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The Bad Hairstyles of Starfleet


Love it or hate it, everyone must admit Starfleet personnell have the weirdest sense of style in the known universe, and no where else is that perverse sense so evident as in their hairdos. Let's kick it off at the beginning:

Captain Kirk and Crew


Make no mistake about it: Kirk is the MAN. However, while his hairstyle wasn't downright offensive, the toupe was obvious at times.


Spock may be a Vulcan, but he also invented the "bowl cut". For someone with a grasp of all things logical, he couldn't figure out that the bangs made him look even more like a sissy than the eyeshadow did.


McCoy always insisted he was an old country doctor at heart, and you wouldn't forget that as long as you were looking at that hair. Combined with the teeth, he looks like he fell out of a "Little House on the Prairie" episode.

The Next Generation


Nothing wrong with being bald, but check out Picard's head! Looks like the result of a horrible childhood accident to me.


And speaking of bald heads...


Consellor Troi used to have her hair all pulled back in a big fancy braid. What was she thinking?


Of course, anything's better than THIS controversial look.


Worf started out with a massive head of Einstienian proportions.


Later, he tried to hide the size by growing his hair longer. Not a good look, Worf.


Here's another attempt to hide his big head.


The doctors were no trendsetters, either. Check out Dr. Crusher's retro look.


Pulaski decided to go for that decaying-zombie look.

That Space Station with the Wormhole


Sisko started out with a simple short cut, but when he became a captain he shaved his head and grew a beard. Either that, or he was trying out for the NBA.


Odo can change shape at will, but he always has the same haircut. What's worse is that it seems his whole race has the same twisted sense of style.

Janeway's Band of Social Outcasts


Setting the tone for the rest of the crew is Captain Janeway herself. For some reason, she felt that tying her hair back loosely, creating a mushroom-cap effect, would be the best way to get respect from her crew.


Kess comes from some mysterious alien culture or something. Point is, she looks like Peter Pan! She eventually became so annoying they had to kick her off the ship.


Kess returned years later with a new hairdo, but she was just as annoying as before.


This is Neelix. He's stuck in a parallel dimension where mohawks are still "cool".


Of course, the Voyager crew had to find someone with even worse hair than themselves to do battle with.

Londo Mollan says:
"What a bunch of dorks!"