morris_k8@yahoo.co.uk>
CATEGORY: MSR
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Nightmares aren't always a bad thing....
DISCLAIMER: Their not mine unfortunately, promise to
put them back when I'm finished.
NOTES: This is dedicated to my bestfriend KTlou, the
chicken and noodle soup's for you! Thanks Hon : )
"Oh, God...NOOO!"
Fox Mulder say bolt up right on his warn leather
couch, breathing in deep gulps, sweat poring off him.
Cradling his head in his shaking hands he tried to
calmed his rapid breathing and steady his pounding
heart.
It had been another nightmare, about Scully. The same
one he had been experiencing every night for the past
week.
Every night he'd been going through the terror of
watching Scully being ripped away from him *again*.
Only this time she didn't come back. It was always the
same, down to the last detail, and he just couldn't
shake it off. The frightening thing was it seemed
deadly real.
He dreaded going to sleep at night, staying awake as
long as he could before falling into an fitful,
restless sleep.
He had thought about telling Scully earlier in the day
at the office when she had caught him '....I'm just
resting my eyes Scully....'. Really, he had his feet
propped up on his desk, arms folded behind his head
and was peacefully asleep. Despite his sleepless
nights Mulder was able to fall easily to sleep when
Scully was in the room. Unfortunately that was always
at work.
'Why not ever at my apartment, *with me*?' That's what
Mulder really wanted if he was honest with himself,
and Scully. One day he would work up the courage to
come right out and tell her how he felt.
"Yeah, one day." he said to the silent, flickering
television.
* * * * * * *
As Dana Scully made her way down the corridor to the
basement office she shared with her partner Fox Mulder
she was confronted by a deep, rumbling
noise....snoring?
She entered the office quietly to find Mulder asleep
on his desk. His head was lying on his folded arms,
that rested on top of scattered, open files. His head
was turned towards the doorway, so she was able to see
his face. He looked relaxed with his mouth slightly
open as he slept, almost younger. But Scully could
tell from the dark circles under his eyes that he had
hardly slept in days.
Scully made her way to Mulders desk and knelt next to
him. Mulder didn't stir. She placed a delicate hand on
his shoulder and moved it across his upper back. Still
nothing.
"Mulder....?" She whispered leaning in close to his
ear
"..............."
"Mulder, come on wake up" A little louder
"Huh?"
"Mulder, you were asleep"
"Oh" He said, ashamed that Scully had found him.
"What time did you get here Mulder?"
"Umm.......about 4.30" Rubbing his face with his hands
as an attempt to wake himself up.
"Have we got a lead on a case? Why didn't you call
me?"
"No, no lead. I just couldn't sleep"
"You look tired. Are you feeling OK?" With that she
checked his forehead for a temperature.
"Just a bit of trouble sleeping, that's all."
"How long Mulder?" She asked with her hand on his
sleeveless forearm.
"It's nothing...really." Not meeting her eyes.
Scully stood up and sat herself on the corner of
Mulders desk, arms crossed in front of her and eyebrow
raised, Mulder knew that she wasn't going to give up.
"OK, OK" Mulder started "I've been having a few
dreams."
"Dreams?"
"Yes......bad dreams." As Mulder said this he lowered
his eyes away from Scullys intense gaze. Just looking
at her brought back the harrowing images of the
nightmares he had been struggling with for the past
week.
"Do you want to tell me about them? Maybe it would
help in some way."
Mulder sat in his chair studying his clasped hands for
several minutes before he ventured a look at his now
concerned partner.
Scully touched his arm again, at this Mulder closed
his eyes.
"Come on Mulder, you know you can tell me anything.
Talk to me.....please?"
"I'm just so tired scully. I feel like I haven't slept
for years."
"How long Mulder?" Scully asked again, but softer this
time.
"Umm....about a week. Well since we got back from the
last case."
Their last case had been hard on Scully too. Two
weeks of solid work, three gruesome murders and
another close call for her. Too close in Mulders mind.
Yet another madman had nearly taken her away for good,
as if the abduction, the cancer and every other injury
she had suffered wasn't enough pain for at least *ten*
lifetimes.
"Mulder?"
".....Hmm? Sorry, I was just..ah..thinking."
"So what have these nightmares been about?"
Scully sat and watched her partner for a moment, then
it registered, their last case.
"Mulder."
He didn't look at her.
"Mulder? Mulder look at me."
He raised his eyes, they gave away his feelings
clearer than if he had spoken them. Scully took hold
of his hand in hers and looked straight at him.
"It wasn't your fault Mulder and if you hadn't found
me, I don't want to think about what could have
happened."
"Yes, but..." He started before Scully cut him off
with another raised eyebrow.
"Come on Mulder, you've got to get some rest.
Otherwise you'll be no good as a partner to me."
With that Scully stood up and moved away from his
desk, collecting her coat from the back of her chair
where she deposited it on arriving at the office.
* * * * * * *
"Scully you don't need to do this. I'll be fine at my
own apartment." Mulder pleaded. Climbing the stairs in
Scullys building.
Ignoring his protests she asked "What have you eaten
lately?"
"We ate lunch yesterday, right?"
"At _11.30_ Mulder, and you haven't eaten since?"
"I don't really have that much of an appetite at the
moment" He replied weakly as they walked through the
door to Scullys home.
Scully took off her coat and hung it in the closet,
then did the same with Mulders. He sat down on her
couch and she joined him. "Can I get you something to
drink? Tea?"
"Yeah, please."
Returning with their tea, they sat and drank in
silence.
"Mulder I want you to stay here for a while, get some
rest."
Mulder didn't have the energy to argue, he was just
happy that Scully was there.
With more protests from Mulder, Scully settled him in
to her bed, reasoning that his legs were just too long
for him to fit comfortably on to the couch. After
making him change into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt
he left at her place, in case he had to stay over for
some reason.
"Are you going back to work?" Mulder whined.
"No, I'll call Skinner and explain that you're not
feeling too well and I have to keep an eye on you. I
can finish up *your* paper work here." She finished
with a small smile.
"Good, it makes me feel better to know that you're
here." He said looking away embarrassed.
She pushed his hair off his forehead and gently kissed
him there.
"Get some sleep Mulder. I'll fix you something to eat
when you wake up."
Scully got up from where she was sat on the edge of
the bed to leave. Mulder grabbed her hand.
"Thanks Scully."
"No problem, I'll just leave the door open a bit for
you. OK?"
Already feeling sleepy, he nodded and closed his eyes.
* * * * * * *
"SCULLEEEE!!!" Mulder screamed.
Trying to catch his breath Mulder took in his
surroundings. 'I'm in bed, at Scullys place. Scullys
place? Oh yeah, the office, me resting.' Remembering
where he was he began to calm down a little. 'But
where was she? If I just shouted she would have come
to check on me, right?'
"Scully?"
Nothing.
Mulder got out of bed and made his way to the door.
"SCULLY?"
Still nothing. 'Oh God. Where was she?'
He ran through her apartment checking every room,
nothing. He checked the table by the closet, both
their guns lay side by side, just as Scully had left
them earlier.
He picked up the phone and dialled her cell phone
number. It hadn't rang once when Mulder heard a key in
the front door. It was Scully, struggling with a brown
grocery bag under each arm and a smaller white bag
held dangerously between her teeth.
Mulder sank heavily into the couch, covering his eyes
with his hands. Scully set down the bags just inside
the door.
"Mulder, you're up. I'd hoped I would be back before
you woke." Scully said moving towards him.
"I was worried." Mulder forced out the whisper.
"I'm sorry. You just looked so peaceful, I didn't want
to wake you. You needed your sleep." Scully offered
apologetically.
"I thought you were gone." Mulders eyes shone with
tears as he raised his head to look at Scully.
"I'm sorry."
With that she took Mulder into her arms and hugged
him. He buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed
silently for a short while as she rubbed his back.
"I had to get some lunch for us. I didn't have a lot
in and I don't usually have company." Scully said
looking at the man in her arms, brushing the hair back
from his flushed face.
Getting up awkwardly, Mulder made his way to the
bathroom where he splashed his face with cool water
and willed himself to calm down.
When he returned to Scully she had lunch ready.
"I got chicken and noodle soup, is that OK?" Scully
asked cautiously.
"Fine." Mulder said trying to smile.
They ate quietly for a time.
"I'm sorry Mulder, I shouldn't have left you. Not
while you were asleep."
"It's OK. I just over reacted."
They ate the rest of their lunch in a comfortable
silence, neither feeling the need to speak.
* * * * * * *
After lunch Scully left her partner channel surfing on
the couch while she finished off some reports. It gave
her time to think about the days events. Mulder had
let her see a side he usually keeps well guarded from
the rest of the world. Scully knew that he had been
hurt in the past. She also knew that she would do
anything to prevent it happening again.
Scully thought it had to be obvious to Mulder how she
felt towards him. He had caught her staring often
enough, 'God how could you not be captured in his deep
eyes or fascinated by his full lips as he spoke?'
Scully thought.
Quickly she pushed the images out of her head and
scolded herself for having 'inappropriate' thoughts
about her partner, then went to check on him.
She found him asleep again, feet propped up on the
coffee table, arms stretched along the back of the
couch and the TV remote in his hand.
Scully sat down on the couch but kept a respectable
distance from her partner. She studied him for awhile.
Taking in his unruly hair, his tanned skin and his
strong arms. 'I have *got* to stop thinking like this'
Scully told herself. 'He's my partner for goodness
sake!'
Sitting back into the couch Scully allowed her eyes to
drift shut. Today, not to mention the last few weeks
were catching up with her. The low hum of the TV and
the warm person next to her lulled Scully to a
dreamless sleep too.
* * * * * * *
'Mmmm, when has my couch been this comfortable and
warm? And when did it start smelling this good?'
Scully slowly opened one eye, the one that wasn't
resting against Fox Mulders chest. She lifted her head
up cautiously, not wanting to wake her partner, but
the strong arms she had been admiring earlier pulled
her back, closer to his chest.
"Don't get up just yet Scully." Scully stiffened in
his embrace, unsure what to do next. "Please?"
"OK, just for a little while though"
"Hmm" Mulder agreed.
They remained together on the couch for most of the
remaining afternoon. Occasionally Mulder moved his
flat palm over her back, as if he was trying to soothe
her, kissing the top of her head every so often.
Scully marvelled at how relaxed she was with their
situation.
Over the past few months they had begun to grow ever
closer. Touches not just to heal or comfort
but....just because.
"Mulder?"
"Yeah?" He replied in a sleepy voice.
"What are we doing?"
"I think, Agent Scully, at the moment we're breaking
all FBI protocol."
"No, I mean with our lives." Scully replied quietly.
Hearing this Mulder tightened his hold on his partner,
expecting to hear that she had become tired with the X
files and him, wanting to leave. He didn't blame her.
He believed that he and his quest had caused her so
much pain that could have been avoided if they had
never met. But he also knew that he couldn't and
wouldn't want to be without her.
"What do you mean Scully?" He asked with hope.
Scully remained in his embrace but absently moved her
hand over Mulders chest.
"What I mean, Mulder, is..." Scully started strongly
"...is..." She stopped.
"Scully? Are you OK? It's not your health is it?"
Mulders mind was racing, all coming to heart breaking
conclusions.
"No, no Mulder. Nothing like that." Again she started
to smooth her hand over his chest.
"What is it then Scully?"
Closing her eyes briefly and taking a deep breath
Scully said
"I want to live my life, how *I* want to."
Mulders heart sank. He moved to get up, away from
Scully.
"I'm sorry Scully. I know I've held you back, you
should go and get on with your life." Mulder sat
dejected at the far corner of Scullys couch.
Scully turned to look at her miserable partner.
"God Mulder! You can be so blind sometimes." Scully
held back a laugh, but she couldn't keep the smile
from creeping onto her face.
"What?" Mulder asked confused
"I just want to live my life, not let it be run by
some cigarette smoking bastard, or.....or the FBI
telling me what I can and cannot do and how I should
do it!" Scullys voice raised as she finished her
speech.
Mulder sat quietly for a moment, thinking about what
Scully had just said to him. He turned and looked at
his partner
"What do you want to do with your life? What do you
really want?" Mulder asked slightly worried. Scully
didn't answer for a few long minutes. She moved along
the couch to him, took his large hand in both of hers
and looked straight at him.
"You." She simply said "Just you."
* * * * * * *
"What?" Mulder asked in disbelief.
"You heard me Fox Mulder! *You* are what I want."
Mulder couldn't believe what he was hearing. Scully
wanted him. Scully wanted *HIM*!
He sat totally still and silent, Scully was still
holding his hand but he wasn't looking at her. Scully
lightly touched his chin to draw his eyes in her
direction.
"Mulder?" Scully prompted
"Huh?" He replied almost confused.
Scully dropped his hand and started to move away from
Mulder.
"Scully?"
"I'm sorry Mulder, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I
can see you don't feel the same way......... Just
forget I said anything."
Scully got up off the couch and made her way to the
kitchen. She filled the kettle to make some tea.
Mulder had got up too and was watching his partner
from the kitchen doorway, with a huge grin on his
face.
She was standing against the kitchen counter, one hand
firmly anchoring her and the other covering her eyes.
Mulder walked up to her and gently removed her hand
that was covering her eyes.
"I don't want to." Mulder stated.
"What?" Scully queried.
"I don't want to forget what you said ."
"But you....." She started but Mulder silenced her
with the sweetest of kisses.
As the kiss intensified Scully slowly moved her hands
up Mulders chest, over his shoulders and round his
neck. All the time memorising the body she has so long
denied herself. In return Mulder placed one hand in
the small of her back and the other across her
shoulders drawing her to him.
Breaking the kiss, Scully leaned her forehead against
her partners. With her eyes still closed Scully smiled
broadly and laughed quietly.
"You OK, Scully?"
"Ohhhh, yeah" Scully exhaled.
"Me too." Mulder agreed.
When Mulder hugged her close Scully laid her cheek
against his chest, listening to his strong, steadily
beating heart, smiled and linked her hands behind his
back.
Mulder hugged Scully closer to him then pulled away
slightly, looking down at her. He lifted her chin and
leaned in towards her. Their lips met, gone were the
gentle and unhurried kisses of earlier.
Scully moved her hands up and under Mulders soft, grey
T-shirt. Exploring the warm, smooth skin of his
back. She flattened her hands against his shoulders,
trying to feel as much of him as possible.
As Mulder moved his large palms along Scullys sides,
his thumbs brushed the edge of her breasts, causing
her to shiver. Mulder smiled against his partners lips
at her reaction but he soon returned her shiver when
she dragged her nails down his back.
Scully let her hands travel around Mulders waist,
using the top of his pants to pull him even closer to
her. She released her hold on his waist to push up his
T-shirt. Only then did Scully break their kiss to turn
her attention to his broad, tanned chest.
She started to drop little kisses all over his chest,
at the same time trying to pull the T-shirt over his
head.
"Scully" Mulder breathed "What are you trying to do to
me?" He laughed
An inaudible "Mmmhmm" Was her only response as she
placed a longer kiss over his heart.
"Scully, are you sure you want to do this?......now?"
She looked up at him and smiled sweetly.
"I've never been more sure about something in my
entire life Mulder."
Mulder leaned close to her, his hot breath tickling
her ear.
"Really?" With just a little uncertainty creeping into
his voice.
"God Mulder, how many times do I have to say it?!
I.WANT.TO.BE.WITH.YOU." She punctuated each word with
a butterfly kiss, the last one landing on his pouty
lips.
Scully turned in his arms and took his hand in hers,
lacing their fingers and walked towards her bedroom.
* * * * * * *
Mulder was laying with his head resting on Scullys
stomach, his right arm draped over her hips. She was
running her fingers through his messy hair.
"You OK, Mulder?"
"MmmHmm"
"Good" She sighed.
"Scully?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we just sleep for a while...talk about all this
later?" Mulder asked quietly.
"Mmm" Scully said already drifting off to sleep.
"Do you know what Scully? I think I'll sleep better
tonight"
"Why's that Mulder?"
"'Cause you're here, with me"
With that Scully pulled him tighter against her,
wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"Go to sleep Mulder....sweet dreams"
* * * * * * *
There you go! My first bit of fanfiction, feedback, be
kind...please!
