The Amazing Purple Emu That Speaks Ebonics II: Revenge of the Risae

by the Blanks

Part XLV

When we last saw our heroes and several particles, Steve had gotten fat from eating asparagus, and Margaretha had left him for a Pikachu doll. Steve was dead.

Mark said, "Dude."

Steve disliked the Pikachu doll. It did not please him. In fact, it quite displeased him. He had a strong antipathy toward this Pikachu doll. This Pikachu doll was the object of his displeasure. Much as he would a small and rather irritating insect that flies around one's face antagonizing that disgruntled individual as he attempts to put an end to the insect's existence did Steve view this particular product of taxidermy. In short, he did not like the Pikachu doll. He quite disliked it, in fact. It was not pleasing to him. On the contrary, it was rather displeasing. He did, however, quite like the Pokemon theme song, which he could not get out of his head. This fact, however, is of very little significance. The fact that is of significance is that Steve disliked the Pikachu doll.

What happened as a result of that is another story entirely.

As we had mentioned earlier, Mark had said, "Dude."

He said, "Dude," again.

The Pikachu doll responded, "Pika!"

Mark responded, "Dude."

The Pikachu doll said, "Pi!"

Mark said, "Dude."

The Pikachu doll said, "Pika-Pika-Pika!"

Mark said, "Dude! Dude! Dude!"

The Pikachu doll said, "Pika-Pi!"

Mark said, "Dude?"

Pikachu said, "Pi--"

Margaretha smacked the Pikachu doll. She hit it squarely upside the head. The impact made a noise. It almost sounded like a cross between the word, "Dude" and the word "Pikachu." This may be because at the exact instant when Margaretha smacked the Pikachu doll, Mark said, "Dude," and the Pikachu doll said, "Pikachu." The resulting sound very much resembled that of a lower torso being reported to the proper authorities.

In fact, that is exactly what happened. You see, during this exchange, the random lower torso that had been strapped to the passenger of Steve's car relocated to the scene, despite the fact that a random lower torso includes no legs. Therefore, it could not walk to the scene, but I can't think of any other method of lower torso relocation. Can you?* In any case, aLi reported the random lower torso to the proper authority, which is the Head Adjunct to the Administrator of the Universal Board of People Who Are Adjuncts to the Administrator of the Handling of Lower Torsi, which is Mark.

Mark said, "Dude."

Seeing a vision of the goddess of lower torsi, aLi abducted the random lower torso, ran a short distance away, and settled down to sleep with it--in a cuddly stuffed-animal way, of course.

The Pikachu doll was still experiencing a somewhat painful sensation about the head as a result of being smacked by Margaretha. It sadly said, "Chu..."

Margaretha said, "I hope your head explodes," to no one in particular.

No one in particular's head exploded.

They all buried no one in particular. Then they all left.

Then the Pikachu doll's left ring toe exploded. As a result of the fact that the Pikachu doll now had no place to wear its ring, it died.

Sara walked in.

Sara looked at the remains of the Pikachu doll.

She said, "Look, a cookie!"

She picked up the ring, which was shaped and colored much like a sugar cookie, and played a game of spit with it. It lost. She ate it.

Sara sat down.

Sara stood up.

Sara left.

* * *

Why did the Pikachu doll's ring toe explode? Now that the Pikachu doll is out of the picture, will Steve and Margaretha get back together? And what about the salt shaker? Find out the answers to these and other important questions in the next part. Or don't. It's your life.

* * *

* If you can, please report it to the Head Adjunct to the Administrator of the Universal Board of People Who Are Adjuncts to the Administrator of the Handling of Lower Torsi.

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