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Genius! Brilliant! I shall use your evil plan! *drives to the hypnotist* Linc- I need you to brainwash a samurai! Man- ...what? Linc- He must break my history professor’s hip! Man- ...I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong place. I'm a psychiatrist, not a hypnotist. Linc- Oh. Well... Could you... you, know. Recommend one? Man- Uh... Linc- Preferably one with no morals and who takes cash. Man- Maybe I should make you an appointment instead... Linc- ... "After countless visits to Dr. Freud," Yamako continued, "I was finally diagnosed. It seemed I wanted to 'do the nasty' with my mother the entire time. That made me confused and sad; my mother was dead for twenty years. So I shot him. And I was still sad. So I shot his wife." Linc- KenshinKenshinKenshin! Kenshin- ...How did you get in the dojo? Linc- I'm more interested to know how I got to the 1800's...
Kenshin- Oro? Linc- KenshinKenshinKenshin! Kenshin- Er... yes? Linc- Aoi told me I should get you hypnotized so you could break my history teacher's hip! Kenshin- Why would I want to do that, de gozaru yo? Linc- ...who cares? ...you are getting sleepy... very sleepy... Kenshin- I... I'm getting sleepy... that... I am... Linc- You will break Mr. Likdenstien's hip, that you will.... Kenshin- very... sleepy... that I... Zzzz... Linc- ....er... Kenshin- ZzZzZz... Linc- HEY! WAKE UP! Kenshin - zzzzzz... Linc- *shakes him violently* Wake up! Dammit! Kenshin- Zzz... Karou- *walks in gate* Kenshin, I-- Oh my lord! Linc- ... Kenshin- zz... Karou- *grabs broom* Stay back from Kenshin! Linc- I was just leaving anyways... Karou- HI-YA!!! Linc- OW! For Chrissakes I need that foot!! *hopping up and down madly* Karou- Draw your weapon! Linc- WHAT!? I don't have one! Why would I!?! Karou- I don't believe that for a second! Linc- I LIVE IN THE 21ST (right?) CENTURY DAMMIT! The only people that carry around bokens and swords are the mentally unstable!!! Karou- I said draw! Linc- *stops hopping* Jesus, this is why no one likes you! Karou- *lowers broom* huh? Linc- You try to hurt everyone who looks at Battousai! Love and peace! Love and peace, you wench! Karou- Kenshin loves me! Linc- *mutters* That's just because Sano get's paired with Saitou half the time. Karou- What? Linc- Nothing. Yahiko- *walks in* Here's the tofu, Krou... Linc- Oh great! As if this couldn't get any more annoying! Misao- *walks in* You dropped some, Yahiko... Linc- ... Yahiko- What's with the broom, Racoon? Karou- er.. Linc- *shakes fist at the sky* STOP MOCKING ME!!!! Goose- Quack. "After failing at my attemt to hypnotize Kenshin," Yamako replied, "I decided I may as well not waste my time-travel and get someone else to do the job." Sano- ...so then I said to the guy, 'That ain't my horse, that's my SISTAH!' Linc- ...I don't get it. Sano- It's funnier if you drink sake. Linc- Oh. Sano- Most things are... Linc- ... Sano- So what can I do for you? Linc- I need you to... fight... a guy Sano- I see... You know I've left that life style behind me. Linc- You did? Sano- Yeah. Ever since the zanbatou broke... Linc- The horse chopper? Sano- Yeah. I wouldn't feel right fighting without it. Linc- Well... Perhaps THIS will change your mind! Sano- ...a white sheet? Linc- No! What's under the sheet! Sano- Oh my god! Is that a new zanbatou!? Linc- ...sure... ELSEWHERE Cloud- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sano- WOW! Awesome! Linc- Can you fight Mr. Lickdenstien now? Sano- Yeah, sure! But you know my price, right? Linc- I missed that episode... Sano- 1,000 yen if it's a fight I enjoy. Linc- Er. And if it's not? Sano- 10,000 Linc- ...and what if they don't pay you? Sano- I break their legs. Linc- ... "Sanosuke's prices were to high," Yamako continued. "I only had a buck seventy-five and a snickers bar. Chances were Sano wouldn't catch on before I skipped town, but better safe than sorry." Chou- Hey boss. There's someone here to see ya. Saitou- Who is it? Chou- Dunno. Some chick ranting about sleepy Battousai's, needy roosterheads, and evil Racoon girls... Saitou- ...have her killed. Chou- Er... Linc- I HEARD THAT! Saitou- Do it. Chou- ... Linc- AKU SOKU ZAN! Kamatari- ...and that's today's secret word! Saitou- What the-- Linc- Fight my unjust history teacher! Saitou- Why should I? Linc- ...if you don't I'll cry? Saitou- No. Chou- Jeez, boss... Linc- ...I'll tell you where the rengoku came from. Chou- The what? Linc- That... Shishio ship or whatever. Chou- How do you know about Shishio!? Linc- Fan subs. Saitou- And how do you know who sold the ship? Linc- I'm psychic. Chou- ... Saitou- *eyebrow* Linc- I read the manga you fools! Saitou- I need a vacation... Chou- The what? "After giving the information about Enishi, Karou's corpse, and even the Christian saga," Yamako said, "Saitou and I headed for Mr. Lickdenstien's house." Linc- There he is! Now break his hip! Mr. L- What? Saitou- Aku Soku Zan. *stabs him in the head* Kamatari- You win a bunny! Mr. L- ARG! *dies* Linc- Holy shit! You killed Mr. L! ...I guess that's ok.. Saitou- Aku Soku Zan has been served. Kamatari- Another bunny for you! Saitou- Cut that out. Linc- Sweet. No more history homework. Saitou- Where do you think you're going? Linc- ....7-Eleven? Saitou- You had your teacher killed for your own selfish gain... That's rather evil. Linc- ...BUT YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED HIM! Saitou- *gotatsu stance* Means to an end. Linc- Back off! I have a snickers bar! Saitou- I doubt that will do you any good. Linc- Oh like you have any excuse to ridicule me Mr. 'I think I'll use my belt as a whip and strangle Kenshin with my jacket.' Saitou- That was different. Linc- Hardly. *gotatsu stance* Narrator: Will Yamako defete Saitou Hajime with a Snickers bar!? Find out the answer... Right now! .
. . . . . . Linc- *dies* Narrator: No she will not!
Saitou- Aku Soku Zan. Kamatari- Hooray! Saitou- ... THE END.
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