Abigail Williams' Special Voodoo Dolls
The Salem Guild of Crafty Witches proudly presents:
ABIGAIL WILLIAMS' SPECIAL VOODOO DOLLS!
- Do you have a grudge against someone because they're married to the man/woman that you want to be sleeping with?
- Did the devil on your shoulder stab the angel on the other one, leaving you without any sort of conscience to speak of?
- Does the thought of anonymously inflicting terrible pain on an enemy excite you?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, do we have the product for you! Here's how it works:
- Order a voodoo doll
- Obtain a lock of hair from your victim
- Attach it to the doll
- Repeat the special voodoo incantation included in the instructions
- Sacrifice one chicken, and pour 13 drops of its blood on the head of the doll
THAT'S ALL! YOU'RE READY TO POKE AWAY! ORDER NOW AND WE'LL EVEN INCLUDE A SET OF PINS, FREE OF CHARGE!
So order now! Abigail Williams' Special Voodoo Doll can be yours for only 5 easy payments of $9.96!
and it's available now in stores all over Salem!
Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service,
name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money back guarantee, free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations,
free delivery, free estimates, free home trial and free parking. No cash? No problem! No kidding!
No fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligations, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one
will call on you, no payments or interest 'til September!
But, limited time only, act now, order today, send no money, offer good while supplies last, two items to a customer, each item sold seperately,
batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, some items not available, some items not exactly as
shown, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly,
professional staff. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just
right for your budget. And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift! A classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality,
premium, select, gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying thank you! And, if you
act now we'll include an extra, added, free, complimentary bonus gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality,
premium, select, gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass and garden hose in a genuine imitation leather style carrying case, with
authentic vinyl trim. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's just our way of saying thank you.**
WARNING!: This product is not recommended for children. Use of this product may cause nausea, dizziness, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, shortness of breath, cramping, loss of appetite, hernia, internal bleeding, cottonmouth, loss of hair, erectile dysfunction, brain hemorrhage, heart dysrhythmia, liver failure, kidney stones, insomnia, gout, hypertension, extreme sensitivity to temperature change, incontinence, rapid weight gain, rapid weight loss, narcolepsy, seizures, loss of limbs, weakened immune system, loss of coordination, loss of verbal function, drooling, blindness, deafness, numbness, stiffening of the joints, lung collapse, increased metabolism, decreased metabolism, allergic reactions, hives, decreased bone density, slowed brain activity, hemophilia, inexplicable phobias, arthritis, bursitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, muscular atrophy, pains in the extremities, twitching, nerve damage, deep vein thrombosis, loss of muscle control, paralysis, spinal disc compression, increased meningococcal fluid pressure, lowered brain density, toxic shock syndrome, rapid body hair growth, sleep apnea, anaphylactic shock, pseudoscyosis, blood clots, arteriosclerosis, visceral perforations, spongiform encephalopathy, crohn’s disease, lymphatic cancer, severe constipation, fever, migraine, rapid tumor growth, cysts, acid reflux, heartburn, bleeding ulcers, lowered red and white blood cells, aneurisms, stroke, body mutations, amnesia, gangrene, gingivitis, frostbite, dehydration, bubonic plague, severe acute respiratory syndrome, and in severe cases, death.
Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery.
