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69 Things to Do at K - Mart
ICED OUT GEAR BIOTCH!
Every Yo Mamma Joke...

Yo Muma's SO FAT- Yo muma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up Yo muma's so fat her nickname is "DAMN" Yo muma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo muma's so fat people jog around her for exercise Yo muma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone Yo muma's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors Yo muma's so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her... Yo muma's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world Yo muma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy Yo muma's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Yo muma's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! Yo muma's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" Yo muma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" Yo muma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized Yo muma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway Yo muma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller Yo muma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets Yo muma's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th Yo muma's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too Yo muma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" Yo muma's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! Yo muma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" Yo muma's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo muma's so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo muma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo muma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! Yo muma's so fat she's got her own area code! Yo muma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen! Yo muma's so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! Yo muma's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! Yo muma's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... Yo muma's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. Yo muma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! Yo muma's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! Yo muma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her! Yo muma's so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side! Yo muma's so fat she wakes up in sections! Yo muma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! Yo muma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose. Yo muma's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! Yo muma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! Yo muma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! Yo muma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! Yo muma's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! Yo muma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! Yo muma's so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views! Yo muma's so fat she's on both sides of the family! Yo muma's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! Yo muma's so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! Yo muma's so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! Yo muma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! Yo muma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! Yo muma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! Yo muma's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! Yo muma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! Yo muma's so fat she got hit by a parked car! Yo muma's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! Yo muma's so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! Yo muma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo muma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!" Yo muma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway! Yo muma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th Yo muma's so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too Yo muma's so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please Yo muma's so fat she fell in love and broke it! Yo muma's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck! Yo muma's so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo muma's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo muma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping Yo muma's so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. Yo muma's so fat when she back up she beep. Yo muma's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Yo muma's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo muma's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Yo muma's so fat she influences the tides. Yo muma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. Yo muma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out. Yo muma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo muma's so fat she was baptized at Marine World. Yo muma's so fat she's on both sides of the family! Yo muma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. Yo muma's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her Yo muma's so fat she stands in two time zones. Yo muma's so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas. Yo muma's so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. Yo muma's so fat shes on both sides of the family Yo muma's so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass Yo muma's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through Yo muma's so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. Yo muma's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. Yo muma's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. Yo muma's so fat she cant reach her back pocket. Yo muma's so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back! Yo muma's so fat her college graduation picture was an airial. Yo muma's so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water Yo muma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out Yo muma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth Yo muma's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures Yo muma's so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo muma's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. Yo muma's so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose. Yo muma's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. Yo muma's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. Yo muma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean..... Yo muma's so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse. Yo muma's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. Yo muma's so fat she was baptised in the ocean. Yo muma's so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway. Yo muma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. Yo muma's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" Yo muma's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! Yo muma's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo muma's so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!! Yo muma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. Yo Muma's SO HAIRY- Yo muma's so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo muma's so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! Yo muma's so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock. Yo muma's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo muma's so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. Yo Muma's HEAD SO BIG- Yo muma's head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo muma's head so big it shows up on radar Yo Muma's NOSE IS SO BIG- Yo muma's nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! Yo muma's nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! Yo Muma's SO DARK- Yo muma's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! Yo muma's so dark she spits chocolate milk! Yo muma's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent. Yo muma's so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo muma's so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. Yo Muma's SO DIRTY- Yo muma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo Muma's HOUSE SO DIRTY- Yo muma's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo muma's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. Yo Muma's SO FLAT- Yo muma's so flat she's jealous of the wall! Yo Muma GOT. . . Yo muma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! Yo muma got two wooden legs and one is one backward. Yo muma got three fingers and a banjo. Yo muma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. Yo muma got a bald head with a part and sideburns. Yo muma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!! Yo muma got a wooden leg with branches. Yo muma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. Yo muma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. Yo Muma's SO GREASY- Yo muma's so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo muma's so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo muma's so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her Yo Muma's SO BALD- Yo muma's so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo muma's so bald you can see whats on her mind Yo muma's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. Yo Muma HAS. . . Yo muma's has an afro with a chin strap. Yo muma's has one leg and a bicycle. Yo muma's has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. Yo muma's has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo muma's has one hand and a Clapper. Yo muma's has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. Yo muma's has green hair and thinks she's a tree. Yo muma's has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. Yo muma's has a 'fro with warning lights. Yo muma's has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. Yo muma's has a glass eye with a fish in it. Yo muma's has a short leg and walks in circles. Yo muma's has a short arm and can't applaude. Yo Muma's SO LAZY- Yo muma's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo Mumma IS LIKE. . . Yo muma's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay Yo muma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! Yo muma's like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke! Yo muma's like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn! Yo muma's like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on! Yo muma's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn! Yo muma's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride! Yo muma's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one! Yo muma's'smma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country! Yo muma's like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her! Yo muma's like a shotgun: one cock and she blows! Yo muma's like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw! Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing Yo muma's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo muma's like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" Yo muma's like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" Yo muma's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow. Yo muma's like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! Yo muma's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. Yo Muma's SO NASTY- Yo muma's so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt Yo muma's so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! Yo muma's so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo muma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach Yo muma's so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo muma's so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo muma's so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo muma's so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape. Yo muma's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off Yo muma's so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo muma's so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. Yo Muma's SO OLD- Yo muma's so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. Yo muma's so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo muma's so old her social security number is 1! Yo muma's so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' Yo muma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo muma's so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! Yo muma's so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! Yo muma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo muma's so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo muma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo muma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel. Yo muma's so old when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch. Yo muma's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo muma's so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo muma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo muma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo muma's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo muma's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". Ya Muma's SO POOR- Yo muma's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo muma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo muma's so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo muma's so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!! Yo muma's so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo muma's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo muma's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo muma's so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo muma's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. Yo muma's so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo muma's so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo muma's so poor she drives a peanut. Yo muma's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Ya Muma's SO SHORT- Yo muma's so short she poses for trophies! Yo muma's so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! Yo muma's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo muma's so short she can play handball on the curb. Yo muma's so short she does backflips under the bed. Yo Muma's HAIR SO SHORT- Yo muma's hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo muma's hair so short she curls it with rice. Yo Muma's SO SKINNY- Yo muma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo muma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo muma's so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. Yo muma's so skinny that if she turns sideways and sticks out her tongue she looks like a zipper. Yo muma's so skinny she has to bundle up 'cause of the "thin chill factor" Yo Muma's SO SLUTTY- Yo muma's so slutty she could suck-start a Harley! Yo muma's so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball! Yo muma's so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt! Yo muma's so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs" Yo muma's so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change. Yo muma's so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive Yo muma's so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times. Yo muma's so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick! Yo muma's so slutty she blind and seeing another man. Yo Muma's HEAD SO SMALL- Yo muma's head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo muma's head so small that she got her ear pierced and died. Yo Muma's HOUSE SO SMALL- Yo momma house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. Yo Muma's SO STUPID- Yo muma's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo muma's so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo muma's so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon Yo muma's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo muma's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo muma's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo muma's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo muma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo muma's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo muma's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo muma's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo muma's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo muma's so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo muma's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo muma's so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo muma's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo muma's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo muma's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo muma's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo muma's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo muma's so stupid she stole free bread. Yo muma's so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo muma's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo muma's so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo muma's so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo muma's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo muma's so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo muma's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo muma's so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo muma's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo muma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo muma's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo muma's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo muma's so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Yo muma's so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. Yo muma's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo muma's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. Yo muma's so stupid she took a umbrella to se