...The Day After...
WARNING- 3 Yaoi couples and 1 Yuri, plus really baaad jokes. Relena & Hilde bashing.
Duo- My heeeeaaaaadddd...
Quatre- Not so looouudd...
Trowa- I donít see why you guys have to be such downers all of a sudden...
Duo- Youíre just saying that Ďcause you got lucky...
Wufei- ... Go to hell...
Heero- Right... *puts down the Mrs.Butterworth he was drinking* On to the weekís agenda.
Wufei- We have an agenda?
Heero- ...We do now. Anyways, Duo, youíre supposed to infiltrate the Oz base thingy tomorrow while Quatre and I infiltrate a group-therepy meeting.
Duo- Do I haaavvveee toooooo?
Heero- ....Yes. As for the rest of you... Stay undercover.
Trowa- You mean sit around the house and get drunk off our asses again?
Quatre- No more alcohol! Weíve had enough torture...
Wufei- Some more than others...
Quatre- I know what would clear our heads!
Wufei- A cold shower?
Trowa- Iím in!
Wufei- THIS close buddy.... *reaches for sword*
Quatre- Nunununo... A swim in the pool!
Duo- Yeah! With the high-dive!
Wufei- If it will rid me of this hangover...
Trowa- Iíll go.
Quatre- Great! ^_^ How Ďbout you, Heero?
Heero- ummm.... You guys go on ahead...
Trowa- Shouldnít he be saying ĎMission acceptedí?
Wufei- Maybe beer does kill brain cells...
Quatre- Donít you want to spend time with me, Hee-chan??? *eyes start to water*
Wufei- Whatís the matter?
Trowa- Yeah, you can tell us.
Duo- What is it!?! OUT WITH IT, MAN!!!
Heero- *grrr...* I CANíT SWIM, OK!?!?!
Quatre- Oh, Hee-chan...
Wufei- ...Excuse me for a moment. *Wufei gets up and locks himself in a closet. Hysterical laughter is heard for the next 3 minutes. Wufei comes out dignified, takes one look at Heero, smiles, and locks himself back in.*
*Wufei returns some time later. Meanwhile, Duo and Trowa are sitting with their mouths open, staring... Always starring....*
Quatre- *glares at Wufei* Do you need a drink of water?
Wufei- No, actually. Iím quite refreshed.
Quatre- Well donít you worry, Hee-chan! Weíll help you learn! ^_^
Heero- Dear gods no...
Duo- >=) ... Oh yes.... We will have fun...
Trowa- >=) .. This should be most impressive...
Wufei- >=) .. Eeeeexcellent....
Quatre- See Heero? ^_^
*We join our heroes at the side of the pool. Wufei is in black trunks with Trowa inching ever closer. Duo has Ďflamingí trunks, Quatre has a Manly *cough* pink, while Trowa sports trunks with Trunks.... Iíll pause to let that set in.... Heero has green, of course, but somethingís amiss...*
Heero- NO WAY!! I DONíT WANNA LEARN THAT BAD!!!
Quatre- But itís how I learned to swim!!!
Heero- I AM NOT WEARING ORANGE FLOATIES!!!
Quatre- But they say ages 3 and up!!!
Duo- *snickers* heh heh heh... *a bullet whizzes by his head.*
Heero- *Lowers gun a little....* Any more smart asses out there?
Quatre- I can see this isnít working...
Wufei- Iím real proud you figured that out...
Quatre- Anyone else care to give a try?
Wufei- Ha! Floaties are for the weak. (Linc: I love that line.)
Quatre- ....right.. Duo?
Duo- *looks up* Oh, Iím sorry. Iím still looking for my missing piece of earlobe.
Quatre- ..... Trowa?
Trowa- Iíll teach him. The only way I know how. The way a lion teaches it's young.
Trowa- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *lets out a mighty squeal, er, yell*
Trowa- *starts a running tackle at Heero*
Heero- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?!?
*Trowa makes contact with Heeroís abdomen, and the two are sent hurtling over the water. The next few seconds go by sllllooowwwwllllyyy....*
*Everythang speeds back up, and a splash is heard and formed, drenching Duoís meatball sub.*
Duo- NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! WHY!?! OH WHY GOD!?!?! WHY NOT ME!?!? EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS DESTROYED!!!! NOOOO!!!! DAMN YOUUUU!!! NOOO!
*Trowa bobs back up to the surface, with Heero clasped to him, not letting go.*
Trowa- Get... Him... Off....
Quatre- Itís your own fault... *pulls them out with Wufeiís help*
Trowa- *Looks at Duo curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.* Whatís with him?
Wufei- He has a soggy sandwich.
Quatre- I prefer to think of it as mildly moist.
Duo- Nooo... *sniffle* Why, oh why? *sob* Sister Hellen! I- I can see the light!
Duo- Itís s-so beautiful...
Heero- This canít be a Ďgood dayí sign...
*2 Hours later, the author pauses to watch Sailor Moon, Gundam, and DBZ. 1.5 Hours later, she returns.*
*Itís is 2 hours from where we left our boys. Duo has overcome the grief, and given Subby, the sandwich, a nice burial. Heero has dried off, and is sunning with Trowa & Wufei. Quatre, is conversing with Duo...*
Quatre- I still donít feel right about it...
Duo- Oh címon! He hasnít been in the water all day!
Quatre- Well... ok...
Duo- Great! *eeeeevil grin*
Quatre- oh dear... *follows Duo to where Wufei is sitting.*
Duo- So, Wuwu... Howís the water?
Wufei- *opens one eye* Donít call me that, Maxwell. And I havenít been in.
Duo- Oh, well we can fix that canít we Q-man?
Quatre- ^_^ yep.
*The Arabian and American pick up the Chinese boy and proceed to throw him into an icy cold pool.*
Trowa- Those two are so dead...
Heero- That doesnít surprise me.
Trowa- ...Wanna watch?
*Wufei comeís up looking pissed, with a laughing Duo & Quatre standing over him. Behind, the other two stare.... of course. What else do they ever do!?!*
Wufei- *smiles* Ok, ok... I admit that was pretty funny. Now help me out, will ya?
Quatre- Why certainly! *Grabs a hand like Duo*
Trowa- Theyíre gonna regret that...
Wufei- HA! STUPID BAKAíS!!! *Pulls in Quatre & Duo* YOU SHOULD KNOW I AM STRONG, AND WILL NOT BE CONFRONTED BY WEAK SNEAK ATTACKS!!!
*A raging water war of splashing and crap goes on. The following are excerpts from the feud.*
Wufei- DRINK PARTIALLY CHLORINATED WATER, MAXWELL!!
Quatre- OWW!!! WUFEI!! NO BITING!!!
Duo- HEY!!! WATCH WHERE YOU PUT THAT KNEE OF YOURS!!
Wufei- OW!! HE THWAPED ME WITH THE BRAID!!! THE BRAAAIIID!
Duo- QUATRE!! GET OFF OF THAT!!!
Wufei- WHOíS SNEAK ATTACKING NOW, EH!?!?
*Wufei jumps out of the water with two pairs of swim trunks in his hands.*
Wufei- MUAHAHA!!! FREEZE YOUR GENITALIAR!!! FREEZE I SAY!!
Heero- ....That was mildly disturbing.
Trowa- ....... Um, a doorbell?
Wufei- Iíll get it. *Hands shorts to Heero* Hold these.
Trowa- Iíll go too! ^_^ *Skips after Fei*
Quatre- Uh, Heero... A little help?
Duo- Címon Heero!! Let us out, or I wonít be able to have kids!!!
Heero- The world would be a better place...
*At the front door. No, back door, itís more secretive. Well, actually front door. Yep, front door. Stay with it.*
Wufei- Back up, Trowa...
Wufei- *Opens door* Hello can I-AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *slams door and presses full body weight on it*
Trowa- o.O* Uh, is something wrong?
Wufei- Um, no, no... Itís just, ah, lets go back to the pool and see how the, uh, others are doing... *drags Trowa off*
Trowa- Hey! There they are! *Seeís all the other guys (now not 2/3 nekked...) standing in shock of Wufeiís scream*
Heero- Did he...
Wufei- *still backing away from the door* Me? Oh, gosh no! I mean, uh, I just-
*WHAM! The door crashes open to reveal Chinese woman with dark hair and a blue dress.*
Wufei- AHHH!!! THE LITTLE WOMAN!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Woman- Oh there you are Wufei! Itís time to come home with your wife!
Wufei- EX-wife, onna.
Trowa- *eye twitches* w-w- wife....
Woman- Oh, but we can work it out Fei! *steps closer*
Wufei- *makes hex sign with fingers* BACK, SHE-DEVIL!!! BACK, I SAY!!
Trowa- W-w wife...
Wufei- STAY AWAY, MERIAN!
Merian- But Wuuuufeeeiiii!
Trowa- W- w- wife...
Quatre- I think Trowa might have an epileptic seizure...
Merian- Fine. Give me one good reason why I canít have you. AND NONE OF THAT ĎYOUíRE AN ONNA AND IíM A GUNDAM PILOTí SHIT!!!
Trowa- W- w- wife...
Wufei- uhhh.... cuz, umm... I, er.. ahh... heh heh... um...
Merian- Iím waiting Wufei...
Wufei- ~NOOO!! NOT HER!!! AAAHHH!!! SHEíS LETHAL WITH A ROLLING PIN!!!~ ummm... *looks around room. Seeís a pissed Merian in front, Blushing Quatre to the left, laughing bakas behind, and Trowa to the right.* ~Oh lordy noo... Iím not going to forgive myself~
Merian- WELL!?! *Pulls rolling pin out of purse.*
Wufei- Eeep. ~Oh damn...~ Iím ummm... In love with someone else! Yeah!
Merian- Oh really? *smacks pin in her palm* They must not be as good as me to leave you alone...
Wufei- But, theyíre, uhh... here!
Merian- *blink*blink* Where?
Wufei- *Stands straight up and pulls Trowa over and keeps his hand around Trowaís waist.*
Trowa- W- w- wife.. *looks down* uhhh....
Merian- .... uhhh.... wait, NO!!! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!!! YOU MUST PROVE YOURSELF, CHANG WUFEI!!!
Wufei- ~DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!~ Ok... *Goes all over Trowa like kids at a 5Ę candy store, or a fangirl at a GW convention, a priest over holy water, maybe yourselfs over a yaoi fic, or perhaps a computer nerd over MAC OS X...*
Trowa- DEAR GODS YES!!! *goes, er, more like Ďdivesí in...*
Heero- Thatís proof if I ever saw it...
Duo- I think theyíre going to get rug burn...
Quatre- Why donít you do that to me anymore, Heero!?!
Heero- I thought you liked last night! *backs up so Wufei & Trowa wonít knock him over or roll on his feet*
Quatre- Good point, especially with the tounge thing and how you ben-
Quatre- ....Sorry ^_^*
Duo- Uh huh...
*Trowa and Wufei roll around on the floor for about 5 more minutes.... or, uh, more....*
Wufei- *gets up* Well, Merian. Do you believe me now?
Merian- Um, considering heís still nibbling on your earlobe and neck, yes.
Wufei- Huh? *arches his back* uh... so Trowa is....
Merian- Well, Iíll be leaving now... *leaves in a storm of rattling dust and fireworks*
Wufei- *cough* well, thanks for going along with it, Trowa...
Trowa- ...with what?
Quatre- ...right, well, Iíll believe itís time to go to sleep...
*The pilots all notice how sleeeeepppyyy they are and decide to go to bed. Or do they?*
*A braided person tiptoes down the hall.*
Duo- ~First obstacle: Get past Heeroís room.~ *tippy-toes* ~Dear gods let him and Quatre be having a very loud pillow fight...~
Duo- ~If that doesnít make me queasy....~ *tiptoes to living room and gingerly steps past Trowa on the couch. On second glance, he notices, itís just Trowa on top... and a pillow on bottom who is being called ďFeiĒ*
Duo- .... ~You know what, I think Iíll take the back door.~ *Runs very quickly and hops on his motorcycle, or moped. Whichever you prefer.*
*The next morning, everybody is looking happy. VERY happy. Even Duo, who has a suspicious looking red jacked with him.*
Need I talk about Monday?