just for playing lol
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: coming to a theatre near u
Topic: Pepul of hate

what it feels like
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: to be me
Topic: The hatred


Do you ever wonder why the sky is blue or how you realize by the time you've gone through it all that life isn't worth it ? How time is always wasted by living and how living in a world where nobody is free can completely cost you years of searching and now when you'de look back onto your passed horizons you see there is so much to be revealed . . Im just wondering and hoping and searching I guess for a past I wish could be mine but my past becomes my present and I sit here alone in the dark for the rest of my eternity . .

Being mentally ill
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Scitzophrenia
Topic: Me , Myself , and I



Its like writing a book , its life in your own hands and sometimes you narrate it . . . Have you ever thought to yourself what pure madness was? How it was to come into being? You wonder , how? But a mad person would be the one who stands at the train station watching the train go by and thinks that the station is moving , but they know its not but it feels like it is. . they are the ones who can change moods so quickly , who can lie and feel nothing , who can pull the trigger without giving a damn. So what do they do to cure this " madness "? Some people believe you can lock it up , just so the others who aren't infected , don't become infected , as if its a disease that spreads through your emotions and physical actions . . . and then there are those out there , such as me , that don't tell anyone about there problems , may I quote myself ? " the best way to deal with problems is not letting anyone know u have any " . . which is absolutley true. Nobody will know if you don't tell them , when you do , they might look at u like your crazy , or might laugh and think your joking or tell you their deepest darkest secrets as well . . so . . scitzophrenia . . thats true madness . . there is no cure for that ,its permanent . .

Being Alone forever
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Loneliness
Topic: Me , Myself , and I


Have you ever wanted to be two people at one time? to be able to love two lovers? to be able to be a prisoner and free at the same time? wanting to balance out the good and bad times? Then one day you cut off one side . . everything can either become happy or sad . . which do you choose? The smooth course or the rough side , good or bad , right or wrong . . . everything is about choices . . isn't it? . . what do u choose? then your confused , lying to yourself , say it will all be better when it wont , confused by my theory yet? Well . . when you decide to be happy you get sadder , when u choose sad then you get too happy . .. . its never what its supposed to be , you'll never find your way , until your alone , until your independent , by yourself , until your free from this state of mind , breakdown gently , its only a matter of time till everything falls into place and unravels

Everything must come to an end
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Because of you
Topic: Symptoms : My Illness


It feels like this emptiness that fills you up and breaks you down from inside-out , it reveals itself only to find that there is and always was nothing there , You believe your thoughts , your emotions , your every peice of mind that tells you the good , but blocks out the bad , everything has a bad side , and yet we fail to notice , that this is what we're always searching for , yet when we find it , its too late , your consumed by this emptiness , these lies you've shared , this cruelty , this anger , and hatred , now that its gone , so are you . . .

What!
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Who do you think you are?
Topic: Pepul of hate


You can stop trying so hard , I am right , you're wrong. Thats the way it is , you can never be me , because no matter how cute you are I am still more beautiful , no matter how smart you are I am still the pet , no matter what clothes you wear they will always look better on me , so stop trying you'll never be the center of attention . .

Finding the happiness
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Couples . .
Topic: Symptoms : My Illness



Happiness that can be followed by another is the true happiness . . One person can make all the difference in suicides , a hug , a smile , it just might change that persons life , even if its not so significant. People in relationships can make those decisions everyday. Just think . . what would have happened to this person if I had not come along? Would they have been miserable? Or Happy? Or dead . .

Why is this thing me?
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Me , Myself , and I



Whose to say Im perfect? I cannot be a doll with everything in place , a beauty that can be preserved , not having to worry about gaining weight , outgrowing clothes , a wrinkle , makeup , or their outfit , having to find their size only to figure they've lost it and grew fatter. We cherish those we are not , we hate that which we are , our self esteem smother'd by other's beauty. When we cannot find the beauty on the inside , is when we lose the beauty held on the outside.

Many a Man
Mood:  irritated
Topic: The hatred


Its funny now when I think about it , scared of you? please , that would be a waste of time , you smile to the face then you say behind the back , you tried to say to the face , and it hit you back ten times harder , now that you're secret is exposed you have nobody left , because we watched you . . . watched you behind our backs . .

Mood:  down

Mental illness
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Symptoms : My Illness


By now I've learned the easy way of coping with problems , that is ,not letting anyone know you have any . .