Here we have the second part of 'Why Him?' Hope you all enjoy it, it'll only make sense if you have read the 'diskworld' books... Well it might make sense even if you haven't but you won't get all the jokes.
Four figures are bent around a table. One of them picks up a dice and rolls it.
Fate: My turn. Let's see, 3. 1, 2, 3. Ohhhh! Pick a card. (picks up card.) 'Daniel trips over his shoe laces and falls off a cliff.' or 'Daniel find the archaeological discovery of the century.' Oh the possibilities!
Luck: 'Falls off cliff!' Oh go on, go on, go on.
Fate: Yeah but he always falls off cliffs. What do you think Death?
Death: ...
Destiny: He's upset because we won Daniel back again.
Death: WHY CAN'T I KEEP HIM?
Luck: (giggling) I *love* Daniel.
Fate: I'm going to be nice to Daniel. (pushes one of the pieces on the board.) You're turn Destiny.
Destiny: Right, come on seven. (rolls dice, six comes up) NOOOOOO!!!! I wanted seven! Oh well, let's see... 'Jack runs right into Teal'c.' What sort of turn is this? I wanted him to kiss Daniel, not run into Teal'c.
Fate: What did you say?!
Destiny: Nothing! You're turn Luck.
Luck: yes! Make Sam and Jack think thoughts about each other. (laughs like a manic)
Destiny: NO! Sam and Jack will never get together. Daniel and Jack will! That's why there's a beer called 'JackDaniels' (a puff of smoke then, a bottle of 'JackDaniels' appears. Destiny takes a swig.) Jack and Daniel forever!
Luck: (puts hands over ears) La la la la la. I can't hear you!
Destiny: (jumps up. She is wearing a t-shirt with the words 'I want a Jack/Daniel's!')
Fate: STOP IT! We agreed that they would stay away from each other. Death agrees with me don't you?
Death: ... (pulls out two flags.) WELL, I'M A FAN OF (lifts up the first flag) DANIEL AND HATHOR. (lifts up the second flag) I ALSO LIKE JACK AND TEAL'C.
(Dead silence. Birds can be heard singing.)
Fate: Moving on from that disturbing piece of imagery. Let's carry on. You're next, Death.
Death: RIGHT, DANIEL GETS MAULED BY A MYSTERIOUS BEAST.
Destiny: (finishes bottle of 'JackDaniels' Another one appears.) Right, well 'Jack and co get Daniel home in time.'
Death: IT'S NOT YOU'RE TURN.
Fate: I agree with Destiny.
Luck: Me too!
Fate: Right so we will save Daniel.
Luck: Daniel is *sooo* handsome.
Death: IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I NEVER GET TO KEEP HIM.
Destiny: (who by then had finished her third bottle of JackDaniel's) Is it my turn?
Fate: Yup.
Destiny: Goody! Let's see (starts to laugh at a joke, no one else has heard.) 'Jack falls down and hits his head on a doorknob!'
Fate: Oh lord, she's drunk again.
Luck: Daniel jumps out of his bed and tells everyone that he has fallen in love with a girl called 'Luck'
Fate, Destiny, Death: (at the same time) NO!
Destiny:(off key and very loud.) Laa, I'm a little tea pot, short and stout.
Fate: That's it! No more SG-1 game!
Luck (bursts into tears)
Death: (hopeful voice) CAN I HAVE DANIEL THEN?
Destiny: No Death!... Death's. Why are there two of you?
Fate: (cries) That's it! I'm off. (Runs off)
Death: IF I CAN'T HAVE DANNY, I'M OFF TO START A PLAGUE. (disappears in a big flash of black light. The effect is slightly spoiled when it runs back in to pick up it's scythe which it had forgotten.)
Luck: And I'm off to see if my 'Daniel Jackson forever' T-shirt has arrived yet. (jumps up and skips off)
Destiny: I'm going to stay right here... I think I'm going to be sick. (Leans over and throws up in a yellow bucket)
And so we leave the God's to there work of great importance. Until the next time they play with SG-1, good bye!
~Fin~
