Category:  Voyager J/C

Rating:  PG-13

Author:  LadyChakotay

Summary:  J/C  Chakotay crashes yet another shuttle, turning a routine away mission into a nightmare for himself and Janeway.  (Look, I'll admit it; it's been done a thousand times over.  I don't know why the cliché bug has bitten me, but it itches in just the right spot, so I'm going with it.)

Disclaimer:  Paramount owns them, every last one of them.  I just take them out of their boxes and dust them off once in a while to let them have some fun.  A concept that Paramount knows NOTHING about.  J   


Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount Pictures.  No infringement intended.




Say That You Love Me




"Reverse thrusters!  We need to slow our descent."


"It's not working." Chakotay frowned as he pounded the controls.  Beads of sweat gathered on his upper lip.  The data on his console was unmistakable.  They were going to crash. 


"Brace for impact!" Janeway cried. 


There was no time to launch a distress beacon, no time to eject the core to prevent a possible explosion.  There was only the creaking sound of tritanium strained beyond tolerance and the sickening sight of a planet's surface rushing up at them at break neck speed.  And then oblivion…




*~*~*~*~*




Tuvok took in the sight on the main viewer with quiet disconcertion.  "Mr. Paris, are you certain we are at the correct coordinates?"


"I'm positive, Tuvok." Frowned Tom.  "We're in the right place.  This is the rendezvous point.  They should be here."


"Ensign Kim, is there any sign of the shuttle on long range sensors?"


Harry shook his dark head.  "No, sir.  Nothing."  He continued to work his console, checking and rechecking as he spoke.  "Maybe we should set a course for Jaxis III and see if we run into them."


Tom turned to Tuvok, his brow raised in silent question.  His mind already setting course for the planet that Janeway and Chakotay were supposed to be returning from.


"Negative."  Tuvok returned to the command chair.  "It is possible that the away team simply got a late start on their return trip.  For now, we wait."


Yeah, let's wait. Thought Paris.  They could be in trouble somewhere, but what the hell?  We'll just wait right here.  Vulcans!




*~*~*~*~*




The air was acrid, the familiar stench of a coolant leak.  Each lung-scorching breath was slightly more painful than the last.  As the line between nothingness and coherency grew continually thinner, Janeway began to remember who and where she was.  This was not her first shuttle crash, far from it in fact.  And her disoriented mind took time to wallow in the fascination of how they all seemed to smell the same, that hot, acidic smell - like ozone.  Her head pounded like a hundred tom toms beating away at the inside of her skull.


A faint gurgling noise floated to her ears, her first recollection that she wasn't alone in her misery.  She torturously pulled her self into a sitting position, shoving the small section of seared bulkhead off her burnt and blistered legs.  That's when she saw him.


"Chakotay…" she rasped, using the sudden rush of adrenalin to propel her aching body toward him.  He was lying face down underneath what must've once been a navigation console.  He was completely still, the unnatural gurgling sound of his breathing the only sign of life.


Kathryn retrieved the medkit from the wall panel and injected herself with a pain reliever and then a triox compound.  She wouldn't be any good to Chakotay if she passed out before she got to him.


She felt the difference almost instantly, and most of the pain seemed to dissipate, more or less.  She took full advantage of it, rushing quickly to Chakotay's side.  She summoned her strength, panting with exertion, and lifted the debris off of him. 


Chakotay lay in a large pool of his own blood, though where it was coming from she couldn't tell.  His uniform was charred, almost completely burned away on his left leg.  To her horror, so was most of the skin.    She composed herself and began scanning him with the medical tricorder.  "Yes!  Yes, he's still alive."  She read the data scrolling across the small screen.  A concussion, but no intercranial bleeding.  Lung contusions, second and third degree burns on his leg … but no broken bones. No internal bleeding, that was a relief.  Where the hell was all the blood coming from?


Her command training finally kicked in, bringing rationality with it.  First things first.  She had to get them out of the shuttle and away from the coolant vapors before it got the better of them both.  She quickly scanned the environment outside.  Oxygen - Argon atmosphere, apparently the moon they had slammed into was L-Class.  That meant they could survive here for weeks if they had to.  God, how she hoped they didn't have to.  Fortunately, the weather outside was stable, even enjoyable under different circumstances.  At least that much was in their favor.


Kathryn gripped Chakotay firmly under the shoulders and began tugging him out of what was left of the shuttle.  Seeing as how he was about twice her size and dead weight, this was no small feat.  After what seemed like an eternity, she'd managed to pull him to safety; dragging his large body across the dirt until she was satisfied they were far enough away from the shuttle.


She tore a piece of fabric from her charred and disintegrating uniform and cautiously began wiping the blood from his face.  It only took a swipe or two of the cloth before she could see where the bright red blood was oozing from. 


Chakotay had a gruesome laceration across his forehead.  It extended into his hairline, and in places, was all the way to his skull.  Head wounds had a tendency to bleed like hell, and this one was no exception.  She fumbled nervously with the medkit she had slung over her shoulder until she found the dermal regenerator.  It wouldn't completely heal a gash that deep, but it would at least close the more shallow portions and hopefully stop the bleeding.  She bit on her lower lip as a distraction from her own pain while she treated her friend. 


When she was satisfied that she had the bleeding under control, and had done all she could to reduce his pain, she administered a dose of anaproveline to wake him.  His eyes fluttered at the hiss of the hypospray, and a raucous groan escaped his lips. 


"Chakotay?  It's Kathryn.  Can you hear me?"


His eyes opened and he tried, not without considerable effort, to focus his gaze on her.  His hand moved to her leg as she knelt beside him, patting in confusion. "Kathryn?" 


She took his hand in hers and brought it to her heart.  "I'm here, Chakotay.  It's okay.  You're going to be alright." 


His memory began to return in short, erratic bursts.  "The shuttle…"  He tried to sit up, feeling the primal need to survey his surroundings.


"Take it easy, Commander."  She gripped his shoulders and gently eased him back to the ground.  "You've had quite a knock on the head.  You're equilibrium will be playing tricks on you for a while.  Just try to relax."


Slowly his senses began to return, despite the pounding headache and the fire raging on his leg.  His dark eyes fixed on hers.  "Are you alright, Kathryn?  You're bleeding."  He gestured to a large cut on her right arm.


She looked down, inspecting the gash through the torn edges of her uniform.  "I hadn't noticed." She said absently.  She'd been too worried about him.  "It's fine." She smiled.  "Nothing a dermal regenerator won't fix."  She nodded toward the shuttle.  "I'm going to see if there's enough power to send a message to Voyager, and activate the homing signal.  You lie still.  I'll only be a few minutes."


He grabbed her wrist.  "You shouldn't go in there, Kathryn.  The fumes haven't had time to dissipate."


She gave him her most reassuring smile.  "Don't worry.  Seven years of shuttle rides with you have trained me well.  I'm very good at holding my breath."


Chakotay tried to follow her orders and lie still while she was gone.  He hated being so helpless.  It was the most frustrating feeling he'd ever known.  He knew Kathryn could handle herself, she'd proven that time and again.  But the thought of her having to care for him instead of the reverse was about enough to drive him mad.


True to her word, she returned minutes later, breathless and clutching her chest.  The fumes had obviously taken their toll.


"Are you okay, Captain?"


"I'm fine." She panted.  "Unfortunately, I …don't …have very …encouraging news."  Her words came out in short, choppy spurts in between coughs and gasps for clean air.  She ignored Chakotay's worried expression.  "We lost communications in the crash.  The damage is irreparable.  I activated the homing signal.  We'll just have to take shelter and wait for Tuvok to find us."


"Well, if anyone can find us, it's Tuvok." Comforted Chakotay.  "With his Vulcan efficiency, he'll leave no ion trail unturned."


Her short auburn hair fell in wispy tendrils around her face as she scanned the area with her tricorder.  "There…" she nodded to an area just South of the shuttle.  "There's a cave over there, no life signs."  She began gathering the medical equipment and packing it in the medkit.  "We can take shelter there.  It'll protect us from the sun during the day and the winds at night."


He grinned to himself, despite his pain.  If he had to be stranded on an alien moon with someone, at least it was her.  Even at her worst, she was the best.  "And just how do you intend to get us there?  You plan to drag me all that way, Wonder Woman?"


She nodded without a moment's hesitation.  "If that's what I have to do, yes."  Her eyes fell to the charred muscle on his left leg.  "I don't think you can walk.  You've got serious burns on your leg."


"You have some rather nasty burns yourself."  He pointed to the blistered welts he could see on her calves and right thigh, where her uniform had been burned away.  "Have you taken time to treat your own injuries, Captain?"


"I'm fine, Commander."  She flashed him The Look.  "Let's just concentrate on getting to that cave, hmmm?  With your bumps and bruises, it'll be as much work for you as it is for me, I assure you."


"Yes, Ma'am." He nodded, a soft smile curling on his lips.  He'd cooperate until they got to the safety of the cave, and then she'd stop and treat her own injuries if it killed him.  And judging from the look of stubborn determination on her face, it just might.




*~*~*~*~*




The bridge was unusually silent as the crew waited for any sign of the command team's shuttle.  Waiting had never sat well with Paris.  He was more of a take action kind of guy.  This hurry up and wait stuff was driving him crazy.  If he didn't know better, he'd have sworn he could hear an old clock ticking in the background.  He dared a quick glance over his shoulder and found, to his dismay, Tuvok's irritatingly calm visage staring back at him.  Sometimes he just wished the Vulcan would get anxious like the rest of them.


"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"


Problem?  No, of course not.  Hanging motionlessly in space is every pilot's dream!   "No, sir."


Tuvok rose to his feet.  "Ensign Kim, run one more long range sensor sweep.  If there is still no sign of the shuttlecraft, we will set course for Jaxis III.  We will begin our search there."


It's about time!


"Aye, sir." Harry answered, already punching in the commands on his console.


The mood on the bridge changed instantly.  The air of silent frustration gave way to a buzz of concentrated purpose.  The waiting game had never been their strong suit.  This crew was at its best when they were in motion.



*~*~*~*~*




The journey, or more aptly the drag, to the cave had been an arduous one for both of them.  But they had finally arrived, panting like they'd just ran the Starfleet Academy marathon. 


"You never cease to amaze me, Captain." he wheezed.


She rummaged through her pack and retrieved a bottle of sterile water.  "Oh? Why is that?"


He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her.  "I would never have thought you could drag this big old body of mine such a long distance, considering you're only half my size."  He grinned affectionately.  "Guess I underestimated you."


She offered him a lop-sided smile as she pulled gauze strips from the medkit.  "You know what they say about small packages, Commander."


"Especially small, red headed packages." He winked.


She chuckled softly as she scooted next to him, brushing her defiant locks out of her eyes.  "I've always hated my hair.  When I was a girl, I used to beg my mother to let me dye it.  Brown, blonde… it didn't matter.  Anything but this reddish color."


His eyes softened as he looked at her.  He reached a hand out and very tenderly tucked a stray tendril behind her ear.  "I think it's beautiful.  It suits you."


Her cheeks flushed and she averted her eyes briefly.  "Thank you."  A slightly awkward moment of silence passed between them, and then Janeway cleared her throat self-consciously.  "Well…" she twisted the lid off the bottle of sterile water.  "We need to clean those burns."  She looked sadly at him.  "This will hurt, Chakotay.  But if we don't get the dirt and debris out of there, you'll get an infection."


"I understand."


Chakotay braced himself for the pain.  For a brief second, the cool water was almost soothing on his smoldering tissue.  But that ended the instant it made its way to the sensitive nerves exposed by burnt away flesh.  He bit down hard on his lower lip to stifle his tortured screams.  Instead, they slipped through as anguished groans that went into Kathryn's ears and straight through her heart.


"I'm sorry." She said gently as she continued her ministrations.  "Feel free to curse or call me names.  I promise not to take it personally."


"Never." He grunted through clenched teeth.  "One wrong word and I spend the rest of the trip in the brig."


When she finally finished cleaning his burns, Chakotay lay in a limp heap on the ground, exhausted from the ordeal.  He'd nagged her about her own wounds until she relented and he watched as she finally saw to her injuries.  She was too busy to realize he was looking at her, so he took the opportunity to study her unobserved. 


She sat on the cave floor, legs curled up gracefully against her side, running the dermal regenerator over the gash in her arm.  Her hair was a turbulent mane of knotted red tendrils brushed hastily away from her eyes.  Her uniform, or rather what was left of it, was blood stained, hers or his he wasn't sure, and shredded as it clung to her diminutive form.  Her brow was furrowed in concentration, her lips pressed together and the muscle in her cheek twitching slightly.  She looked like a train wreck, but to Chakotay, it was the most beautiful sight in the world.  Even in her present state, she moved with grace and precision.  And she exhibited that air of regal authority that he had come to associate with Kathryn Janeway.


As his eyes followed the curve of her spine, the gentle slope of her shoulder, the curve from her small waist to her hips, he realized that he had never in his life been so totally captivated by a woman.  Kathryn was different, unique with a distinctiveness all her own.  And her spirit burned into his more each moment he knew her.


Their relationship was, likewise, unique.  They shared nearly everything, joy and sorrow, success and failure - all the ins and outs of daily life.  He was her understood escort to any function, and she was his unofficial bow tie straightener and color coordinator.  They shared every intimacy enjoyed by married people, save one.  They had never been lovers.  They shared hugs, good night kisses, even the occasional caress.  But never a bed.  Kathryn had made it clear long ago, that part of their relationship would never happen as long as they were on the ship.  There was just too much at stake, she thought.  And while he didn't necessarily agree, he respected her feelings and didn't push.


B'Elanna once asked him why he didn't move on and forget about her since she had no plans of allowing him to consummate his feelings.  He had simply responded, "There are other ways to express love, B'Elanna." 


So as the years rolled by, he'd learned how to take what he needed in other ways.  The occasional evening in her quarters when she would curl up with him on the sofa, allowing him to hold her in his arms while they talked about everything, or about nothing at all.  The affectionate way she rested her hand on his chest, or the way she stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek.  Their endless working breakfasts in the mess hall and quiet dinners in his quarters.  These things sustained him, and the gentle man was able to accept what she could give and find joy in just being near her.  For now, that was enough. Though he hated to admit that even those moments were becoming fewer and farther between lately.


That's not to say he didn't desire her, of course.  She was a beautiful and provocative woman who pleasured in teasing the hell out of him.  Chakotay had taken more cold-water showers in the Delta Quadrant than he had in his entire life.  The way she cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, the alluring scent of her soft perfume, the way her hips swayed as she slinked like a cat across the bridge, all of those things had fueled countless fantasies for him, and he would've loved to explore every inch of her.  But he just kept believing that the time for that would come.    They would love each other in the most intimate way sooner or later.  It was inevitable.  He didn't know how he knew that, he just did.  He'd known it since New Earth.  He didn't notice Kathryn staring back at him as the memories of their time together there washed over his clouded mind.  He remembered everything vividly, the bathtub, Kathryn's Talaxian tomatoes, even the damn monkey…


"Are you staring at me, or have you slipped into a coma with your eyes open?"


Her throaty voice and crooked grin pulled Chakotay from his musings.  "Which one do you prefer?"


She scooted next to him, groaning slightly as her abused muscles protested the motion.  "You looked a million light years away."  She lifted his shoulders gently, resting his dark head on her lap.  A tender gesture not lost on Chakotay. 


"No, just a few hundred."


She arched an eyebrow.  "Is it a private trip down memory lane, or would you like to talk about it?"


"Actually, I was thinking about New Earth."


A flash of sadness washed across her face.  "I … I didn't know you still thought about that.  It seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?"


He looked up at her from his position on her lap.  "Maybe, but I remember it like it was yesterday.  Even the monkey."


This solicited a small laugh from her.  "I'm telling you, Chakotay.  There was intelligence in him.  I could sense it.  If we'd stayed on that planet much longer, I would've found a way to communicate with him." 


She stroked his hair idly, a far away look in her blue eyes.  She was slowly being flooded with memories of their time together.  Lazy days in the sunshine, long nights of story telling and laughing over hot coffee.  She had fallen in love with him then, and carried that love within her still.   She was so enraptured with the bittersweet memories that she didn't even realize she was still speaking aloud.  "I learned a lot about myself on that planet.  Being there was like being in our own little universe.  I was someone else then.  I was learning how to connect, how to listen.  And every day I came a little closer to understanding him.  To understanding what we both wanted."


He narrowed his eyes as he watched her.  "Why do I get the feeling we aren't talking about the monkey anymore?"


His question seemed to snap her back to reality.  A blush crept across her cheeks as she realized she'd been rambling aloud.  She forced a thin smile.  "Forget about it.  The cold must be starting to affect my mind."  She stared out the cave opening.  "It's almost night on this moon.  I better go to the shuttle and get the emergency rations and the thermal blankets.  We're going to need them."


He sat up and stared at her as she rose to her feet.  She was running away again, as she always did when they came close to having an honest discussion about their feelings.  Her eyes pleaded with him not to push her, and so he simply said, "Be careful, Kathryn."


"I will." She said softly.  "See you soon."


He watched her retreating form, and wondered if she'd ever reach a point where her feelings didn't scare her so much.




*~*~*~*~*




Harry Kim frowned at the data displayed on his console.  "Still no sign of the shuttle, sir."


Tuvok nodded in response.  "Are we within communications range, Ensign?"


"Yes." 


"Hail them."  Tuvok rose from the command chair and took a few steps toward the view screen.  Almost immediately, the starfiefld disappeared, giving way to the image of a lilac colored, scaly alien.


"I am Magistrate Talar of the Jaxian Order.  How may I be of service?"


Paris tried to gauge the temperament of the alien, as he knew Tuvok was doing as well.  The Magistrate seemed nice enough.  He had a friendly smile on his face.  At least, it looked like a smile.  But as far as Paris was concerned, everyone was suspicious until they located the captain and Chakotay.


"I am Lieutenant Commander Tuvok of the Federation Starship Voyager."


Recognition flashed immediately in the alien's violet eyes.  "Ah, Voyager.  Captain Janeway's ship.  Welcome to Jaxis III."


"Thank you, Magistrate."


"Has Captain Janeway finally decided to accept our offer of shore leave for your crew?" the alien asked excitedly.  "We would be honored to have your people join us for our annual harvesting celebration."


"Actually, we have come to discuss a matter of some urgency." Said Tuvok.  "You see, Captain Janeway's shuttle failed to arrive at the rendezvous coordinates.  We are, at this time, uncertain of her whereabouts.  She and Commander Chakotay appear to be missing."


The pleasant expression faded from the alien's lilac face.  "Oh my…" he said softly.  "Your captain and her companion departed our planet on schedule, Lieutenant Commander.  We tried to convince them to stay for an extra day or two and participate in the upcoming festivities as our honored guests, but Captain Janeway graciously refused saying only that they had a rendezvous time to keep."


If Tuvok were suspicious of this pleasant creature, he showed no sign of it.  Of course, Tuvok rarely showed signs of anything.  His demeanor was as calm as always as he spoke.  "Are there any potential hazards or hostile species between your world and the rendezvous coordinates that you are aware of?"


The Magistrate punched some controls on his console.  "Actually, there is one area that may be of concern."  He gestured to an image on the display panel behind his right shoulder.  "This the eighth planet in our system.  It is unofficially called J'Lyxia.  It means loss of life."


"Sounds like a hospitable place." Muttered Paris.


Tuvok retained his diplomatic composure.  "Would it be possible for your people to assist us in our search, Magistrate?"


Talar's violent eyes projected a sincere concern as he spoke.  "Of course, Lieutenant Commander.  But first, we must educate your crew on the hazards of J'Lyxia and its moons lest we suffer the same fate that may have befallen your captain."




*~*~*~*~*



It took Janeway longer than she'd anticipated to gather the supplies from the shuttle and make her way back to the cave.  Of course, that was mostly due to the fact that she had unwittingly stepped into a small animal hole of some kind and twisted her ankle.  Limping slowed down a person's travel time considerably.  Even the usually invincible Captain Janeway.


She stumbled into the cave entrance, eager to drop the heavy pack off her aching back and check on the condition of her first officer.  But she only made it one step into the cave before his strained voice stopped her.


"Don't move, Kathryn."


She stopped dead in her tracks and stared in abject horror at the sight before her.  There - coiled up on Chakotay's right leg - was the ugliest snake she had ever seen.  Its head was recoiled back, jaw slightly agape; it's body tense and ready to attack if Chakotay so much as flinched.  "Oh my God!" she whispered.


The hideous reptile must've been at least 20 feet long, its shiny red and black scales glistening in the last embers of the dying sunshine.  It looked like it could swallow Chakotay's whole leg in one bite.   Its narrow yellow eyes focused intently on its prey.


She noted that Chakotay was alarmingly pale and seemed to be fighting to stay conscious.  His face contorted in a grimace of agony even as he forced himself to remain still.  That's when she saw the bloody holes on his upper thigh.  Two distinct puncture wounds.  Her heart pounded in her throat.  He'd already been bitten!


Kathryn moved slowly, painstakingly, as she went for the phaser holstered on her hip.  The snake looked ready to pounce any second, and she knew another bite would kill him - if he wasn't dead already from the first one.


She locked her palm around her weapon and prayed silently that she would hit the snake instead of blowing Chakotay's leg off.   Then she drew the phaser with a speed worthy of any Wild West Gunslinger … and fired.


The snake's diamond shaped head more or less vaporized on impact, leaving only its decapitated body still coiled around Chakotay's leg.  Janeway breathed a sigh of relief.  If she had hit Chakotay she would never have forgiven herself.


"Nice shooting."


"She dropped her pack and ran to his side.  "Where the hell did this thing come from?" she said as she pulled the snake's corpse away from its final victim.


"I … I was dozing off, I think." Panted Chakotay.  "I felt something moving on my leg and I jerked reflexively.  Before I even knew what'd happened, the snake bit me."


Kathryn dug into the medkit and scanned Chakotay with the tricorder.  Her heart fell into her stomach as she read the data on the small screen.  She tried to school her expression and look completely calm.


Chakotay knew her too well.  "What?" he wheezed.  "What is it?"


Kathryn's eyes locked with Chakotay's, the gravity of the situation showing clearly on her face despite herself.  "The snake injected tiny venom sacks into your tissue.  The sacs are being dissolved by your blood.  And if we don't do something soon, they'll rupture and the poison will be carried to your brain in your bloodstream.


Well, that didn't sound very nice.  Chakotay watched her fumble anxiously through her pack as he tried to maintain his tenuous hold on rationality through the pain.  She retrieved a hypospray.


"What's your plan, Kathryn?"


She pressed the silver casing to his neck.  "I'm injecting you with the strongest analgesic we have.  It's a narcotic, so you might start to feel a bit euphoric."


"Thanks." He grunted.  "Now I can at least be as high as a kite when I die."


Kathryn gripped his arm firmly.  "Listen to me.  You are not going to die, Chakotay.  You're going to fight this.  That's an order."  She tried to offer him a reassuring smile.  "Besides, if memory serves me correctly, you still owe me dinner in the holodeck.  I intend to collect."


His gentle eyes regarded her warmly as the opiate haze crept over him.  "Understood.  We'll have rattlesnake."


Kathryn pulled a knife from her backpack and began cleaning it with an antiseptic wipe from the rapidly depleting medkit.  She regarded Chakotay with a look of pained sympathy.


"What do you intend to do with that?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.


She plucked a small stick from the cave floor and wiped it off on her uniform.  Then she focused her sad eyes on her friend.  "I have to cut out the venom sacs before they rupture.  I'm sorry, but we have no choice."


Chakotay tried not to wince at the thought.  He knew this would be hard enough on Kathryn without the added guilt of his suffering.  "Well, if you have to cut me, I'm suddenly very grateful the snake bit my leg and not something else."


Kathryn laughed softly at his brave attempt at humor.  She knew it was mostly for her benefit.  She leaned forward and laid her hand on his chest.  "Are you ready?"


He smiled bravely at her.  "If you promise to kiss it better when we get back to Voyager."


She returned his smile.  "After what I'm about to put you through, that's the least I can do."  Her eyes softened as she looked at him and she knew her affection for him was sitting right on the surface, but she couldn't help it.  Slowly she leaned over and brought her lips to his in a soft, chaste kiss.  The shocked look on his face prompted a wry smile from her.  "That's partial payment up front.  You get the rest when we get back to the ship."


"I'll hold you to that."


She grinned.  "I'm counting on it."


Before he could say anything else, she pushed the stick into his mouth.  "Here, you can bite down on this.  Ready?"


He nodded and dropped his head back, thinking they would both be less nervous if he didn't watch.


Kathryn took a few steadying breaths, suddenly wishing that there was another person available to hold Chakotay down.  People often get combative with intense pain, and she knew she couldn't cut the venom sacs out and hold him still at the same time.   They didn't teach me this at the Academy!


With one last deep breath, Janeway began slicing away at Chakotay's already dying flesh.  To his credit, he managed to keep his hands from slapping Kathryn away from his leg, but the tortured screams that escaped his lips tore through her very soul.


Kathryn fought the tears that started to form in her eyes.   The last thing she needed to do was get blurry-eyed and accidentally slice an artery.  You're his Captain, damn it.  Focus!


Years of command training and Tuvok's survival courses kicked in, and she managed to tune out Chakotay's painful wails and focus on the deadly venom sacs embedded in his tissue.  She sliced the last piece of muscle away and then cleaned the wound with the last of the sterile water.


She glanced at his face as she packed the wound with sterile gauze.  "Are you still with me, Commander?"


"Yes." He whispered weakly.  His body slumped against the ground, the pain having drained him of what little energy was left in him.


She wet a piece of cloth and lifted Chakotay's head, resting it again on her lap.  She spoke softly as she wiped his sweat soaked forehead with the cool cloth.  "You're going to be okay, Chakotay.  I promise you.  Soon, we'll be back on Voyager and this whole thing will seem like a distant nightmare." 


Chakotay fell asleep quickly and she covered him with the thermal blankets.  She used her phaser to heat a pile of alien rocks, and the small cave was flooded with a warm glow.  She leaned back on the cave wall next to Chakotay's sleeping form, phaser in hand, and prepared to keep vigil over her wounded soldier during the long night that lay ahead.  Nothing else would hurt him again, not if she could stop it.  She only hoped she could keep him alive until Voyager found them.


"Come on, Tuvok.  I'm counting on you, old friend."



*~*~*~*~*


Harry Kim hung his dark head as he worked with Seven of Nine in astrometrics.  The news they had learned from the Jaxians had not been encouraging.  In fact, it'd been nothing short of disturbing as far as Harry was concerned. 


The area surrounding J'Lyxia was said to be pocketed with small subspace disturbances that appeared briefly and then disappeared, only to reappear somewhere else.  It was nearly impossible to pilot a ship around them because they emerged with virtually no warning.  A vessel caught in one of these pockets suffered immediate power failures that lead to a slow cascade systems failures throughout the ship.  When they were finally spit back into normal space, they were tossed with a force equivalent to the shockwave of a small antimatter explosion.  If the ship's inertial dampeners were one of the systems to fail, the occupants of the vessel were nothing but splatters on the wall.  The few vessels that survived the blow usually crashed in a spinning jet wash onto one of the planet's moons.  So far, only one crew had ever lived to tell about it.


The flight plan Captain Janeway filed with the Jaxian government showed no indication that they planned to be going anywhere near that area of space.  But changing course on an away mission was a common occurrence.  There could be any number of reasons for them to have diverged from their flight plan.  And if they were unaware of the danger of that area, they may have headed straight into it.


It had only taken Seven a few minutes to study the data on the anomaly and enhance Voyager's shields to protect them.  If only they'd known beforehand, they could've modified the shuttle's shields as well.


Seven raised a metallic eyebrow at the data displayed on her console.  "I have found something."  She punched in a few commands and the information was projected on the huge wall to floor screen in front of them.  "I have located the shuttle's residual ion trail."


Harry's dark eyes widened as he took in the sight.  His worst fears had been confirmed.  The shuttle's trail led right into the area surrounding J'Lyxia and then abruptly disappeared.  "Damn." He said, slamming the console with his fist.


Seven regarded him with her customary haughtiness.  "Would you like me to get you a phaser?  Perhaps it would aid us in our search if you blew the console into microfragments."


Was she trying to make a joke?  Harry rolled his eyes; he hated Borg humor.  "I'm sorry, Seven.  This is just so … so frustrating."


She studied him with her large blue eyes, noting the increased heart and respiratory rate.  He was obviously experiencing anxiety.  She found it peculiar how humans allowed their minds to create such unpleasant images in situations that were as of yet unknown.  "You are assuming the shuttle has been destroyed.  Yet we have not discovered any evidence to support that theory.  Why?"


Harry sighed as he looked at her, wondering if she would ever really understand humanity after a lifetime among the collective.  "I'm not assuming it, Seven.  Just fearing it.  It's human nature to hope for the best but prepare for the worst."


Interesting.  Ensign Kim's statement had a certain logic to it.  She filed it away as something to discuss with Captain Janeway at a later time.  It was at that moment the thought first occurred to Seven that the captain and commander may never return.  Her stomach tightened inside her - a curious sensation.  Was this what the remainder of the crew was experiencing at this time?  She suddenly felt it of paramount concern to reassure Mr. Kim, and perhaps herself at the same time.


She put a tentative hand on Harry's shoulder.  Not an awkward gesture, but not an entirely comfortable one either.  The Borg do not feel it necessary to offer tactile comforts in this manner.  Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke.  "I am aware that the situation appears … daunting at this time.  But Captain Janeway is a resourceful leader and a skilled pilot.  And Commander Chakotay 's youth among his tribe has afforded him notable survival skills.  We will find them, Ensign."


Harry's gaze softened as he looked at her.  Perhaps he had judged her lack of understanding of humanity prematurely.  He found her words comforting.  "Thank you, Seven.  If anyone can find them, it's you."


She nodded curtly.  "We should resume or search."


Harry smiled, and then returned his attention to his console. 


Seven tapped her combadge.  "Seven of Nine to the bridge.  We have located a portion of the shuttle's trajectory, Commander.  It is indicative of a course change directly into the area of space in question."


"Acknowledged." Came Tuvok's clipped baritone.  "I am on my way to join you in astrometrics."



*~*~*~*~*


Kathryn rubbed her hands together in an attempt to regain feeling in her fingertips.  It'd gotten so cold when the sun went down.  At first she welcomed the cool night air.  It was crisp and invigorating and she thought it would help her stay awake to watch over Chakotay as he slept.  But the temperature had turned from cool to frosty and now she could see her breath fogging in front of her. 


She gathered the rest of the rocks from the cave floor and added them to her pile.  She fired her phaser, once again heating the rocks until they emitted a warm orange glow.  The small cave immediately began to heat up and Janeway sighed in relief.  It would still be cold, of course.  But at least it would be bearable.


Chakotay moaned and clawed at his wounded leg in his sleep.  Kathryn rushed to his side.  "No, Chakotay." She said, seizing his wrists to still him.  "Those are the last of the bandages."


His brown eyes opened a crack as he fought to free himself from Kathryn's grip.  "Hurts…" he slurred.  "It burns."


"I know." She said sadly.  "I know it hurts."  She reached up to stroke his cheek, but jerked back reflexively as she felt the heat of him.  He was burning up with fever.  She grabbed the tricorder and scanned him.  "Damn!" she cursed aloud.  He had a dangerously high fever and his leg was becoming infected.  But worse than that, the scan revealed that a few of the venom sacs had survived her knife, and a small amount of the toxin had made its way to Chakotay's febrile brain.  She silently cursed herself for her failure to extract them all.  If he died there on that alien moon, it would be her fault.


She shook him gently by the shoulders, wanting to wake him to assess his mental status.  "Chakotay."  She shook a bit harder.  "Chakotay, can you hear me?"  He mumbled something unintelligible and then tried to roll away from her.  "Commander, answer me." She ordered in her best command tone.


That did it.  Years of answering to that voice could not be denied.  Chakotay's dark eyes snapped open and he stared at Kathryn in obvious confusion.  Or was it delirium?  "Captain?"


"Yes!" she said, smiling slightly with relief.  He recognized her at least.  "Yes, it's me, Chakotay.  Do you know where you are?"


His voice was slurred as if he were drunk.  "Of course." He giggled.  "I'm serving on the Gettysburg.  These are my quarters.  What are you doing here, anyway?"


Kathryn's breath caught in her throat.  The Gettysburg?  If she remembered correctly, that was the ship he served on before joining the Maquis.  He was definitely delirious.  "What's my name, Chakotay?"


He laughed madly for a moment.  "You're name's not Chakotay.  That's MY name."  He looked at her, or more accurately - through her.  "You're Captain Gordon.  I could write it down for you in case you forget again."


Madolyn Gordon was the captain of the Gettysburg.  Was he reverting into his past as the venom attacked his brain, or was he just confused from the pain and the fever?  She gripped his chin firmly in her hand, beckoning him to meet her eyes.  "No, Chakotay.  It's me, Kathryn.  Look at me."


A glint of recognition flickered momentarily as he stared at her through narrowed eyes, and then faded away.  "Kathryn?  No, you couldn't possibly be Kathryn." He said dismissively, and then turned away from her.


She raised a quizzical eyebrow.  "Why not?"


He rolled his eyes at her as if the answer was incredibly obvious and she was painfully stupid.  "Because Kathryn doesn't come to my quarters anymore."


She winced slightly as his statement stabbed at her heart.  It was true.  Her feelings for him became more difficult to resist with each day they spent in this godforsaken quadrant, and she had begun to avoid being alone with him for any extended period of time. 


Chakotay was obviously in complete delirium.  He thought she was Captain Gordon, and that he was in his quarters on the Gettysburg.  Yet, he remembered her, remembered that she was a part of his life even if she didn't enter it until after he joined the Maquis.  It was nonsensical - as only true delirium can be.


"And…" he muddled, "You touched my face.  She hasn't done that in a long time.  But she used to."  His eyes glistened in the soft light of the heated rocks, and his face seemed relaxed by whatever memory was playing inside his mind.  "She used to touch me a lot."


Kathryn tried to ignore his painful ranting as she dug through the depleted medkit for something she could use to bring down his temperature.  She spied a small canister of non-narcotic analgesic - the last one.  It was an antipyretic.  It should reduce his fever without adding to his altered level of consciousness.  She loaded the hypospray and pressed it to his neck, noticing that her own dexterity was becoming more and more impaired as the night air grew colder.  Soon, she would have to join Chakotay under the blankets or freeze to death.


Chakotay's rambling continued as Kathryn fetched some water from their small supply of rations.  "You know what else she used to do?  She used to invite me to the holodeck.  She likes to go sailing."


She lifted his head and brought the container to his lips.  "Drink this, Chakotay."  He gulped greedily at the water, and Janeway was relieved that at least this one small thing was being accomplished with ease.  She took a drink of the water too, not realizing how dry her mouth was until the refreshing liquid hit her tongue.  Then, unable to stand the cold and shivering anymore, she lifted the blankets and slid under them next to Chakotay.  A wave of warmth washed over her and she found herself drawing from the massive heat radiating from Chakotay's fevered body.


He didn't seem to notice her.  He just kept rambling as she snuggled up to his back.  "You would love her you know.  Everyone loves Captain Janeway."


Kathryn failed to suppress a chuckle at the thought.  "Not everyone."


"I do." He said matter-of-factly.  "I've always loved her."


Kathryn's heart leapt into her throat.  She'd known he had feelings for her, but to hear him say it aloud was both joyous and painful at the same time.  She rested a hand on his shoulder as she curled up behind him.  "She loves you too, Chakotay." She whispered.


He groaned in pain as he tried to adjust his position and make his injured limb more comfortable.  He rolled onto his side, facing her, and shut his eyes tight.  Kathryn panicked momentarily, afraid that if he fell asleep, he would slip into a coma and never wake up.  She had to keep him talking. 


"Tell me about her." She said.


A gentle smile curled Chakotay's lips but he didn't open his eyes, as if he was picturing her in his mind.  His voice was soft as he spoke, his body becoming weaker by the minute.  "She's incredible.  Intelligent, brave, and very beautiful.  She makes me feel things I've never felt before, and she makes me want to be a better officer, a better person.  She's … well, she's everything."


Kathryn felt a tear escape her eye and roll lazily down her cheek.  Why hadn't he told her this before?  As quickly as the question formed in her mind, the answer followed. 


He had. 


He told her every single day.  Said it clearly in the way he looked at her, the soft way he spoke her name, as if he were chanting something holy.  He showed it every time he nagged her about drinking too much coffee or not getting enough sleep, and in the way he always stood just inside her personal space, touching her with his eyes.  He'd shown her his feelings in countless ways every moment he was with her, and she had chosen to ignore it.  Denying it existed was easier than dealing with her own feelings.


She wanted to kick herself for her stupidity.  She'd taken him for granted, assumed he would always be there to love her from afar.  But now she had to face the possibility that she might loose him.  She had no idea if Voyager would find them in time, and Chakotay was losing his fight.  If they weren't rescued soon, Chakotay would die here in her arms on this alien moon and she would never have the chance to love him in the way he deserved.


Oblivious to her internal revelation, Chakotay slurred on in his fevered madness.  "We don't talk about it though.  You know, protocols and regulations.  Kathryn's a real stickler for the rules.  But, me … I don't give a damn what Starfleet thinks.  If she was here, I'd tell her.  She'd get angry, but I wouldn't care.  If she was here I would tell her that I love her."


Kathryn cupped his face in her hands.  "I am here, Chakotay." She said softly.  "I'm right here with you.  Open your eyes and look at me."


Chakotay slowly opened his eyes and tried desperately to focus on the face before him.  His mind struggled between his confusion and reality.  Her voice, there was something about that voice that pulled him toward the present.


"It's me, Chakotay.  It's Kathryn." She pressed on.  "I'm right here with you."


He stared disbelievingly at her as her words sunk in.  "Kathryn?" he whispered. 


She nodded and brushed her hand through his short-cropped hair.  "Yes, it's me."


"Kathryn!"  He pulled her to him, holding her against his chest.  It was all he could do to stay awake long enough to look into her eyes.  He stroked her hair briefly, too weak to do anything else.  As his eyes closed he whispered, "Kathryn, I love you so much."


"I love you too, Chakotay."


They lay there wrapped in the warmth of each other's arms for what seemed like hours.  Kathryn struggled to stay awake.  But her fatigue and her own injuries slowly gained on her, and she lost the race.  Memories of the gentle, serene man beside her flooded her mind as the feeling of his arms around her body and the sound of his breathing lulled her to sleep.




*~*~*~*~*


B'Elanna's dark eyes narrowed as she surveyed the area.  The alien sun was just rising on the horizon and, under different circumstances, she would've found the sight beautiful. 


Harry stepped out of the remains of the shuttle and addressed Tuvok.  "They survived the crash, Commander.  I'm sure of it.  The medkit and rations are gone, as well as the blankets.  And it was Captain Janeway's codes used to activate the homing beacon."


"They must've taken the supplies and went somewhere to find shelter." Said Torres.


"That is a logical assumption, Lieutenant." Tuvok said flatly.  "I agree.  If they have taken refuge in a grotto or cave, their life signs may be shielded from our tricorders.  We'll have to search the area on foot."


"They couldn't have gone far." Said Harry.  "There's a large amount of blood on the floor of the shuttle.  According to my scans, it's Chakotay's."  He put a reassuring hand on B'Elanna's shoulder.  "It wasn't enough to kill him, but he's definitely injured.  I doubt they could've make it very far from here."


Torres punched at the buttons on her tricorder.  "There's a cave just over that ridge to the South." She said. 


"Very well." nodded Tuvok.  "We'll being our search there."


The three officers made their way to the small cave as quickly as possible, each entertaining the hope that the captain and commander would still be alive when they reached them.  The fact that they hadn't answered their repeated hails could mean the worst.  Then again - it could mean nothing at all.


Tuvok was the first to enter the cave, and had he not been a Vulcan, he may have responded with surprise at the sight before him.  The command team lay curled up in each other's arms either asleep or unconscious, or worse.


Harry and B'Elanna followed closely on his heels.  B'Elanna knelt down beside Chakotay and scanned them.  "They're alive." She said with obvious relief.  "They're both suffering from hypothermia and a variety of injuries.  The captain is merely asleep."  She looked up at Tuvok, her dark eyes showing her concern.  "But Chakotay's in a coma.  We've got to get them back to the ship."


Tuvok tapped his combadge, and it responded with a distorted chirp.  "It appears there is an element in the cave walls that is blocking communications.  We can only surmise that it will be impossible to transport from this location as well.  We'll have to move them out of the cave and then hail Voyager for an emergency transport.


Harry tried to ignore the sadness that tugged at his heart.  They would've died there, curled up together like the couple everyone already thought they were, and he found the thought unbearably heartrending.  He leaned down and scooped the sleeping form of his captain up into his arms.  He held her protectively to his chest as he watched Tuvok and B'Elanna lift Chakotay's lifeless body from the ground.


"Stay with us, Old Man." B'Elanna grunted as she hauled Chakotay's bottom half through the cave.  "Don't you die on me now.  I'll kill ya."


Janeway stirred in his arms as he made his way out of the cave.  Her eyes opened and she looked up at him, her brow furrowed in confusion.  She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice failed her and a hoarse groan was the only sound she made.


"It's okay, Captain." soothed Harry.  "You're safe now.  Just relax and enjoy the ride.  I've gotcha."


"Buster Kincaid to the rescue." She whispered.  He chuckled and she offered him a weak smile before she drifted back to sleep.



*~*~*~*~*


"Commander…"  The familiar voice was pulling him from his blissful sleep.  He fought to stay in his private oblivion, but the voice was persistent.  "Commander Chakotay, can you hear me?"


Chakotay opened his eyes, and immediately slammed them shut again.  "Too bright." He rasped.


"Of course, how inconsiderate of me." Said the Doctor.  "Computer, decrease illumination by 25%."


Chakotay slowly opened his eyes.  It was still bright, but bearable.  He looked into the holographic face of Voyager's EMH.  Considering he'd been dreaming about Kathryn confessing her love for him, the Doc's face wasn't the most pleasant site to wake up to.  He surveyed his surroundings - sickbay.  "Why am I here?" he grunted.


"You and Captain Janeway were involved in a shuttle crash, Commander.  Do you remember any of it?"


Of course!  They crashed on a small moon.  "Yes, I remember."  The images flooded his mind.  The snake, Kathryn's solemn face as she prepared to cut the venom sacs from his leg … his hand immediately went to the injury as if to verify that it had actually happened.


"Yes, your leg is once again in one piece, thanks to my rather impressive surgical skills." Said the Doctor smugly.  "It'll be sore for a while, but it's good as new.  It appears Captain Janeway saved your life.  Though I must say her technique leaves something to be desired.  If I were you, I wouldn't let her around me with a knife in her hand again."


Chakotay tried to pull himself to a sitting position.  He was grateful when the Doctor put a firm hand on his back and assisted him.  He was weaker than he thought.  He glanced around sickbay and was slightly disappointed to see that Kathryn wasn't there. His memories were so foggy.  He vaguely remembered Kathryn holding his hands down as he tried to claw at his leg.  And he had a faint memory of holding her in his arms under the blankets.  Was it a memory or a dream?  Did he tell her he loved her?  Tiny bits of recollection floated around in his mind, like whispers he could hear but not quite make out clearly.  He could almost grasp them, but then they would elude him again.


"Where is Captain Janeway?"


The EMH rolled his holographic eyes.  "I sent her to her quarters to rest.  When I told her she wouldn't be returning to duty for another three days, she decided to make herself a permanent fixture seated beside your biobed.  I finally had to insist that she go to her quarters under the threat of sedation."  He shook his balding head.  "Starfleet Captain's are the worst patients."


Chakotay chuckled to himself.  "Try having her for a surgeon."


The Doctor merely arched an eyebrow at the comment.  "She wanted to be notified the moment you regained consciousness.  I'll summon her now, if you're sure that seeing her again won't send you into a post-traumatic flashbacks of her hovering over you wielding a knife."


"I think I'll manage."


The Doctor shrugged.  "Very well."  He tapped his combadge.  "Sickbay to Captain Janeway.  Sleeping Beauty has awoken."


"On my way."


Chakotay smiled at her clipped tone. She was definitely back to her old self.  He was willing to bet a week's replicator rations that she was down on deck 15 intimidating the junior officers, or hovering over B'Elanna's shoulder in engineering when the Doc called her.  He just couldn't imagine her being obedient enough to rest in her quarters.


His question was answered the minute she walked through the sickbay doors. One doesn't usually lounge around one's quarters in full uniform.  The Doctor had the same thoughts apparently, if the disapproving look on his face was any indication.


She moved swiftly to Chakotay's side.  "Commander, how are you feeling?" she asked, placing a hand on Chakotay's shoulder.


He smiled up at her, unbelievably happy to see her pretty face.  "A bit disoriented, but fine.  I'm relieved to see you don't have any sharp instruments this time."


Kathryn paled slightly at the joke, and then quickly tried to cover it with a laugh.  Chakotay cursed himself inwardly for his off color humor.  The event was obviously still having an enormous effect on her.


She seemed a bit nervous as she stood next to his bed.  Her eyes seemed to be searching his for something.  He sensed an awkwardness between them that wasn't there before, and he began to wonder just how much of his foggy recollection was a dream and how much was real.  He looked to the EMH.  "Doctor, would you mind giving us a few moments.  I'd like to speak to Captain Janeway alone."


"Of course not." said the Doc indignantly.  "When they're vomiting, bleeding, or in pain - I'm the most popular person on the ship.  But as soon as they're well, it's 'Would you please excuse us, Doctor?'."  He turned to Janeway.  "Captain, perhaps you'd be kind enough to reactivate me before you leave."  He walked into his office and deactivated himself.


Janeway raised an eyebrow.  "And I thought his bedside manner was improving."  She looked to Chakotay.  "I'm so relieved that you're alright."


"Thank you." He said sincerely.  "For everything.  You saved my life, Kathryn."


"Yes." She grinned.  "And you saved mine too."


"How do you figure that?"


She touched his hand softly.  "You kept me warm.  The Doctor said if it hadn't been for your fevered body acting like a heater under the blankets, I probably would've frozen to death in my sleep."


He clasped his other hand over hers.  "Well then, for once, I'm glad I had a fever."


There was an uncomfortable silence, and then they both tried to speak at once.


"Kathryn, I…"


"Look, Chakotay…"


They laughed softly and then Janeway said, "You go first."


He swallowed his discomfort and motioned for her to sit next to him on the bed.  He turned slightly to face her as she sat down.  "I have all these memories floating around in my head.  Actually, I'm not even sure if they're memories or dreams.  They're all so … fragmented.  I remember you taking care of my leg, and I have a fuzzy recollection of lying under the blankets with you.  But it's all so disjointed.  I'm hoping you can straighten me out."


Kathryn regarded him evenly for a moment, the muscle in her cheek twitching as she gauged her words carefully.  "I didn't get all of the venom sacs when I cut you, and some of the toxin went to your brain.  You became delirious and fevered."  A wry grin tugged at her lips.  "You thought I was Captain Gordon."


Chakotay's eyes grew wide and he chuckled softly.  "I did?  I don't remember that."


She nodded her auburn head.  "Yes, you did.  I was afraid that if you went to sleep, you'd fall into a coma.  So I just tried to keep you talking, even though you thought you were talking to Madolyn Gordon."


"And … what exactly did I talk to Captain Gordon about?" he prodded.


Janeway smiled.  "Well, me actually.  You talked about me."


Chakotay felt as if he'd swallowed a dozen butterflies.  "Really?  Are you going to tell me all the humiliating things I said, or just hold it over my head for the rest of the trip?"


She laughed.  "As a matter of fact, I was thinking about doing a little of each.  More fun that way." 


His laughed softly at her wry humor, and then a serious expression washed over his handsome face.  Enough stalling, he had to know the truth.  "Did I tell you that I love you, Kathryn?  Is that what I said?"


Her blue eyes glistened with unshed tears, and her voice wavered with emotion as she spoke.  "Yes, you did."


Chakotay's eyes were filled with sorrow, hating himself for putting her in that position.  "Look, Kathryn, I wasn't in my right mind.  I shouldn't have said that to you.  I'm sorry."


"Are you?" she asked softly.  "Somehow I think it was a long time in coming.  Something you needed to get out into the open.  Are you saying you didn't mean it?"


"No." he answered without hesitation.  "No, I'm not."  He touched the silky skin of her cheek tenderly.  "I do love you, Kathryn, despite myself.  I've tried to control it, to get over it.  But I can't.  So I've just learned to accept it.  I'm not sorry that I love you.  I'm only sorry for putting you in this position.  You've made your feelings on the matter painfully clear, and I promised not to push you."


Kathryn captured his hands in hers, rubbing the back of them with her thumbs absently.  "You're jumping to a lot of conclusions, Commander.  Don't you want to know what I said back?"


His brown eyes flashed with hope for a moment before he managed to contain it.  "Of course I do."


"I told you that I love you too."


He sat there with a stunned expression on his face.  "Kathryn?"


"It's the truth." She said.  "I've always known it, I was just too afraid to admit it.  I guess I always thought you'd be there for me, waiting patiently in case I ever decided to accept my feelings."  A silent tear slid down her cheek.  "I almost lost you on that moon, and I realized that you could die never knowing how much I love you, how much I need you in my life.   I can't keep stuffing my feelings away like old baggage in the closet.  You're here with me now, alive and in love with me.  I've been so stupid, Chakotay.  But that ends right now."


Chakotay folded her into his arms and held her tightly to him.  Somewhere along this confounding journey of revelation, he'd lost the power of speech.  It took having her in his arms for a few minutes before he could say anything.  "I've waited so long for this.  I … I don't know what to say.


She cupped his cheek in her hand and whispered, "Say that you love me."


Tears flooded his eyes as he chocked out the words.  "I love you, Kathryn Janeway, with my very soul."


"I love you too, Chakotay.  I always have."


He wrapped his hands in her thick hair and pulled her toward him.  "I do remember one thing from our time on the moon very clearly."


"And what's that?" she whispered in a husky voice.

"You promised to kiss me better.  You said the little kiss you gave me was only partial payment, remember?" he grinned.  "Time to pay up, Kathryn."


She moved slowly toward him, anticipating the feel of his soft lips brushing against hers.  "Well, you know how I feel about unpaid debts."



*~*~*~*~*


Harry Kim was eager to see the captain and Chakotay now that they were safe and sound, so when Tom had asked him to take his most recent medic report to sickbay on his way to the holodeck, he'd happily agreed.  He was expecting to see the command team back to their usual banter. 


What he wasn't expecting was to see them locked in what even Seven of Nine would've called a very passionate kiss.  Chakotay's hands were tangled in the captain's hair and her arms were locked possessively around his neck.  Harry was surprised that the sound of his jaw crashing to the deck didn't yank them back to reality.  But they were so engrossed in each other that they didn't even notice him standing there.  He sat the PADD on the console and turned to leave.


Unfortunately, his entrance had automatically triggered the reactivation of the EMH, who was much less tactful than Harry.  "Oh my…" he gasped.  "Well, I see you're feeling better, Commander Chakotay.  At least we know your lips function properly."


The command team pulled apart and Janeway climbed quickly to her feet.  Harry noticed that she gripped Chakotay's hand firmly though, as if she were afraid or unwilling to lose all contact with him.  She ignored the Doctor's flip remark and turned her gaze to her blushing operations officer.  "Hello, Harry."


He nodded, a lock of his raven hair falling onto his forehead.  "Captain, Commander.  I … uh … I just came to deliver Tom's medic report.  I'll just set it here and be on my way."


Janeway laughed softly.  "It's okay, Ensign.  Please stay for a bit.  I wanted to thank you for you kindness during the rescue.  It seems Captain Proton is not the only one capable of saving damsels in distress."


Harry chuckled aloud, her wit obviously relaxing him.  "I would hardly call you a damsel in distress, Captain.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I would like to congratulate you, Commander."


Chakotay's eyebrows shot up.  "Me?  For what?"


Harry winked at Janeway.  "Well, it only took you seven years, a massive shuttle crash, a poisonous reptile, and a near death experience to finally get Captain Janeway to come to her senses.  Considering how stubborn she is, I'd say that's close to a miracle."


They all shared a laugh at Kathryn's expense.  Her lips curled in a crooked grin.  "I suppose I deserved that."


"No, what you deserve is to be happy, Captain." said Harry affectionately.  "We all knew you two were meant to be together.  We just didn't know how long it would take you to realize it.  Ah, that reminds me." He grinned.  "I just won the betting pool.  So if you'll excuse me, I have a hefty amount of replicator rations to collect."


Harry turned on his heel and exited sickbay without so much as a backward glance.  Janeway and Chakotay looked at each other, and then turned their eyes to the Doctor.


He regarded them with a smug smile.  "Well, by all means, don't let me stop you. As you were."  He had just enough time before he deactivated himself to see the Chakotay take Kathryn into his arms and kiss her with all the tenderness that he'd come to expect from humans in love.  And then he faded into cybernetic oblivion.




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