Logic dictates that I'm supposed to be having the time of my life right now. I'm back in beautiful New Zealand seeing some of my closest friends and I'm one day away from the premiere of what I know will be an amazing movie. The small party I'm attending is brimming with excitement, and they even have those mini-quiches that I adore.
But I'm not having the time of my life; in fact, I can barely remember to breathe. The reason for that is the presence of one Viggo Mortensen, who's just walked into the hotel suite where we've all congregated to celebrate this reunion. He looks beautiful, wearing khakis and a lightweight black sweater. Perhaps intentionally, he has the same chin-length brown hair he had during filming, as well as the Aragorn stubble that he was never without.
"Orli?" Lij's voice cuts through my musings, and I tear my gaze away from Viggo.
"Yeah?"
"You gonna stare at him all night?" He's wearing a very irritating grin.
"Piss off, Lij."
Those blue eyes widen and he puts his hands up in apology. "Sorry, man. I didn't mean anything by it."
"I know." I sigh and run a hand through my hair. After two years of nothing but a mohawk and a shaved head, it's odd to finally *have* a real haircut again. I wonder if Viggo will like it at all when he sees it. No. Don't go down that road. Remember, he's your *ex*-boyfriend, ex as in previous, former, not anymore boyfriend.
"Have you guys talked a lot since August? It was so great to see that you were speaking to each other again." God, I want to smack the Ringbearer sometimes.
"No, we haven't talked at all. It's still kind of weird, you know?"
"Oh." Lij looks like someone just told him his puppy had died. "So you're sort of friends, but not really?"
"Something like that."
"I'm sorry, Orli. I'll stop talking about this."
"Thanks." I steal another look at Viggo, who's now talking with Christopher Lee.
"You should go talk to him, mate." I whip my head around to find Dom standing next to Lij and giving me a familiar smile. The kind of smile that says, 'you poor thing, I'm sorry about your broken heart.' I'm so sick of that smile.
"Dom, drop it," Lij says firmly, and I send him a silent thank you.
"Actually, I'm just going to head to the loo. I'll be right back." I quickly navigate my way to the bathroom and lock the door.
Come on Orli, you can handle this. Remember to breathe, remember to breathe, remember to breathe. It's only Viggo, and he's not going to be a bastard in front of everybody. Of course, he's never really a bastard . . . well, except for that one time. But still, Dom's right -- what's the harm in talking to him? After all, I *do* want to be friends with him; it's better than nothing.
Gathering up every ounce of courage I possess, I walk back out into the suite and scan the room in an effort to locate Viggo. I find him in the corner, still talking with Christopher. Damn. I'm not going to break up their conversation just to say hi, so I keep to myself in the background for a few minutes until they finally stop talking.
My eyes follow Viggo as he walks over to the small buffet the hotel has arranged for us, and I take a deep breath before going over there. I *can* do this. I'm an actor, I can easily pretend that this isn't terrifying. "Hi, Viggo." See? That wasn't so difficult!
He turns and looks at me, his expression unreadable. "Hi, Orlando. How are you?"
"Um, I'm good. Really good. And yourself?" I jam my hands in my pockets so he won't notice that they're shaking.
"I'm okay. Just busy putting together a new show."
"Really? That's great! How's Henry doing?"
"Pretty good. He's learning the joys of black nail polish right now." Viggo gives me a half-hearted smile. "He wanted me to say hi to you."
"I actually got him something for Christmas. If I give it to you will you make sure he gets it?"
"Of course."
There's an uncomfortable pause. "Anyway . . ." I desperately try to think of something to say. "I'm going to be in L.A. a lot over the next few months. I was hoping we could hang out some time."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Listen, I'm going to make the rounds and say hi to everyone, okay?"
"Sure, sure. I'll be around if you want to talk some more."
"Okay. I'll see you later, Orli." He gathers his plate of hors d'oeuvres and goes off to start talking to Hugo, leaving me to stand there like a complete idiot.
Trying to distract myself from the sting of his disinterest, I search out Dom and Lij again. "So how'd it go?" Lij asks me nervously.
"Christ, it's not like it's a UN summit; I just spoke to Viggo, that's all. It was fine," I lie. "He's doing well, Henry's doing well . . . it was good to talk to him."
"Cool." Lij looks at his watch. "Do you realize that just twenty-two hours from now we're gonna see the movie? I seriously can't believe it. What part are you looking forward to seeing the most?"
"The Balrog and the Cave Troll," I say automatically. "I can't wait to see what CGI did with that stuff. Plus the Council of Elrond."
"I want to see Weathertop and Moria," Dom tells us. "All of the battle scenes should be awesome. What about you, Lij?"
"The scene where Gandalf and Frodo talk in Moria; Ian was so amazing when we were filming that."
We talk for a while about everything and anything, mingling with our co-stars, Pete and Fran, and some assorted producers and behind-the-scenes people. Every time I try to seek out Viggo, he's talking with someone -- Hugo, Liv, Ian, Pete, Billy, etc. I couldn't stop thinking about him when I was apart from him, and now that he's here I want nothing more than to leap on him and beg him to take me back. Not that I'd ever do that, because I remember what he said when we had The Fight: "don't come crawling back. Ever."
After a long time, Viggo is finally by himself again and I walk up to him, ignoring the flip-flops in my stomach. "So it's a cool party, huh?" God, I'm a shitty conversationalist sometimes.
"I'm having a good time," Viggo says with a shrug.
"Can you believe we're finally seeing the film tomorrow? I'm so unbelievably excited."
"It should be terrific," he agrees, his voice still neutral. "And it'll be great to see that all of our hard work and dedication has paid off."
"Yeah. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to have breakfast with me tomorrow." I give him my best puppy dog look, the one he could never resist.
"I'm not sure."
"Well maybe lunch, then." Please don't ignore me completely, Viggo.
"I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow." He looks away and runs a hand through his hair, which is his telltale nervous gesture.
"Okay," I say dejectedly. "Let me know if you do want to grab a bite."
"Sure."
"I'll see you later, then."
"Yeah, see you later." There's no enthusiasm in his voice, and I feel myself starting to get teary. Shit, that's all I need -- to break down in front of him and lose my dignity completely.
"Bye," I say softly, turning around and walking quickly to the other side of the room. Things could not be going worse. How are we supposed to be friends if he doesn't even want to have breakfast with me? Why did I call him a coward when we had The Fight? Why did I tell him to go to hell? Why did I lie about that girl? Why didn't I ring him once during all this time? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?
"Hey, Orli," Sean says as I walk over to where he's standing with Dom and Ian. Good, I could use a distraction.
"Hello, hobbit," I respond.
"What's the matter?" Ian asks, picking up on my distress.
"Nothing."
"Orlando," he says in a warning tone. "Do I need to use my staff on you?"
"Oh, be quiet. Where's your boyfriend, anyway?"
"Talking with Billy. Now tell me what's wrong."
I blink back tears. "He's avoiding me."
"Viggo?" Dom asks.
"Yeah."
"And you're surprised by this?" Sean asks incredulously. "Lij says that you guys haven't even talked since August."
"Lij has a big mouth," I grumble.
"Listen, this is hard for Viggo," Dom tells me.
"He won't even look me in the eye, Dom," I say desperately. "I don't think he even wants to be friends with me. How did everything turn into such a mess?"
"Well . . ." Ian hesitates, his blue eyes serious. "Do you want to know the truth?"
"Yes," I say in a small voice, not sure if I really *do* want to know the truth.
He sighs and shakes his head. "Viggo will never be able to be friends with you, Orli."
"What? Why? Does he hate me that much?" I'm very glad that we're standing in the corner and no one's paying attention to our conversation.
"No, he could never hate you."
"Then why--"
"Because he's still in love with you."
My hand flies to my mouth in shock, and my eyes are probably as big as Lij's right now. "Still in love?" I repeat incredulously when I'm able to talk again. Ian has to be mistaken. Viggo can't even stand to be around me; there's no way he could be in love with me anymore.
"How do you know?" Dom asks Ian.
"He told me," Ian says simply. "I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, but sometimes secrets have to be revealed when you're dealing with two extremely stubborn people."
"I can't believe this," I whisper, tears beginning to blur my vision. "Viggo's really still in love with me?" Ian nods. "Then why is he ignoring me? I've been trying to talk to him and he's acting like I'm nothing more than a nuisance."
"Orlando, I adore you but you can be a very foolish boy sometimes," Ian says gently.
"What do you mean?"
"Back in August when we were all here for reshoots, he was planning to tell you that he wanted to get back together."
"Are you serious?!" Dom gasps.
"This cannot be happening," I moan.
"Before he could talk to you," Ian continues, "well . . . you told him about that girl."
"You told him about that? Why would you do that?" Sean asks me.
"Wait, how do *you* know about that?" I exclaim.
"Everyone knows about that."
I glare at Dom, who looks at me sheepishly. "Sorry, Orli. But no one told Viggo . . . well, you did apparently. Which begs the question of why you did that."
"It was a defense mechanism," I try to explain. "I was afraid of getting hurt. It wasn't until last month that I realized how much I want him back." I'm crying now, but I don't really care. "But nothing happened with the girl from the club."
"What are you talking about?" Dom asks with wide eyes. "I saw you leave with her!"
"I left her in front of her flat."
"Then why on earth did you tell Viggo you had sex with her?" Sean questions, sounding a bit angry with me. "Why lie to him like that?"
"I told you I was afraid of getting hurt! I had no idea he still felt that way about me!"
"Well, you ended up hurting *him*," Ian tells me. "He was absolutely heartbroken that night."
"I have to go talk to him."
"Orli, don't," Dom urges. "Not here."
"I have to know if he's still in love with me, Sblomie. If he is, then we still have a chance!"
"Just calm down," Sean says soothingly, but I shake my head.
"No. I know what I'm doing." I wipe the tears from my face and walk away from them, searching desperately for Viggo amongst the people in the suite. He's standing with Lij, talking animatedly about something. God, I love him. Please, please, please let him forgive me. I blindly push past people until I reach Viggo. "Hey, we need to talk," I tell him as I grab his arm.
"What? Orli, what's going on?"
"Listen, I'm so sorry Vig," I say, taking one of his hands in mine. Lij raises his eyebrows and scampers off somewhere. "I didn't know--"
"Please don't do this," Viggo says in a low voice as he pulls his hand away. "Especially not here."
"Just listen to me," I plead.
"Stop it, Orli." He turns and starts to walk away.
"Come on!" I exclaim, grabbing his shoulder.
"Boys?" Pete's voice makes us turn around. "Can I have a word with you outside?" A few people watch curiously as Viggo and I dutifully walk out into the hotel corridor, followed be Pete, Bean, and Lij.
"What are you doing?!" I ask as Bean physically drags me down the hall. Pete is doing the same thing to Viggo, and Lij is walking alongside us. We're pulled into the elevator, travel down two floors, and are dragged down another corridor, until we finally stop in front of a door and Bean uses his keycard to open it.
"Is this okay?" he asks Pete, gesturing to the hotel room.
"Yeah." Pete looks at me and Viggo with a no-nonsense expression on his face. "Now I want you to listen to me. You two are supposed to be adults, not children, so grow up and talk to each other. I will *not* have anything disrupted by your immature behavior, so you're staying in this room until you've worked something out."
"What?!" Viggo cries. "You can't make us--"
"Think again!" he thunders, making me take a step back. "I've had enough of this; we all have! If you guys want to be stupid and stay apart that's your business, but this game of ignoring each other *has* to end. So get in there and talk."
"Yeah," Lij adds, trying to sound tough.
"Sean, will you stay here and make sure they don't leave?" Pete asks.
"Come on, Pete. Don't make me babysit these guys," Sean begs.
"I'll give you ten dollars if you guard the door."
"This is ridiculous," Viggo mutters.
"No one asked you," Sean tells him sharply. "Ten dollars, Pete? Is that your best offer?"
"Take it or leave it."
"I'll take it." Sean shoves me through the door. "Now talk," he orders. "You too, Vig." Viggo sighs and follows me into the room.
The door slams shut behind us and we stare at each other for a minute. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I'm not sure I've fully processed all the information that's been given to me tonight. He's still in love with me. He wanted to get back together in August. And maybe I still have a chance with him.
"Viggo," I say softly.
He closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head. "I can't do this, Orlando. I'm sorry." Before I can say anything, he opens the door to the room.
"Going somewhere?" Bean asks menacingly. Now I know why he's always picked to be the bad guy -- Viggo looks truly frightened.
"Um . . . no."
"Good."
Viggo closes the door and looks at me apprehensively. "So . .
." His voice trails off. Crossing the room, he sits down in
a chair and sighs. "I guess we should talk."
