YODA'S HOOKED ON PHONICS! "HELP YOU IT CAN!"

(Yoda enters stage left, cane in hand.) 

YODA : Hello there! Yoda I am, help you I can! Product I have, solve
problems for you it will! 

(Yoda hobbles over to tree stump, sits down.) 

YODA : Product I have is Hooked on Phonics! Teach reading it will,
proper english you learn! I myself, he he he, have
used wonderful product! See how words I speak are slurred not? See how
pronunciation proper is? See how reading
and writing skills I have improved? He he he. Weak my english was until
this product! Now speak I do like a scholar! 

(Yoda picks up book, begins to read.) 

<P>YODA : A little lamb, Mary she had! Fleece of lamb as snow as is white!
To school she went, followed lamb did! He he
he. 

(Yoda sets down book, walks over to boy sitting on stump.) 

YODA : What is problem, young boy? Maybe help you I can? 

BOY : Master Yoda, according to my precise calculations, my english is
not as scientifically correct as it should be! Do
you think you can help me with this unfortunate dillema? Master Yoda, I
need your assistance quickly! 

YODA : Yes, trouble you have, hmmmm, much trouble. Help you I will!
Problem you have I will solve! Take this product
(Yoda hands hooked on Phonics package to boy) and study it you should,
for 3 or 2 weeks you should! Help you it will!
Trust me you must! 

(Boy takes Hooked on Phonics package from Yoda.) 

BOY : Oh, thank you master Yoda! I shall study this pamphlet you have
given to me. I shall study day and night, and will
prevail the illness I carry! 

(Screen blacks out, then Dagobah reappears. Yoda is sitting on log and
reading next to his hut.) 

YODA : ......and Jack, beanstalk he climbed, triumphed he did! He he
he....... Oh, hello there, viewers who are faithful!
Boy, he should return soon! Cured I hope he is! He he he. 

(Boy enters right, sets Hooked on Phonics book down on a log.) 

BOY : Yoda master, thank you much! Help me this did, cured now I am!
Repay you how can I? Wonderful this is such! 

(Yoda walks over to boy, sits down next to him.) 

YODA : Hmmmm....master of phonics you are! You have exceeded
expectations I had! Wonderful this is! 

(Yoda sheds a tear, boy rest head on Yoda's shoulder.) 

YODA : Results you have seen! (Sniff) Help you this product will! Buy it
you must, if solution you seek! 

Voice of Salesman : To order this product, check you must send. Major the credit cards are, excepted they will be! C.O.D.s excepted are not! If call must you do, call 1-800-YODATALK. That
it is 1-800-YODATALK. Yoda's
hooked on Phonics, help you it shall! Help you it shall!