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"I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun"- Homer Simpson

"I think its ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas"- Bart Simpson

"I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood"- Homer Simpson

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman"- Homer Simpson

"If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the numbers"- Homer Simpson

"It is better to watch things then to do them."- Homer Simpson

"Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV"- Homer Simpson

"Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria"- Homer Simpson

"Homer, I don’t want to leave Springfield. I’ve dug myself into a happy little rut here and I’m not about to hoist myself out of it"- Marge Simpson

"I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?"- Grampa Simpson

"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"- Homer Simpson

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos"- Homer Simpson

Lisa: "Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die!" Grampa: "Ehhh, welcome to my world."- Grampa Simpson

"Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel "- Homer Simpson

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen"- Homer Simpson

"Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?"- Homer Simpson

"Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"- Homer Simpson

"Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!"- Ralph

"Oh, so they have internet on computers now!"- Homer Simpson

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers" - Ralph Wiggum

"On men! Those puny white flags are no match for our muskets!" - General at Fort Springfield

"My cat's breath smells like cat food." - Ralph Wiggum

"Stupider like a fox!" - Homer Simpson

"Oh boy sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"- Ralph Wiggum

FLANDERS: Ralph, you're gonna be on special teams RALPH: I'm special

MISS HOOVER: Now, take out your red crayons RALPH: Miss Hoover? MISS HOOVER: Yes Ralph? RALPH: I don't have a red crayon MISS HOOVER: Why not? RALPH: I ate it

RALPH: I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids! Oooh... I bent my wookie LISA: Hey Ralph, wanna come with me and Allison to play anigrams? ALLSION: We take proper names and re-arrange them to form a description of that person RALPH: My cat's breath smells like cat food

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there"- Ralph Wiggum