Summary: J/Tu, J/P, P/T (implied), angst, Rated PG. Kathryn after "Night". Tuvok wants to help her through her depression, but Kathryn wants Tom.

Disclaimer: Paramount's. I only use the characters for my stories. No money is being made.

By Daffnie (trekdimension@yahoo.com)

=/\=

In my quarters. The doorbell buzzes. I know who it is, but I don't want to answer it.

I hide in a dark corner. He comes in without my permission. Go away, Tuvok. I don't need any help.

I stand, motionless. It's so dark in here. It makes me uncomfortable. My heart is racing. Breathe, Kathryn, breath. He sees me.

Go away, Tuvok. You can't do anything to help me. The light from the corridor disappears when the doors close. I can't see him.

Where is he? He moves towards me, and by the starlight, I see his face. Where's Tom? He could get me out of this. Tom. He would understand. I'm scared, and Tuvok sees me, and I don't know what to do. His brown eyes lock onto mine.

I look away. Just look away, Kathryn...

No, he's coming closer. Keep him away! Go away!

He speaks. I don't want to listen. He tells me that I need to leave here. Leave to get some help. He offers to help. No, Tuvok. I'm lost, and there's no one who can find where I am except for Tom.

I need Tom. He's having dinner with B'Elanna.

Tuvok says I'm depressed. So what? Everyone seems to know that. Tell me something new.

Tuvok says he is my friend. I don't care. There's no purpose for him here. I just want him to leave. Soon. I want to cry, but not in front of him.

No need in making myself look weaker.

But I am weak, and pure oblivion sounds delicious. I want to fly from this place. Why did I come here anyway? My quarters are so dark...

He comes near me. Touching my arm. Offering his help. I don't want it.

Go away! I don't need any help!

Tears fall down my cheeks. Stop it.

I tell him to get out of my quarters.

Silence.

I tell him again.

He says that I should talk to someone.

Okay. I'm talking, Tuvok. What do you want me to say?

He wants me to tell him how I feel. I feel everything. Nothing. My life is crumbling, and I'm falling along with it. I don't know what to do. Tears are coming down. I let them. He brushes them away.

His touch is strange against my skin. It makes me want more, but I know that I can't. I walk away.

Tom where are you?

Oh, yeah. You're with B'Elanna. Jealousy rushes through my veins. She makes me angry.

I'm here with Tuvok. Alone in my quarters. He's acting odd. I ask him if it's Pon farr.

He says that it's not. He only wants to help me. Okay, Tuvok. You can help me...by getting out.

Was that a sigh I heard? Did he sigh? Must have been my imagination. He walks away.

When the doors open again. The light flooding in is blinding. Squinting, I see him look back at me.

I feel regretful but relieved. Peace now. I can think about Tom again.

He's having dinner with B'Elanna.

=/\=

Fini