Hej i liked your story Salvaging hoap..it is wery difrent and i cant waigh to se the end of it. I did not like the fact that tom is now kathryns son but i am fasinated to se how you are gowing to solw this.. I am always agenst raip in anyforen and even if it is in a fiction i find it afencive,,,well i canonly say that i am very happy Kaapten Janvay is nott an wiktem in my wurld..that wood almost kill me i think.. I lock forvard to the foloving parts and i can hardly vight... Hope i have not ofended you in any way with my cretics..i like a difrent story now and then and your surtenly was. See you Sammy Lee ~*~ hej thank you for the story..liked it do you have a web sight if sow send me the adress and i vill check it out. Her is some of my pic fore you feel fre to juse then Love sammy ~*~ Hej and a big helow from a sunney Sweden. I am happy you liked the pic i sent you. The Yahonalla is a story i am developing and i did the pic just after i goot the idea fore the story. I will give you a short summery now and send you the hole story later whenit is finished. Ok. the plott is like this. Janway and her crew have fond a m clas planet home they find agreabel to trade. The sosyety and culture strukture is like some off the urly eurth mytologis Greck romen and egyptian in stile. The socyerty is led by a high prestes home are kand and fair.The pipol of the planet Alastra are always happy to great offwurlders and lurn new thigs from then and to tell abut ther ohn planet and ther ways. Janway and a small securety grupp bem down to enter the Chrime of Yahonalla.It is the bildign wher the goverment sitts and rulles the Alastrian pipol they are a democratic socyerty butt ther lederchipp and belifs inprint the way of the rulling. Janway,tuvock and sevven are given a gaide to led them and to aasist them in anyway they can. The gide shows them the way in to the hart of the cappital citty wher the tempel of Yahonalla is. The gide tells the tail of Yahonalla..Yahonalla is the top goodes and ther profet to..she is the one that chuses the high prestes adn she is the one the pipol folow.Yahonalla is a godes that brings nolage to the pipol she dos nott thell them hove to live and hove to act. She just brings the noalage and compasion to them. When the Party from voager has come to the middel of the tovn the enter a big squer with a large gate ore arch if you will. The gide tells Janvay and seven that that is the gate of life,,Yahonallas gate ..the legen sais that yahonalla shuses her new famely that is how she abtains her nalege to give to her pipol.She lives manny lifes and that is whay she has the nolage that she has. Janway asks how Yahonalla shuses.. well the artch will bigin to glow and the persone home has just enterd the gate will be whised away to the alter in the main room inside the tempel wher she will acept the gift of yahonalla and the chusern one will be reliced in to the hands of her protecter and lover. That is how Yahonalla shuses her new parents..she will enter the wurld in inecens as any oter child and she will be a mix of her gardians....she will live her life and lurn all that ther is to lurn and when she dies and old lagys deat her nolage in that life will be comunicated to the hight preast to teatch his pipol. Seven give som insigh tabut her knowing abut 3 difrent cases from the borg that have enconterd this fenomen. Sheven sight a cuppel of exampels whitch one of them are a woman that ses her dother of age 18 walk thru the arch it bigens to glow and she is infolded in a glove and dicepers only to aper in on the alter inte tempel and now bing 8 moth pregnat in sted of just min bifore 18 and still a vergin. Janvay laffs and says that if Yahonalla chuses the inecen tonce then it wood be safe fore her to wakl thru the arc...the gide tell that Yahonalla dos not chuse the inecent once she chuses thos home have a nead fore her. Her gift to her gardians her parents is her as a child the gift off her love and hopfuly she wil make the gardians life esyer and happyer...the life as gardian of Yahonalla is a ritcher life than with out her. Tuvok enter the arct adn the cecurety pipol to left outside is janvay and seven...janvay walks to the arch and is abut to pas thru whenit begins to glow adn she is shimmed away in a bright ligt. Seven screems to tuvok and then she starts runnign thru the tempel to the senter of the tempel..wher att the altar Janway lies uncontches ore sleeping..she is drest in only wight sheets and she loks pecfull and content maby a bit happy to.. Seven reatches the steps upp to the alter and ther she frezzes...Tuvok is nott far bihind and he fryes to walk upp the starir butt ther is some cinde of forcfeeld prohibeting him to reeatch the capten. Pipol are starting to enter the big main rome wher the capten is now lying on the alter...the all neels onscurkels abund the capten ...it is ded quiet until the rome is almost filled with pipol they all bend ther hed and Seven starts in trans to lead the Alastrian pipol in a long prayer that she repits severl times...she teh stands turns from the capten asnd speks to the Alastrian pipol she informs the that she takes on the role as protector of Yahonalla and her Gardian...she gives them hur wurd that she will do everyting in her pover to se to it that the are safe and happy att altimes...she clames the responncebilety of the gift and of the new life....then she turns to the alter and the capten agen.....the capten sters a bit in her slipe and the shetts fall off reviling the big pregnet tummy of 6 moth....seven neesl one more time and recats a prayer and tehn she walks tru the forsfel upp to the capten takes the capten in her arms as you wood a child she repits her clames and both seven and the capren is once agen infloder in the glove of the arch.... when the light wers of we se seven s inplants has turnd to gold as well as her mech coverd hand she is now wering a dres in wight with metall blue and gold edges..the dres ahas a genures clevige withs letts uss se the tatoo that now is presint betven the brests..it is a sunn in gold with a blue mone infolded in the middel. The captens close has change to but her dress is dep metal blu with golden and silver edges..she to has the generes clevige that makes uss se her tatoo...it is simeler to sevens but she has the sun adn the mone and a silver star ontipp of it to... Seven tanks the pipol of Alastria on the bihalf of her pipol and says that yahonalal and her New moterh is redy to leave...the forsfel dicepers and the high tprestes enters..he is carinf a large boock that he hands to tuvock along with a braclett,amedalion an a teara....with the gold silver and blue mone on it. the book to have the same sighs on it. Seven starts wlking out of the room with the capten still in her arms she pipol of Alastria turn ther atention to the capten and folows her with ther eyse as seven caris her out..tuvock and the cecurety fore solov sute...when the gettout into the sques seven says to tuvock that the capten is redy to gow hme now adn that a transport wood be good seng as the hole towan is running to met them to pay ther respects to Yahonallas new mother... tuvock requests a bem upp fore the capten and seven to sickbay and the rest of the teem to transporter room 2. Ok i hope you gett some of the drift it is still very urly in the satge of creating the story the mane ishuse in this first episode will be to make the legend of Yahonalla a stron and belivnig one..and to make the Alastrin planet a good and butiful place..to lett the capten have funn with the ide of the legen and seven to se the inportence of the legend. Make the sermony of acepting Yahonalla a butifull one and seven honerd and nolageebell.. It is to be a drama that makes the capten exept somting that she didnt even dear drem abut adn make sevens wish come thrue... I have thugth abut makeing it in to two wersions with difrent parings....Seven/Janway and Janway/paris.. Lett me know what you think..maby i can intreat you to co wright it with me...i do nead hel att this stage i think it has potentials to ge a great story butt i am uncure hove to mold and wright it.. Lett me know...oh yess the pic is of the Archa and the lady is supose to be Yahonalla.. i hav one pic that is not finished yett and it is of the glowing arch i will sent that one later on to Samm lee ~*~ I love fore you to be my co wrighter i know my english is ...reeely bad..well i am rater good at speking i an horibel att the wrighting part and nott just in eng..i am a dyslectic witch meens i hava a lurning disebilety.. I had a ruf time in scholl but i have an iron will and i had one specel teatcher that went out of her way to make me gett the bacics..i have sens then ben abel to read adn wright .. I have a good wokabelare both in english and seedish..i have lurned to adapt and compensate fore my lesser good abiletys with my talents sutch as speetch and teater art drama....I teatch teater and drama to kids and teens hld clases in positive thinking and representation. I kow wher i have my faults and i hade to lurn to se my talents and juse them more than the stuff i got trubbel with. Well nuff abut that.. to gett you as en edditer wood be great butt i fel thet you and I wod make a better co wrighting teem... ~*~ Hej agen do you have icq??? if you do send me your number and letts start chating. Ore we can just mail if you perfer that.. Lett make it a J/P storey..... I just love J/P storys to...I think the careters are given fore eatch oter,,,paris is the only one home sees the Kapten ad Kathryn..and that is a man key...we alsow have the butiful capten home from tims to times takes life to ceryes and neddds somone to play with..to losen her upp a bit. She is alsow one of thous ladys that neds to be chalange and koncerd and paris can do bouth great. He is sweet and uterly thought full he will give Kathryn a brake now and the with unexpected small gifts ore oter stuff that will brake her kaprency and bring her back to real life. The katecter Yahonall is to be a godes with fetures of the Greek godes...Palas Athena..the godes of nolage and the protecter of her pipol....(hope you know the legend of her.if not tell me and i will fill you in) I am alvays open fore sugestions..on carecters and oter stuff concerning the storey..OH anf it is nott MY stoery any more IT IS OURS OK...hope you dont mine. Well lett uss beginn...maby you can wrigth down a litel bith with your ohn wurds hove you see the story.. .. In the biginting wee shud probebly still be uppon voager and show the capten recembel here away teem...Maby a stsrdate logg ore somtingells to lett os know a bit more(open to anyting you have to say here) but what has transpierd..say the last 3 days. Then we kan start with the beem down and a dicription af teh cappital of thr planet (what ever we name it to) The Avay teem members must include: Capten Janway...(it would be hard doing this with out her) Tom Paris..(will be the Gardian of Yahonalla together with the Capten) Seven of Nine..( fore her nolage to give oss prvius input from the borg abut the Legend...eye withnes ..sort of) Tuvok..( to give a fauls sens of securety and to show ther is notting they cud have don to stopp it..the capten swinges away to the alter) Ther may be other members of teh crew along...not from the exeption of Bellana and chakotey....and the Doc..teh woo d inplicate the story and smudje tehe story line if they were in teh Big SAL in wher the alter is..Bellana wod defentely nott be quoet ore leve Tom to be when he starts recyting the Prayers in trance..The Doc wood scan with his med trikorer adn babel nonsens data.... and chakote wood just think this was asum and start praying to...exept he wood ask fore the help of the skypipol....One religion att the time ok. OH AND IF YOU HAVE ANY TRUBBEL UNDERSTANDING WHAT I HAVE TYPED WRIGHT ME BACK AND UNDERLINE THE STUFF I GOOT SOW WAEY OF BACE EVEN YOU CUDNT MAKE HEDS ORE TAILS WITH IT. Well i wil stop fore now i dont wan a bore you bifore we have started I vill send my pic along sow you will have a mind note ...it is esyer to remember stuff if you know home said it ore wrote it.. Hope to her from you :::yestrurday:::....as sone as you gott the time will be ok to Se you Sammy Lee ~*~ hej i got the mail you sent with the begining of the story in. It was all good..i liked it...i will wright a bit on the week end..hopfuley it will come some rain her in sweden sone...it is geting to hott and the aier is all dry ans fell like recyceld air. I gott 2 new pic fore the yahonalla story hope you like them Is is now a Paris Janvay sorey and the art are to..fell fre to mess arond with the pic if you want.. Hej do you have apic of yourself...? I wood love to se howe my co wrigther look like. I think i named the planet Alastria,,,think abut it..we dont have to change if you dont like the name..we kan juse yours.. I lie the thing abut gowing thru the gardens... But whay did you do the guide sow mysterius abut the legends...dosnt she have to tell the story bifore janway gow thru the arc? I always thought the story had to include that..but i am wery curius abut how you thought it. It was a good thing to include mr kim...he can be jused to play of the horor that the away team fells when the capten is swiched away. Of cours tom is the one that runnes after her t the altar room. He vill be the one that starts to recite in trans all the prayers and other hole texts.(maby we an have seven explane her..her borg nolage) .. Ok lett me alsow give you whay i jused the tatoo.. The sun (golden) the Moon(silver) adn the star(metalic blue).. Well ther is a legend ore a foolk tail upp her in sweden abut alittel gerl home hade it carved in to her forhed sow wher ever she went she wold be greted by lite and the light wold help here se the nolage and cindnes in pipol. The sun shined uppon her by day and gave her the light to se all the hard wurking pipol to fell the nolage of the elders. The silver mone to gide her thru the night..and to se the dreems and needs of the pipol she mett. The stars werre ther to gide her in her choces both to navigate by to come to them home neded here and they were ther in here dremes to light upp her soul. Fore every good dead she did an new star wood be fond on the night sky. The Monne when it is full is when she furfills her good deads. The sunn is almost always bright and shining warm and clear.. I herd it from my grandfater when i waas a littel girl his grand moter jused to tel the story to hime when he was afraid of the dark. I never gott a name fore the littel girl ther never was one in the storry but she came from sweden and traveld the wurld....She finely closed her eys after a aclips. Tedrim is yahonallas 'host mother'. I am wery curius abut this carecter and hove you se her,,,home she is. I can say she inbodys al that a good gide would be...but is she to be a gide in the retuals that the away tem has to partisepate in?? I will try to do the tato as a dig art in a week time i have it all figured out hope just that my aides will wurk out. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Order...what exactly is that? Some sort of affiliation?" "Yes, you could call it that. It is sacred among my people, but I cannot discuss it in detail to you. It would be offensive to Yahonalla to do so." "Who is she? Yahonalla? You said something about you being her 'host mother'." "I cannot discuss it, Kathryn Janeway. If you are meant to discover this knowledge, which I believe you will, then you will understand. But I am not the one to decide who is to know. That is the job of Yahonalla." When the away team enterd the garden they were greted with the most stuning experians. The green bushes gras and tres..sparkeld in green chads and had a speckel glow to the leafs.The wind that gently kissed all the flovers bent a littel like in a nod to welcome the new gest. Harry Kim felt like time had started to slow down..he felt like the cud fell and se every ditail in the scen infront of him. The wonderfull colors off teh flowers,the thick greens of the tree crowns.the smothnes of the grass...the sond from the waterfall and the littel fonten in the midel.he became aver of the glowe that was everywher...like every thing had a golden corner that sparkeld in the sun light. I felt like absolute harmony...the air ffelt refreching and the fregrences from the flovers and water made it to the lovlies parfyme you can emagen. Ther were famelys and students home enjoud the gardens...they were spred out her and ther...but they cud nott hear any sonds..just thre trancuel sond of the waterfall. " Fasinating.. I have never bifore entrrd sutcha plase with absolute harmony" said Tuvock to Tedrim. " I am deply inpresed by the layouts of f this gardens,Your pipol have a great and many ritches that i can se". "Thank you Tuvok.we are prowed of the gardens and it has ben this way cence the bigining of our time almost. It is tradision that eatch new genartion add one ting to the gardens sow that the foloving generations haver somting to remember them by.It is a place fore thought adn tranqulety to find harmony.In the gardens we are all equel we have no dutis and no titels...her we are just one off menny..to give wath is truly in our harts to thous we meat here. It is offen the place new couppels fond eatch oter...her ther are no deception adn no ilusions...her you se eveyting cler..you rcences is sharpend." Tendrel talks and whyle she dos sow she almost loses herself in all tht the gardens men to her. Even belana has font the tranqquilety fasinating and she woodnt mind haven the hole day to just roome and explore this truly butiful sight. Tome has sneced upp along side the capten home lisens to every wurd that Tendrel says not wanting to miss anyting. "A real cupids nesst capten...do you tink it is safe fore a fair made like you to walk this garden without an eskort" he sas with a sly grin. The capten turns and is abut to say somting whe she cuth the playfull smile he has on his face. She tiks to hrself this is just wat he vans me to do say somting that he can then juse agenst me, how do i turn this arond on hime.Janway thinks just a sec and come upp with the perfect way to tees back. "This fair maid dos not nedd an eskort ..you mr Paris are my protecter and i am sur you wood to anyting and everyting to encure my wurteu" she sas as she flshes her eylashes and do the por littel me rutine. "Certenly my lade..i wood defenr your honer and wertue to the last breat and to my last dropp of blode." tom says and plas on.It is rear thet the capten gows along with anyting like this but when she does,he finds it one of the best times he has had. That is all i goot fore you today..i have to gove to the beatch now,,,i am melteing in this heat.. Hope to her from you sone Daffnie.. Love Sammy ~*~ The sun..the moon and the...star.. like the tatoos..in Yahonall.. Hope you are fine and having a good day...her in sweden the weter is still hott and it is getting on my nurvs now... To mutch of the good..yeye you know. HOPING despretly fore some rain to clear the air her... Wright to you soon Pall Love Sammy Lee ~*~ Hj daffnie.. First of all you are wise in nott letting out to mutch info of yourself over the nett.. You are younger then i ahave suspected...but you are carfull and that is good cep tht upp. I am 23 and i am a small prsone fore my age.I never juse my real name on the nett and the mail acunt i have is no tracebel back to me even if it is an indoor acount(mens it leds to a company). I to as Lady have taken a name that is gender netral....Sammy can be both boy ore girl and i dont have to tell. Lee is one of the most juser names in the wurld...dosnt tell mutch of how i live ore wher i come from. When i send a mail to somone and do tell of my self i am always honest...and belive me it is not offen thet i do wright abut myself....Yousely only to my felow fan fic wrighters. Hope you will have a great birthday......( grattis på födelsedagen vännen) "happy birsday my freind" in swedish. You injoy the summer and your free time...i to will be out of town and gowing on holydsy in the folowing wee. I am gowing in to the dep woods to our summer cabin by the lake.... No more citty no more cars...just me the woods and the nature all arund me.. Wacking upp to the sond of birds singing..gowing fore an urly morning swimm ...eating brekfast on the weranda in the morning sun. I cant waight to have some quiet time...I really nide it.. Hope you tacke care of yourself.. And you can trust me...i wood never pas on inforamation on my freinds... If you ever feel iffy abut anuting...tell me. Know that i am nott som sleesball somwher with a hidden agenda.. I am just a 23 year old girl from sweden home loves fiction and startrek...I wurk with drama and theater in my spertime and wright amature theater scripts... I have wurked as a youth wurker and sevrel ocations and i will give you no less respect as i do the teenagers in m,y drama classes. And I have an obligation to preserve secrecy;....it you like i can aply that to you to . I wood do noting to hurt you....ore do anyting you wood notlike. And as you are one of teh trusted pipol. You can call me what my mum calls me Lotten. Have a goood time and i will se what i can do with the storry. I do have a Icq acount if you ever fell like chatting... See you Sammy Lee ~*~ Hej pall.. Well i know the feeling of wrighters block... Do you know the consept of"mind mapp"... you dra a ring and wright the topiv in ht middel of it... Draw branches from it and wright subtexts in them...cind of like a famely tree but with your tought and ides in sted of persons.. Lett your mind lose....just gow with the flowe...I helps me.. I am a typical Inowater and motivater...i have 100005 ides and thughts aday fore new projekt...nott all are good..in fact some are even lausy...by put of all 100005 ides ther is bound to be atlest 5 that are pasebel and alest 2 that are good. Well i have started on to new fan fic....just in the ide stage..notting is relly written yett... Lets se wath you tink of it... 1. Naiome takes a trip in to the future...she somhow end upp on wager 6 yers in the future..voager is still in te DQ...but ther is a lott more pasangers then ther juse to be...most of the new arivels are small once(i love baby storys)....Naiome spend some tome ther but they do end upp sendig her back to her ohn time..and then she ends upp facing a Dead scard capten that thougth she and the crew had lost Naiome sendg as she has ben missing fore 1 week with out atrace... Hove will niome cope with breffing the capten of her tripp to the future voyager....How will the capten react to whet Naiome tells her?? 2 Wath wood the capten do if they anserd a distres call from a planet and when they arive they are to late...a holacouse has taken place and the only survivers are 10 small children... Well it is relly bedtime fore me now...My baby Blue nead some down time and my brane some sleep.. Oh yess...my web sight has ben down sens January....Att that time i lived in Ireland and didnt have the time to uppdate it and i toock it down....I am wurking on it and hope to have it upp agen in fresh shape in agust...I think we kan post the Yahonall story att your sight seng as i am ....on the rood and dont relly know when my sight will be upp... I am sending you some old and new pic ....some were posted on my sight...Maby you haveeven crused by and seen some of them....i had one sight Att fortunecitty....that is the one with the fan fic anf pic on it..It Is Callt "The Intrepid 1 Sight"...i wroth under my other alias...The Northen Star.... I do have asight on yahoo ore geositty but i have no ide of it is still upp i havnt maintand it ore wiseted it in ....Gee it has ben 5 yers...i dont even know the adress anymore....well it had some info on me as a student of Children and recreation program and the art and drama,theater fore youth.... Well i have to sleep now...talk to you soone....hope the block will gow away..i will wright some more and send you later in the week ok And i havnt forgotten your B-day..still some days left to gow... Love Sammy Lee ~*~ Hej ther daffni..i havnt forgotten but you ore the storry.. I have started school an have a very hectic scedul..but i will take te time this week end to continue on the Yahonalla storry loved what you have don with it sow far... As always hope you are fine..i miss you ...HAVE THUGHT abut you but havent quit gotten arond to mail you.. Huggs your pall sammy ~*~ Hej pall i had a brake in my sceduel today and dicided to cleen out my Laptop....i fond one of my onld storys that hadnt ben posted...i had conpleetly forgotten abut it.. lock it thru.... I bett you can find some grammer and spelling faults.. If you feel upp to it..you can corecte them and post it on your sight.. I will gett back to you with the Yahonalla storry...hopfully i Will have more time this weekend... Still miss you my pall do tack care.. Luve Sammy Huggs ~*~ You do ass you pleac with the storry .. If you like to post it i have one now that ther sude be less spelling faults to..If you like i can send you that one..I have don a pic to gow with thw storry i will send it to you later. Hope you are fine.. Maby you will enter a storry in my Fan Quest??? I love your storrys pall and i beg fore mire like a litel baby bird callign fore more food. ~*~ Hej daffnie... I know the feeling...95% off all my sorys never gets posted...75% nott even finished... You know you get to a surten part inthe storry and....ther is more to tell but the wurds dont fitt.. I have abut 3 ore 4 old scratch books that are full of unfiniched storrys and theater scripts.. You want me to take a lock att your unfinished storys..I love to se them to... I can se what i have in py pc that isnt finished and send them to you maby you have som brigh tideas how to continu the storry... Oh and i can give you a littel fre bee.. You are upp fore an award from the Intrepid group.. You will her from Uss in the next few days... Hych hych wery secret... Love to her from you agen... How abut this..i sat her some nights agow and thught a lott: I was just sitting her and thinking.. When wee talk abut humanety..in startrek we all think of human as a speches..right. Well when we talk abut the humanity of a human...we talk abut the qualetys ore actions of somone right..maby even ther carecteristics We talk abut Ex crimes against humanity,,conscious of one's humanity ther ar a lotts off exanpels of this...but when we put it in Startrek it emidjetly bicomes a speches and nothing more... It sud nott relly matter in witch contence we putt humaeti in it is somting to strive fore.. Humaneti and compasion walk hand in hand. In our every day life we dont have aliens to exlude from humaneti ...the the word humanety stands for caracteristics of a person ore his actions. What is ti that makes os Human??? Just bicours we are boren in the speces that is calld human?? Ore do we have to qualify by ouer actions to be considerd human and part of the humaneti?? This bicame reel have and quit hard to trenslate..Well I wanted to scher my thught on the subjekt..thught you might be the one that can give me an oter opinion on the matter att hand What is humanity??? Wright me back and tell me your thughts. ~*~ Thank daffnie you have a way with words.. You can sow ecerly put the thughts in to sentences that moves me and that i can understand.. I have fond an other one odf my reely oldis.. I watched Walker texas ranger some time back adn wrot this peace.. It will probebly contan lotts of speling faults but if you have the energy and time read to and tell me what you think..ther is alsow a file abut me from one of my nett classes.. Se how mutch that you can aply to yourself.. Love sammy ~*~ Have cryed ower the sad news today and i just had to send a mail and se that you are ok. I wurry abut all my nett palls and you are wery dear to me sow pleac be ok. Love you daffnie you are one in a milion and i consider you a good pall Love sammy ~*~ AHH daffni i am honerd that you feal that you cud talk to me.. I do know haow it is with thoust felings..te deap depresion and all. I have a mum hone have had teribel back acs fore 10 yers...´ She injusr her back in her wourkinp place..She sowrked in a oldpipol nursing home..ther was an elderly gentel man theat was a but to fall of a cheeer..seh prevented him fom faling hard and hurting himself..but she snaped somting in her back to.. She has ben on siklive fore 10 yers now and has tryd to end her life 2 times with taking overdoses of sleeping ads and painkillers.. I was the one to find her twice..it is not a prity tingk to know that pipol somone you cear abut is sow deprest that they want it all to end. I to stugeld with deap depresion...I tcomes ower me from time to time.. And with al the bad things gowing arond in teh world..I felal it to.. After 11 sep..i had trubel sleeping at night fore abut 3 weeks..I had nightmars al of the time..difrent cind of acednts..fom fiers...to car acedents..You name it I hade the wours time ...I was tyerd and crancy..I feld dislocated for along time.. But ti will pas..you just have to wourk thru it. Dont take life to seriusly live in the now and do ahppy things.. Se your close frinds..talk to them and tell you fel chitty right now. I to have the experiance of clasmats ding to sone. In my school when i was on 2 ywe in my gymansyum degre(colage) ther were alovely girl in the class abow me..we did stuf togeter with ther class ad her litel brother was in my class. Her name was Yvone..she was theis happy girl that every body liked..she was always happy and the best freind you cud have..Ther were sow mutsh of life in ehr,,and you cud se she had that specel gleem in her aeys that told you she loved life to the fullest. Well on the graduation day after the graduation and after the ball...she cam ehome walked in rather late..her mum was upp Yvone told her she have never had ahappyer day in her life..she lafed and turned to gow to her room...and then she just fell down and stoped breating.. It was a real tragedy...and it al semed sow unfear..seh had her hole life infront of her..she just finished her degre adn she never got to juse her expertice... I somtimes fell wery sad... But i have to belive that everyting has a reson..it might be had to find at times but if you try hard you will find int.. I belive every one has a purpes and we all have a specel amont of time to do our mision on.What that mision is I do not know ..but every life conts..and it has a specel purpes.. When i was born I was a twin...I had a sister that my mum and dad named Michele...She had a wrey rear hart decise. She had big hols in her hart..and ther was nothiing the doctores cud do to fix it.. She lived fore 3 days.... I belive her purpes in life was to make my perents epresat every moment you get in life...adn to tresur me in a specle way....I did not know i was one of two until i bicam 18 yers old and my mum told me abut it.. We have always hada big pic in our livign room of a baby..I always asumed it was me..Well it was Michelle. I May never have goten to know her myself to grow upp with her...but i know she is with me that she is confering me when i havea bad time.. My mum and dad will always mis ther first litel girl... But they to wood not want to be out the specel moments thay had with her. She filled a perpes her life however short it was..she had an inpact on others... Never be to sad ore mad that you can not se and be happy for that they lived... Tresur the moments and the memoris you had with thos ho have now moved ohn. This year I have lost 4 finds that i se is in bifor ther time... I lost 1 to lucemia he had ben sik fore 5 yers and was in a lott of pain..I know he is with baby Jesus now and he is probebly having a great time. I had a kindergarten freind that past away this summer..She drownde din a boting acedent..she was to drunk to swim and she had hit her head and fell uncotius in the water. Then ther was morgan he had juat goten his drivers lisens. He hitt a dear in high sped and dyed instantly.. And the lates one was in the plane crash in Millano,Italy. She and i had wourked together in Norway fore a year. Of cours i am sad and a bit mad that al this wonderful pipol was taken away from me and al the others that were in ther life. But I try to remember all the gifts that i gott from them insted...What inpact me meting them and bing ther freind have cnged my life.. They have inditshed my life..they have made my life ritsher in experianses.. I know things i wood never known if i hadnt meat them. You have to find the good anfd butiful thigs even in the darkest situvation. I still have my mum with me....I dont takeher fore granted any more..I tell her I love her a latt many times a day.. I have ben bater at expresing my feelings by the tragic and horibel thing she tryed to do. I have completly alterd my way od wuing life bicours of it. You have to find th ebutiful things in life..You have to have the relly bad experianses to fully epreseat the best onse. If you had only experiansed light ..how wod you know to wurn on the light?? Ore the difrens betwen Night and day?? I hoap i have helped in som way... If you fell like you wan chatt to me..Gow online on Ya hoo.. Sertsh fore SammyLee_Austen ..i talk to you the rif i am ohn..If you mail me in adwanse i make sure to be ther.. Ore you can just mail me if that fels bether.. I chesk my mailbow 4-5 times a day. I will wright back as sone as i se your letter.. I be her fore you if you ned me.. I know life is hard..somtimes but you got to get thru that to..to get to the really great parts...I promis it will be wourth it. I know..this yer has ben almost hell ..bu ti alsow have met the man that takes all the pain away.. I love him derly..And in all the missery in the wourld today..I met him.. Do hold on to life sow you to can meat that specel one that makes everiting alright agen. Feal fre to contact me agen..I am always her for you. I wish i was a bit closer ore atlest in the sam ecountrey as you..theni wood be ther in no time.. I do my best fom her.. Hoope tp her from you sone..I missed you you know.. Love Lotten ~*~ Yee i ges i have had my ruff spots and i do wory to somtimes and get deprest.. I hop you feal better.. It is ok to feal crap somtimes.. I am happy to her you teatshesr will be ok.. I know pipol might sem wery crul adn say lots of things thy havent rely thught thru.. I ges the jerks that you spoke of a boys..it is not unusule fore tem to play arond with meen djokes or make funn of somting that scers them a bit...they dont know how to react adnthey think the most macho way tey can.. Be lowd and uncaring that chows you have not ben efected...you have controle. Ha..arnt thy sow delusionel somtimes...they think they react and do as ther isn noting that has ahppend that has efected them..The try to make them self invisebel in a strang way..and when ty do speek it is to mutsh and to lowd.. I have lurned a lot of my self inte scholing i got..I atended teh children an recreation program and i have a degre from ther.. I delas a lot with pscycologi and hove pipol act and react to difrent things..The hole program is just along lessen hove to deal and met persons in the right way in difrent situvations. I am supose t be a god consler in a way...be abel to handel greff nad suport my Client..jeee well i am only as strong and know only sow mutsh as i have experiansed my self ore have the abilety to epathays with my cleiet..put myself intother position.. I will always be her to lisen if that helps..i am god at that..i can give you my experianses and som basic things that can make the situvation better ore at lest eccyer to cope with. Dont be to hard on yourself..just bicours you are a caring person...somtimes it is a drag to cear. It can hurrt realy bad..but if you dotn you havelost sow mutsh..it is always helty to question things..pipol therois..reactions..you name it.. Make up your ohn apinion that has always ben my way to gow.. Gow wtih what you know..that will get you far. You area great person dontlose yourself.. Be hapy you have sow mutsh talent..pipol may not se it but i can se it is ther... Ok nuff sad abut sad things.. How are your wrighting coming aloong? I m sow locking forward to the xsecond part of that J/P story you started sow weeks back.. It seams that the ubmisions to Jupiterstation is a bit slow at the time...Me to i just cant sem to get int ot the right mood to wright.. But then i just fell in love big time and ave really ben disconed to relaety on and of theis last month... his name is Eugen and i aculy mett him online..we have talked for a long time almost 3 yers but nothing have hapend until now. I am sow happy and contemt in a wery weard way.... He will come her on the 13dec and stay until 14 jan.. He is sow funy and sow cutte... It lock like i will be gowing to the us by jan to wourk and maby to start a new life..ho knows.. I juast wan take things a bit slowet than things have ben happening right now.. Do wright a gen and tell how you you are..I may not be right next to you but i am her for you if you ned me.. Never dowt that i will be afended ore thing you strang ein som whay.. If you have somting that bothers you..do tell i will schear n it with you and together we will make it wourk. Se you sone my Freind Love lotten ~*~ You are a great daffny i will gow read the 2 nd part as my bebtime storry... Ahh frensh poety..that is good you lurn more frensh..and you get the artistic line in thext flow--rythem of text..and rymes.. that is good and it will enprove your way of decoding every languitsh you trye... Cep att it...I my self have no clue when it comes to frensh,,, I do like the sond of it....i love norwedian...and i do sigh nlanguitsh quit good. I understand school has ot come first..storys nd other things later..that is good.. But as one of your most dewoted fans..i long gore every new wourd you tipe and make awalibel to me...lol I to know all the wacky storys abut love over the nett.. He will some her and spend one moth..I will have him meat the fammely...se if he relly is this wonderful man that i belive he is..As a lady i have to be cousius..but i do alsow have to trust.. But know i never Put myself in a situvation that i can not ecape ore find my way out of..You ssud always have 3 choses bisids the one you pick... That way you never relly get to diseponted adn no to hurt eather.Well it is rather late and i do ned my buty sleep.. Se you on the web Have a fabulous day! And if you fel like it..maby we cud chatt.. Love lotten ahh i got a rather cracy pic to..lock at the baby..it is a dudy in his mouth..lol ~*~ e-mailf från Daffnie : Here is the third part of my story (I don't know if you have read it off my website yet or not). I am currently working on a fourth part, and when I am finished, I will send it to you if you like. Your criticism is welcomed. I don't mind hearing people's opinions on my stories, and I am glad that you like this series. It's a new concept for me, as well, because I look at the relationship between Tom and Kathryn as more of a co-worker or romantic relationship. I have decided to create this story because it is what I, being a writer, love to do...take on challenges. It wouldn't be fun if I stuck with the ordinary all the time. Take care, Daffnie Thank you very much for the pictures. I would like to know...who/what is Yahonalla? Is it the woman in the picture? Yes, I do have a web site. The address is: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/daffnie Do you have one? Have a wonderful day, Daffnie I like the idea for the story (it's much more creative than anything I could ever think of), and I would like to co-write it with you. One problem is, your english is a little...rough (no offense or anything). If it *is* written in english, I could edit it for you if you want. Just a suggestion. Anyway, I personally do not approve of homosexual relationships, so if I was to co-write this with you, I would feel more comfortable doing a Paris/Seven relationship. However, this is *your* story, so you can do what ever you want with it. Have a great day! Daffnie I would love to be both the co-writer *and* editor (if you don't mind). I'm honored that you'd ask me to do this with you. From what I can tell, you are a very admirable person. Even with your learning disability, you have overcome obstacles and improved not only your life but the lives of others. Congratulations! I wish you luck with your future. So, if I am to co-write this with you, how do we start? ~Daffnie~ Here's how I thought it should begin. It's not very much yet, but I wanted to get your input before I continue. And just to let you know...you already made a picture with Yahonalla. She will still stay the same, but I thought I should let you know that her 'host' right now isn't supposed to look like her. I think she, Tedrim, will be an alien who was invited to the planet just like Captain Janeway was. She has been living there ever since. Oh, and I forgot what you wanted to name the planet, so I made one up. Feel free to replace it with what you had in mind in the first place... And now the story: Captain Kathryn Janeway's Log, Stardate 54211.3: We have made arrangements to speak with their Ambassador K'Sree of the planet Ashkira for the terms of a trade they have requested. She have asked us for us to visit an ancient temple and a garden on their world, and in return we will receive a three year supply of dilithium. This is very generous of them, but I have suspicions that this visit will be more than we bargained for. We will be meeting them at approximately 0900 hours today, and then I'll see if my suspicions are justified. I have arranged an away team to come with me, and Ensign Kim has made a personal request to come. I did not plan to include him, but how can I deny him his curiosity's fulfillment? By including him, I have removed Commander Chakotay from the team. He seems somewhat disappointed, but I believe that it will be a wise precaution to keep him on Voyager in case anything happens. ~*~ Tom Paris piloted the shuttle down to the surface with ease. Usually, they would have used the transporters to beam down, but K'Sree had advised them that the transporters would disrupt 'the order'...whatever that meant. As the hatch to the shuttle opened, several beings were awaiting to greet them. One, apparently the leader of the group of seven, was tall and had a golden hue to her skin. Her hair, arranged on top her head in curls, was the same golden color, as were the irises of her eyes. Her four-digit hands were slender like her body, and she wore a robe with a cape that was exquisite. The robe was a purple velvet with gold trim at the hem and sleeves, and the cape was the same flaxen color that this beautiful creature was. The neckline of her garments was low, and it bore an intricate sun and moon tattoo on her chest. Above her eyebrows were red jewels that had somehow been embedded into her flesh, and these same gems accented the gleaming silver shoes she wore. Upon her head was a tieara that had, like the tattoo, a sun and a moon, merged together. The other six beings, who were also women, made up the rest of the welcoming party. They were scantly comparable to their leader, and they appeared to be servants, dressed in simple garments of purples and blues. Their skin, a pale purple color, seemed faded and dirty. They stood behind their superior like shy children, but merriment shone in their eyes, which were a pallid green. They lowered their heads as the woman in the robes stepped forward. "I am Tedrim, host mother of Yahonalla. I welcome you, on behalf of The Order, to Ashkira," she said in a voice like a Siren as she slowly bowed to the away team. Janeway bowed back, and then introduced herself. "My name is Kathryn Janeway, captain of the starship Voyager from the United Federation of Planets." Tedrim inclined her head slightly in acknowledgment. "Kathryn Janeway of the United Federation of Planets," she said, then extended her arm, held out her hand, palm facing down, and then cocked her arm at the elbow. She brought her hand back to her abdomen, and lowered her limb back to her side. The servant women behind her imitated the same gesture, and after they finished, Tedrim continued, "And who are your people here?" Each of her away team stepped forward individually and stated their names as Janeway had taught them. It was the Ashkira custom for aliens to introduce themselves in such a manner, and it was important for them not to offend their new friends on the first visit. "Welcome B'Elanna Torres, Harry Kim, Seven of Nine, Tom Paris, and Tuvok, to Ashkira. Now, Kathryn Janeway, I will escort you and your people to The Gardens." The captain nodded, and strode next to Tedrim as they made their way along a stone pathway through a vast grass meadow. Janeway felt obligated to get to know this species little better, so she began inquiring about their culture. "What significance does The Gardens have to your people?" she asked, keeping the careful rhythm of Tedrim's rapid pace. This woman's legs were at least eight centimeters longer than her own, so it was difficult to stay with her. In fact, that was just about as uncomfortable as craning her neck in order to see Tedrim's face. She towered at, what Janeway estimated, to be forty centimeters above her. The servants, however, were approximately the same height as B'Elanna was. Curious. Tedrim was quick to reply, "The Gardens are simply a place to rest. Their general significance is limited, however, but this Garden is the jewel of Ashkira. There is nothing else like it on the planet." "I am honored that you would bring us to such a place, Tedrim. And what about the ancient temple that Ambassador K'Sree mentioned?" "The Temple of The Order, Kathryn Janeway, is our culture's primary place of gathering. Several times a week, we go there to celebrate our religion. When we visit The Temple after The Gardens, you will see its importance." "The Order...what exactly is that? Some sort of affiliation?" "Yes, you could call it that. It is sacred among my people, but I cannot discuss it in detail to you. It would be offensive to Yahonalla to do so." "Who is she? Yahonalla? You said something about you being her 'host mother'." "I cannot discuss it, Kathryn Janeway. If you are meant to discover this knowledge, which I believe you will, then you will understand. But I am not the one to decide who is to know. That is the job of Yahonalla." That's all I have so far... ~Daffnie~ -- Hi, sorry I haven't e-mailed you in a while. I was out of town for the past few days, and I'll be leaving again today for two more days. I read your addition to the story, edited it, and will soon add to it. I don't have the time right now, but when I get something finished, I'll send it to you. The new pictures and background are wonderful! Nice work. I don't have the kind of program to do that kind of stuff (although, I may get one soon). No, I don't have a picture to send you of myself. I don't have a digital camera or a scanner, so that's a little impossible. However, I *can* give you a general discription of myself so maybe you can picture in you mind what I look like. I'm fifteen years old (I'll be sixteen on July 26), I have brown hair, blue eyes, and wear small glasses. Oh, and I live in the United States (and believe me, it's hot here, too!). Sorry, but I won't give you a more detailed description. The idea of sending you a picture of myself makes me nervous, anyway, because I am very careful who I give information to on the internet. However, I feel I can trust you. Please do not give the info about myself to any other person. Thanks. Have a fabulous day, and I hope you get some rain there! ~Daffnie~ -- I like the logo you made. I'm having a little trouble writing more of the story. I have a mild case of writer's block at the moment, and I was only able to add about two sentences before my brain failed me. If you can write more, that would be great because until this block goes away, I don't know how much of a help I can be. Okay...when we get this story finished, do you want me to post it at my website? Do you have a website to post it at? ~Daffnie~ -- Well, the writer's block has gone away (finally...*grumble*), and I wrote about three pages more of the story. I put the entire thing in the email, but I marked it with ***** where I began off from the part you added. Oh, and we'll need to name this. I considered simply "Yahonalla", but that sounded too plain. Any ideas? ~Daffnie~ Captain Kathryn Janeway's Log, Stardate 54211.3: We have made arrangements to speak with the Ambassador K'Sree of the planet Ashkira for the terms of a trade they have requested. She have asked us for us to visit an ancient temple and a garden on their world, and in return we will receive a three year supply of dilithium. This is very generous of them, but I have suspicions that this visit will be more than we bargained for. We will be meeting them at approximately 0900 hours today, and then I'll see if my suspicions are justified. I have arranged an away team to come with me, and Ensign Kim has made a personal request to come. I did not plan to include him, but how can I deny him his curiosity's fulfillment? By including him, I have removed Commander Chakotay from the team. He seems somewhat disappointed, but I believe that it will be a wise precaution to keep him on Voyager in case anything happens. ~*~ Tom Paris piloted the shuttle down to the surface with ease. Usually, they would have used the transporters to beam down, but K'Sree had advised them that the transporters would disrupt 'the order'...whatever that meant. As the hatch to the shuttle opened, several beings were waiting to greet them. One, apparently the leader of the group of seven, was tall and had a golden hue to her skin. Her hair, arranged on top her head in curls, was the same golden color, as were the irises of her eyes. Her four-digit hands were slender like her body, and she wore a robe with a cape that was exquisite. The robe was a purple velvet with gold trim at the hem and sleeves, and the cape was the same flaxen color that this beautiful creature was. The neckline of her garments was low, and it revealed an intricate sun and moon tattoo on her chest. Above her eyebrows were red jewels that had somehow been embedded into her flesh, and these same gems accented the gleaming silver shoes she wore. Upon her head was a tieara that had, like the tattoo, a sun and a moon, merged together. The other six beings, who were also women, made up the rest of the welcoming party. They were scantly comparable to their leader, and they appeared to be servants, dressed in simple garments of purples and blues. Their skin, a pale purple color, seemed faded and dirty. They stood behind their superior like shy children, but merriment shone in their eyes, which were a pallid green. They lowered their heads as the woman in the robes stepped forward. "I am Tedrim, host mother of Yahonalla. I welcome you, on behalf of The Order, to Ashkira," she said in a voice like a Siren as she slowly bowed to the away team. Janeway bowed back, and then introduced herself. "My name is Kathryn Janeway, captain of the starship Voyager from the United Federation of Planets." Tedrim inclined her head slightly in acknowledgment. "Kathryn Janeway of the United Federation of Planets," she said, then extended her arm, held out her hand, palm facing down, and then cocked her arm at the elbow. She brought her hand back to her abdomen, and lowered her limb back to her side. The servant women behind her imitated the same gesture, and after they finished, Tedrim continued, "And who are your people here?" Each of her away team stepped forward individually and stated their names as Janeway had taught them. It was the Ashkira custom for aliens to introduce themselves in such a manner, and it was important for them not to offend their new friends on the first visit. "Welcome B'Elanna Torres, Harry Kim, Seven of Nine, Tom Paris, and Tuvok, to Ashkira. Now, Kathryn Janeway, I will escort you and your people to The Gardens." The captain nodded, and strode next to Tedrim as they made their way along a stone pathway through a vast grass meadow. Janeway felt obligated to get to know this species little better, so she began inquiring about their culture. "What significance does The Gardens have to your people?" she asked, keeping the careful rhythm of Tedrim's rapid pace. This woman's legs were at least eight centimeters longer than her own, so it was difficult to stay with her. In fact, that was just about as uncomfortable as craning her neck in order to see Tedrim's face. She towered at, what Janeway estimated, to be forty centimeters above her. The servants, however, were approximately the same height as B'Elanna was. Curious. Tedrim was quick to reply, "The Gardens are simply a place to rest. Their general significance is limited, however, but this Garden is the jewel of Ashkira. There is nothing else like it on the planet." "I am honored that you would bring us to such a place, Tedrim. And what about the ancient temple that Ambassador K'Sree mentioned?" "The Temple of The Order, Kathryn Janeway, is our culture's primary place of gathering. Several times a week, we go there to celebrate our religion. When we visit The Temple after The Gardens, you will see its importance." "The Order...what exactly is that? Some sort of affiliation?" "Yes, you could call it that. It is sacred among my people, but I cannot discuss it in detail to you. It would be offensive to Yahonalla to do so." "Who is she? Yahonalla? You said something about you being her 'host mother'." "I cannot discuss it, Kathryn Janeway. If you are meant to discover this knowledge, which I believe you will, then you will understand. But I am not the one to decide who is to know. That is the job of Yahonalla." When the away team entered the garden, they were greeted with the most stunning experience. The green bushes, grass, and trees sparkled in green shades and had a special, mystical glow to the leaves. The wind gently kissed all the flowers that bent a little in a nod to welcome the new guests. Harry Kim felt like time had started to slow down...he felt like he could feel and see every detail in the scene in front of him; the wonderful colors of the flowers, the thick greens of the tree crowns, the smoothness of the grass...the sound from the waterfall and the little fountain in the middle. He became aware of the glow that was everywhere...like everything had a golden corner that sparkeld in the sun light. It felt like absolute harmony...the air felt refreshing and the fragrances from the flowers and water made the air into one of the lovliest perfumes anyone could imagine. There were families and students who enjoying the gardens...they were spread out here and there...but they could not hear any sounds beside the tranquil splash of the waterfall. "Fascinating...I have never before entered such a place with absolute harmony," said Tuvok to Tedrim. " I am deeply impressed by the layout of this garden. Your people have great and many riches that I can see." "Thank you, Tuvok. We are proud of the garden, and it has been this way almost since the beginning of our time. "It is tradition that each new generation add one thing to the gardens so that the following generations have something to remember them by. It is a place for thought and tranquillity...a place to find harmony. In the gardens, we are all equal, we have no duties and no titles...here we are just one of many...to give what is truly in our hearts to those we meet here. It is often the place new couples find each other...here there are no deceptions and no illusions...here you see eveyting clear..your senses are sharpened," Tedrim spoke, and while she did, she almost lost herself in all that the gardens meant to her. Even B'Elanna found the tranquillity fascinating, and she wouldn't have minded having the entire day to just rome and explore the truly beautiful sight. Tom had snuck up along side the captain, who was listening to every word that Tedrim said, not wanting to miss anything. Janeway, just like the entire away team, was in awe at the magnificence of the place. "A real cupids nest, Captain. Do you think it is safe for a fair maiden like you to walk this garden without an escort?" he quipped with a sly grin. The captain turned and was about to say something when she caught the playful smile he had on his face. This is just what he wants me to do...say something that he can then use against me, Kathryn thought to herself. How do I turn this around on him? Janeway pondered for a second before teasing back, "This fair maiden does not need an escort. You, Mr. Paris are my protector, and I am sure you would do anything and everything to ensure my virtue." She said this as she fluttered her eyelashes in the 'poor little me' routine. "Certainly, my lady...I will defend your honor and virtue to the last breath and to my last drop of blood," Tom smiled, playing along. It was a rare occurance when the captain went along with anything like that, but when she did, he considered the infrequent moments to be some of the best times he had. ***** Tom tried to get more smart remarks past her, but she gave him a scowl that told him 'Game's over. Time to get back to work'. He knew that look well, and only fools would dare to ignore it. The group continued through the garden, which extended as far as the eye could see, and Janeway made a mental note to wear more comfortable shoes on her next away mission. This was going to be a long, painful walk...but she had no doubt that it would be worth it. Tedrim abruptly stopped, and spoke up again, but this time it was to the servants. "Fhyta, please go tend the flowers with the others. And be sure not to disturb the peace here." The woman, who from Janeway's perspective looked only about eighteen years old, nodded and led the rest of the servants back in the direction they came from. The captain had a suspision that the order was just a polite way to make them leave and not come back until told to. Tedrim then made eye contact with Janeway and stepped away from the group. She followed. "Kathryn Janeway," she spoke in a lowered voice. "I apologize if this is inconvienient for you, but I ask of you to tell your people to remain in the Garden for a while. We are approaching the Temple, and it is not customary to allow alien races, with the exception of their leader, into it. They must remain outside unless they are approved to enter. However, I doubt that will happen. It is a long process. Even for our own people, it sometimes takes years before they can enter the Temple of Yahonalla. It is only for those who are truely worthy of the privilage." "I'll do as you request, but did you say we are nearing the Temple? I haven't seen one." Tedrim laughed slightly. "Perhaps by your standards, Kathryn. You will know it when we are there." Janeway smiled, and she was overcome with curiosity. Was this temple hidden behind the trees of the garden? Was it the garden itself? Or was it something else? Not willing to offend Tedrim with her questions, she merely walked away towards her crew, who were talking amongst themselves. Once they say their captain approacing, they quieted down. "Tedrim said that all you need to stay here for the time being. Apparently, you're not worthy enough to go into the Temple." Everyone nodded, except for Paris. "Boy, that raises my self-esteem a whole lot," Tom said. Janeway glared at him. "We have to respect their traditions, Mr. Paris, and this is not the time nor the place for those comments. You have no right to judge their culture." "Yes ma'am," he replied remorsefully. "It'll never happen again." "Good," she said and walked back towards Tedrim. "Are you ready to proceed?" the golden creature asked. "I am." "Then follow me." She began her fast-paced stride once again, and as they sped along the smooth paths, Tedrim spoke. "You have been chosen, Kathryn. It is the highest honor that anyone can achieve on this world. I congratulate you." "Chosen?" she echoed. "To go into the Temple?" "Yes, but not only that. I will soon cease to exist. My time with Yahonalla has come to an end...she doesn't need me anymore. She needs you though, and she summoned you here to this planet. Despite your need for...what did you call that substance you use to fuel your starship?" "Dilithium." "Ah, yes. Dilithium. Despite your need for dilithium, you have come here for reasons that you know nothing of. Reasons that only the high priests, priestesses, and myself are aware of. The citizens of Ashkira are ignorant of the details of this event as well. They see it simply as a regular occuance." "Forgive me for my own ignorance, Tedrim, but what are you talking about?" The alien stopped all of a sudden (she had a habit of doing so), but smiled kindly at Janeway. "You will be the host mother, Kathryn." The captain's eyes widened. "I...I don't understand," she stuttered. "Me? Why me?" "You are knowledgable. You know many things that are far beyond the reaches of the minds here on this world. I myself came to Ashkira because I was curious about their culture. It seemed so...different than what I was used to. My species are the Zirmians. I was brought here, and I have been here for over two millenia. However, I can no longer provide Yahollana with any more knowledge, so she is seeking a new hostess. You are she." "I still don't get any of this. Who exactly is Yahonalla?" "She is Ashkira's goddess of wisdom, protector of faith and The Order and mother of this species. I, Kathryn Janeway, am the flesh of Yahollana. I have taken on the name of Tedrim, which is Ashkira for "Mother of Beauty". I possessed Yahollana's being thousands of years ago, and I have taken on the task of The Order. I have given birth to millions. You will do the same. You will pass your knowledge onto them." "You mean..." "Yes, Kathryn. You will be Tedrim. You will have the spirit of Yahonalla." "This is all very nice," she said, putting her hands up in defiance and disbelief, "but I don't don't think so. I need to get back to my ship sooner or later. I can't leave my crew." "You don't have to. Once you have taken over, I will be transformed into Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager. I will possess all your memories, and I will become you in all ways. No one will know the difference." "I will! This isn't possible, anyway. No one has ever transformed into someone else before. The closest thing is when Jean-Luc Picard's 'self' was transferred into another person, and their's into his person. Otherwise, it's a scientific impossibility." "This is not science, Kathryn. It can be done, whether you are able to comprehend it now or not. Once you have taken over as host mother, you will understand how it works." "I...don't know what to say." "Perhaps you should say 'yes'." "What?" "This process is only possible if you are a willing participant. However, if you do not do it, we will both die. My body has been around far too long to survive without Yahonalla, and if you do not accept, I cannot transform into Captain Janeway without your help, and you... You will simply cease to exist." "But, I don't even believe in your goddess! Why do I have to make this choice?" "Kathryn, if you refuse to accept, both of us will not be the only ones who die. If there is no hostess who can give birth, this species will perish." "They can't reproduce by themselves?" "No." Tedrim paused to let that all sink in. The silence was almost unbearable for Janeway, as well as the horror of the thought that an entire species was at stake of disappearing. A huge weight felt as though it had settled upon her shoulders, and it made her more uncomfortable than she had ever been before. "Why can't you choose another hostess? Why not an Ashkiran?" "Ashkirans have limited knowledge. The first host mother was one, but once she could not provide any more wisdom to their people, they had no more to offer for their people. The hostess must be alien." "But why *me*? I'm sure someone like...like Seven of Nine would be better. She knows a whole lot more than I do," she argued, then instantly wished she hadn't spoken those words. Why was she trying to put someone else, a crewmember of hers no less, into this position? Kathryn was being selfish, and she hated that. "The host mothers were predetermined by Yahonalla ages ago." "...So you're saying that I never had a choice anyway? That I would come to this planet no matter what I did?" "Exactly. Now I see that you are beginning to accept this. It is your destiny, Kathryn. You cannot live any other way." Without even realizing, an odd smile swept across Janeway's face. A reality had set in, and she knew there was no way around it. No matter how much it disturbed her that she had lost her own free will to choose her own fate, she was willing to embrace her future. "Yes. I'll do it," she whispered after a few moments. Suddenly, the weight seemed to be lifted. Tedrim smiled back and replied, "Wonderful. Now, we must go." They began walking again, and Kathryn noticed that she had an extra bounce in her step. They followed the path for what seemed to be atleast three kilometers, passing through the emense garden all along the way, until she spotted something in the distance. It was a symbol of some sort. As she moved closer, she was able to distinguish what it was. A moon, a sun, and a star, all merged together like Tedrim's tatoo and tiera, seemed to be...hovering? over an archway where the path appeared to end. "We are very close, Kathryn." "Is there any way I should prepare myself for this?" "Only to clear you mind of all fear." She suddenly wished she was a Vulcan. It was always hard for her to get rid of anxiety, and now was a terrible time for that inability. She was an expert at hiding it, but she was never able to make it go away completely when the feeling came. That seemed like enough before, but now, there was no choice but to set her mind on ridding itself of that anxiety. -- I love the story, but I'm still deciding as to whether or not I want to post it on my site... Also, I liked your touching letter that was posted on the Jupiter Two mailing list. ~Daffnie~ -- would send you some of my unfinished stories if I still had them. I kept them on a rewritable CD, but it got dented somehow (no one is fessing up to it, either). So everything that I didn't post on my website is lost. When I start some more stories (and if I get stuck) I'll send them to you. Humanity...now that's a complicated subject. On the surface, I see it being synonomous with charity, faithfulness, kindness. Things like that. I believe that because we are humans, we have given a term for this trait that is labled after ourselves. With Star Trek, however, since there are lots of different species, 'humanity' is the general term that can be applied to all sentient beings who are capable of being humane. Cardassians, for example, aren't generally called humane. Humans are one of the prime examples of the word. Not because of their species, but because of what they stand for. What they believe in. That's what I think humanity is. ~Daffnie~ -- ~*~ Ok this is the last E-mail to your old adress.. then you will get me on the newone.. Yee Thnaks givign isn not a holiday in sweden lik it is in america..ti is mor like chertsh tradisional week end to say thank adn ples thos ho have past and to apreceat the good thing ther reall is in your life.. I am thnkful for my famely my frinds her at home my wourk mates in Norway and my Irish famely.. I am thankful fo you Daffne..you are a good freind and i fel rathr close to you even thou i have never met you.. Yor leter alwys bring a litel exitment and a smile to my face..Never think your mails just drop in and are read with no felings..i fel alot of halynes withtehm.. I have had a bizzy ´time just now but i will gow ahed with Yahonals storyn the weekend(i have planed to).. And what is sow bothersom abut holiday nad vacation..I love you do you wna treade places? Well talk to you soen do tack care of yourself..I saw teh updats to the pagees..liked it Love SammyLee Lotten