadly at her.    She was beautiful when she was defending herself, her blue eyes blazing with passionate indignity. 


She turned her attention to Tom Paris.  "I believe we were about to dance, Lieutenant."


Paris flashed Chakotay a cheeky grin and slid his arm around Kathryn's waist.  He held her as much to support her as to irritate Chakotay.  She felt tottery and unsteady in his arms.  However, the brief flash of jealousy he saw in the commander's eyes was a definite bonus to the already pleasant feeling of wrapping his arms around his pretty captain.  He could think of many men aboard Voyager who would give a month's worth of replicator rations just to see her in that dress, let alone be close to her.  He just hoped B'Elanna wouldn't kill him for it later.


"You know, now that I think about it, I've never seen you slow dance, Captain." Tom said as he led her to the dance floor.  She muttered some reply he didn't understand and leaned into his chest.  He intentionally guided her to a spot that was painfully centered in Chakotay's line of vision.  It wasn't that he was being intentionally cruel.  He just thought that maybe the big guy could use a little push to get the ball rolling.  Nothing like jealousy to motivate a man to do what he'd wanted to do anyway.


"Well, don't I feel like a discarded piece of space trash." B'Elanna teased snidely.


"I think that's the whole point." Chakotay replied as he watched Kathryn wrap her arms around Paris's neck.  Tom smiled down at her and circled her small waist with his arms, pulling her a little too close to him.


"So do I." agreed B'Elanna .  She grinned wickedly at Chakotay.  "Well, old man… we can sit here and suck it up, or…"


"Or we can play the game too." he finished for her.  He stood and gallantly extended his hand to her.  "Care to dance with an old man?"


"You read my mind." she chuckled.


Tom watched in amusement as Chakotay gently placed his hand on the small of B'Elanna's back and led her to the dance floor.  Of course, they chose to dance right next to Tom and the captain.  Tom knew that B'Elanna had once harbored romantic feelings for Chakotay, and in the beginning of their relationship he had felt a bit threatened by it.  But he knew that she had grown to love him as completely as he did her.  She and Chakotay had developed a close, innocent friendship, nothing more.  He was grateful for that knowledge as he watched B'Elanna snuggle up to the commander's broad chest.  Otherwise, he may have been jealous.   Judging from the way the captain stared at them, she certainly was.


Kathryn tried to ignore the way that B'Elanna seemed to fit naturally into Chakotay's arms.  She closed her eyes and rested her head on Toms' firm chest, momentarily loosing herself in the feeling of a man's arms around her.  There had always been a strange attraction between herself and Tom Paris, and though she would never act on it, she had thought about curling up in his embrace more than once.   She was captivated as he held her close to him, listening to the beating of his heart and the hauntingly familiar tune of the music.


She had to admit to herself, though, that Chakotay was right.  She was drunk.  But for just this one rare and precious night she was carefree.  She knew that the guilt would rise in her with the morning's sun, and she would pay her dues to it then.  For this single night, she was leaving the captain behind, and letting Kathryn out for a much needed breath of fresh air.


Tom's voice pulled her back from her daze.  "Forgive me if I'm being too bold, Captain,  but…"


"What?!" she snorted, looking up to him.  "When have you ever worried about your audacity, Tom?"


"Well, you're spiked heels aren't usually in such close proximity to my toes." He chuckled.  "Or your knees so close to my..."


"I get the point Mr. Paris." She grinned wryly.


His amused expression softened into a look of affection as he stared down into her smiling face.  "I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely breathtaking tonight.  That color really suits you, and so does that smile you're wearing.  You really look… incredible."


She looked up at him, awe clearly visible on her face.  He was utterly sincere and she knew it.  "I don't know what to say, Tom."  She reached up and brushed his cheek with her fingers, a touch as faint as a whisper.  "That's the kindest thing anyone has said to me in a very long time."


Tom was unprepared for the way her touch reverberated through him.  It caught him unawares, and for a moment, he was speechless.  He hugged her tightly to him, not wanting the moment to pass, for he knew it would never come again.  Eventually, he reluctantly loosened his embrace and then said, "You know, I'm not the only one who noticed how mind-blowing you look tonight."


"What do you mean?"  She narrowed her eyes and looked at him suspiciously.


He glanced at Chakotay and B'Elanna dancing next to them.  B'Elanna had her hand on his chest and he was grinning at something she had said to him, but his eyes continually reverted back to Kathryn.  Chakotay's affection for her was obvious.  The entire crew knew he was nuts about her.  The captain did a better job of hiding her feelings for the commander, but those who were close to her saw through it, Tom Paris included.  Captain Janeway had done so much for him.  All he wanted was to see her happy, and he knew Chakotay would see to that with his every breath.  Now to give them a gentle push in the right direction.


"You know what I mean.  I'm talking about Chakotay.  You should've seen his face when he first saw you tonight.  I half expected smoke to pour out of his ears!" he teased.


She tried to act nonchalant, but a smile tugged at the corners of her red lips.  "Really?"


Tom failed to suppress and amused chuckle.  "He liked what he saw, Captain.  You have no idea the effect you have on him."


"Oh…" she purred seductively, "I have more of an idea than you think."


"And?"


"And what?"


"What effect does he have on you?" he prodded.


Kathryn's eyes immediately moved to him, her longing displayed clearly on her face.   "Chakotay is a very attractive man.  He's sensual, passionate, and more loving than anyone I've ever known.  I'm not immune to that, Tom." 


Thoughts of Chakotay seemed to sober her rapidly.  A melancholy expression washed over her face.  "But, there are protocols and guidelines…"


"Oh, come on Captain." he interrupted.  "That line might work with someone else, but I'm Owen Paris's kid, remember?  I know better."   He put a finger under her chin, raising her gaze so that he could meet her eyes.  "We've thrown protocol out the airlock more times than I can count since we've been stuck out here.  When we stole the transwarp conduit from the Borg for example.  In fact, I believe your exact words were, 'This is no time for protocol.'  Remember?"


She shook her head.  "That was different, Tom."


"Yes, it was different because that was only your life you were putting on the line. That doesn't scare you.  But with Chakotay it's your heart you'd be putting out there, and that terrifies you."  She opened her mouth to interject, but he didn't give her the chance.  "You're hiding, Captain.  Hiding behind Starfleet and parameters.  But eventually you'll have to stop lying to yourself.  We're a long way from home, and we're all we've got.  You've got a shot at happiness.  You should take it."


Before Kathryn could respond, Tom reached over and tapped Chakotay on the shoulder as another slow melody began to play.  "Excuse me, Commander, but I believe you have mine and I have yours.  Care to switch?"


Kathryn's jaw dropped in astonishment.  Audacious bastard !


An exuberant smile traveled across Chakotay's face.  Leave it to Paris.  Only he could be so brazen in the captain's presence and live to tell about it.  "Yes, Mr. Paris.  If this one is yours…" he gestured to B'Elanna, "then that one must be mine."  He took Kathryn's arm and gently pulled her toward him.


"How charmingly Neanderthal of you, Commander." Kathryn chided.  "Am I supposed to swoon?"


"Hey… Tom gave me a chance to get you in my arms, and I took it." he grinned.  "Swooning is optional."


Kathryn laughed, easing into his embrace.  "If you wanted me in your arms, Chakotay, all you had to do was ask."


Chakotay looked at her in abject amazement.  "I thought I had been asking, for the past four years in fact."


"Oh, shut up and dance with me." She taunted, regarding him with a raised eyebrow.  "Don't make me pull rank on you and make it an order."


"Aye.  Shutting up, Captain." he laughed softly, lowering his chin into her hair.  He closed his eyes and lost himself in the feeling of holding her close to him.  He was silently very grateful for this moment and wished it would never end.


B'Elanna jabbed Tom playfully in the ribs.  "You're incorrigible." She said as he pulled her into his arms.


"Maybe, but it worked.  Look at them."


B'Elanna watched her old friend hold the woman he loved to his chest, and hoped he didn't get his big Indian heart ripped out.  "You think she'll try evasive maneuvers when she sobers up?"


Tom shook his head.  "I don't think so.  She knows she needs him.  Besides, slow dancing with me seemed to sober her right up." he teased suggestively.


B'Elanna laughed and kissed him on the cheek.  One thing about Tom, he may be arrogant, but at least he's consistent.


When the song ended the four of them returned to their table.  Kathryn held tightly to Chakotay's hand, enjoying the warmth it radiated to her skin.  They managed to sit still and visit with Tom and B'Elanna for about another hour before Chakotay couldn't take it anymore.  He wanted what was left of this night alone with her.


"I hear the beaches on this world are extraordinary, Kathryn." he said softly into her ear.  "Feel up to a moonlight stroll?"


"I'd love to!" she enthused.


They said their goodnights, ignoring the irritating grins on their friend's faces, and left the cozy tavern hand in hand.




The night air was warm and invigorating.  The gentle breeze carried the scent of the alien sea to their noses, slightly salty.  It seemed that the tangy ocean smell was universal.  No matter how far away from Earth they were, the seas all had basically the same fragrance.  It was comforting somehow.


"It was nice of the Trelarians to invite us here.  This planet is beautiful."  Chakotay stated.


"Yes, it is."


"You should've taken them up on their offer of a room at the lodge, Kathryn.  I did, and my room is luxurious to say the least." he grinned.


"How many moons did you say this planet has, Chakotay?" she asked, gazing at the three satellites that were visible from the hemisphere they were on.


"Actually, it has seven, two of them are L-Class." he answered, tenderly stroking the soft skin on the back of her hand.  "I've been told that each moon has a story, a legend of sorts.  These people share the stories with their children on the same night every year and exchange gifts.  I guess you could say it's this planet's version of Christmas."


She smiled warmly at him.  Chakotay had always taken an interest in the cultural practices of alien worlds.  He had a deep appreciation for their traditions.  Kathryn lacked the patience and steadfastness to learn them.  His calm natured diplomacy and long attention span were invaluable assets to her.  He possessed such strength, yet was unbelievably gentle.  The paradox intrigued her, drew her to him like a magnet.


"What?" he queried softly.


She looked at him in puzzlement, her mind slowly returning from it sojourn.


"You're staring at me with that far away look you get sometimes."  He pulled her into his arms.  "Tell me what you're thinking."


She snaked her arms around his neck, running her fingers over his short-cropped hair.  It was as soft as she'd imagined it would be.  "I was thinking about you.  About us."


"Care to fill me in?"  He caressed her cheek affectionately.


"I was thinking about protocol, about defining parameters."


Chakotay pulled back, slighted by her mention of her damned parameters.  Defeat washed over his dark face, and he sighed heavily.  "Kathryn, please don't…"


"Shhh." She quieted him.  She reached up and stroked the tribal tattoo on his temple.  It was slightly distorted, his brow furrowed with worry.  "I mean that I was thinking about how stupid I've been.  Trying to establish parameters for our relationship as if it's another thing that I can just command.  I've been such a coward, Chakotay."


He looked absolutely confused.  "I'm afraid I don't understand."


"It's something Tom said to me while we were dancing." She said, cupping his cheek in her hand.  "He reminded me of the times when I've put protocol on the back burner, bending it and shaping it to suit my needs.  He said I've been hiding behind Starfleet.  Hiding from you."  She locked eyes with him, trying to gage his reaction.  He listened to her attentively; hope slowly returning to his chocolate eyes.  "He was right.  I can see that now.  These feelings I have for you… they scare the hell out of me.  I have been hiding, like a coward."


He tenderly tucked a stray lock of her red hair behind her ear, then slid his hand down her neck, resting it on her shoulder.  "How do you feel about me, Kathryn?"


There was such naked vulnerability in his eyes.  She knew that her answer could make his soul complete, or shatter his heart into a thousand tiny pieces.   He opened himself up to her, trusting her completely.  The honesty she saw in him touched her deeply.  She knew it was time to stop denying it, time to tell him the truth.


"Chakotay, I…"


Then, as if the Gods of this world had a sick sense of humor, thunder boomed and lightening crackled across the alien sky.  Before they could react, the clouds opened up and the rain began pouring down.  They were drenched within seconds.  It was cold rain, stinging their skin as it pelted down mercilessly.


Kathryn tapped her combadge.  "Janeway to Voyager."  She heard nothing but static.  "Voyager, please respond."


"The storm must be blocking communications." Chakotay said, stating the obvious.


"Your room at the lodge…"  He nodded in response.  "How far is it from here?"


"It's just past the tavern.  We can make it in about 15 minutes if we run."


Running would not be fun in her current attire.  She seized his hand.  "Lead the way."


They ran across the beach, laughing like children despite the cold.  Kathryn couldn't remember a time when she had felt so uninhibited.  Or so wet.  Her dress clung to her like a second skin, making it difficult to keep up with Chakotay.  The fact that his legs were much longer than hers, and that she was wearing five-inch heels notwithstanding. 


As if sensing her thoughts, Chakotay suddenly reached over and scooped her up in his arms as if she weighed next to nothing.  She shrieked in surprise, and then, laughing, wrapped her arms around his neck and relaxed into the warmth of his body.


Finally they arrived, panting, on the doorstep of Chakotay's room.  He punched in an access code and the door slid open.  The warm air from the heated space rushed out to caress their icy skin.  "Ahhh…" Chakotay sighed, stepping in and allowing the door to slide closed behind them.


"You can put me down now, Commander." Kathryn teased, tapping his shoulder expectantly.  He grinned at her, and then slid her body slowly down his until her feet touched the floor.  He still held her tightly against him.


"Better?" he asked, brushing her wet hair out of her face.


"Almost." she whispered, leaning into his embrace and slipping her fingers into his hair.  She nuzzled her face into the hollow of his neck, placing feather soft kisses along his neck and jaw line.


"Mmmmm" he moaned, unable to contain it.  He was intoxicated by her nearness, by the feel of her lips on his skin.  He cupped her face in his hands and slowly lowered his lips to hers in the gentlest of kisses.  It was chaste and noninvasive.  It offered affection but demanded nothing in return, just like Chakotay.  His heart rate accelerated at the feeling of her soft, supple lips brushing across his.  He had dreamed of this moment more times than he could recall.


Kathryn returned the kiss, pressing her body up against his.  He took her response as an invitation and deepened the kiss, nudging her lips apart with his tongue.  She gasped into his mouth as his tongue entered, gently probing and tasting her.  The kiss grew in passion and hunger, gaining intensity with each second as they explored and savored each other.  Finally, the need for oxygen forced them apart, both panting and gasping for air.


Chakotay felt a shiver travel through Kathryn's body.  "You're cold." He said, rubbing her arms to warm her.  "Let me get you something dry to wear." 


"Yes, thank you." she said, shivering at the immediate loss of body heat as he moved away from her.


He stopped in front of the closet and looked her up and down, grinning wickedly.  "Not that I have a problem with what you're wearing now."  Her soaked dress clung to every curve and contour of her trim body and he feasted on the sight, committing it to memory.


"Glad you approve." She purred in her husky voice.  She sauntered past him into the bathroom.  She retrieved a towel from the shelf and began drying her hair.


She heard Chakotay's soft laughter as he approached the bathroom.  "Well, I didn't bring much with me.  I had only planned on spending one night here and then beaming back to this ship in the morning."  He held a pair of dark blue pajamas in his outstretched arms.  "These are all I brought.  They'll be a bit big, but the color suits you."


She smiled warmly at him.  She had often wondered what he wore to bed, or if he wore anything at all.  "But you're clothes are soaked too, Chakotay.  What'll you wear?" 


"I'll manage.  You get changed and I'll get a fire going in the fireplace."


She smiled wryly at him.  "Okay, but I'm not cutting my hair this time."


He laughed at the memory of being unable to start a fire and using her long hair as kindling when they were stranded on Hanon IV.  "I've had a bit of practice since then."


Kathryn could hear him moving about in the bedroom as she removed her wet clothing.  She was soaked to the skin.  Even her bra and panties were dripping wet.  She removed them and hung them gingerly on the towel rack, then dried her cold skin with the fluffy towel.


She pulled the buttoned pajama top over her head.  Chakotay was right, it was huge on her.  It hung almost to her knees and the arms extended about seven inches past her fingertips.  She rolled up the sleeves and reached for the pajama bottoms.  She stopped before putting them on, thinking of Chakotay in his wet clothes.  It was ridiculous to make him suffer in his soaked attire.  They were both adults.  She decided that it was only fair to give him the bottoms.  She would just have to be careful until her panties dried, that's all.


Chakotay flashed her a full dimpled grin as she emerged from the bathroom wearing only his pajama top.  The thought of her bare skin brushing against the fabric of his favorite pajamas was stimulating to say the least.  His eyes traveled over her body, taking in the sight of her bare legs and feet.  It made her seem so human, so un-Starfleet, and made her even more dear to him.


"Here." she said, holding the pajama bottoms out toward him and grinning.  "You should put these on.  You're dripping on the carpet."


"Yes Ma'am." he teased, taking the offered pants and retreating to the bathroom.


Kathryn looked around the room.  Chakotay wasn't exaggerating when he said it was luxurious.  It was beautiful.  In the center of the enormous room was a large bed draped with a soft, white chiffon canopy.  It looked large enough to sleep five or six people comfortably.  There was a huge Jacuzzi tub in the corner.  It was elevated on a small pedestal of white stone, giving it a Grecian appearance.  It bubbled and effervesced enticingly.  In the opposite corner of the room was the most charming amenity, a gorgeous fireplace.  A glowing fire crackled peacefully inside, radiating warmth throughout the room.  A large marble bench that stretched along the wall complimented it, and a matching marble mantle endowed with beautiful pieces of sculpted art.  It was an exquisite room, creating the perfect romantic ambiance.


Kathryn noticed that Chakotay had covered the area rug in front of the fireplace with about a dozen huge, fluffy throw pillows.  He had poured two glasses of a sparkling liquid that she assumed was wine, and placed them on the marble bench.  She knew that if she had to stay with him in this room tonight, their relationship would be forever changed.  Part of her wanted to run and never look back, and part of her wanted nothing more than to stay here and make love to him until sunrise.


Before she could internalize the situation any farther, Chakotay stepped out of the bathroom wearing only the pajama bottoms that matched the top she wore.  They fit him just right, hugging his hips and thighs.  Kathryn's eyes moved along his bare chest, visually caressing his taught muscles and bronze skin.  Her fingers ached to trace his chiseled features, to feel him react to her touch.


"It's nice and warm over here by the fire." she said seductively.  "Care to join me?"  Was that my voice?  Husky as old velvet and thick with desire. 


"I'd love to." Chakotay returned.  He moved to her side and pulled her to the floor with him.  He took her gently into his arms, her back resting on his chest, and they snuggled up in front of the warm fire reclining slightly on the huge pillows.  He was still surprised when she didn't pull away.  Even though she had been more physical with him tonight than ever before, he still half expected her to retreat at his touch.  He was grateful when she didn't.


He decided that it was time to resume their interrupted conversation.  He was sure she was about to lower her shields, and he wasn't about to let the night pass without finding out. 


"So..." he began tentatively, "I believe you were about to answer my question before the rain tried to drown us."


Her pulse quickened instantly at the reminder of what she was about to tell him.  Her voice caught in her throat.


He turned her around and looked deeply into her blue eyes.  "You said you have feelings for me that frighten you.  How do you feel about me, Kathryn?  I need to know."


"Oh, Chakotay." she whispered, tracing his jaw with her finger.  "Have I pushed you so far away that you really can't see it?  I guess I've always assumed that you knew, that you sensed it."


"I need to hear you say it, Kathryn." he whispered in return.   "I feel as though I've waited a lifetime to hear you say it."


Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.  She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly on the cheek, on the chin, on the lips.  Tiny, emotional kisses all over his face, as though she couldn't get enough.  "I love you, Chakotay." She whispered breathlessly between kisses, her lips brushing against his as she spoke.  "I have always loved you." 


Chakotay's head was back, his eyes closed tight, as he absorbed the impact of her words and the emotion with which she was kissing him.  How could he have ever doubted that she loved him?  How could she have kept such passion bottled up inside?  His senses were reeling and his mind was in a jet wash as she unleashed four years of suppressed love on him.  Her lips blazed a fiery trail of hot kisses across his cheeks, his neck, and then his chest, as her tears dripped from her chin and moistened his skin.


He cupped her face in his hands and brought her gaze up to meet his, wiping her tears with his fingers.  "Gods, Kathryn." he gasped breathlessly.  "I love you too.  I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."


Kathryn heard nothing after that except the fireworks sounding in her own head.  Chakotay covered her lips with his in a kiss so passionate she felt it reverberating to her toes.  His tongue danced with hers as his strong hands began to caress her back, pulling her tightly to him.


She returned the kiss with equal fervor as her fingers splayed across the muscles of his bare chest, brushing across his nipples with the palm of her hand.  That action solicited a throaty moan from Chakotay that made every nerve in Kathryn's body tingle.


His mouth moved from her lips and followed a path down to the hollow of her neck.  He nipped and sucked at the delicate, creamy flesh.  "I want you, Kathryn." he whispered against her skin, sending electric chills through her body.


"Oh, God." She groaned as his hand cupped her breast tenderly, almost reverently.  "Make love to me, Chakotay."


He sighed heavily into her neck.  He could think of nothing in the universe that he wanted more.  He eased her onto her back, kissing and caressing every inch of her body that he could reach.  He lost himself in her soft moans as he traversed her neck with his lips and began to slowly unbutton the pajama top.  He wanted to feel her skin under his mouth, his hands.


He moved slowly, lovingly, giving her time to take in his caresses and stop him if she objected.  But she didn't.  She responded in kind, roaming his bare chest and back with her palms as though she were trying to absorb him through her hands.


He undid the last button and slowly pulled the shirt away from her body, his eyes touching every centimeter of newly revealed flesh.  Kathryn watched the desire and appreciation wash across his face as he looked at her.  She fought the urge to instinctively cover herself.  She breathed deeply, calming herself, and allowed him to take his time and explore her body with his eyes, trusting him completely.


Chakotay watched the blush creep across her cheeks, and understood the gesture she was making, offering herself to him with blind faith.  She was tentative, even a bit timid.  He saw that his touch and his gaze brought out a charming shyness in a woman who was otherwise larger than life.  On the bridge, Kathryn was powerful, commanding respect and engendering loyalty.  But here, in his arms, she was relinquishing control and giving herself to him.  And he loved her even more than before.


"You're beautiful, Kathryn." he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.  He felt her shudder beneath him as he brought his lips to her exposed breast.  She moaned and arched her back seductively as he flicked the taut nipple with his tongue.  His hand slowly traveled down her body, over her abdomen, to the thick thatch of curls between her legs.  He stroked her tenderly, letting her whimpers and moans guide him.


She parted her legs for him, allowing him access to a part of her body that had been long devoid of any contact.  Chakotay continued his ministrations, reveling in the feel of her reacting to his touch.  He slowly entered her with first one finger, then another, soliciting cries of pleasure from her throat.  She was tight and wet, ready for him.  He groaned in anticipation.  He had wanted her for so long.


Kathryn pulled impatiently at his pants, needing to feel his skin against hers, wanting him inside her.  Chakotay pulled away long enough to ease the pajama bottoms over his hips and down his legs.


"Oh, God." Kathryn moaned, feasting on his nude body and hard erection with her eyes.  He was everything she had ever imagined.  His chiseled muscles and bronze skin begged for her touch.


Chakotay joined her once again on the floor and she gently pushed him down onto his back.  She ran her hands down his chest to his abdomen, feeling the tight muscles under his skin.  Her lips followed in the wake of her caress, sending his senses spiraling with sensation.  She continued down his body, taking his erection into her hands.  A throaty groan escaped his mouth as she brought her head down and lapped at the tip of him with her tongue, savoring the salty taste.


His gripped the pillows tightly, his knuckles turning white as Kathryn took his full length into her mouth.  She sucked hungrily at him, her hands moving on his shaft in rhythm with her mouth.  He knew he wouldn't last long.


"Gods, Kathryn…" he moaned, taking her arms and pulling her to his chest.  He rolled her over onto her back and positioned himself over her.


"I want you inside me, Chakotay." she breathed in a low, throaty voice.


"Are you sure?" he whispered.  "Because once we do this, I don't think I can ever go back to the way we were.  If I have you now, I don't think I can ever let go."


She met his gaze, her eyes testifying to her need for him.  "I've never been more sure of anything.  We've waited long enough.  I need you, Chakotay."


His body tingled with anticipation as his lips claimed hers in a passionate kiss.  He positioned himself between her thighs, nudging her entrance with the tip of his erection.  She opened herself to him eagerly, stroking his back with her hands.


Kathryn was aware of nothing in the universe except for the supernova explosion inside her mind as Chakotay thrust his hips and entered her in one swift motion.  Four years of longing and loneliness exploded around her.  All the months of stolen glances, touches that lingered just a little too long, forbidden fantasies… it all crashed down around her as their bodies joined and their souls merged. 


She spared not a moment's thoughts for protocol or Starfleet.  She thought nothing of consequences or risks.  All she knew was that this joining was undeniably right.  It was the completion of her soul, and for the first time since they left Earth, she no longer felt isolated and alone.  She belonged with this man, and she didn't care what the price was.


Chakotay's breath was ragged and his thoughts chaotic as he moved within her.  He had waited forever for this moment.  He felt her tighten around him and knew she was as close as he was.  They were too swept up in the turbulence of their emotions to stop it from happening. 


"I love you, Kathryn." he gasped, thrusting into her with abandon and sending them both whirling into a soul-splitting climax.  He moved rhythmically inside her, riding out the shock waves of their explosive orgasms, and then collapsed on top of her.


Chakotay rolled onto his back, pulling Kathryn on top of him and wrapped her tightly in his arms.  A perfect fit, he mused to himself.  She belonged there in his embrace, as he always knew she would.  They stayed like that, clinging to each other for some time in absolute silence.  Both absorbing the impact of their actions.


"I meant what I said, Kathryn. " Chakotay finally said.  "I don't think I can go back to pretending.  Not now, not after being with you like this."


She raised her head from his chest and looked at him.  "I don't expect you to.  I need you in my life, Chakotay."  She traced his tattoo with her fingers.  "Now that I have you in my grasp, I don't intend to ever let you go.  You're stuck with me, you realize." she grinned.


He chuckled in relief and tightened his hold on her.  "I'll learn to live with it."


"You know, Chakotay, there is nothing I love more than a hot bath." She said, eyeing the Jacuzzi in the corner. 


He rose to his feet and scooped Kathryn up into his arms.  As he carried her over to the hot tub, he felt a sense of complete peace wash over him.  An absolute solace the likes of which he had never known.  He had always known that without her, he was less somehow.  But being with her brought him a resolution he never thought possible. 


"Chakotay," she whispered as they curled up together in the bubbling water, "tell me the ancient legend again."


He smiled broadly at her request.  She hadn't spoken of the legend, that wasn't really a legend at all, since they left New Earth four years ago.  But its symbolic presence at this time was not lost on him.


She held her hand up to him, and in a movement reminiscent of another time and place, he slowly joined hands with her, their fingers intertwined.  Presently, he began to speak softly.


"There was an angry warrior…"




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