The Amazing Purple Emu That Speaks Ebonics II: Revenge of the Risae

by the Blanks

Part XLIV

Particle man. Particle man. Doing the things a particle can. What's he like? It's not important. Particle man.

There was a particle. This particular particle was a Risum. A Risum is an elementary particle, groups of which can make up a Risa. Risa is the plural of Risum. Risae is the plural of Risa. In our previous part, the Risae had their revenge.

Meanwhile, a certain large hollow specimen of plant life, which will hereafter be known as That Big Hollow Tree, regurgitated an elephant. The elephant then proceeded to regurgitate several Zootelefs, three of them, to be exact. Yes, exactly three Zootelefs. Not four. Three. Zootelefs, not being anywhere near as cute and fuzzy as their name may sound, or possibly being exactly as cute and fuzzy as their name may sound, depending on one's interpretation of the sonic nuances of the word Zootelef, proceeded to position themselves an combative formation shaped much like a three-sided figure commonly known as a triangle. They started singing.

They began to sing, "Triangle man. Triangle man..."

As they continued, the Zootelefs underwent a frumious metamorphosis.

Upon seeing this, the previously mentioned Risum separated itself from its Risa. That Risa, being no longer a complete Risa, was separated from her Risae. That Risa then decided that it did not care about the loss of one Risum, and declared herself to be a completed Risa. She rejoined her Risae. Meanwhile, the disowned Risum decided that since it was no longer a part of a Risa, it should be something else. It turned into Particle man.

The Zootelefs completed their frumious metamorphosis. They turned into Triangle man.

Triangle man. Triangle man. Triangle man hates Particle man. They have a fight. Triangle wins. Triangle man.

Universe man walked in.

He's got a watch with a minute hand, a millenium hand and an eon hand. When they meet it's a happy land. Powerful man, Univere man.

Universe man looked at his watch. Universe man left. He was humming "Daughter" as he went. He liked Pearl Jam. So did aLi. So did Ali. The preceding four sentences were statements of fact that have no bearing whatsoever on anything.

A garbage can fell from the sky. Triangle man checked in the garbage can for Person man. Person man was not in the garbage can.

Steve likes asparagus. He eats lots of asparagus. He got fat from it. Margaretha found herself less attracted to this fat Steve. She left him for a Pikachu doll. Steve was still dead.

***

What was the elephant doing during all of the preceding events? What happened to Person man? Why wasn't Mark here? And how can Steve stand to eat asparagus? Find out the answers to these and other questions in the next part, in which Mark says, "Dude."

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