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Central Division: Obligatory Nude Scene | Silent But Deadly | Sweet Sister Mercy | The Horny Priests Eastern Division: That One Team | The Mossters | The Flying Monkees | Pog Mo Thon Western Division: The Showstoppa's | La Revolucion | Me So Howrnee | Boon Dock Saints
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2003 Off-season news archive 08.16.2003 (Summer Meeting) News Tonight was the expansion draft, rookie draft and player auction. Look at "The Draft" page to see rookie and expansion draft results. Transactions Right before the rookie draft there was a trade.
08.15.2003 News Due to some event that to this day baffles the mind of the commissioner, just days before the auction Garret announced he was leaving the league. By doing so he nearly forced me to cut a team which would have been a disaster. To make a long story short, two consecutive years of backing out of the league on the eve of the draft is far to annoying. He will not join this league. It was a matter of money.. then a matter of scheduling.. even as of last weekend he said he'd play assuming he could get the league fee lowered, which I did briefly. Then on Monday.. I got an e-mail saying "I'm out chief". That was it. So after scrambling I managed to find a new owner. Welcome our new team lead by Gary. His team will be known as Mee So Howrnee. 07.26.2003 (CUT DAY) All teams have gotten below the cap with enough space to make all necessary moves. Also, all franchise tags were designated. Transactions Its cut day and there have been some major moves. First, the trades. The first trade announced today was between The Mossters and Silent But Deadly.
This is the second major RB deal that these two teams have done this year. Just shake your head. Sometimes the commissioner even wonders if Todd trades just so he can have fun making moves. The Second trade of the day was between Pog Mo Thon and Sweet Sister Mercy. It is a bit of an odd deal.
The third and final trade of the day was between The Horny Priests and That One Team.
There were also massive cuts made. The first of the cuts were made last night by the Showstoppa's.
Silent But Deadly got to cutting as well.
Pog Mo Thon kinda freaked out with the roster drops too.
Not to be out done, the Boon Dock Saints wanted to make sure he set a record of consecutive days with a roster move.
The Flying Monkees waited till the last minute to get to dropping as well.
The Horny Priests got to cutting today too.
That One Team was the final team to get cutting...
Finally, the other issue to be itemized would be the franchise tags that protect players from the expansion bitches. The Mossters:
Pog Mo Thon:
La Revolucion:
The Flying Monkees:
The Horny Priests:
That One Team:
There are some major implications for the expansion draft, auction, rookie draft and cap space.. so look at the capsules in order to figure it all out. 07.25.2003 Transactions Today was a furious day for transactions. In what is an obvious attempt to take on a record amount of payroll prior to cut day, The Horny Priests have made a trade with the Flying Monkees who continue to maintain their 20 man roster while still lowering cap space. Amazing.
This deal balloons Jason's cap number to $95 over while Heather cuts down a little further and is only $49 away despite having 21 players on payroll. In another trade that was made today, The Showstoppa's have made a concerted effort to have Ricky Williams on payroll, whether it be a portion of his salary like last year, or in full like now.
This trade trades back the 2004 2nd rounders that both teams exchanged last week in a trade. This move gives Todd $46 in cap space while Neil looses ground and sits at $29 away. The Boon Dock Saints will not go a day with out some kind of move. The cuts:
These moves get Greg nearly $30 under the cap. 07.24.2003 Transactions With about 60 hours before the cut down deadline, moves are becoming furious. In the worst trade of the season so far, Todd got Michael Bennett from Beth. 24 hours later Bennett was injured. He is now cut.
There has also been a trade today. Lots of trades have been made. It must be the cool thing to do.
I'm not even going to talk about the salary ramifications. Both are still too far away. 07.23.2003 Transactions It has been a busy day today in the DWFFL as a number of teams have gotten down to cutting and trading. First out of the gates was La Revolucion which made one cut to get $47 under the cap. The cut:
Next, the Boon Dock Saints cut Keyshawn Johnson after he was seen hitting on Trish Stratus much to the chagrin of management.
Finally when it comes to the release of players, Silent But Deadly got in on the action. The cuts:
Franchise Player tags have been given out by Silent But Deadly..
There has also been a couple trades made. The first involves The Boon Dock Saints and Silent But Deadly in what amounts to a blockbuster deal that shifts power in the league.
The deal gets Jason to $25 under after all his moves. Both players are protects by draft the draft pick protection provision. The other deal also involves the Boon Dock Saints. They have swung a deal with The Mossters.
Once the dust has settled from this deal, Todd has $27 in cap space. Greg meanwhile, after all of the deals and cuts are factored, is still $6 over. Greg will protect Smith with the draft pick protection provision while Todd protects Stallworth. 07.22.2003 Transactions La Revolucion has gotten under the cap by releasing a plethora of players. The now sit with $37 dollars in room. The cuts:
Another team gets under that cap. And the peasants rejoiced. YAY. The Mossters have gotten $12 under the salary cap. The cuts:
There was a trade in the league today between The Horny Priests and The Flying Monkees. The deal:
Yeah.. so the deal is a bit strange. Salary figures are unchanged. In one other move. Sweet Sister Mercy apparently forgot that the point of a keeper league is to groom young rookies into top notch talent. After dumping both picks this year that included the first overall, they have now dumped their second rounder next year. The Trade:
07.21.2003 News The Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck have made a few coaching moves. Transactions The Boon Dock Saints have released a couple players and have gotten to within $8 of the salary cap. The Cuts:
07.18.2003 News Neil J., owner of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force has opted out of the DWFFL. His franchise has been given to Greg C. who was a coach onboard expansion Sweet Sister Mercy. Obviously he has resigned from his duties on the team in order to take over. Once ownership was announced, Greg announced sweeping changes for last years worst team. The only thing unchanged are the players and the head coach. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force is no more. They are now the Boon Dock Siants. Transactions There was a trade announced on Friday. It's a rather strange deal.
The relative salary cap ramifications are small in that both teams remain about the same. The Boon Dock Saints have announced their franchise player protection tag recipients.
Suprise... yawn. 07.15.2003 Transactions Obligatory Nude Scene is the first team to designate franchise players. Expansion protection is designated to 2 players per active roster. Derrick's selections:
The Showstoppa's have also designated their two players for protection. Neil's franchise players are:
07.14.2003 News Reminder: ALL FINAL ROSTERS ARE DUE JULY 26. Transactions Obligatory Nude Scene has made its final cuts of the year in order to get set for the summer meetings. The Cuts:
The moves get Derrick $68 under the cap. A fine amount of spending cash for the reigning champs. 07.08.2003 Transactions The Mossters have finally begun to cut cap space. The agreed to a trade over the weekend that will get thier numbers for the upcoming season more managable.
After the trade, Todd is $19 away from the cap and Beth falls to $76 away. 06.30.2003 Transactions More dismantling on the part of Obligatory Nude Scene. This time they have engaged in yet another trade.
Relative to the cap, Derrick has $63 in room while Heather dips further into the red at $69 over. 06.28.2003 Transactions It has been a very busy off season for the defending champions who in lieu of a pending expansion draft have been dismantling their championship team. The destruction continued Saturday as the hammered out a deal with La Revolucion.
After the move Derrick stands at $58 in cap room while Brian dips further into the red at $23 over. 06.26.2003 Transactions A slow news week has created a number of things. There were some players dropped, a head coach was signed and the blockbuster of the off season was hammered out. The first news came from The Evil Demonic Skulls camp where the announced today that they have agreed to terms with Dick Jauron to be their head coach. The Showstoppa's have cleared another $4 from their cap and are now $33 under as the have released a couple players. The cuts:
Finally there has been a blockbuster deal. It is arguably the biggest since last season.
Derrick is now $43 under the cap, Todd is way over. Does the number matter? 06.20.2003 Transactions It had been a while without any moves whatsoever. First, the Evil Skulls have hired some coaches whose official titles needed spelling clarification from "spell check". You can see those coaches on his team site. Silent But Deadly has cleared another 2 dollars and got his cap space to 3 by making a cut. The Cut:
The biggest news maker is that a trade has been made. Obligatory Nude Scene was lonely and wanted to make a deal. The Flying Monkees were willing to facilitate the itch. The trade:
With the trade, Obligatory Nude Scene gets to $34 under the salary cap. Heather remains at $64 over. 06.11.2003 Transactions The Mossters have felt a little under appreciated with the slew of moves made recently by That One Team. Desperately trying to hold onto the title of "most trade happy" Todd has gone out of his way to swing some deals. The Mossters have traded "the future" in an effort to get older. On the young side, he does get some future picks. The Trade:
The Mossters apparently didn't like their shiny new QB that much though as he sent him packing right away.
Jason also got in the cutting mood after sending his best player to the enemy by releasing another RB. The cut:
Once the dust setteld Silent But Deadly was a paltry $1 under the salary cap, The Mossters jumped back to $50 over and the Showstoppa's increased their cap space to $29. 06.10.2003 Transactions The Showstoppa's have made a move to get under the cap:
06.08.2003 Transactions That One Team has been in a state of flux during the entire off season. They have gone through a name change, a ton of personnel moves and even a coaching change. They have begun to stockpile picks in the rookie draft and now they are positioning themselves higher in the draft order. That One Team has agreed to a trade for some picks the Miami D.
06.07.2003 News I Try When I Want To has decided to change its name. That Randy Moss reference didn't prove to be much of an aid through the year. La Revolucion will now be the name of Brian's team. 06.06.2003 Transactions The defending champions have been quietly watching all the moves while pondering their own future. Obligatory Nude Scene finally made some moves though. The first of which was a block buster trade with Pog Mo Thon. The trade nets Derrick some draft picks which is important since his team was stripped of a first rounder after the Eric Moulds fiasco from last summer. In the deal Beth gets some cheap talent that is now protected from expansion. The Trade:
Obligatory Nude Scene also made some drops after news of the trade was announced. The drops will save the defending champions $61 overall against the cap. The Cuts:
Obligatory Nude Scene officially becomes the first team to get below the salary cap after the trade and drops are factored. Derrick is now $12 under the cap. 06.03.2003 News There has been much talk regarding the draft lottery and when it was to take place. General sentiment was to have the lottery sooner than later. That being said the draft lottery has been held as was the expansion draft lottery. With owners Heather, Brian and Beth present as witnesses and Beth's cheerleader Mari acting as lottery picker, the results are as follows. Regarding the order of the expansion draft:
Expansion draft note: Each team will select two players to be tagged as 'franchise players'. The two players cannot be drafted by the expansion teams. The expansion teams are not a part of the draft in that players on their roster are automatically protected. Players traded for draft picks ARE protected and do NOT count as 'franchise players'. In the case of multiple players traded for a draft pick, that owner is to designate 1 player who will be protected by this rule. No team can have more than two players removed from its roster through expansion. Each expansion team will have up to five expansion picks. Regarding the rookie draft lottery: The order of the rookie draft lottery are for the 1st three picks of both round one and two of the rookie draft.
This means That One Team who received Sweet Sister Mercy's 1st and 2nd rounders will have the 1st and 13th overall selections in the draft, Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck will select 2nd and 14th while I Try When I Want To will select 3rd and 15th overall. Transactions The Showstoppa's are in dire need of cap room. So they chopped some salary. They got to with in $14 of the cap. The Cuts:
06.02.2003 Transactions Hello trades! There were three trades over the weekend. That One Team was involved in ALL of them. Which is amazing in itself. Trade 1... Sweet Sister Mercy, one of the expansion teams in the league this year has been looking to form a core with which to build upon. They got that core when they traded their lottery pick in the first and second round to That One Team. The Trade:
Trade 2... The Mossters who are always involved in trades worked out a deal with That One Team who is unloading players for picks all over the place. The Mossters are trying to fill holes. The Trade:
Trade 3... That One Team has been desperately unloading and dismantling all weekend. In the final move of the weekend, and in a surprising move, That One Team unloads $48 onto The Showstoppa's. The Trade:
After all the trades... That One Team is down to within $22 of the cap. The Mossters are within $34 of the cap and The Showstoppa's jump to $66 over. Sweet Sister Mercy now has $20 on the books. That One Team now has 7 of the 24 draft picks. 06.01.2003 Transactions In an effort to get close to the salary cap, The Mossters, who entered the off-season as the most financially screwed team, got a little better when they dumped a ton salary. By dropping $93, Todd is actually within $22 of the cap! The cuts:
05.31.2003 Transactions Silent But Deadly has released their only QB in Brian Griese. Probably a good move since he isn't even a starter anymore. The Cuts:
05.29.2003 Transactions The Showstoppa's have come out of hiding and made a move or two. CC retired again, so in an expected move Neil dropped him. Also, Jamel White and his inflated salary were shown the door.
News: Obligatory Nude Scene has an off season softball team. They needed a coach. They signed Jennie Finch to be their softball coach. She is hot. Torrie Wilson has also been added to the staff. She is the tasty too. She will be the entertainment liason. 05.22.2003 News The "Owner Contacts" portion of the site is now updated. So have fun, e-mail each other. Also, a note to some owners. With the ownership restructuring that followed Beth's acquisition of Ben's former team Robert Smith and Anthony Carter have become available for coaching duties. 05.20.2003 Transactions The Mossters are in dire straights when it comes to the salary cap. They are $150 over the $150 cap. Yes, they have doubled the cap number. They have begun their purge by eliminating 2 players who have had sketchy off seasons. The cuts:
These moves put The Mossters at $265 which is still $115 over the salary cap. 05.19.2003 Transactions I Try When I Want To has decided to lead the pack in in off-season player cutting. Brian was quoted as saying, "The following players have disappeared.." It would have been helpful for his team to have noticed many of them were missing for a bulk of the season last year as well. The cuts:
These moves will save Brian $82 and brings his current cap status to: $158 which is still $8 over the salary cap. Sweet Sister Mercy intends on giving his players the best when it comes to front office and coaching. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Stacy Kiebler were signed to lucrative front office deals along with 3/5s of the 90210 cast of women. Obligatory Nude Scene continued to upgrade its front office by signing a plethora of stadium and team assistants including Brittany Murphy, Rebecca Romijn and Liv Tyler. The first ever trade between front office personnel was made today. The Mossters send Selma Hayek to Sweet Sister Mercy for Allyssa Milano. 05.13.2003 News The 2003 Schedule has been released! Scheduling this year is much like last year even though there are 12 teams instead of 10. Each team will play all but one team. Also, the schedule is divisionally weighted so division opponents play each other twice and every other team only once. Teams not playing each other this year:
It was the attempt of the commissioner to maintain rivalries. Unfortunately the league was unable to coordinate a meeting between the two teams inspired by Randy Moss. (Sorry Todd and Brian.) 05.10.2003 News In an unexpected move, last years best regular season team/worst playoff team has decided to change team names. Hence forth the Polymorphic Pacifists will be known as "That One Team." President of the team, Scott said "Hopefully that puts some distance between me and my 0-2 playoff record." Transactions After an interesting week in the coaching ranks, things didn't get easier Saturday as Pog Mo Thon, just a few days after much of the teams staff fled after the acquisition by Bethany, has released most of the remaining staff. In a move that was designed to rid itself of the left over Ben legacy, Beth has decided to eliminate every coach save Will Smith. Smith stuck around because he never liked Ben anyways. Some of Pog's replacement additions include, Jay and Silent Bob, Jacque Jones, Matt Damon and Bill Nye. Silent But Deadly has fired Bill Clinton only to replace him with the Bush twins, Barb and Jenna. Trade Pog Mo Thon's head coaching situation was a bit chaotic as Brian Billick didn't want to stay and Bethany didn't want him either. So in what is quite an interesting story, Pog Mo Thon swung a move to send head coach Brian Billick to Obligatory Nude Scene for recently signed head coach Dick Vermil. Derrick signed Vermil yesterday to a contract. 05.09.2003 Transactions The Wild are in the Western Conference Finals of the NHL playoffs and Obligatory Nude Scene has hired its head coach. In a press conference today, Obligatory Nude Scene announced the hiring of Dick Vermil as their head coach. 05.08.2002 Transactions Sweet Sister Mercy will hold a press conference to announce that Alissa Milano will be head of their 'in locker entertainment staff.' Also, they have hired Mike Sherman as their head coach. 05.07.2003 Transactions Pog Mo Thon announced the defection of loyalists to the Ben regime. Offensive coordinator, Ali Larter, defensive coordinator, Rob Thomas, QB coach, John Elway, and director of pro-personnel, Flip Saunders have all left the team. Sweet Sister Mercy has announced some additions to front office today. In a move that can only be described as family bias, GM Mike hired all of his brothers. The most shocking addition would be that of QB coach John Elway who essentially left Pug Mahon for Sweet Sister Mercy in one fell swoop. He also hired Hanz and Franz to fill the trainer role and hired the Hanson Bros. to take over the personnel side of things. The Evil Demonic Skulls From Heck also announced some front office moves today. Meatwad, OJ Simpson, some Russian guy and Johnnie Cochrane are now in the front office of this new expansion team. The Mossters today announced that Reggie White is the new defensive coordinator. Go to the individual team sites for further details. 05.06.2003 News The franchise owned and operated by Mike Coleman has officially announced his team name today, Sweet Sister Mercy. Transactions Obligatory Nude Scene fires head coach Steve Mariucci. In other house cleaning, the organization also fired QB coach Elvis Grbac. Grbac was replaced by Marty Mornhinweg. These moves really qualify as an unprecedented move seeing as they won the championship last year. Also, much to the chagrin of the organization, they had to let Marvin Lewis, the much loved Defensive Coordinator, go. He was let go to pursue other, higher office with another organization. He aspires to be a head coach. He was replaced by Jim Johnson. Brian Dobbs has resigned as the front office of the Polymorphic Pacifists. He was acting as the entire front office for the organization. He cites stress as the reason for leaving. The role has been filled by Heather Mittelholtz. 05.03.2003 News Welcome to the brand new site for the 2003 season. There has been some events this off season of note.
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