Every nice guy has been there at one time...pining every night for that one-of-a-kind girl who has relegated you to "best friend" status.

You are the one who is there to watch her neanderthal boyfriend mentally (or even physically) stomp her into a puddle, and you are there to watch her go back every time for more.

You are sick of hearing, "If you could only see how sweet and kind he is when we are alone" and thinking, "but what about how sweet and kind I am ALL OF THE TIME?".

She comes to you because you listen, and you sympathize, unlike The Cretin to whom she has professed her love. "Don't ever change", she tells you. Of course. If you changed, she'd have to find someone else to provide a shoulder to cry on.

I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're only there to provide a service, and you're providing it for free. She knows it. That's why she compliments you on being a gentleman so often. It keeps you around. It makes YOU think that she is taking notice, and that you are scoring points with her that might be redeemed in the future for her affection. Forget what you see in the movies, dumbass. You couldn't be more wrong.

Why would she want to change anything when she has the best of both worlds already? She has her stormy, excitement-filled relationship with The Cretin, with whom she can have constant turmoil and hot monkey sex and pretend to be a woman from a romance novel, yet she also has you...the reasonable, logical, stable voice that comforts her every time the gorilla gets grouchy. While women crave drama, they also crave stability, and if they can't get it from The Cretin, they'll get it from you. But, this means that they get it all, at your expense.

"But this girl is different", you say. Go ahead and punch yourself in the face right now. Hard. You deserve it. If she truly were different, then why does this sound so familiar to you? No. She's not different. I know. You are blind, because you love this girl so much that you refuse to see anything negative in her. You believe her every word...you justify her twisted logic. You go along, because you have been taught that this is the best thing you can do.

She's playing you, dude, and it's your fault because you're letting her. She NEEDS you, but she WANTS him, and she knows this, so she plays you both. You're getting the short end of the stick, though, because it is he with whom she goes home every evening, even though you may be treating her much better than he is.

I can't tell you the number of times I've been a girl's best friend and been privy to all the bad things she's had done to her. People think that this is the "inside line"; as if you'll be the logical choice when the caveman is finally done with her; that it will only be a matter of time before she wakes up and realizes that what she wants has been standing right in front of her all along. Just provide a stark contrast by being a nice guy and everything will work out in your favor.

Let me make this easy. She won't wake up and notice you. She's already fully aware of you and she stays with him.

It isn't an accident, an oversight, or a mistake. She's not days or hours or minutes from reaching an awakening and turning from him to you. Listen carefully, because you're not going to like what I have to tell you next, even though in your heart, you know it is true:

SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON AND SHE'S OKAY WITH IT!

Not JUST okay with it...she actually PREFERS it this way.

Slap yourself on the face a couple of times, breathe deeply, and let that sink in.

If you are at this point with "your" girl, then there's some bad news. It may already too late for you. If you don't believe me and are ready to dismiss everything I am saying, stop reading and bookmark this page. Come back in six months. You'll be ready then.

I say this with confidence for one reason: it is virtually impossible for a man to make the transition from best friend to more than a friend. I have never done it. At best, you will only manage to continue being the shoulder that she thought she needed, and you won't be any happier having a front row seat to the spectacle of seeing someone about whom you care being destroyed by a man totally undeserving of her. At worst, you will have made the person into an enemy. If you get angry, tell her off, and stomp away in protest, she won't replace him. She'll replace YOU.

Even though it may seem that you are the logical choice for her when she finally decides to cast off her present knuckle dragger, you have to realize that women don't really use logic when making relationship decisions. If they did, she would have been with you in the first place. Of course, there might be exceptions, but most of the time, the same people who accuse men of thinking with the thing between their legs are themselves guilty of thinking with their "heart". Neither of these organs can process logical thought.

Women like turmoil. Women CRAVE controversy. If you don't believe this...look at women's entertainment. Watch a half hour of Lifetime (just don't let your friends catch you). Watch soap operas. Read one of your mom's romance novels. Notice how these fictional guys act...nice one minute, explosive the next. A happy ending is when a guy who has been a total jerk for the ENTIRE episode/chapter/movie suddenly does ONE NICE THING for the girl, who is a heroine because she "stands by her man" and tolerates his childish, immature behavior.

Yep. If you're trying to get that girl by being nice, caring, thoughtful and generous, you're unwittingly turning her off in the worst way.

It is hard to ignore everything that you've always thought to be true. But, I am reminded of the episode of Seinfeld where George does the opposite of everything that he's ever done ("If every instinct that you've ever had has been wrong, then the opposite must be right!").