][V][inimal //-\\krobat
(2004-03-08)For The Death Of Me
I said im not writing anymore, but who the hell cares?
For the next five minutes, anyway, im not going anywhere.
Hehehe--hear that laugh? Thats maniacal,
But look at my face and you'll know im suicidal.
but dont worry about me, my last breath wont be for a while,
unless my gas man fixes my oven dial.
there isn't even any reason for me to be this way anymore,
the life-threatening illness isnt there like before.
so who the hell am i to control my own life?
why not just give all the control surgically sharpened butcher's knife?
flip, slash, trip, fall on the floor
not even trying to be hardcore anymore.
just trying to get through this hell,
maybe a couple times on that kiss and tell.
damn, who knows how messed up i am?
maybe one person, the one who supplies the perfect plan.
dig deep into my brain and drain out the pain,
then stain the empty vessel, that you call "sane".
Laugh at my futile attempt to be like you,
but dont forget that when i start life anew,
you could be me, and i could be you.
aren't you jealous of me right now?
of course not, i'm the one you disavow.
I'm the one you love, but hate in public,
alone we kiss, but with people, you dropkick.
thats ok, my sights gone greay, so stay away.
and to your dismay, portray me as the devil on "the lord's day"
haha you love me, you know you do.
but you wont truly know until this is all through.
then i'll be the one everybody loves,
and i wont hold a grudge, you wont be deprived of
the perfectly flawed creature that is me.
and once again, you and I will become "we"
[Comments]A Long time ago, I'm better now.
(2004-03-19)Final Grasp
My life's window being closed.
My life's fears being exposed.
Last wills and testaments being composed,
while my heart wilts like an old rose.
This, the rose I wanted to give.
Beginning of the life i wanted to live.
Apparently they don't want to forgive,
so I will let them continue, outlive.
Wrists are cut.
Eyes are shut.
In your mind the skin is uncut.
Could I ever feel the pain?
Dodging friends, but hitting veins.
Sunny nature, but mental rain,
too bad there's a stoppage in my drain.
One can almost understand.
Can't bring her too close, it's death's own quicksand.
Complete autopilot, my body's unmanned,
so that my mind has the upper hand.
Want to hold hands one last time.
Express true feelings through a rhyme.
But my love has passed it's prime,
as the death count begins to climb.
Hug life tight, make it last.
Hug her too, thinking of the past.
Now that I can see the contrast,
I also see my time has passed.
[Comments] Someone died, I wasnt too happy.
(2004-04-01)The Sharpness
The sharpness is coming close,
I feel it in the air.
That last breath hurt the most.
My throat begins to tear.
Now the sharpness has arrived.
I feel it next to me.
It's a wonder she survived.
There's still no guarantee.
I can feel her float away.
The sharpness getting nearer.
I know now I've been betrayed.
She was merely a mirror.
Now the sharpness, at my throat.
Blood runs down my chest.
Blood runs deep, but I stay afloat.
This hope, I do detest.
In much pain, one final call.
And one ultimate regret.
I had the sharpness after all,
are you worried yet?
[Comments] Wow, dont remember what made me write that..Think it was stil the death of a friend.
(2004-04-10)No One Can Ever Know
Crush me with your words,
you dont know they hurt.
You love me, I know it,
But I feel like dirt.
You're killing me slowly,
But you'll never find out.
Because your loves keeps me from telling you,
Inside I scream and shout.
In seclusion i want you with me,
and together, for you to go.
Because I understand you all too well,
And no one will ever know.
[Comments] Short, but to the point, eh?
(2004-06-01)Into The Dusk
At last, I feel free from my pain,
Don't ask me how, the whole concept is arcane,
When I was confused, depressed, lost,
I would have done anything for this feeling, no matter the cost.
But now, I see that made up these emotions,
To have a sense of control.
And now, I see that I am nothing,
But the sole owner of an empty black soul.
Maybe its me or this pill, mescaline
Talking to you now.
Whichever, doesnt matter,
My view has been shattered,
And nothing could make it worse.
I brought this on myself,
Knowing it wouldn't help, but willingly accepting the curse.
I wont kill myself, dont worry about that,
For that is the easy way out.
No, i shall suffer through life, and sob in my death,
Knowing that it could have all been avoided, beyond any doubt,
If only I hadnt wanted so much,
The apparent pain, the invisible love,
That constricts until you just have to shout.
And shout I did, and will continue to to do until someone gives me a chance.
A chance to remove from my throbbing vein, this sybiotic lance.
And now, I shall sleep once more, tonight,
Knowing more than I ever wanted to know.
Yes, the night is too dark, and the day is too bright,
So, into the dusk I shall go.
[Comments] Cant think of anything to say about this one...
