Disappointment.
Mood:  sad
Topic: pissed
Wesley's here. Thought it would be soo cool. Nope. It sucks. All he wants to do is hang out with Kirk. Whatever, he's just a ghost, anyways. (Wow, don't I sound crazy?) I mean, he's not like he used to be. It's not really him..if it was, I wouldn't feel so detached from him, unemotional. It's weird. I thought I missed him so much, and now that he's here, it's like I really don't give a shit. I like to just have the memories of him or something, I guess I just don't like hanging out with him now that I have already said goodbye for the last time. I don't want him back unless he can stay. I'm not going to go through that shit all over again. I guess that's what it is - I'm just protecting myself, that's why I don't want to like him again. I've been being a bitch to him, though, but I just can't help it. I just recluse in my room when everyone else is doing something with him, I mean, I don't totally avoid him...I don't know. The other thing that I don't like about this new ghost of Wesley is that he's never around when we want him to be, and then when he comes back or whatever he always has some lame-ass excuse, but it all just seems like lies. Like he just doesn't want to hang out. But then when he's around he just seems so..I don't know..like a few weeks ago when he visited, he said that he's really missed us a lot and we seemed like we didn't miss him or something. So it's like he does really care, but he doesn't act like it sometimes. I don't know, it's just weird..seeing him again so suddenly when I've been missing him for so long. And like I said, I guess I just can't let him back into my life if he's not going to be there for long, just visiting a few times a year. I can't do that to myself. I've already lost him once, and that was devastating.

Grrrr!!!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: "All Of This"/Blink-182
Topic: pissed
Jonathan is such a fucking asshole. I went to Winner's a minute ago and he was there, and he wouldn't come outside to talk to me. I got Courtney and Sandi to go in there and tell him I was waiting for him outside, and then I called him from Courtney's cell phone and bitched at him for it and he was just like "ok, bye". Grrrr!!! I just wanted to get him in person to dump his ass, I hate doing it over the phone or getting someone else to tell him for me. I also found out today that one of my "friends" doesn't really like me, which kinda upset me, so I'm kinda pissed off. Anyways, one good thing is that Thursday we don't have school, so I can hang out with Sandi and her stoner boyfriend tomorrow night, maybe. I want to go to Barnes and Noble Thursday, too. I've been working on a new layout for my website and those fanlisting things. (The computer at the house is working again.) Don't really have much to say.