LAST DAY


tuesday, june 29th 2004

today was a beautiful day, a lou reed kind of beauty.

parker initiates, which saves me the embarrassment of doing it myself.

brian cries. there’s nothing more gorgeous than a big man in a chef’s hat breaking down at a single word. i couldn’t speak for a while after that. only looks.

the group had our last moments at the log. school scum. it was the last day that we would ever have an urgency at that place, or fulfill any pending obligations.

roni embraces me while she gives others a handshake. i’m not sure how i am supposed to interpret that, since it was my third. she also gives me another french book in the parking lot, “le grand meaulnes.” she wants me to comment on her thesis. again i cannot speak. my barely adequate  defenses tell me i’m being mocked in the worst way.

marlowe could not speak either. apparently my badly-worded, but honest card struck something. metaphor for a sapphire? i didn’t have the balls to ask. this is my last day. i don’t know when i’ll see him again.
 
i get picked up in the middle of the night, from a house in the middle of nowhere, when the air is sweet and going into the night sky is exactly like being a patient etherised upon a table. ryan and katrine, blackie spit, littoral drift and starbucks java. i am happy.