The Public Speeks
You the viewer now have a chance to be heard. No matter what it is you have to say, say it here. The instructions are simple:
1) E-mail me,
Wizard_9er, with what it is you have to say. No matter what it is.
2) Once recieved I will then post it here for all the world to see. Amazing huh?
Hell a retard can figure that out (if you are one, please send me your "rants", I would love to post them)
Also If you want to reply to a rant Send it to me,Wizard_9er, and I will post it here...if you want to contact the "Ranters" then e-mail them...but save the ranting for me please.
Subject: the fucking ignorant corporate dick known as "the internet.
Here's a really good scenario for you...
So you're mad at the world one day and you're sitting at the computer on said day, going to that one site where you find solitude when you realize that in fact you are not really at that sight and in fact there has just been a pop-up window bombarding you...of course you're so tired and livid that you missed this little bit of information half a million Star Wars sound effects ago and all of the sudden you think, wait a goddamned minute...this guy's cgi-bin shit doesn't work, when in fact it does, but there's this annoying pop up of Cindy Looselips and Mary Jane Rottencrotch going down on each other (which is ordinairily sublime enough to bring you out of your funk BUT there are fucking stars on the entire cunt part and that just ruins it all you know...). And this is no day for porn...you don't feel like seeing porn, especially this unwanted solicitation of softcore pussy shit...GRRR!!!
So then after you realize what you are being subjected to, you close this window, as much as you'd hate to see Mary Jane Rottencrotch go, the virtual couple disappears and in a matter of seconds you are back to mindlessly filling out a form to recieve free progenesis samples in the mail. And suddenly this window from your computer comes up and a Star Wars sound effect says"Are you braindead?" ( I really hate that one, but the one that says " I will not cooperate" is much worse, cause that's usually the one that tells me it won't connect to www.pornking.com ) , and the reason this happens is cause some fucking genius java programmer thought it would be a good joke to have a dialog box from your OWN FUCKING COMPUTER come up and suggest that you try a risk free trial membership to pussyeaters.com, which after 8 seconds will be $39.95 for every minute and this will show up on your phone bill as a phone call to Madagascar..GRRR!!!
And after you say no to this solicitation, another pop up comes up with the same girls as before and different poses, with the same censoring stars, and a different address- prettynpink.com- and a whole lotta pop ups usually pop up after you close this and you start getting pissy and just want to hit the send button on the form so you can get your progenesis for your man so you can get some of that and......AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Finally, after control+alt+deleting your way into the porn-free void of boringsville, you get back on to see a blinking banner that says "If this banner is blinking, you have just won a $115 shopping spree!!! Click here to redeem" and keep in mind that you are still having a bad day and hate the world and everything in it...even porn now...in fact especially porn now, so you click the banner thinking, well what do I have to lose...and I do want to go shopping and I WON SOMETHING!!!!!! WHEEE!!! So you click the banner and fill out another form, but you're all happy this time, cause you won something and you are just plain the shit. So these people email you a "secret code that only you get" and it turns out to be "IAMONELAMEMOTHERFUCKER" and the links to all the places online you can use this shopping spree are nothing but deals...two for one pantyhose...free airline miles for every thousand you spend between now and October 29...credit cards that no one I've ever met is really pre-approved for...a free camera when you try to apply for one of these cards...as many magazines as you want for six years for only 58 bux a month for a whole year and an entry into a sweepstakes where you could win (cue dr.evil voice) one million dollars and just for accepting our large corporate dick up your ass, you get a free, totally genuine imitation cubic zirconium gold plated watch as a reminder that you are nothing but an idiot to us...
Holy fuck nugget, Batman! It's like the internet, a place I go to in order to escape everyday stupid, has gone stupid...They think I'm mad ( as in crazy...) enough to believe some of the same bull caca day in and day out? HA! We've all stood by and watched the crash and burn of a lot of the dot coms and now everyone is more or less jaded and cynical about any get rich quick deal, any "free porn" site, any dialog box telling me that my connection could be faster when I have DSL and am quite happy with the quicker than shit download time I have thank you very much.
So what's the problem? The problem is this...the cheap price I pay for a good internet connection has far worse consequences...more corporate dick. Somehow, the people that connect me have gotta eat...so they get corporate dick to pay for it and corporate dick then gets me to try some of it's duck sausage described above as a "deal"...'
And yes Folks this is why the internet is a fucking ignorant corporate dick.
Are women as a whole completely clueless as to what they want in a man? I sat for hours counseling this chick (a friend of mine) on problems with her boyfriend, then she tells me hey, if me and him don't work out, we should hook up, this is like mad good news to me because I've had a thing for her for sometime, I'd been being the sensitive friend, the shoulder to cry on, I was so sweet to her, I made her smile when she was blue, I did everything I could for her. So then her and her boyfriend get into this little tiff (long story) and basically call it quits, so then she talks to me and is all devastated about the break up (which I understood) and starts acting like she was never interested in me or something, she was talking like she had never brought up us hooking up, she started asking me about him, like she was going to try to stick with him. She totally ignored me, she acted as if the whole time I had been trying to help her out she was just using me and now that they where apart she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, after everything I had tried to do for her, after all the things she had said to me, it was like my usefulness was spent, and now it was time for us to little to nothing to do with each other. I was so disgusted. I was so offended. Why would someone say something like We should hook up if such and such happens, and then when such and such does happen, go off and say never mind or something. And so I've given up all effort in finding companionship in the opposite sex. Until women as a whole can get their act together and behave like adults I say to hell with them, to any chicks that may be reading this get you and your friends on the level, I doubt I'm the first and I know I won't be the last, you are all putting the future of humanity in jeopardy by fucking around with people for the mere pleasure of it. It makes me scared to think that this is how you think you need to act to be successful, I wash my hands of all of you.
Subject: Bombs in School.
How come everytime there is a "national tragedy" such as school shootings, something has to happen at my school that further limits my personal rights and safety? Now many of you may be thinking:
"What is this guy doing? PEOPLE ARE DIEING!"
Yes, but sometimes the school system is so stupid it bothers me. For example:
We used to have this yearly bomb threat ordeal at our school. Interesting story on how it started, but that does not matter; never were there any bombs, and we got to go outside and take a break for an hour or so as the authorities searched the building. No big deal; students liked it except for the Texas heat, but I am sure they were willing to put up with that. After the incident in Arkansas, we recieved a bomb threat. I was all ready up out of my seat when over the PA system boomed the voice of our principle some gibberish along the following lines:
"We have just recieved a bomb threat. Stay inside the building, you will be safer in here than outside because the structure of the school will protect you."
Now, I know as well as you know that this is not true. The building can certainly colapse on top of me if the bomb went off just a couple doors down the hall. Think OAKLAHOMA CITY BOMBNG! I have no clue how big that bomb was physically, but it was able to bring down the building. I would rather be running around dodging random bits of flying debris and take my chances on getting hit over sitting idly by, waiting to be buried by that same debris. And what if the bomb was not physically large? I know that police in New York call out the bomb squad when they see something the size of a suitcase. I assume that a bomb that small can off at least 2 or 3 rooms. Certainly I thought our principle knew better too, being a war vet and all. Blatent lieing bothers me.
"Teachers, search your rooms for suspicious packages."
Now, that, my readers, is a trip. If you made a bomb, would you make it look so "suspicious" that a simple glance around a room would identify it? No. I would probably hide is among the many cardboard boxes strewn across campus. Maybe even in a locker. Why leave it in a place that isn't hard to find? How about above the ceiling tiles? The more I think about what happened, the stupider school sounds.