Kill me, I begged and love said no
Leave me, for dead and let me go
Kill me, I cried and love said no
Kill me, I cried and love said no
-HIM

Part A: Christopher

When I got home from the café, I ran straight up to my room. Oh my god, it had been so friggin' long since I've been on a date. Jesus, how long had it been in reality? A good two years maybe? I hadn't gone on a real date since that bastard broke my heart. I didn't even want to go into that café, because I knew that he would be there. Blue Merrick, my ex-boyfriend. What a bastard. He stole my innocence. I was 14, he was 21. He didn't exactly rape me because I didn't put up a fight, but I certainly didn't give him permission to rip me apart. He was just an ignorant college drop-out then, addicted to meth, heroin, and dust. But worst of all, addicted to sex. I fell in love with him immediately. He was sitting outside of Rampage, a small record store near my high school, smoking a cigarette and painting his fingernails black. I walked up to him and said hi. He returned my greeting and from then on, we started seeing each other. Fuck... I wish I could just go back and erase that entire day. Erase Blue himself from my memory, or hell...from existence. I should've listened to my sister when she said he was too old for me, but I didn't. I kept seeing him behind her back (the two of us live alone -- we were emancipated) and it wasn't long before he took me to bed. I resisted at first, but I loved him so much that I couldn't say no. And that was it. In a split second, my innocence was gone. I was tainted by a heroin-shooting punk rocker who didn't even love me. That didn't matter to me of course, being as naive as I was. But, for all I knew back then, he loved me just as much as I loved him. I never stopped thinking that and I stayed with the mother fucker for 2 years. The wounds are still fresh. He broke up with me on his 23rd birthday. He said I was the reason he was still on drugs and still addicted to sex. Because he had a hot teenage sexpot to fuck whenever he wanted. Asshole.

I was crushed when he broke up with me. I loved him so much that my heart ached for weeks, but that day I made a vow to never go out with anyone like him again. And as silly as it may sound, I also promised myself that I would never go out with anyone who's had a relationship with him - sexual or emotional. It's just a grudge thing I guess. People tell me he's turned over a new leaf now, but just because he's not addicted to drugs and owns his own café doesn't mean shit. I'll bet he still fucks whoever he wants and sneaks shots of heroin every now and then. Once a punk, always a punk -- in one way or another.
Fuck him.

"I'm glad Ernest isn't like Blue..." I whispered to myself, digging through my closet, trying to find the right outfit to wear.
"Hey Christopher! Don't forget you have to go transfer today at 2!" My sister called, cooking something for herself in the kitchen. ARGH! I forgot!!
"Dammit.....that's right. I have to go transfer schools before Monday. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! " I kicked my doorframe, grabbed my keys, and ran out the door. Might as well get that crap over with.

It was 4 o'clock when I finally got home. It had been 1:30 when I left. Jesus, it took that long just to transfer to that stupid school. My sister had transferred to it the day before, I don't why she just couldn't transfer me at the same time. Speak of the devil, when I got home, she was sleeping on the couch. I decided not to wake her, but I didn't doubt the sound of my clunky boots going up the stairs awoke her from her slumber. Haha. Oh well~

Not two minutes after I got up to my room, the phone rang. I didn't have the phone with caller ID so I just answered it,
"H'lo?" I said, sitting on the end of my bed and yanking off my shoes.
"Christopher?" I froze. That voice...
"Blue?"
"Yeah, hi." he said, sounding a little awkward. Which, all in all he should. We hadn't spoken since the day he broke up with me.
"What the hell do you want Blue?" I demanded harshly, my hand in a balled up fist beside me.
"I just wanted to talk to you about Ernest..."
"Ernest?" My eyes widened and my knuckles suddenly turned white.
"Yeah, Christopher...I don't really think he's your type of guy." he replied, the smugness in his voice catching me off-guard. How dare he assume what my type of guy is!
"How the fuck would you know what my type of guy is?! You haven't fucking talked to me in 8 months!" I yelled, gripping the phone so hard that I thought it would crumble into a hundred pieces. Blue laughed,
"I know from a reliable source that you won't go out with anyone who's slept with me."
Aside from the fact that he had no business knowing that, my mind went directly to this question,
"What the hell does that have to do with Ernest?"
"What do you think Christopher? Jesus, I know you're not that stupid," he scoffed, annoyance tucked safely in his voice. "Anyway, believe me or not but if you don't believe me just ask him yourself. He might deny it, but hell, , I sure as fuck don't care. I'm just trying to help you out."
Silence stretched out for a couple of seconds, and then click. Blue hung up and I stood at my night stand, still clutching the phone to my ear. Ernest...had slept with Blue? Ernest is such a sweet person...why the hell would he get mixed up with someone like Blue Merrick?

I finally slammed the phone down and ran into the living room downstairs. I stood in the doorway panting as Mandee looked up at me from her spot on the couch.
"What's wrong Chrissy? Who was that on the phone?" she inquired, a worried look on her face.
"What's Ernest and Umi's phone number?" I asked, the anger in my voice still present. She picked up her purse and dug around for a minute before handing me a piece of paper with a number scribbled across it. Before she could say anything, I ran back upstairs to my room and slammed the door. I dialed the number on the paper and hoped that Ernest would pick up.
"Hello?" A male voice answered on the other end of the phone.
"Ernest?"
"Yes...who is this?"
"It's Christopher." I growled, barely able to contain my anger.
"Oh! Hi Chris. Is everything ok?" he asked, apperantly sensing that something was wrong. "Did you sleep with Blue Merrick?" I blurted out, not caring to continued the facade of pleasant conversation. Silence stretched between us for a while and the tension rose,
"How...how did you know that? I've...never told anyone about that..." The raven-haired boy stammered nervously. At that moment, I let the phone drop to the floor and I started to cry. From the floor I could faintly hear Ernest's voice come out of the phone,
"Christopher? Hello? Chris?"

Part B: Ernest

"Christopher?! Pick up the phone!" I yelled as loud as I could into the reciever but Christopher didn't answer. What the hell was going on? How did Christopher know about me and Blue...and then again...why would he even give a shit? I reluctantly put down the phone and sighed a sigh of defeat. Maybe Umi knew what was going on...
I walked downstairs to the little book shop that our family owns, where Umi was working behind the counter,
"Hey, Umi-chan?" I said, getting my sister's attention away from the Edward Lee book she was reading. She looked up at me and immediately looked distraught,
"What's wrong Ern? You look upset." Good God... I will never understand how she can just see right through me like that.
"Um, well yeah. I kind of am. It's about Christopher."
"Really? What happened? Did he call you?"
"Yeah, he asked me about Blue." I said, confusion etched onto every curve of my face.
"Blue?" she asked, cocking her head a bit. It was then I realized that I never did tell her about that night. How could I have forgotten a thing like that? I mean, really.
"Yeah, I guess I never told you about it but...Blue and I slept together once. I know he's too old for me and all that so spare me the lectures but...no one is supposed to know that. I've never told anyone that before and Christopher just called me up and asked if I had slept with Blue. Do you know anything about this?" I babbled on, hoping that Umi would know something. Anything. She looked at me with disapproval -- exactly what I was expecting -- but that quickly faded and transformed into a look of thought.
"Mandee told me that Blue and Christopher went out for two years..." she started, trying to remember everything that her friend had said about it, "and I remember her saying something about them having a really bad break up..." she paused and suddenly it seemed to hit her,
"Wait! I remember now! Christopher told Mandee that he would never go out with anyone like Blue, or anyone who has ever had any kind of relationship with Blue."
"That would explain why Chris sounded so angry at me...but how did he find out?"
"Maybe Blue saw you two together at the café and told him."
"But...why would Blue do that? I thought he and I were friends." I sighed hopelessly, confused beyond all reason. Umi shrugged and placed her hand on my shoulder,
"I don't know why he would do that, sweets, but I'm sure he's still your friend and all."
"I guess."