Albumn Art Fake Link

Welcome to the home of all the screaming and i. This wackass website is brand new. i appoligizes for the lack of pages to amuse you with. Anyway, i hopes you enjoy our experimentation (i.e. you).

plastiQ body

THE VAULT

All contents on this page are created by, owned by, made offensive by, enjoyed by, pushed to the brink of utter monotony by, copyrighted by and affectionately reffered to as "Brenilda Bellchez" by Joe Rhoney and Paul Rhoney and an invisible leaf I found (the band members of iscream and so many other projects, [including sleepyhead, Tending to Obscure, Plastiq and Foghat] that one would have to use an abacus to know just how many. Have you ever tried to use an abacus? Those things are seriously difficult, my roommate is Japanese and he doesn't even know how to use one. Wank.), except for the ad at the very top which sponsors Angelfire who sponsors this page which sponsors us sponsoring ourselves who are shamelessly promoting things that revolve around us like the world and of course that visitor counter box... we don't know who made that nifty thing, we just use it, profusely. All rights preserved. iscream is a name created by, owned by and copyright Joe Rhoney and Paul Rhoney (the band members of iscream... sound redundant yet?). All rights preserved. No purchase necessary but we'll like you a lot more especially sprinkled with salt and fresh ground pepper and marinated over a smooth blend of juices and peanut butter. Void where prohibitated because America is the country where people don't get along and never learned how to share. I mean, that's something that we learned in kindergarden but then unlearn in high school. High school is like a cult. It's all kindza freaky! And everyone there thought we were a cult because we put fake blood on the gazibo pillars. Go figure. This website is a product of the ever lasting, ever loud, ruthlessly awkward, overly experimental (which explains our use of the vaccuum cleaner in one of our peices), way underly norm, sickeningly pretty (?), obsessively reckless, toothache sounding, all singing, all dancing crack of the world, iscream. Yes, we made our own website. Is that really so hard to believe? I mean crap man, look at that terribly unflattering logo and this long ass clause of fine print. Who else would come up with all this mental montage of on-dragging useless information to give the people of Earth something to fixate their attention on for hours and hours of mind boggling turmoil. Do you know what time it is? Don't worry, you'll soon realize you're late for class, your tea water has boiled away and your kettle is glowing red on the bottom, you've flooded your back lawn with the sprinkler (as well as your neighbors), you forgot to pick up someone from work yesterday, or somthing of the sort. No biggy. And besides, where do you get the big idea anyway? I can't seem to find it no matter how hard I look. Sometimes they give me a microphone and tell me to sing ...I usually use it orally. Well, isn't that what you do with microphones? And beavers? For shizzle though, my homedog. 24hours and drive-by just isn't enough. Because they want it now. Why do we care? Why do you bother!? I feel like a crowd disrupted. The cops came to bust it. What is that smell?!?! Are we okay now? Boy, for a second there, I thought maybe you had stopped reading this. I was really worried. What would I have done with out you? You define me, and make me real, made of more than just digital code in a digital world, and I am a digital girl. I've seen some sluttony before but that Britney takes the cake! If you've managed to recognize who is saying what throughout this entire aphibetical mix-up to this point you have a magical skill called mixibetical curpluxtench which is so existantely challanged and uncommon that no one has ever named it... well, I guess that makes me the first. But who am I?!? Anyway, if you manage to keep track of it even all the way to the end of this, that will mean you have another magical skill and I'M not even gonna name that one... whoever I am. Is that clear? I mean couldn't he have just taking the green one?!?! It's not really that bad looking if you put it in some hot egg nog and leave it in the kiln for a few days. Besides if Christmas is right around the corner someone's got him covered right? Why am I asking you?!! That's probably what you wanna know111... Oops, those were supposed to be explimation points. See what I mean. You stay up all night and expect coffee to keep you sane and you're bound to find explainations for any and all of the articles in the National Inquire. I just can't see past that. It's not worth it. It might even be something we should protest with guns a blaz'n. Sure!! Why not?! It'll give the kids something to do! You know, start a new kind of civilization on the moon since there's no clean air left on Earth. Did you know the moon actually has an atmosphere. Yeah, astronaughts could have been going up there with their helmets off this whole time and they would have come back just fine. NASA doesn't know what their talking about and Santa comes down my chimny every year to handle my gas bill. Idn't it krazy??111 DAMN, I made ones again!!! Oh boy, what a night. I think I'll go to sleep now that it's about noon. All right. It's time to get serious. Afterall the controversy has got to stop. I wear boxers. Okay? That's the final word. No ifs ands or buts. This dispute has got to end. You can go about your life now that I've settled this thing once and for all. So as an official statement we here at Iscream Int'l would care to state that obviously we will be stating something to the affect of what will for now be stated here in it's sense of officiality for the time being that we are about to say it. Furthermore, as a part of this official statement which will forever remain official and not unlikely to be ever undermined or revised by Iscream Int'l, it shall be stated that we here at Iscream Int'l will be stating obviously that which we will be stating here, which simply but not implicitively is that we are Iscream (hereafter reffered to as Iscream Int'l) the band members of Iscream Int'l and that we as Iscream Int'l will rock your ass. Also in stating that Iscream Int'l will rock your ass, Iscream Int'l does not take any responsibility whatsoever for the consequences of Iscream Int'l rocking your ass, including but not limited to the consequences that will be listed below by Iscream Int'l (hereafter still reffered to as Iscream Int'l) the band that will of course as stated above state that there is a statement to be made by Iscream Int'l that of which includes the above stated by Iscream Int'l. Iscream Int'l takes no responsibilty for the effects received by any individual, group or pet as a result of Iscream's rocking of your ass, such as hypothermia, hyporventalation, chicken pocks, diarya, sun burns and the like for the simply reason that:

a. Iscream Int'l doesn't feel like taking that responsibility.

b. Iscream Int'l just wants to rock your ass.

c. Iscream Int'l is giving fair warning that Iscream Int'l is stating impicitly that there is a statement to be made by Iscream Int'l and that the statement is of official nature, so it is not to be misinterpreted or misunderstood except by the fault of the reader whom will have to take his/her own responsibility for the misinterpretation or misunderstanding of the statement should one wish to rise conflict as a result of misinturpretation or misunderstanding of the statement which states without a doubt or any further questions, comments, alterations, or injections that it is stated and that it will remain stated and of official nature as a statement that is officially stating that it is stated as stated above or which will be stated hereafter as not only a statement made by Iscream Int'l but as an official statement by Iscream Int'l, which as has been stated several times above is officially stated.

d. it is not the responsibility of Iscream Int'l in any way, shape or form as stated above were it also states that Iscream Int'l is officially informing the reader of the statement made which is that Iscream Int'l is officially making a statement about pants and the conflicts thereof. There for the use of pants during the enjoyment, consideration, viewing, spectating, criticism, judgement, varbal abuse and/or obsessive warship of this website is highly unexceptable. Iscream Int'l does not stand for this behavior as a result of the abuse received to Iscream Int'l in the past which includes way too many people wearing pants. No exceptions will be made unless the pants worn include enough holes/openings that expose unsocially excepted body parts and large areas of skin such as an entirely exposed ass suitable for rocking.

As this is a statement of the terms and conditions of Iscream Int'l in addition to being a statement that it is to be stated, Iscream Int'l would like to state that it's terms and conditions are stated exactly as terms and conditions that have been stated. Therefore, the statement that you have just received is stated very clearly in the terms and conditions which can be found on the following website: Terms and conditions After you have been thoroughly fattened by the terms and conditions link above you may continue with this clause as instructed by Iscream Int'l. (Though nobody can really stop you from skipping the terms and conditions huh?)
Iscream Int'l and it's subordinates
Iscream Int'l is a proud sponser of the National Association Group for Better National Associating with National Association Groups Incorperated (NAGBNANAGI). NAGBNANAGI is the best in it's class thus we do everything in our power to support them in addition to supplying them with lots and lots of money, like drive by nose peircings and collective blatter movement research. It is the goal of Iscream Int'l (hereafter still reffered to as Iscream Int'l) to bring the NAGBNANAGI to the highest possible level of monopilization to better suit the requirements of a population of 6 billion people and help NAGBNANAGI reach it's prime in governmental control and world order. Though Iscream Int'l is such a reliable supporter of NAGBNANAGI, we do not possess any intension or goal to use NAGBNANAGI to take over the world with their obligation to Iscream Int'l as being so indebted to us as to owe us back. We just expect it.
In closing, I look good in red... okay, I stole that line, but it's a good one. So is "Run away"... Uh anyway, Iscream Int'l is not for sale so quit asking. Now, the worst thing about Kenny G.'s music is that everyone thinks it's jazz music. What has this world come to. Maybe it's jazz muzak or elevator music (that's why I hate elevators), but it's not jazz. I'm gonna eat some chock. You want some? Doesn't go soggy in milk! ...Um, sorry for the distraction.
Now, as a point of support and help in relaying and disclosing vital messages and information for NAGBNANAGI Isream Int'l would like to announce the following message which was sent in an email to Iscream Int'l for this purpose:

The letter to the bank below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 80 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password
will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized
Contact..
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client, Lydia B. Hodgson

HELL YEAH, YOU TELL'M GRAMMA! DAMN! I couldn't have said it better myself. I would've made myself look like a cheese fries. Oh, man. You know, it's moments like this I feel like crying on some random bums beanie until it's soaked enough to enable the pore guy to have some kind of liquid to bath with... in private. I mean I don't know about you, but I don't want to see that guy bathing. Just the thought of it makes me want to... not... think about it.

2. Iscream Int'l reuires... wait a minute are we counting anything? Oh well, if we were it probably wasn't very important. Iscream Int'l requires that you read the following message from yet another one of our many many sponsers.

If you ever have that feeling in you're nose of unpleasant cloggedness and untolerable air flow blockage often times accompanied by a runny sort of fluid requiring constant, sudden and loud inhaling through the nazal passages, you may be expiriencing the common and natural activity of ridding your body of bacterias by way of changing it into a disposable waste known as mucus or snot which is caused by a gland with the clearly determined purpose of clensing the body so as to avoid sicknesses, diseases, viruses, flues, as well as to prevent the nose from becoming too dry and deteriorating into a flaky, unsanitary, deformed, shrivling, limp, dying, disastor due to too much neglecked and not enough ad in desposing of the bacteria infested mucus (also known as burgers)... SO PICK IT!

This has been a message from the WAFFF (What Are Fingers For Foundation).

Due to the abrupt nature of Iscream Int'l's's's fine dinery services of gourmet iscream and the patients invested in you by the chipmucks of luxary shopping, Iscrem Int'l would like to apologize in advance for the following presentation:

"Happy New Years" video in progress