TITLE: Pretty Good Year (5/22)
AUTHOR: Elizabeth (sef7881@aol.com)
PAIRING: Viggo Mortensen/Orlando Bloom
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: To beard or not to beard? (Orli's POV)
FEEDBACK: It's the sauce on my steak, it's the cheese in my cake
WARNINGS: Angst
DISCLAIMER: This story is solely a product of my twisted imagination
ARCHIVE: Help yourself, just drop me a line so I can brag to my friends
DATE WRITTEN: August 30th, 2003
"So what's the big crisis?" I ask Robin as I sit down in one of her office chairs. "You sounded very stressed when I talked to you on the phone this morning."
"I'm a publicist, sweetheart," she laughs. "I'm always very stressed."
"Okay, but what's stressing you out right now? Why did I have to come down here on a perfectly lovely Friday morning?"
Robin sighs. "Orlando, you are poised to be one of the hottest young stars in the world right now, but there's a huge X factor that I had a feeling would need to be dealt with sooner or later."
"An 'X factor'?" I ask, not quite understanding.
"There's a lot of speculation popping up, especially online, about your sexuality. That's not exactly the kind of press that studio heads want to see when they're considering who to cast in their movies."
My heart sinks. "What are you trying to tell me? You already know that I'm bisexual, Robin; you told me that you don't have a problem with that."
"And I don't," she insists. "But what could end up hurting you in the long run is this game of is-he-or-isn't-he that you seem to be playing with the media."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, Orlando." She pulls out a photocopy of the 'Premiere' article on Viggo and reads aloud part of my quote. "'I can't believe how much this is going to make me sound like I'm in love with the guy.' Which did indeed make you sound like you were in love with the guy. There are a number of other quotes about Viggo that I could reference which sound a bit suspicious, plus the way you two were so affectionate at the 'Two Towers' premiere, not to mention a certain kiss you gave him at the 2001 Cannes Film Festival." I squirm uncomfortably in my seat at the mention of that kiss. "You seem to be dropping hints all over the place, about both your sexuality and the fact that you two are together. It really can't go on like this."
"Is this your way of telling me that I should break up with Viggo?" I charge angrily. "Because I can tell you right now, that's *never* going to happen. I'd walk away from this bloody profession before I'd walk away from him."
"That's not what I'm suggesting at all," Robin says, holding up her hands defensively. "I'm actually thrilled that you're with Viggo. The relationship that the two of you have is a big part of why I know you won't be distracted by all the bullshit that fame and success can bring with it."
"Then what *are you suggesting?"
"The way I see it, you have two options here." She stands up and begins to walk around the room. "The first one is to come out, which would stop all of this speculation."
"Alright." I lean back in the chair. "We're coming out in ten months; you know that."
"No, not in ten months. You would need to come out *now*."
I shake my head vehemently. "I can't do that, Robin. Viggo and I made an agreement."
"Could you talk to him about it?" she pleads. "Maybe see if he'd be willing to rework the date?"
"Sure," I say sarcastically. "I'll tell him to forget whatever discussions we had on the issue because my publicist is concerned about some internet gossip. Forget it. January 2004 is when we're coming out, and that's final."
"Okay, then what about the second option?"
"What's that?" I ask with some trepidation.
"Get a beard."
"A what?"
Robin sits down again, only this time in the chair next to mine. "There is a wonderful young actress who I represent; she's sweet, smart, and very talented. I'm looking for a way to get her face out there a little more, and at the same time counteract the rumors about your sexuality. If the two of you could make a few public appearances together -- nothing major, you wouldn't have to do anything more than hold hands--"
"Are you insane?!" I exclaim.
"Orlando, it's not unheard of," she tells me. "There are other actors who do this so they can maintain an image."
"Well, good for them."
"You won't even consider it?"
"No."
She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. "What are we supposed to do, then?"
"For God's sake, I could care less what people think," I say with exasperation. "Let them speculate all they want."
"This is really going to give me ulcers, Orlando. It would make my life a lot easier if you simply met with Kate and then decided what you wanted to do."
"Kate?"
"Kate Bosworth," she explains. "My client. She's coming here in an hour; would you stick around so that you could have lunch with her?"
"Yeah, I guess . . ." I sigh. "This is absolutely insane."
Robin shrugs. "This is Hollywood."
*****
It's difficult to resist slamming the front door in frustration when I enter the house, but I manage to keep my temper in check. When I walk into the kitchen to grab a drink, I can see that Viggo and Henry are out on the patio, talking about something. Not wanting to bother them with my bad mood, I quietly slink off to the bedroom with some iced tea. This is such a mess.
I curl up on the bed, quickly forgetting about my thirst, and quickly clutch Viggo's pillow to my chest. My shoes are kicked off, and I slip under the covers despite the fact that I'm wearing jeans. Within moments, I fall asleep.
When I wake up again, the pink sunset is filtering through the bedroom window, and Viggo is sitting next to me on the bed, one hand holding a book while the other strokes my hair. "Hey," I say groggily.
He jumps a little at the sound of my voice, then looks down with a concerned smile. "Hey yourself. Are you okay? Are you sick?"
"Sick? No. Okay? I'm not so sure."
"I got your message that you were having lunch out, but I didn't see you come in earlier. Then I found you in bed and thought that maybe you weren't feeling well." He drops his book by the side of the bed, placing both of his hands on my cheeks so he can pull me in for a kiss. "What's wrong, baby?"
"My meeting with Robin was . . . not great," I say. That's the understatement of the year.
"Publicists," Viggo sighs. "The bane of an actor's existence."
I manage a slight chuckle. "I don't have a problem with *her* so much as with what her job calls for me to do on occasion."
"And what does it call for you to do now? What does she need from you?"
"She needs me to . . ." I trail off, not knowing what to say. "Apparently, there's a lot of speculation about me online."
"Speculation?" Viggo frowns. "What do you mean?"
"About my sexuality," I clarify. "About your sexuality too, for that matter. About us. Like the RPS stuff, for example."
"Okay. But what does that have to do with Robin?"
"Apparently a lot. She thinks these rumors will start making the rounds in Hollywood, and my career will be affected. She sort of gave me an ultimatum."
"She *what*?!" I can hear the anger in Viggo's voice. "She has no right to do that, Orli! What did she say?"
"She sort of gave me two options. The first one was to come out right now, which I guess would shut up all the speculation." I take his hand in mine. "But I told her that was not an option, Vig. I told her we had committed to a date, and we were sticking to it." The relief is evident on his face.
"And the second option?"
I stay silent for a few moments before finally telling him. "She, uh, she wants me to date a girl. To *pretend* to date a girl. So that the rumors will stop, you know?"
"And what did you say?" he asks.
"I said no," I tell him firmly. "Viggo, I would never pretend to care about someone else the way I care about you. I wouldn't do that to you, or to us. No career is worth more than our relationship."
"Did you meet the girl?"
"Um, yeah," I say, slightly taken aback by his question. "Robin wanted me to have lunch with her, so I did that basically to get her off my back."
"What's she like?"
"She's very nice. Her name is Kate Bosworth; she's another one of Robin's clients. She was in that sufing movie last year -- 'Blue Crush'."
"Did you two get along?"
I frown. "Sure we did. She's sweet and smart, and we had a few things in common. But I don't see where you're going with this, Vig. I mean, I've already decided that I'm definitely not going to *use* this girl as a beard."
"Well, maybe you should," Viggo says.
"What? Viggo, what are you talking about? Why on earth would I do that?"
"Orli, the rumors aren't going to stop--"
"They're stupid internet rumors!" I exclaim. "You want me to pretend to date this girl and totally disrespect our relationship because people are speculating about who I'm shagging?!"
"Listen to me, love," he pleads, his hands curling around my arms and pulling me in closer. "You are on the brink of something special. You have 'Lord of the Rings', 'Pirates of the Caribbean', and now your new role in 'Troy'. You're young, you're beautiful, and you're talented. All the directors are going to want to cast you in their movies. But these rumors, even if you think they're stupid, *do* grab attention in this town. This is a business that is driven by gossip."
"I don't get it. We're coming out in ten months, and that's no problem, but the fact that I refuse to talk about my personal life or sexuality means I have to pretend to have a girlfriend?" I pull away from him. "I can't believe you think this is a good idea! It cheapens what we have! I'd feel like such a complete fraud!"
"It's just another role, Orli."
"Oh sure, 'just another role'. One where I'm required to ignore the fact that I have a wonderful boyfriend, and pretend that I'm completely heterosexual--"
"There's a reason why you need to do this!" he tells me sharply. "People are not as understanding as they should be! I'm not saying that this is fair or easy; it's a sacrifice, and it's not one that you should have to make. But this is a business built on *image* and you have to accept that."
"I can't believe this. You just . . ." I sigh. "Doesn't this bother you? I mean, I'm going to be out with a girl I barely know, holding her hand and pretending to date her! I'm sure that our pictures will surface in all the magazines. How will *you* handle that? I couldn't do this if it would upset you."
Viggo holds out his hand to draw me back in for another embrace. "I'll be okay, because I know it's not real. Besides, I doubt you'll be having public make-out sessions with her."
"No, nothing like that," I say, managing a small laugh. "Robin said it wouldn't go beyond holding hands."
"So it would be like watching you in a movie," he explains. "I'd be able to handle it. And it's only for a few months, so there won't be a million photo-ops anyway." He pauses. "Look Orli, I can't make you do anything, and I don't want this to be something that really becomes a problem between us; we've had enough to deal with already. But could I just give you one more reason why I think it's a good idea?"
"Sure."
"You could sabotage it and make it backfire on Robin. Sort of a 'fuck you for meddling with my personal life,'" he tells me with an evil grin.
My eyebrows raise. "Sabotage? What are you planning, old man?"
His grin grows wider, and I can't help but join in with my own smile. "Okay, you'd obviously have to talk to Kate first and make sure she's fine with the idea. But if the two of you both want to, you could show up at the photo-ops and look really distracted and not interested in each other to the point that you barely make eye contact. That way it looks staged, and no one really buys the rumors that you're dating. Plus, you refuse to talk about your personal life, saying it's nobody's business, so your 'relationship' with Kate amounts to absolutely nothing."
"I'm impressed," I laugh. "I never knew you could be so devious."
Viggo shrugs. "Sometimes I surprise even myself. But what do you think?"
"Well, I think I can survive a few months of a fake relationship for the sake of the most important *real* relationship of my life," I tell him. "I just hate that we have to deal with shit like this."
"So do I, love. I know it's not easy, but we can try to make the best of it."
"I guess I should call Robin and tell her I've changed my mind; she'll be thrilled."
"She'll change her mind when she sees how unconvincing you and Ms. Bosworth will be together," Viggo chuckles.
"*If* I can get her to go along with your evil scheme," I remind him. "At the very least, you and I could always piss her off by coming out someplace very public.
He snorts. "Yeah, like the White House Lawn or something."
"I somehow doubt that would go over well with a number of people," I laugh.
"Exactly." He grins and kisses me, his hands gently stroking my back. "Feeling any better?" he asks when he pulls away, briefly nuzzling my nose.
"Yeah, but . . ."
Viggo frowns and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "But what?"
"I could use a few more of those kisses," I tell him with a smile.
