My Recent Self-Mutilation (January/February/March 2004)

Please beware that the images below are triggering
and disturbing. The reasons I've posted these
are because there are those out there like me who
are comforted by pictures of self-injury, and
that in itself can keep them from injuring
themselves. It is also a personal image-diary so
I can be reminded of how much help I truly need
for my sickness.

Done with a utility knife blade. This kind of blade
is an old friend of mine...

ECHOUER: French for "to fail."

My right arm... AIDEZ-MOI: French for "help me."

This is after my arm had healed somewhat. There were a
few cuts I made the day before (January
25)...those ones are the slightly darker red marks
close to my wrist.

Done with the razor from a pencil sharpener right
after I took the picture just above this one. I have
found these kinds of blades are the easiest to
hide since they're so small.

I recarved FAILURE into my arm. I'm hoping the
scars are permanent.


My new favorite tool... I discovered using an
Exacto knife is better because it is sharper,
hence it cuts easier. I was afraid of it at
first because I wanted to use it to cut in art
class today (January 28, 2004), but when I
realized how easily I can control it and how
easily it slices into my skin, it has become my
fav. Gosh, I'm sick... :(

What I did with my new favorite tool
(upper right hand corner).

Done on February 18 after a really bad
day. In this group of cuts (there are more on the
other side of my arm), there are about 30 of
them. Twenty five of them were done at school
today. The other five, and the cuts shown below,
were done afterwards at home.

Also done on the 18th.

Sadly to say, after over a month of not cutting,
I gave in. :( "TU ME MANQUES" means
"I miss you" or more literally,
"You are missed by me."