Monty Python Scripts -- My Favorites

Selected and tidied up a bit by Jeannette Jaquish

My Favorite Monty Python Scripts

Crunchy Frog, 3 actors
Lifeboat, 6 to 8 actors
We Were Poor, 5 or 6 actors
Blood Donor, 2 main actors, +1 expendable extra
Pet Shop, 2 main actors, +1 bit part
Argument Clinic, 2 main actors, +2 bit parts

Back to TheaterFunScripts.com List of Plays

There are many Monty Python websites offering hundreds, maybe thousands, of their scripts. They don't seem to be enforcing their copyright.

However, these are transcribed directly from the shows, and Monty Python's Flying Circus is notorious for not exactly ending a show but simply morphing into another sketch. For instance, Pet Shop morphs into The Lumberjack Song with no ending in between. The pet shop owner merely says, "I never wanted to do this! I wanted to be a lumberjack!" If you don't have a bunch of burly guys to follow, the first script is left hanging. That's where I come in. I gave it an ending. A good one, I believe.

These scripts are selected and altered no more than necessary to make them performable, each by itself. I try to note the changes I make so as not to alter the original (brilliance) any more than necessary.

Feedback welcome. Copyright lawyers please submit your summonses in triplicate to the one-eyed Mongol lady wrestler at the desk behind the door marked, "Beware of the Tiger."

Please put "scripts" into your email subject field so I don't delete you with the SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM.


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