The reason women seek aggressive, difficult men is because they realize that they will have plenty to keep them busy. And women like to be busy, especially when they can be busy meddling in your personality. This is where the nurturing side comes in.

Think of your own mother. Why did she kick you out of the house when you grew up? Because you didn't need her anymore. There wasn't anything for you to do; you were equipped with everything that you needed to survive in the world on your own. In essence, part of a mother's love for her children is trying to mold and shape them into the kind of person that they want them to be. Once you became the person you are now, the challenge was over for dear old Mom. She couldn't change you anymore, so she set you free (or, kicked your ass out, as the case may be). A disclaimer: if you still live with your parents, none of what I say applies. Find yourself an apartment before reading further.

The same applies to relationships. When the woman sees nothing wrong with you, the relationship is over. She needs to feel needed, even if you don't really need her, or you don't even acknowledge that you need her. Remember, if you need her too much, she'll become insecure with you (crazy, ain't it?).

Yet, she still has to find a man who is imperfect. Not a slobbering, whining, sissy type of "imperfect". No, she wants a manly, unrefined type of "imperfect". She wants to "take the edge off" of a guy, but she knows she can never do the opposite and make a wimpy guy into a hero.

Especially good is a man who doesn't KNOW he's imperfect, because then she has twice the work to do; not only does she have to FIX his problems, she has to convince him that he HAS problems first (remember, if you're easily convinced, then you're not going to make her feel secure). She'll be busy for years if you do this right.

If you have been called a "nice guy" or ever been told that she didn't want to ruin your "friendship" by dating you, you've presented yourself as being perfect, and you've ruined everything. You aren't a challenge.

So, guys with problems (at least what women perceive to be problems) are ideal for women to display their nurturing side. Women call this "civilizing" their man.

What do women perceive to be problems? Often, things you've never even thought of. Some of these are better than others:

Messiness and disorder, no matter how minor, is a problem. (Remember the stereotype about a single man who keeps his place meticulously clean...?).

Not wishing to talk about your feelings with her is a problem.

Bad habits are problems (having a beer or occasionally getting a little tipsy, smoking a cigarette, using foul language, etc. - I'm not talking about full blown addictions or compulsions...those suggest a loss of control. I'm talking about occasional behaviors).

Not calling/texting is a problem.

Hanging out with your rowdy friends and not her is a problem (In her eyes, getting you to stop hanging out with them is "liberating" you from the terrible life you had before you met her).

The trick is, never allow her to fully fix your "problems". She doesn't WANT to fix your problems. When you're in a relationship, you should be hearing things like, "I wish you expressed your feelings more," or "How come you didn't call me last night?" or "Have you been smoking?" or other similar phrases.

She wants to tame you and make you a good little boy, but she should never be able to fully. If she does, her work here is done, and she'll be moving on. Think about it...if you never do anything bad, then how can you be anything but a nice guy? So, give at least some resistance whenever she tries to change you. She doesn't want it to be easy. And, backslide often. An anecdote from real life...a girl I know actually told me that her husband went to a strip bar on her birthday. She bitched and moaned to me about this, but confided that she loved him as much as she ever did.

If more guys knew this, then more guys could be in relationships and occasionally indulge in things they thought were dead to them (although, I wouldn't recommend the strip bar on her birthday, at least not at first). Remember, she knew about most of these things before she met you. She didn't choose to be with you in SPITE of them, she chose to be with you BECAUSE of them. The "bad" things were attractive to her, and to a degree, they still are.

You do have to give a little. Spending ALL of your time with your friends and none with her will make her insecure. Drinking until you're sloppy every night will make her insecure. You get the idea.

Also, don't do these things to get back at her. For example, never say, "I'm smoking because you nag me all the time." That's a sign that she's rattled you and you feel the need to get the upper hand. If you've done everything right, you already HAVE the upper hand, and doing things to "get back" at her tells her that you aren't sure you are in control. It should appear that you just take it for granted that you are in control (even if you aren't sure). Remember, do these things because, occasionally, you WANT to. Just say, "I felt like having a cigarette."

Occasionally, straighten yourself up in one of these areas, then revert to your old behavior. That way, she'll be ready to swoop in and save you from yourself (remember, sometimes women like to be the heroines, but only from a "mom's" point of view).

You're right...this is a little creepy, but it is true. Women are set up to be mothers from birth. If they don't have kids of their own, then you'll have to do for now. But, don't allow her to take care of you completely...remember, you're the man, and you need to keep acting like it, by resisting her efforts. Women love to be altruistic, and they will feel even better about themselves if they believe they're doing something over your resistance because it is "for your own good". Let them think that if they want, but never let it be the truth.

All the other rules still apply. You still have to be decisive, commanding, and in control. But, you can occasionally let your guard down just a bit to allow her mothering instinct to take over. Women love to try to change a man to make him into the kind of guy they wouldn't date (yep, it's silly, but just play along with it). Never quite let them succeed.