Puppetmaster vs The Demonic Toys Review
[Puppetmaster vs The Demonic Toys]
(Plot:A ruthless CEO of a toymaking company seeks to use Andre Toulon's formula, now in the hands of Toulon's great-nephew Robert, to give life to a line of killer toys that she plans to unleash on Christmas Eve, in order to fulfill a pact she made with a demon named Bael.)
(My thoughts:I for one was expecting a subpar yet cheesey B flick, what I got, was a 2 hour crapfest of massive proportions.)
(Review:This is the 3rd outing for the "Demonic Toys" franchise which went downhill with the conception of "Dollman vs The Demonic Toys", which compared to "Puppetmaster vs the Demonic Toys", was frikkin oscar material. For the puppets, this is their 8th outing, after two previous painfully bad installments in "Retro Puppetmaster" and "Curse of the Puppetmaster". Corey Feldman plays Robert Toulon, the nephew of Andre Toulon. He and his daughter are toymakers, and have been working on a way to recreate the family formula, which reanimates the puppets. They strike paydirt eventually, but an evil CEO named Erica Sharpe, is spying on the Toulons, and now that they have created the formula, she plans to steal it to create her own batch of living toys to do her bidding. She also needs Roberts daughter as a blood sacrifice to a red skinned demon named Bael who she made a pact with. She sends some henchmen including her unwilling assistant to fetch the Toulons formula, but they fail thanks to the puppets. However, a fire breaks out during the battle, and the puppets are severly damaged for the most part, and Robert is left to explain the whole thing to a female cop who is his love interest in the film.
Erica Sharpe is played not too badly by Vanessa Angel, and is your typical run of the mill evil corporate type, who will kill anyone that gets in the way of getting what she wants. Now that shes made this pact with Bael, he reminds her that theres not much time left before christmas morning, which is when their plan is supposed to come full circle. See, Erica has donated truckloads of toys from her new toyline called play pals, to underprivledged kids. Under the guise of bringing christmas joy to those who can't afford much this time of year. However, her true plan is to have the toys awake on christmas morning, and go on a killing spree, at her command. To do this, she needs to sacrifice the purest living Toulon relative to Bael, which is Roberts daughter Alex. This is where the demonic toys show up, baby oopsy daisy, Teddy, and Jack attack. Baby oopsy and the rest of the toys are another reason this movie sucks so much. This isn't the same cold yet witty yet vulgar character we've all come to know and love from the first 2 movies. Hes much more tamer this time around, attitude and dialogue wise. and Hes also been given a lame schtick where he farts on numerous occasions thoughout the movie. This gag isn't even funny anymore in any genre of film, and it's extremely lame the first time around in this movie. He even uses his farts to propel himself at his enemies like a toy missle, which makes the character even more pathetic. Teddy is a wuss compared to the original from "Demonic Toys". That was one vicious bear, this version of Teddy is NOT. and Last but not least, Jackattack has a sonic scream attack he uses near the climax of the film, which (I'm sure due to budget constraints) we can only hear once every 5 seconds, yet somehow the characters in the movie are being blown away by it for a full 2 minutes or so. Erica tells Bael she needs real help if he wants the Toulon girl, Bael tells her she has help in the demonic toys. Figuring she won't get the job done since the toys are misbehaved and not very willing to follow her lead, she sends another spybot (disguised as a toy ladybug) to Roberts residence. By this time though, Robert has already spotted the first spybot, which upon discovery self destructed, and is aware that Erica is spying on him, and knows what shes after. So hes taken his daughter and split for his ex wifes mansion (which shes convieniently not in since shes away in Hawaii with her new bf). When Robert goes to the Sharpe Toys company to see what Erica is up to with the knowledge shes collected by spying on him, hes spotted by baby oopsy daisy, and tries to make a run for it, but is caught and arrested by the female cop love interest. She lets him go since he seems like a nice enough guy, and it's christmas eve (Oh did I mention that during the course of the film we get this annoying only blah blah blah days/hours/minutes left until christmas morning countdown thing like an annoyingly large number of times?). I couldn't tell if I was watching a horror movie or a christmas episode of "24" on FOX. The female cop shows up later to visit him at the mansion (don't ask me how she knew out of thin air he had relocated there), but unbeknownst to her, Baby Oopsy is a passenger. He konks her out with a flashlight, and then calls Erica, who shows up later on, grabs Roberts daughter, and the puppets who at this point have been rebuilt with the lamest looking of upgrades (and people said Uber jason looked bad). Robert goes to Sharpe Toys to rescue his daughter. Erica offers him to impregnate her with the last of his bloodline before he kills him and his daughter but he turns her down, and is left to be watched by some of her goons. The female cop finally wakes up and heads off to save Robert (again magically knowing where he is out of thin air). The puppets escape their holding cell, free Robert, but encounter Jack attack. So is the battle between the puppets and the toys atleast the one bright spot of this bad movie? Well...NO. The fight scenes are actually the worst part of the film. It literally looked like children were at play in a room rather than professional adults creating the on screen illusion of a battle between two groups of toys.
Anyways, Jack is killed by Jester who punches him out cold into a wall, Blade makes short work of Teddy, Baby Oopsy is killed by Pinhead (sort of actually both die). Erica failed in her plot, so Bael (who shows up at the end sporting a santa outfit) takes her back with him to hell. Then Feldman, and the actresses who played his daughter and the cop have a laugh at how their careers are in the toilet (especially Coreys), and how desperate they must've been for a paycheck to even consider let alone take part in making this piece of crap, and thats all she wrote. After it was all over, I was upset I divided my time between the Falcons/Panthers game to watch this junk.)
(Pros:I liked the idea they had of a whole army ofkiller toys waking on christmas morning, but leave it up to SCI-FI to create a decent enough plot device, and surround it with utter crap thus screwing it all up. Bael was kind of cool for the limited time he had on screen. Vanessa Angel looked hot as always. I also liked the running gag where Erica kept taking her virginal receptionists down to her dungeon telling them they were gonna meet with the board of directors, when in reality, they were just gonna be virginal sacrifices for the toys and Bael. It was quite funny.)
(Cons:Where do I start? The acting, the characters, the fact that the puppets and toys alike looked like crap, the bad dialogue, stupid script, terrible fight scenes between both groups the toys and puppets alike, the annoying (only such and such time left til christmas morning) running gag, the unnecessarily changed personalities of the demonic toys and the puppets. Everything failed to work in this movie.)
(Overall:A disgrace to both series. and A total failure as a horror film. SCI-FI treats us to another crapfest. Thanks alot guys!*rolls eyes*.)