Bathroom 1 Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. bathroom 2 Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper bathroom 3 Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted bathroom 4 You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants! bathroom 5 I came here To shit and stink But all I do Is sit and think. bathroom 6 Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls... bathroom 7 (written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you. bathroom 8 (written high upon the wall above a urinal) Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand. bathroom 9 Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please! bathroom 10 Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays! bathroom 11 Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words: "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber." bathroom 12 On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance. bathroom 13 " 1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet) bathroom 14 A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in pool! bathroom 15 Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way. bathroom 16 My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too? bathroom 17 Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself. bathroom 18 In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes Burger King 10 minutes. bathroom 19 Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly. bathroom 20 Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away. bathroom 21 Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes! bathroom 22 One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love Jesus! bathroom 23 While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You've one one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left... bathroom graffiti 24 Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling. bathroom 25 (written above a urinal) Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it? bathroom 26 Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one. bathroom 27 Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot