Genius! Brilliant! I shall use your evil plan!
*drives to the hypnotist*
Linc- I need you to brainwash a samurai!
Linc- He must break my history professor’s hip!
Man- ...I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong place. I'm a psychiatrist, not a hypnotist.
Linc- Oh. Well... Could you... you, know. Recommend one?
Linc- Preferably one with no morals and who takes cash.
Man- Maybe I should make you an appointment instead...
"After countless visits to Dr. Freud," Yamako continued, "I was finally diagnosed. It seemed I wanted to 'do the nasty' with my mother the entire time. That made me confused and sad; my mother was dead for twenty years. So I shot him. And I was still sad. So I shot his wife."
Kenshin- ...How did you get in the dojo?
Linc- I'm more interested to know how I got to the 1800's...
Kenshin- Er... yes?
Linc- Aoi told me I should get you hypnotized so you could break my history teacher's hip!
Kenshin- Why would I want to do that, de gozaru yo?
Linc- ...who cares? ...you are getting sleepy... very sleepy...
Kenshin- I... I'm getting sleepy... that... I am...
Linc- You will break Mr. Likdenstien's hip, that you will....
Kenshin- very... sleepy... that I... Zzzz...
Linc- HEY! WAKE UP!
Linc- *shakes him violently* Wake up! Dammit!
Karou- *walks in gate* Kenshin, I-- Oh my lord!
Karou- *grabs broom* Stay back from Kenshin!
Linc- I was just leaving anyways...
Linc- OW! For Chrissakes I need that foot!! *hopping up and down madly*
Karou- Draw your weapon!
Linc- WHAT!? I don't have one! Why would I!?!
Karou- I don't believe that for a second!
Linc- I LIVE IN THE 21ST (right?) CENTURY DAMMIT! The only people that carry around bokens and swords are the mentally unstable!!!
Karou- I said draw!
Linc- *stops hopping* Jesus, this is why no one likes you!
Karou- *lowers broom* huh?
Linc- You try to hurt everyone who looks at Battousai! Love and peace! Love and peace, you wench!
Karou- Kenshin loves me!
Linc- *mutters* That's just because Sano get's paired with Saitou half the time.
Yahiko- *walks in* Here's the tofu, Krou...
Linc- Oh great! As if this couldn't get any more annoying!
Misao- *walks in* You dropped some, Yahiko...
Yahiko- What's with the broom, Racoon?
Linc- *shakes fist at the sky* STOP MOCKING ME!!!!
"After failing at my attemt to hypnotize Kenshin," Yamako replied, "I decided I may as well not waste my time-travel and get someone else to do the job."
Sano- ...so then I said to the guy, 'That ain't my horse, that's my SISTAH!'
Linc- ...I don't get it.
Sano- It's funnier if you drink sake.
Sano- Most things are...
Sano- So what can I do for you?
Linc- I need you to... fight... a guy
Sano- I see... You know I've left that life style behind me.
Linc- You did?
Sano- Yeah. Ever since the zanbatou broke...
Linc- The horse chopper?
Sano- Yeah. I wouldn't feel right fighting without it.
Linc- Well... Perhaps THIS will change your mind!
Sano- ...a white sheet?
Linc- No! What's under the sheet!
Sano- Oh my god! Is that a new zanbatou!?
Sano- WOW! Awesome!
Linc- Can you fight Mr. Lickdenstien now?
Sano- Yeah, sure! But you know my price, right?
Linc- I missed that episode...
Sano- 1,000 yen if it's a fight I enjoy.
Linc- Er. And if it's not?
Linc- ...and what if they don't pay you?
Sano- I break their legs.
"Sanosuke's prices were to high," Yamako continued. "I only had a buck seventy-five and a snickers bar. Chances were Sano wouldn't catch on before I skipped town, but better safe than sorry."
Chou- Hey boss. There's someone here to see ya.
Saitou- Who is it?
Chou- Dunno. Some chick ranting about sleepy Battousai's, needy roosterheads, and evil Racoon girls...
Saitou- ...have her killed.
Linc- I HEARD THAT!
Saitou- Do it.
Linc- AKU SOKU ZAN!
Kamatari- ...and that's today's secret word!
Saitou- What the--
Linc- Fight my unjust history teacher!
Saitou- Why should I?
Linc- ...if you don't I'll cry?
Chou- Jeez, boss...
Linc- ...I'll tell you where the rengoku came from.
Chou- The what?
Linc- That... Shishio ship or whatever.
Chou- How do you know about Shishio!?
Linc- Fan subs.
Saitou- And how do you know who sold the ship?
Linc- I'm psychic.
Linc- I read the manga you fools!
Saitou- I need a vacation...
Chou- The what?
"After giving the information about Enishi, Karou's corpse, and even the Christian saga," Yamako said, "Saitou and I headed for Mr. Lickdenstien's house."
Linc- There he is! Now break his hip!
Mr. L- What?
Saitou- Aku Soku Zan. *stabs him in the head*
Kamatari- You win a bunny!
Mr. L- ARG! *dies*
Linc- Holy shit! You killed Mr. L! ...I guess that's ok..
Saitou- Aku Soku Zan has been served.
Kamatari- Another bunny for you!
Saitou- Cut that out.
Linc- Sweet. No more history homework.
Saitou- Where do you think you're going?
Saitou- You had your teacher killed for your own selfish gain... That's rather evil.
Linc- ...BUT YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED HIM!
Saitou- *gotatsu stance* Means to an end.
Linc- Back off! I have a snickers bar!
Saitou- I doubt that will do you any good.
Linc- Oh like you have any excuse to ridicule me Mr. 'I think I'll use my belt as a whip and strangle Kenshin with my jacket.'
Saitou- That was different.
Linc- Hardly. *gotatsu stance*
Narrator: Will Yamako defete Saitou Hajime with a Snickers bar!? Find out the answer... Right now!
Narrator: No she will not!
Saitou- Aku Soku Zan.