Professor Snape

Excerpt from ''Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice -- the ssssPOOF!''

R.I.P. Alan Rickman. Thanks for the delicious shivers.

Contact playwright J.R. Jaquish
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SNAPE Do I know who The Master is? The Master of what, Potter? ...
You are not sure? ...
Then I cannot very well answer the question. But the Master of sneaking around,
the Master of telling any lie to get what he wants,
the Master of charming old fools with his baby-eyed round glasses and iconic lightning bolt scar,
the Master of playing a character half his age and twice his IQ, .. That would have to be you, Harry James Potter.

(HERMIONE returns with MOANING MYRTLE who circles Snape, blowing cold.)

Just like your father, the insufferable James Potter. A swaggering, conceited delinquent if there ever was one. His mongrel band of pathetic little hoodlums followed him about like a pack of starving puppies begging for a morsel of attention.

(HE notices that he is very cold. Pulls his robes around him.)
What your mother Lily saw in him is beyond logic. Such a promising witch. She could have been great if she hadnít wasted her ...(shivering)
What are you doing, Potter?

(HARRY, RON & HERMIONE hold out empty hands innocently.)
What dark spell are you casting?
(shivering so hard he can hardly speak)
Everyone thinks youíre the boy who lived, but I think you were the baby who recognized your one competitor to absolute power, and struck first!
This isnít the end of it, Potter! (EXITS quickly)