Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when
suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and,
holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw
your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and
said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it
says in the book."