stupid
god why am i so stupid. i know that he wont keep his mouth shut. i shouldn't have told him about last night. it was all so stupid anyways. its not like smoking is a huge deal, anyways i only did it once. now there are going to be rumors going around school that im a druggie or something. the whole rumor about me sucking G's dick was bad enough. i mean COME ON! he already make me nacious enough. ugh, just thinking about that makes me want to throw up.

*cough cough*
shit, why did i do that last night? i got a soar throat from smoking and im sick/weak from only getting four hours of sleep. god im stupid. im so sick of being let down. and im so sick of lying to my mom. i've become exactly what i told myself i wouldnt be.

boring
today i hung out with J* at marengo, it was really boring. all he did was talk to this dad about sports. i swear his life revolves around soccer. oh well...

pointless
Pyrochikk (7:28 PM): shast
shastoo (7:28 PM): yo
Pyrochikk (7:28 PM): joey is pissed
shastoo (7:28 PM): y?
shastoo (7:29 PM): uh oh
shastoo (7:29 PM): im scared
shastoo (7:29 PM): haha
Pyrochikk (7:30 PM): cause we called him Frenchie
shastoo (7:30 PM): thats stupid
shastoo (7:30 PM): he shouldnt be mad
Pyrochikk (7:30 PM): yeah, I know
shastoo (7:30 PM): is he REALLY mad or just kinda mad
shastoo (7:30 PM): or just pissed
shastoo (7:30 PM): or annoyed
shastoo (7:31 PM): or stupid
Pyrochikk (7:31 PM): Really Really Really mad
shastoo (7:31 PM): its a fucking name
shastoo (7:31 PM): so when did he get mad?
Pyrochikk (7:31 PM): I know but he's super pissed, after school
shastoo (7:31 PM): stupid
shastoo (7:32 PM): stupid stupid
Pyrochikk (7:32 PM): i no
shastoo (7:32 PM): stupid stupid
shastoo (7:32 PM): i still dont get it
shastoo (7:32 PM): i mean he knew we were calling him frenchi
shastoo (7:32 PM): y all the sudden did he get mad?
Pyrochikk (7:33 PM): I dont no, but he was ignoring me aftr skool
shastoo (7:33 PM): stupid
Pyrochikk (7:33 PM): hmm
shastoo (7:33 PM): maybe he found out u like him
shastoo (7:33 PM): and didnt want to confront you
shastoo (7:33 PM): that what i did to glenn
shastoo (7:34 PM): and i was a little bitch
Pyrochikk (7:34 PM): naw. no 1 but u and ciella and my mom knows
shastoo (7:34 PM): hmmm
Pyrochikk (7:34 PM): ick, y is he like that
shastoo (7:34 PM): i dont know
shastoo (7:34 PM): El es estupido
shastoo (7:35 PM): so you guys didnt do anything after school i take it?
Pyrochikk (7:36 PM): yo se, aveses no se porque me gusta tanto, pero entonses lo veo y puedo sentir mi corazon
shastoo (7:36 PM): one sec let me get my spanish book
shastoo (7:37 PM): haha
Pyrochikk (7:37 PM): lol, sum times I dont get y I loke him...
shastoo (7:37 PM): oh
shastoo (7:37 PM): is that what u said
shastoo (7:37 PM): or is that new
Pyrochikk (7:38 PM): basically wut I said
shastoo (7:38 PM): oh ok
shastoo (7:38 PM): but there was a becasue in there
Pyrochikk (7:39 PM): oh, porque means because and why
shastoo (7:40 PM): ohhhhh
shastoo (7:40 PM): yayayayayayaya
shastoo (7:40 PM): gooooood song
shastoo (7:40 PM): eeeeeeee
Pyrochikk (7:40 PM): yup
shastoo (7:40 PM): aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
shastoo (7:40 PM): sonny
shastoo (7:40 PM): hahahahahaha
shastoo (7:40 PM): yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
shastoo (7:40 PM): i lOVE this song
Pyrochikk (7:40 PM): zzzzz
Pyrochikk (7:40 PM): zzz
Pyrochikk (7:40 PM): wut song?
shastoo (7:40 PM): screw you
shastoo (7:40 PM): sonny
shastoo (7:41 PM): ahhhhhhhhh
shastoo (7:41 PM): i LOVE this song
shastoo (7:41 PM): more than i love charlie
shastoo (7:41 PM): and my mom
shastoo (7:41 PM): and julian
Pyrochikk (7:41 PM): hoo, wut song
shastoo (7:41 PM): and joey
shastoo (7:41 PM): and glenn
Pyrochikk (7:41 PM): oh, i know charlie
shastoo (7:42 PM): you do?
Pyrochikk (7:42 PM): oh oh ,I love Joey
shastoo (7:42 PM): you know charile?
shastoo (7:42 PM): *charlie
Pyrochikk (7:43 PM): bb in a sec, brb
shastoo (7:43 PM): ok

monday 12/8
this morning i saw TK before school and i have owed him a B-day present for quite a while now. i had the old glowstick in my pocket so i just handed it to him. i said, " hey, happy birthday. heres and old glowstick that doesnt work anymore that has been in my mouth." and he kept it! what is it with guys who like glowsticks that have been in my mouth. ugh i also tried to hug J* today but he pulled away. =(


*the J that i like

crazy weekend
i have a bunch of different friends, so i usually alternate on weekends. well this weekend i went to A's house with C. the plan was to sleepover and then go bowling the next day with our guyfriends, J, G, and B. well after A and C picked me up from I's(a whole other story) house her mom got this crazy idea. so we went to J's house. we knocked on the door and said, "J, are you ready? we are already running late." he was like "what!" so he ran around his house getting his stuff to sleepover. i couldn't believe he was actually falling for it, A and C were giggling like crazy. but he got in the car and we told him it was all a joke. so then we ended up picking up G also to go watch movies at A's house. it was so hilarious.
the next day we picked up the guys and went bowling.
when we were bowling there was an arcade that had those little dispencer things. umm what are they called. well nvrmind. ok so everybody was getting glow sticks but J didnt have any money. well in each one there were two because they are the little ones that go in your mouth. i had already had both of them in my mouth and i pulled one out trying to emphasize that it had been in my mouth and i offered it to J. i was so suprised when he took it!
after we went bowling we were driving around to drop people off and A pulled out her moms lipstick. then A started kissing G all over his face to make big kiss marks. well then C put some on too and she kissed A. i was thinking, eww lesbian action. but then C and A tried to kiss me. i was like "HELL NO!" it was really gross. then i also had B trying to kiss me. it wasnt too pleasant. the only good part was when we finally got out of the car and were taking pictures. A and C were taking a picture of them kissing J because he had been sitting in front the whole time so he didnt get any action. haha. well after that i kissed J. that was the only pleasureable part of that experience. not that is was THAT great. when i read this it seams pretty pathetic, but i am only 14. the worst thing i have done is smoke. so give me a break. later!