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Arabs

Useful Phrases To Know When Traveling In Arab Countries:

1.   AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN - Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

2.  FEKR-GABUL CARDAN DIVAT RAEH CUSH DIVAR - I'm delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

3.  TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM - The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

4.  FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAAYEH MOHEMA RAJEBEH KESHAVARHMAN - If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public

Arabs for Dummies

Once an Arab went to the emergency room with the tip of his Index finger blown off.

"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.

"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the arab replied.

The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"

"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened.

So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

Unleashed

Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went onto the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

On the next railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be an Arab.

He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc.

The authorities questioned : Are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over.

The Arab said : That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.

The complete Arab

An American, an Italian and an Arab were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...

They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The Arab opened his lunch and said, "Dry bread and dates again. If I get dry bread and dates one more time I'm jumping too."

Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too.

The Arab opens his lunch, sees dry bread and dates and jumps to his death also..

At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!

The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Arab's wife...

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He used to cook his own lunch!"

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