8.04.2002

The 2002-03 schedule has been released!

7.17.2002

The owner of Jason Likes Small Boys, Jason has finally submitted his official team name.  The Horny Priests will be suiting up this fall.  This act gets Jason off of Probation.

7.11.2002

The Comissioner's office has located the memo with Scott's team name on it.  Hence forth, Scott's team will be known as the Polymorphic Pasafists.  Oo..

In other news, Jason B., the owner and GM of Jason B.'s Team has yet to announce a team name.  This after many inquiries by the Comissioners office, and multipule deadlines to submit team names.  In responce to this, Derrick has decided to name Jason's team for him.  Hence forth, Jason's Team will be known as Jason Likes Small Boys.  Jason is now in a probationary period where he can rename his team, but this period lasts only 3 weeks.

7.03.2002

Okay, a lot has happened since the last site update.  Well, not really.  Scott's team announced a team name, but the comissioner lost the piece of paper it was on, and The Mossters announced some of their coaching staff, however, the comissioners office failed to realize this until going back through their old mail piles.  A full update will ALL of the new information will come soon.

4.22.2002

The NFL draft is all done!  That being said, there is news out of The Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck club house.  Garret has announced the addition of two new personel positions.  Teaching people to play in hot weather coach, to be filled by Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro.  Also, in what appears to be a preventitive matinence position, the new Beating your wife to death and getting away with it coach is to be filled by OJ Simpson.  However, after much deliberation following the announcement of the OJ's new position, it was deemed that his role would be called Public Relations director instead of Beating your wife to death and getting away with it coach.

Following this move by Garret, Derrick found it was in his teams best interests to add a public relations director as well.  Derrick hired Charles Barkey to fill this role.

4.16.2002

There has been no news coming from the teams over the last few weeks as everyone focuses on the circus we call the NFL Draft.  Most owners, and teams are spending their time going through player profiles and examining mock drafts hoping against all hope that stud offensive talent goes to teams with successful pre-existing offenses like Moss did a few years ago, rather than stud players ending up on crappy ass teams like Warrick did with Cincy a few years ago.

So fear not, news will happen, just after the NFL draft.  But until then, if you don't know the difference between Antonio Bryant and Ashley Lelie, get to work!  There are mock drafts everywhere to sift through, and everyone says the Vikings will take Denny Green to be the new offensive tackle.  No, not really, but I figure at his size.. comon!  Mike Tice had to be dreaming of it.

Dispite the lack of news, rumors are heating up!

3.26.2002

The vote is over.  The owners have voted and it has been ruled by a vote of 6 yeas - 0 nays that conference alignment will be decided by coin flip.  If you didn't vote yet, it is a moot point fore it will not matter.  I will randomly draw an owners name from a hat.  I will then flip a standard US quarter dollar with heads denoting eastern conference, and tails denoting the western conference.  Here we go..

The first name selected in the 2002 DWFFL conference alignment is; Brain D. - tails (west) will be the first team to join the western conference. Second chosen is, Derrick W. - heads (east) will be the first in the east.  Jason H. - tails (west) joins Brian in the west.  Todd M. - heads (east) is an immediate rival of the comissioner in the east.  Jason B. - heads (east) makes the east the toughest in terms of ownership thus far.  Tyler C. - heads (east) joins the tough east.  Scott M. - tails (west) suddenly makes the west a formidable conference.  Owners Derrick and Jason B. are sad to loose such a heated rival.  Ben U. - heads (east) joins the east as the final team.  By default Garret H. and Heather M. are assigned to the west.

The Conferences are as follows..

East: Obligatory Nude Scene, The Mossters, Jason B.'s Team, Mr. Bob, Spankingly Delicious.

West: I Try When I Want To, Silent But Deadly, Scott M.'s Team, The Flying Monkees, The Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck.

Astounding news out of Garret's Teams headquarters today.  Along with the additions, subtractions and readitions of various personel, they have also come up with a name.  Hence forth, Garrets team will be not known as Garrets Team but rather, The Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck.  Intreaguing.

Terry Jones was fired today as the Pro Personel Director for Garret's Team.  Here is the official press release regarding the issue. More..

I have decided to cut Terry Jones as my Personel Director and will be replacing him with Confucius. We at the head office feel that it would be benificial to have a person that knows alot about nothing in the coaching staff. Thank you for your attending this versitile conference at the City Wok.

-Garret's Team head office

Owner of Garret's Team, Garret, today announced his coaching staff.  The staff includes Jimmy Page, John Bohnam, Roger Waters and Terry jones just to name a few.  "I find it odd that you are making one person(Coach Waters) do the coaching of the Kicker, TE and Defence that seems rather cruel." Garret said earlier today after the announcement. More..

3.25.2002

It was announced with great pride today, that the DWFFL is officially full!  The final expansion spot in the DWFFL was filled by Owner/GM Garret who is a long time co-worker of comissioner Derrick.  Team name and coaching staff to come.

3.21.2002

Just a few hours after announcing he was a new expansion owner, Jason H. announced his team is to be named Silent But Deadly.  The new name has struk fear in the hearts of many owners already. "..Silent But Deadly?  Thats not good! I don't wanna die.  I'll never be able to eat peas again if I die!" Ben was quoted shortly after the announcement.

News.  Two days in a row you say.  Early this morning Comissioner Williams announced has has hammered out deals to get three of the four remaining spots in the league filled.  Scott M., Jason B., and  Jason H. have all come to terms with Derrick to expand into the DWFFL.  All three teams are yet to work out their organizational aspects.