...The Day After...


*action*

~thought~

WARNING- 3 Yaoi couples and 1 Yuri, plus really baaad jokes. Relena & Hilde bashing.


Duo- My heeeeaaaaadddd...

Quatre- Not so looouudd...

Trowa- I donít see why you guys have to be such downers all of a sudden...

Duo- Youíre just saying that Ďcause you got lucky...

Wufei- ... Go to hell...

Heero- Right... *puts down the Mrs.Butterworth he was drinking* On to the weekís agenda.

Wufei- We have an agenda?

Heero- ...We do now. Anyways, Duo, youíre supposed to infiltrate the Oz base thingy tomorrow while Quatre and I infiltrate a group-therepy meeting.

Duo- Do I haaavvveee toooooo?

Heero- ....Yes. As for the rest of you... Stay undercover.

Trowa- You mean sit around the house and get drunk off our asses again?

Heero- ...Yeah...

Quatre- No more alcohol! Weíve had enough torture...

Wufei- Some more than others...

Quatre- I know what would clear our heads!

Duo- What?

Wufei- A cold shower?

Trowa- Iím in!

H/D/Q- ......

Wufei- THIS close buddy.... *reaches for sword*

Quatre- Nunununo... A swim in the pool!

Heero- umm...

Duo- Yeah! With the high-dive!

Wufei- If it will rid me of this hangover...

Trowa- Iíll go.

Quatre- Great! ^_^ How Ďbout you, Heero?

Heero- ummm.... You guys go on ahead...

Duo- ..Heh?

Trowa- Shouldnít he be saying ĎMission acceptedí?

Wufei- Maybe beer does kill brain cells...

Quatre- Donít you want to spend time with me, Hee-chan??? *eyes start to water*

Heero- uhhh....

Wufei- Whatís the matter?

Trowa- Yeah, you can tell us.

Heero- Wwweeelll...

Duo- What is it!?! OUT WITH IT, MAN!!!

Heero- *grrr...* I CANíT SWIM, OK!?!?!

Q/D/T/W- O.O******

Quatre- Oh, Hee-chan...

Wufei- ...Excuse me for a moment. *Wufei gets up and locks himself in a closet. Hysterical laughter is heard for the next 3 minutes. Wufei comes out dignified, takes one look at Heero, smiles, and locks himself back in.*

Heero- ...

*Wufei returns some time later. Meanwhile, Duo and Trowa are sitting with their mouths open, staring... Always starring....*

Quatre- *glares at Wufei* Do you need a drink of water?

Wufei- No, actually. Iím quite refreshed.

D/T- o_o

Heero- .....

Quatre- Well donít you worry, Hee-chan! Weíll help you learn! ^_^

Heero- Dear gods no...

Duo- >=) ... Oh yes.... We will have fun...

Trowa- >=) .. This should be most impressive...

Wufei- >=) .. Eeeeexcellent....

Quatre- See Heero? ^_^

Heero- o.o*

*We join our heroes at the side of the pool. Wufei is in black trunks with Trowa inching ever closer. Duo has Ďflamingí trunks, Quatre has a Manly *cough* pink, while Trowa sports trunks with Trunks.... Iíll pause to let that set in.... Heero has green, of course, but somethingís amiss...*

Heero- NO WAY!! I DONíT WANNA LEARN THAT BAD!!!

Quatre- But itís how I learned to swim!!!

Heero- I AM NOT WEARING ORANGE FLOATIES!!!

Quatre- But they say ages 3 and up!!!

Duo- *snickers* heh heh heh... *a bullet whizzes by his head.*

Heero- *Lowers gun a little....* Any more smart asses out there?

W/T- O.O*

Quatre- I can see this isnít working...

Wufei- Iím real proud you figured that out...

Quatre- Anyone else care to give a try?

Wufei- Ha! Floaties are for the weak. (Linc: I love that line.)

Quatre- ....right.. Duo?

Duo- *looks up* Oh, Iím sorry. Iím still looking for my missing piece of earlobe.

Quatre- ..... Trowa?

Trowa- Iíll teach him. The only way I know how. The way a lion teaches it's young.

Heero- Heh?

Trowa- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *lets out a mighty squeal, er, yell*

Q/W/D- O.O

Trowa- *starts a running tackle at Heero*

Heero- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?!?

*Trowa makes contact with Heeroís abdomen, and the two are sent hurtling over the water. The next few seconds go by sllllooowwwwllllyyy....*

Quatre- Heeeeeeee......rrrrrooooooo!

Wufei- Trrrroooowww....er....

Duo- Myyyy....saaaaannnn....ddddwwwiiiiiccchhhh!

*Everythang speeds back up, and a splash is heard and formed, drenching Duoís meatball sub.*

Q/W- ....

Duo- NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! WHY!?! OH WHY GOD!?!?! WHY NOT ME!?!? EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS DESTROYED!!!! NOOOO!!!! DAMN YOUUUU!!! NOOO!

*Trowa bobs back up to the surface, with Heero clasped to him, not letting go.*

Trowa- Get... Him... Off....

Quatre- Itís your own fault... *pulls them out with Wufeiís help*

Trowa- *Looks at Duo curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.* Whatís with him?

Wufei- He has a soggy sandwich.

Trowa- ...

Quatre- I prefer to think of it as mildly moist.

Heero- ...

Duo- Nooo... *sniffle* Why, oh why? *sob* Sister Hellen! I- I can see the light!

T/D/W/Q- ....

Duo- Itís s-so beautiful...

Heero- This canít be a Ďgood dayí sign...

*2 Hours later, the author pauses to watch Sailor Moon, Gundam, and DBZ. 1.5 Hours later, she returns.*

*Itís is 2 hours from where we left our boys. Duo has overcome the grief, and given Subby, the sandwich, a nice burial. Heero has dried off, and is sunning with Trowa & Wufei. Quatre, is conversing with Duo...*

Quatre- I still donít feel right about it...

Duo- Oh címon! He hasnít been in the water all day!

Quatre- Well... ok...

Duo- Great! *eeeeevil grin*

Quatre- oh dear... *follows Duo to where Wufei is sitting.*

Duo- So, Wuwu... Howís the water?

Wufei- *opens one eye* Donít call me that, Maxwell. And I havenít been in.

Duo- Oh, well we can fix that canít we Q-man?

Quatre- ^_^ yep.

Wufei- o.O

*The Arabian and American pick up the Chinese boy and proceed to throw him into an icy cold pool.*

Wufei- INJUST-*SPLOOSH!*

Trowa- Those two are so dead...

Heero- That doesnít surprise me.

Trowa- ...Wanna watch?

Heero- ....yeah

*Wufei comeís up looking pissed, with a laughing Duo & Quatre standing over him. Behind, the other two stare.... of course. What else do they ever do!?!*

Wufei- *smiles* Ok, ok... I admit that was pretty funny. Now help me out, will ya?

Quatre- Why certainly! *Grabs a hand like Duo*

Trowa- Theyíre gonna regret that...

Wufei- HA! STUPID BAKAíS!!! *Pulls in Quatre & Duo* YOU SHOULD KNOW I AM STRONG, AND WILL NOT BE CONFRONTED BY WEAK SNEAK ATTACKS!!!

*A raging water war of splashing and crap goes on. The following are excerpts from the feud.*

Wufei- DRINK PARTIALLY CHLORINATED WATER, MAXWELL!!

Quatre- OWW!!! WUFEI!! NO BITING!!!

Duo- HEY!!! WATCH WHERE YOU PUT THAT KNEE OF YOURS!!

Wufei- OW!! HE THWAPED ME WITH THE BRAID!!! THE BRAAAIIID!

Duo- QUATRE!! GET OFF OF THAT!!!

Quatre- Oops...

Wufei- WHOíS SNEAK ATTACKING NOW, EH!?!?

*Wufei jumps out of the water with two pairs of swim trunks in his hands.*

Wufei- MUAHAHA!!! FREEZE YOUR GENITALIAR!!! FREEZE I SAY!!

Heero- ....That was mildly disturbing.

*Bing-bong*

Trowa- ....... Um, a doorbell?

Wufei- Iíll get it. *Hands shorts to Heero* Hold these.

Heero- o.O

Trowa- Iíll go too! ^_^ *Skips after Fei*

Quatre- Uh, Heero... A little help?

Duo- Címon Heero!! Let us out, or I wonít be able to have kids!!!

Heero- The world would be a better place...

*At the front door. No, back door, itís more secretive. Well, actually front door. Yep, front door. Stay with it.*

Wufei- Back up, Trowa...

Trowa- awww....dang...

Wufei- *Opens door* Hello can I-AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *slams door and presses full body weight on it*

Trowa- o.O* Uh, is something wrong?

Wufei- Um, no, no... Itís just, ah, lets go back to the pool and see how the, uh, others are doing... *drags Trowa off*

Trowa- Hey! There they are! *Seeís all the other guys (now not 2/3 nekked...) standing in shock of Wufeiís scream*

Heero- Did he...

Duo- just...

Quatre- scream???

Wufei- *still backing away from the door* Me? Oh, gosh no! I mean, uh, I just-

*WHAM! The door crashes open to reveal Chinese woman with dark hair and a blue dress.*

Wufei- AHHH!!! THE LITTLE WOMAN!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Woman- Oh there you are Wufei! Itís time to come home with your wife!

H/Q/D- ....

Wufei- EX-wife, onna.

Trowa- *eye twitches* w-w- wife....

Woman- Oh, but we can work it out Fei! *steps closer*

Wufei- *makes hex sign with fingers* BACK, SHE-DEVIL!!! BACK, I SAY!!

Trowa- W-w wife...

H/Q- ...

Duo- *snicker*

Wufei- STAY AWAY, MERIAN!

Merian- But Wuuuufeeeiiii!

Trowa- W- w- wife...

Quatre- I think Trowa might have an epileptic seizure...

H/D- *laughter*

Wufei- GOAWAYSTUPIDONNA!!!

Merian- Fine. Give me one good reason why I canít have you. AND NONE OF THAT ĎYOUíRE AN ONNA AND IíM A GUNDAM PILOTí SHIT!!!

Trowa- W- w- wife...

Wufei- uhhh.... cuz, umm... I, er.. ahh... heh heh... um...

Merian- Iím waiting Wufei...

Wufei- ~NOOO!! NOT HER!!! AAAHHH!!! SHEíS LETHAL WITH A ROLLING PIN!!!~ ummm... *looks around room. Seeís a pissed Merian in front, Blushing Quatre to the left, laughing bakas behind, and Trowa to the right.* ~Oh lordy noo... Iím not going to forgive myself~

Merian- WELL!?! *Pulls rolling pin out of purse.*

Wufei- Eeep. ~Oh damn...~ Iím ummm... In love with someone else! Yeah!

Merian- Oh really? *smacks pin in her palm* They must not be as good as me to leave you alone...

Wufei- But, theyíre, uhh... here!

Merian- *blink*blink* Where?

Wufei- *Stands straight up and pulls Trowa over and keeps his hand around Trowaís waist.*

Trowa- W- w- wife.. *looks down* uhhh....

Q/D/H- ......

Merian- .... uhhh.... wait, NO!!! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!!! YOU MUST PROVE YOURSELF, CHANG WUFEI!!!

Wufei- ~DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!~ Ok... *Goes all over Trowa like kids at a 5Ę candy store, or a fangirl at a GW convention, a priest over holy water, maybe yourselfs over a yaoi fic, or perhaps a computer nerd over MAC OS X...*

Trowa- DEAR GODS YES!!! *goes, er, more like Ďdivesí in...*

Heero- Thatís proof if I ever saw it...

Duo- I think theyíre going to get rug burn...

Quatre- Why donít you do that to me anymore, Heero!?!

Duo- o.o

Heero- I thought you liked last night! *backs up so Wufei & Trowa wonít knock him over or roll on his feet*

Quatre- Good point, especially with the tounge thing and how you ben-

Heero- *ER-hem*

Quatre- ....Sorry ^_^*

Duo- Uh huh...

*Trowa and Wufei roll around on the floor for about 5 more minutes.... or, uh, more....*

Wufei- *gets up* Well, Merian. Do you believe me now?

Merian- Um, considering heís still nibbling on your earlobe and neck, yes.

Wufei- Huh? *arches his back* uh... so Trowa is....

Merian- Well, Iíll be leaving now... *leaves in a storm of rattling dust and fireworks*

Wufei- *cough* well, thanks for going along with it, Trowa...

Trowa- ...with what?

D/H- T_T

Quatre- ...right, well, Iíll believe itís time to go to sleep...

*The pilots all notice how sleeeeepppyyy they are and decide to go to bed. Or do they?*

*A braided person tiptoes down the hall.*

Duo- ~First obstacle: Get past Heeroís room.~ *tippy-toes* ~Dear gods let him and Quatre be having a very loud pillow fight...~

Quatre- HHHEEEEERRRROOOO!!!!

Duo- ~If that doesnít make me queasy....~ *tiptoes to living room and gingerly steps past Trowa on the couch. On second glance, he notices, itís just Trowa on top... and a pillow on bottom who is being called ďFeiĒ*

Trowa- Feeeiiii....

Duo- .... ~You know what, I think Iíll take the back door.~ *Runs very quickly and hops on his motorcycle, or moped. Whichever you prefer.*

*The next morning, everybody is looking happy. VERY happy. Even Duo, who has a suspicious looking red jacked with him.*

Need I talk about Monday?



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