Mood:
mischievious
ok, here is some lovely litature for all of those visitors who hit up your blog. feel free to c & p this into your xanga; douglas should have a similar story up pretty soon. they go with MPEG 003 (me being chased by a bee) so read and watch that, or vise versa.
here's the doc.
?Whoa.? Gasped Elliot at the incredible landscape that stretched before him. In this vast farm land-like area grew thousands of little monkeys, hanging by their tails from roots, hoping that a passer-by would pick one up and carry him home. A tattered old wooden sign with dark aging marks and scraggly old red lettering that said ?Monkey Farm? sat atop two poles that looked like they were once part of a lamppost. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of monkeys sat lined up in perfect rows, an incredible phenomenon of nature. Elliot never knew such things existed.
Elliot first came across these monkeys when he and his family had traveled to the very small unknown Mediterranean Island called Thog for fall break. People worshipped cantaloupe on this strange island, and often sold strange things to the few visitors they got. Although the economy was nowhere near the technology we have today, the people were twice as happy and carefree as any other nation. Crime rates were about as low as the amount of people that worshipped Honeydews instead of cantaloupe. And considering all those people were executed, the amount of those guys was not many. A bee the size of an apple chased Elliot, and because of it he had ended up away from the tour and everyone else who didn?t worship cantaloupe. In the never-ending sea of trees of the deciduous forest, there lay a single plot of open land, filled with monkeys that hung by their tails from roots like pumpkins; a plant that was also held in high regard. After the bee the size of an apple left and the elephant the size of a peanut got off his foot, he moved forward into the monkey farm, only to be stopped by a man wearing a mask that was painted well? like a monkey! ?Where is your license an registration?? My hooza hooza what-what?? replied Elliot in bewilderment. ?Your ID silly boy!? he replied. ?Wait, I need a license to go into this farm?? inquired Elliot. ?That would seem to be the case. Now would you please hand me your card so I can swipe it through my computer?? replied the man, growing more impatient. ?Whoa.? Said Elliot. The man became rather annoyed; he could tell that Elliot thought that his people were very, very primitive. To make the young boy think otherwise, he pulled out a giant stick. He pointed the big stick at poor Elliot, and blew a big whistle. Then he chanted, ?Harvesting the monkey farm, harvesting the monkey farm, harvesting the monkey farm!? and the evil monkey minion?s eyes glowed red. Deep, dark, red. The evil monkey minions bore fangs the size of the elephant that had rested on his shoe earlier. He ran. And did that boy RUN. He was flying out the door, is hair flying in 567 different directions as his big shoes dug into the loamy soil. The monkeys howled as they grew closer to the fleeing child. The Evil monkey theme from The Wizard of Oz rang in his head, and he was pretty sure he heard a monkey chant ?O-ee-o, o-eeeeee-o? in the background of all the other bits of obnoxious howling. But he kept running until he looked through the clearing and saw a swarm of monkeys racing toward him, closing in, jaws hanging open, ready for the kill?
And that?s about when he woke up with a scream on the front steps of the Schimilfenig Library with a start. Poor Elliot, he instantly started running as fast as he could. He thought he saw another one of those bees. Of course, his good friend Douglas had caught it all on tape, the only reason he had his camera out was because he was recording Elliot asleep on the steps, talking about ?monkey minions? in his sleep. He figured it would be a good laugh for all of his other friends, but the ending made Douglas happy to have had such perfect timing. Of course, the next day in 7th period English class, Douglas stole his idea for writing about the stupid video, so Elliot wrote about ?The Wonders of Helping the Old People: A Fall Break Story.? As anyone can imagine, it was not very exciting, and slightly difficult to write. But hey, how often does one get the privilege to dream about strange evil monkey minions on a silly island in the middle of silly nowhere running from silly elephants and silly bees? I bet you haven?t, and I bet Elliot never will again. That night, Elliot dreamed of weird orange people that attacked the ?yield? signs next to the highway exit ramps. On Thursday, two days after the monkey dream, he dreamed of time going backward and all the glass items in his house deteriorating. He really learned to appreciate the values of glass. Fall Break always promises twisted dreams for people like Elliot. But, the poor old kid, he never expected to be surprised with a trip to the country Thog as a surprise for getting straight A?s?
By Elliot Wright (credits not necessary)
hungry
d'oh