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Episodes: (Click on name to jump to episode)
285 South
Skin and Bones
Summer of '47
The End of the World
Cry Your Name
Departure
Michael, the Guys and the Great Snapple Caper
Significant Others
Behind the Music

1. Teacher: Papas with Cooney, De Luca with...Guerin.
   Maria: Wait, did you just say Guerin?
   Teacher: Yes, Michael Guerin.
   Maria: No, no, I'm sorry. That's unacceptable.
   Teacher: I beg your pardon?
   Maria: I mean, the guy's not even here.
   Teacher: Well, then it'll be like true field work, tracking down your subject. Trussell with Wolf.
   Maria: I mean, this is like cruel and unusual education. I mean, aren't there, like, Geneva convention rules against this sort of thing?
   
2. Maria: He's stealing my car...you're stealing my car.
   Michael: I'm borrowing your car. Now get out.
   Maria: You're telling me to get out? This is my car. Actually, it's my mother's car, and if anything happens to it, life as I know it will be over. So, wherever it goes, i go.
   Michael: Fine. You had your chance.
   Maria: Oh, my God. You're kidnapping me. No, wait, you're abducting me!
   
3. Maria: You...you are going to be arrested.
   Michael: For driving to Texas?
   Maria: Across a state line with a minor? In a stolen vehicle? There are laws, you know. And that cell phone you just tossed? Vandalism of personal property. God, I just...I knew you had criminal tendencies. You even drive erratically.
   Michael: What's exactly wrong with my driving?
   Maria: I told you not to go over 80. The engine won't take it.
   Michael: Maybe it's just tired of hearing you talk.
   
4. Michael: I don't suppose we could share?
   Maria: Not if you were the last alien on Earth.
   
5. Maria: Aah!
   Liz: Maria.
   Maria: What are you guys doing here?
   Liz: Um...well, we thought you were in trouble, but...yeah...I guess we're wrong.
   Maria: No no. You don't think--I mean, that is, like so unreal! I mean...come on, would you tell them?
   Michael: Come on, honey, we don't have to lie.
   (Maria gasps in disbelief and starts to hit Michael)
   Isabel: I believe you. The day Michael calls anybody honey, it's all over.
   

1. Promo to Skin and Bones
2. MAX (voiceover): Well, I guess the natural place to start is...that I'm an alien...a hybrid, actually. You know, human DNA mixed with alien DNA...that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. My sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills. We didn't know where we came from, who sent us, or why. For the past 10 years, we've been aging much like humans, but clearly there are differences. From the beginning we had the instinct to keep this to ourselves, to hide in plain sight. Then one day last fall, everything changed.
   You broke the bottle when you fell. You spilled ketchup on yourself. Don't say anything, please?
   The 6 of us were connected by the secret we shared. There was also Tess, a hybrid like us...part human, part alien. And then there was Nasedo. He's a shapeshifter...which means he can take on any human form, a skill that could really come in handy since there were people out there who would do anything to find us. And if they found us, there was no limit to what they would do. Fortunately, we used Nasedo's abilities to infiltrate the special unit of the FBI. Of course we had skills of our own. And as much as we tried to convince ourselves that we could live a normal life...
   MICHAEL: Stop!
   MAX (voiceover): We couldn't. To save our lives, Michael killed Agent Pierce of the FBI. And no matter how justified it was, the truth is...we killed a man...and that wasn't easy...for any of us.


3. MAX: No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin.
   MICHAEL: Our fearless leader.

NASEDO: Sheriff Valenti, welcome to the ever-burgeoning "I know an alien" club. You called me here. I assume it's important.
MAX: How much do you know about Congressman Whitaker?
NASEDO: I know her intimately.
TESS: Intimately?
NASEDO: To borrow a rather crude human colloquialism, I've been diddling her all summer.
MARIA: I hope he's using birth control.
NASEDO: I must admit, I've grown awfully fond of the foul temptress. It's a shame I may now have to kill her.
MAX: Well, Pierce's bones have been dug up, and apparently some of them have been fused in a way that is completely unexplainable by human terms.
NASEDO: Tell me how far this information has been leaked. I need to extinguish every human who has this information.
ALEX: I'm going to assume present company is excluded?

SHERIFF: Look, I know it's hard for you to be locked up like this.
MICHAEL: It's not that bad. I killed a man. Maybe this is where I should be.
SHERIFF: Michael, you killed the man who killed Agent Topolsky and killed Agent Stevens and who knows how many others, and he was just about to kill me.
MICHAEL: Yeah. I've told myself all those things, but I still killed a man. And the thing that I keep thinking about is that what happened is just the tip of the iceberg. I've been trying to prepare myself for what's about to go down, and I have no idea what to do. I'm cracking rocks. I have no clue who or what we're up against. And I've been so pissed off at Max for not leading, but he doesn't know any more than I do. None of us do. We're all in the dark waiting to be attacked, and all I can think about is what if I'm not strong enough?

MARIA: So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed.
MICHAEL: I thought we agreed that it was over between us.
MARIA: You agreed, and then you avoided me the entire summer.
MICHAEL: Well, it is.
MARIA: Why? 'Cause you're destined to be with Isabel?
MICHAEL: No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him.
MARIA: Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them.
MICHAEL: Well, be that as it may...
MARIA: I miss you, Michael.
MICHAEL: I know, but don't.

1. Promo to "Summer of '47"
2. Hal: Hey, you listening to me?! What's with that hair of yours, anyway?
   Michael: The chicks dig it, grandpa.
   Hal: In my day we wore it high and tight. You know, classic, respectful.
   Michael: Really? I thought you said you were all about trouble?
   
3. Betty: You're one of the guys at the debris field.
   Hal: You're that little lady who got hauled off by the cops. No cuff marks on your pretty wrists, I see.
   Betty: Oh, I prefer the term "police escort". Betty Osorio. Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
   Hal: Hal Carver. No comment.
   Betty: How about a drink then?
   Hal: How about your phone number?
   Betty: Hmmm...something tells me you don't call.
   Hal: Something tells me this time I will.
   
5. Michael: I need a favor.
   Maria: First off, phone protocol works like this. Ready? Messenger leaves message. Then messengee calls back unless messengee is deathly ill, grounded, or just a jerk.
   Michael: Look, I came in here because...
   Maria: I would like to think that I've been patient, the epitome of restraint...but for God's sake, Michael, she's not even a real blonde.
   Michael: Who?
   Maria: Let me set the scene for you, all right? You. Courtney. The dark alley back there. Me controlling the urge to spew.
   Michael: Look, this whole jealousy thing is getting a little tired. Just accept the fact that I'm an alien. You're human. Our lives do not mix.
   Maria: Well, you made the exception for bottle job and old man river out there.
   Michael: Ok, that man out there knows stuff about the '47 crash. All right? Stuff specific to me. Ok. So I want to take him around. I want to jog his memory, and to do that, I need the Jetta.
   Maria: I'm sorry. When humans need rides, they take Jettas. And when aliens need rides, they take spaceships. Oh! Find one.
   Michael: Hey, Maria...hanging out with this guy is gonna help him a lot more than it's gonna help me. Can't you just make an old guy's day?
   Maria: You know what? I am only doing this because I forever regretted not saying good-bye to Breepa De Luca before he died.
   Michael: Put lunch on my tab, and don't forget the senior discount.
   Maria: Jerk!
   
6. Betty: Just hear her out.
   Hal: I came here because I thought this was a date.
   Betty: Carver, I'm flattered, but would you just see if your stories match?
   Hal: Why don't you write this in that notepad of yours? It was a weather balloon.
   Betty: You don't believe that. And if extraterrestrials landed in Roswell, Americans have the right to know.
   Hal: You're not patriotic. You are just hard up for a front-page headline.
   Betty: That is no way to speak to a lady.
   Hal: Well, you point one out and I'll watch my language.
   
7. Betty: Sorry I was late. That damned thing has a mind of its own.
   Hal: I could take a look.
   Betty: Already fixed it. Cars are like men, Carver. Give their cable a little jiggle and they'll be fine 'til morning.
   Hal: I didn't know you were so handy, Osorio.
   
8. Michael: My friend had one in her car. She's a little bit of a drinker.
   Hal: That firecracker from the diner?
   Michael: : Yeah.
   Hal: Are you two going steady?
   Michael: : No. It's nothing. I mean, well, I mean...whatever there was, it's over.
   Hal: Not from where I was sitting. You know, I'd...um, I'd never been in love before, but...but on that night beneath the stars and with that woman...and with all that we knew...I should have kissed her then.
   Michael: : Why? What happened to Betty?
   Hal: Got another beer?
   
9. Hal: That night, I packed my things and never came back. The base was on full alert. There was no way anybody or anything else could have escaped...and that's the story of Hal Carver. The only time I ever stuck my neck out to save anything...and it all went to hell.
   (Michael reaches out his hand and blows up the bottles from a distance)
   Michael: You saved me.
   
10. Michael: Meet the reason I haven't been returning your phone calls.
    Maria: : My God. What is it?
    Michael: : I don't know...but eventually I'm hoping we can find out.
    Maria: : "We?" You didn't even choke on that.
    Michael: : Well, today I had a little history lesson, and here's the thing...I owe more to you than I can imagine. To Liz, Alex, Valenti, to some old guy named Hal who lives in Tampa and plays shuffleboard. I never realized it...so here it is.
    (Michael: holds out both hands to Maria: )
    Michael: : Thank you.
    (Maria: places her hands in Michael: 's)
    Maria: : You're welcome.
    

1. Promo to "The End of the World"
2. Future Max: Thank you.
   Future Liz: For what?
   Future Max: For every kiss, every smile.
   Future Liz: Max, I don't have any regrets.
   
3. Alex: So Isabel and I will be . . . ?
   Madame Vivian: You are a wonderful friend, her foundation. You will never have a carnal relationship.
   Alex: Uh, come on, Madame Vivian. There’s got to be something in those leaves. A few moments of pure lust. Anything. (sighs) The story of my life.
   
4. Psychic: This boy...very volatile.
   Maria: That's good for sex, right?
   Psychic: This relationship will not endure.
   Maria: Look, lady, I am not necessarily looking to tie the knot myself, but do I at least have a few months?
   Psychic: 48 hours, tops.
   Maria: 48 hours? Ok, are they a good 48 hours?
   
5. Psychic: I've never seen the cards fall like this before. The boy, he's different.
   Liz: Yeah.
   Psychic: He's very important, this boy. A leader.
   Liz: Yeah, he has this whole other destiny...one that doesn't include me.
   Psychic: No. He chooses love.
   Liz: What?
   Psychic: He chooses you.
   Liz: No, no, no, no, see, that's impossible.
   Psychic: The reading is clear. You marry your true love. You have happiness.
   
6. Liz: No, you're not Max, ok? You...you're like a shapeshifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like, the ability to look like Max with that beard and those...and those grey hairs.
   Future Max: Do you really see grey?
   Liz: This isn't funny, ok?
   
7. Future Max: I need you to help me fall out of love with you.
   
8. Maria: No, no, no. I found a picture of you, Max, and Isabel in her locker, and your face was circled.
   Michael: No way.
   Courtney (from bathroom): Maybe you should put on some tunes, baby.
   Maria: Bastard.
   Michael: I had to get her out of the room somehow.
   Michael (to Courtney): Good idea, baby.
   Maria: I...I'm gonna retch.
   Michael: Ok, I've got the situation under control, so get out of here...seriously.
   Maria: If you lay one hand on her...
   Michael: No one is laying anything on anyone.
   Courtney: By the way, you are an amazing kisser.
   Maria: You obviously came here for 2 reasons, huh?
   Courtney: Is somebody here?
   Maria: Um...here. You left that at work. And umm...remember how I said we had 48 hours? That was...that was way too optimistic. We're done.
   
9. Future Max: We eloped. We were 19.
   Liz: We were 19? Wow, that is so young. That is too young.
   Future Max: That's what I said, but you said that Romeo and Juliet were even younger than us, so we drove to Vegas. Got married at the Elvis chapel. Congratulations, kids.
   Liz: So we didn't have a real wedding.
   Future Max: Oh, we had a great wedding. You called Maria, Michael, Isabel, and Alex, and had them meet us halfway. We spent the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix, and at the end of the night, "I Shall Believe" came on the radio.
   Liz: I love that song.
   Future Max: I know. Everyone else was exhausted, but not us. Oh, we danced...just the two of us. And ever since then, it's been our song.
   
10. Maria: Granted, Michael is the world's worst boyfriend. I know that. You know that. America knows that.
    
11. Alex: Do you have any idea what you’ve done to Maria?
    Michael: Dude, it was a misunderstanding.
    Alex: Look I don’t care that you have 30 pounds on me or, or that you can kill me with some twisted alien power. I will not let you treat her like that. I—I don’t care that Isabel treats me like crap, but no one does that to Maria, all right? She’s not just some girl.
    Michael: You’ve got to believe me. I’ve got nothing going –
    Courtney: Knock, knock.
    Michael: You realize that you’ve just risked your life?
    Alex: Yeah.
    Michael: You’re a really good friend, man.
    Alex: Call me that again and I’ll really kick your ass.
    
12. Liz: Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you.
    
13. Liz: Could you dance with me?
    Future Max: What?
    Liz: I wanna have my wedding dance.
    

1. Promo to "Cry Your Name"
2. Maria: I told you. Prom sucks. Take Liz for example. She totally thought that prom would be the perfect opportunity to rekindle things with Max. No. And Kyle. He thought he’d finally get closer to Tess, as in a lot closer, until he realized that his feelings for Tess were a little more sibling than sex kitten. Strike two. But, there is a silver lining to this gray cloud of prom disasters - Alex. He came back from Sweden a new man and Isabel finally noticed. And I think with a little help from Liz and myself those two crazy kids might actually find true love.
3. Maria: I’m so proud of you.
   Alex: This blows.
   Maria: Well at least you have the upper hand.
   Liz: Yeah, you’ve got her chasing you. Who would have thought that?
   Maria: Not me.
   Alex: She’s thinking about me. Even now she’s on her bed and she’s thinking about me.
   Maria: Okay, so are we done with this Isabel thing? All right, Max kissed Tess.
   Liz: Maria, let’s go to work.
   Maria: Okay.
   Liz: Come on. Alex, now Alex, you be strong! Okay?
   Maria: Strong, strong, strong.
   Liz: You be strong. Okee? Goodbye.
   Alex: Strong. Stron..yeah.
   
4. Max: You are so full of it.
   Michael: I just call it like I see it.
   Max: You can’t compare The Matrix with Crouching Tiger.
   Michael: Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung fu.
   Max: First of all crapping…Crouching Tiger is actually about something: Love, honor, duty.
   Michael: Matrix is about something: Illusion, reality, gunfire.
   Max: You simply cannot prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh. You can’t. I won’t let you.
   
5. Valenti: There’s been an accident. Alex is dead.
6. Valenti: Listen. Uh…This may not seem like very much right now, but there’s something I’d like you to know. Alex died yesterday. He didn’t die today, and I don’t want you remembering it as if it happened today. All right? Happy birthday son.
7. Isabel: Oh my god! Oh Alex! Oh my god, I thought you were dead!
   Alex: Oh, no no no. Listen that was just…that was just a big misunderstanding. Everything’s fine. All right?
   Isabel: Okay.
   Alex: Okay. Sit down, sit down, sit down.
   Alex: So, how are you doing?
   Isabel: Fine. Fine now.
   Alex: Good. So have you made any decision about college yet?
   Isabel: Yeah, I think I’m going to stay. Graduate with Max and you guys.
   Alex: Good. Good. Because I’d miss you if you were gone.
   Isabel: Yeah, I’d miss you too. I just…I just don’t want to be away from you anymore.
   Alex: Aww, well, no worries about that. I’m not going anywhere…except band practice. See, I’m running late and the guys are waitin’ for me. So, I gotta jet. But I’m gonna see you tonight, right?
   Isabel: Yeah, yeah.
   Alex: (while kissing Isabel) Okay. (gets up to leave) I will see you later. Isabel is sleeping in her bedroom.
   Mrs. Evans: Isabel. Isabel, wake up honey.
   Isabel: Oh my god. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
   Mrs. Evans: (sympathetic tone) Ohh sweetheart. Ohh.
   
8. Mrs. Evans: Nobody knew where he was going.
   Isabel: But he wanted to stay home. If I hadn’t called him and put the idea in his head…He…He would have never gotten in the car. He would have never gotten in the car!
   Mrs. Evans: Isabel it was an accident. Honey, it’s tragic and it’s painful and it’s something that none of us are ever gonna forget. But it’s not your fault.
   Isabel: I can’t stop it. I can’t stop thinking that the people I love and care about, they end up hurt or dead.
   Mrs. Evans: Oh honey. I wish…I wish I had some kind of special powers or something to make all of this go away for you.
   Isabel: Special powers don’t help.
   
9. Max: That’s crazy.
   Liz: (pacing around the room) Yes. I know. That is what I said.
   Max: Alex would never do something like that…
   Liz: No! Of course not! It’s ridiculous. And…you know what’s gonna happen…Hanson is gonna go and he’s going to put that report and it’s going to be in the newspaper for every single person to read. All of his friends, his family.
   Max: (gets up) No.
   Liz: Alex Whitman’s death was declared a suicide yesterday by the Roswell Sheriff’s Department!
   Max: We won’t let that happen. I’ll…I’ll talk to Valenti. He’s just jumping to conclusions.
   Liz: Just the fact that his parents have to go through this…this nightmare. They do not need to think that they’re son…(sits down and begins to cry slightly)
   Max: (sits down next to Liz) Liz, I’ll handle it.
   Liz: Thank you.
   
10. Amy: Oh…no more tea. Thank you Michael.
    Michael: It’s not tea…hot buttered rum. Help you sleep. My foster dad taught me to mix drinks before I could ride a bike. He called it job training. If all else fails I could always tend bar.
    Amy: (chuckling) Oh what a charming man. Uh, is Maria still asleep?
    Michael: Yeah, she keeps kickin’ off the covers though.
    Amy: Mmm, she always does do that. You know, I think this is the most time you’ve ever spent in my house.
    Michael: Yeah, I…I could leave if you want. Just, it’s nice to be around people.
    Amy: No, no. That’s not what I mean at all. Uh, what I’m trying to say is that you’ve really been great for my family. And it’s a wonderful thing to see my daughter loved. And I would like to see a lot more of that. And as far as I’m concerned you’ll always be welcome in this house.
    Michael: Thank you.
    Amy: Welcome on the couch.
    Michael: Right.
    Amy: (takes a sip of her drink) Yeah.
    
11. Isabel: You’re not really here. Are you?
    Alex: No. You’re talking in your sleep.
    Isabel: God I wish I could really talk to you Alex.
    Alex: I’m the next best thing. What do you want to say?
    Isabel: That I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
    Alex: Me too.
    Isabel: I never should have called you.
    Alex: I called you. Remember?
    Isabel: I never should’ve brought you into any of this.
    Alex: Any of what?
    Isabel: (bows her head) Me. My life.
    Alex: You think being with you had something to do with what happened?
    Isabel: Yes, I do. I don’t know how but…God, If you hadn’t been involved with me.
    Alex: (tilts her chin so she’s looking at him) Hey, if I was really here, I’d tell you you’re full of crap. You know that.
    Isabel: Yeah, but it wouldn’t make me feel any better.
    Alex: I better go.
    Isabel: Why?
    Alex: I’m not making things any better for you.
    Isabel: No, please. Please don’t go.
    Alex: I’m already gone. This is just a dream you’ll eventually wake up from.
    Isabel: Will I see you again?
    Alex: That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn’t want me to be here. (They kiss) Bye Isabel.
    Isabel: (crying) I love you Alex.
    Alex: I think we both know…I loved you too.
    
12. Liz: Just always be my friend. Will you do that Max?
    Max: You know I will.
13. Max: You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! You don’t know anything about Khivar or our world.
    Liz: You don’t want to think that Alex was killed by an alien because that would mean you are responsible.
    Max: Let’s go.
    Liz: I know what I know. And I am gonna to find out the truth. I owe that…to my friend.
    Kyle: Well…I guess it’s us versus them.
    
14. Jerry: Does that mean anything to you?
    Liz: Its means: I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.

1. Promo to "Departure"
2. Michael: There's a lot about you, Maria. There's a lot about you, but I think what means the most to me is that you're open. You know, I can look into your eyes, and I can see you. I can see what you thinking, and I can see what you're feeling. How much I mean to you sometimes. How much I piss you off sometimes. But I can always see you.
   Maria: I see you too.
   Michael: No. No, you don't see me. You know when Max and Liz would kiss, and Liz would get the flashes. And when we would kiss, you didn't. I know how much that hurt you.
   Maria: That doesn't matter to me anymore, Michael.
   Michael: The reason you didn't get the flashes is because I didn't let you get them. I didn't let you see me. I've never let anyone see me before . . . because there are things inside me that I don't want people to see. There's things inside of me that I'm not so proud of. But I've thought about it and I want you to see me. Take my hands.
3. Isabel: Alex, that night . . . that night at the prom when we danced, it was one of the best nights of my life, and I never got to tell you that.
   Alex: Mi'Lady.
4. Liz: If this is really goodbye, just tell me one thing. Do you love her?
   Max: Not like I love you.
5. Maria: I think we just took a huge step in human/alien relations. (laughs) I love you, Michael.
   Michael: I love you too. But I have to leave. Max, Isabel, Tess and I are going home.
   Maria: Yeah, I know. Like eventually, right?
   Michael: We're leaving in a few hours. We have to. I have no choice. I don't want to leave you, but we both knew that someday this would happen.
   Maria: How much time do we have?
   Michael: About an hour.
   
6. Michael: Max. I can't go. Ever since we came out of the pods, I've been on some quest to figure out where I belong. I've finally found home. The weird thing is it's here. It's on Earth.
7. Max: I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing. To get you into my life. To be around you. To love you.
   Maria: You opened the door and you came out. Why? You stayed for me.

1. Isabel: This is just the worst time. My parents are all freaked out about Max moving out, and I just think we need more time before anybody knows.
   (Isabel and Jesse kiss)
   Kyle: Whoops.
   Isabel: Kyle.
   Kyle: Hi.
   Isabel: Hi.
   Jesse: Hi.
   Kyle: My dad neglected to stock the frige, so I needed ...
   Isabel: Hohos, of course.
   Kyle: Hoho. (ackward silence) Bye.
   
2. Isabel Hey.
   Kyle: Hello.
   Isabel: You're probably wondering what you saw in the conviniece store the other day.
   Kyle: A stone unobserved is a stone--
   Isabel: Is this Buddhist?
   Kyle: Yes.
   Isabel: Could you not?
   Kyle: 'Kay.
   Isabel: Thank you. His name is Jesse Remirez. He's my boyfriend.
   Kyle: Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't I seen that guy leaving your father's office?
   Isabel: Yeah, he works for my father.
   Kyle: As an assistant?
   Isabel: As a lawyer.
   Kyle: So he's like 22, 23?
   Isabel: 26.
   Kyle: 26? That's a problem. Well, uh, just out of curiousity, have you told Jesse about your secret identity?
   Isabel: No, no. Max and Michael would never agree on letting anyone else in on the secret. I guess the truth of the matter is I sort of love Jesse not knowing. It's like we're this normal couple.
   Kyle: Nothing's ever easy, is it?
   Isabel: Nope. Hey, I'm actually glad that you found out. It's kind of nice to talk about it.
   Kyle: No problem.
   Isabel: And Kyle? And if you tell anybody, I'll be forced to use my formidable aliens powers on you.
   Kyle: Cool, cool. My day's never truly complete until my life's been threatened by an alien, so...
   Isabel: No problem. Okay, bye.
   Kyle: Wait, wait, wait. Good for you. I mean, Max has Liz and Michael has Maria and you've never really had that. So good for you.
   Isabel: Thanks, Kyle.
   
3. Max: So you're gonna return the Snapple? Michael: Yeah.
   Max: You think that's gonna get you your job back?
   Michael: You got a better idea?
   Max: Why don't you just go get more hours at the Crashdown?
   Michael: Because that's not what it's about, Max. It's about the principle of it.
   Max: You stole the Snapple, Michael. How could it be about principle?
4. Max: Wait. Uh... You're gonna return them now?
   Michael: Yeah. I'm gonna break in and put the Snapple back behind the fridge.
   Max: Oh. And then what?
   Michael: Then I'm gonna call 'em, and I'm gonna tip 'em off. Anonymously. And when they realize that nobody stole the Snapple and it was all just a big misunderstanding, they have no choice but to give our jobs back.
   Max: Michael, what you're about to do is not a plan. It's not an idea. It's something you think about in your mind, and then you come up with something... Better.
   Michael: Yeah. I don't have anything better.
   

1. Maria: Where were you?
   Michael: Where was i supposed to be?
   Maria: We were supposed to have lunch at school today.
   Michael: Today's saturday.
   Maria: No, today's friday. Hello. Where are you?
   Michael: I'm right here. Where's saturday?
   Maria: What, are you guys saving the world from alien invasion?
   Michael: Would that keep you from kicking my ass?
   Max: I got to get going.
   
2. Kyle: Whoa, jeez-Did you knock?
   Isabel: No.
   Kyle: So you're lurking now?
   Isabel: No.
   Kyle: What--what's wrong? Wait, you ok? Here, come on. Come on in. What happened? Do you want some water or something?
   Isabel: No.
   Kyle: Sit...Down. Do you want to talk about it?
   Isabel: No.
   Kyle: Ok, ok.
   Isabel: Aren't you late for work?
   Kyle: Oh, screw that. That's...
   Kyle: What happened?
   Isabel: I broke up with Jesse.
   Kyle: Why?
   Isabel: Because there's no way. I can't. I can't drag him into this. I can't.
   Kyle: What are you afraid of? What do you think's gonna happen? He's gonna run away? Isabel, Has anyone you've shared this with ever run away from you? Name one person.
   Kyle: Let him in. Let him deal with it.
   Isabel: I can't. Max and Michael and I, after Alex died, we made a pact to never let anyone else in, ever.
   Kyle: Well, just talk to 'em. I'm sure they'll understand.
   Isabel: Yeah, right.
   

1. Majandra's song Played with Billy, when Michael comes in and sees them.
2. Majandra's song Played at the end, as Maria is walking away.