Steve G - August 24, 2002
August 12-18, 2001 StayingCyber Step3
Paradigm Quarterly Magazine - IIAR
Relapse Warnings Signs2
Friednship - powerpoint
Beautiful Flowers - powerpoint

April 15 - 21, 2001 Topic: Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Member: Philomena DOS 11/04/94 Location: So. California Date: 4/15/01 Time: 2:18:59 PM Comments ~~~\_/7......updtd 04/15/2001 It's me Philomena, grateful alcoholic, Before I came into the AA rooms, I believed in God but the alcohol blocked off the true flow of the faith & spirit. I wasn't able to stop myself from picking up that drink. I was addicted to it, I craved it. The first night in an AA meeting, I heard the words said, God was part of this program. At that very moment I cried, knowing I was in the right place, as I heard, He was here. He brought me to AA because He knew I couldn't do it any other way. I believe the power greater than myself, whom I choose to call "God”, has restored me to sanity. As long as I continue to work this program on a daily basis. Ask Him in my morning meditation, to keep me from my own selfish wants and to help me to see what His will is for me through out the day. I believe this and it can work for you too.ODAAT. One Day At A Time. WOW, our names, NOW look, at how many, from when I first started this site @ 6 or so weeks ago. This is from the discussion meetings, coffeepot, and I believe a 12 & 12 from archives, that I checked out. Look at our group. Awesome. Hello to (((ALL))) of you .. . . . :-):-):-), Adam H, Al K, Alice R, Allison W, AndrewA, AndyM, Anil G, ANNA, Anne, Annie K, Annie P, Anonymous, Ardis, Arlene, Art P, Avril G, AZBill, Babette R, Barry L, Bea, Bill J, Bill M, BillP, BillW, BilliJo, Billy D, Bob F, Bob P, Bob Patles, Bob S, Bobby, Brenda C, Brian B, Briana, Brock S, Bruce C, ButchL,Candi, Carol,Carol C, Carol D, Carol MN, Carol S W, Carole A, Carrie L, Cary B, Cec H, Charles M, Charlie Darling,Cher449, CheriseF, ChrisB, ChrisH,ChrisM, Chris0kC, ChuckK, ChuckM, ClaraA, Clara L, Colleen NA, Connie P, Corinne B, DB, DLeonard, Dale L, Dan N, Daniel, Bob S, DaveZ, David, David B, David H, David R, Dean S, DEB, Debbie T,Deborah,Derek B, Diana P, Don F, Don W, Donnie M, Doug K, Doug R, DuncanM, Ed G, Edie R, Eduardo L, Eileen L, Elaine, Elliott,Eric, Eric H, Ferdinand, Fayla, Fran D, FranW, FrankK,Frank M, Fred, Fred M, Gail, GaryC, GaryK, Geri W, GerryMac, Glen, Glen H, Gordon, Harry K, Heather, Heidi P, Hipolito, Holly K, JJ, JackB, Jaclyn H, James P, JamieB, JanBB, Jan S, Janine B, Jason B, JEAN, Jeff, JenG,Jenn, Jennifer, JeremiahM, Jerry J, Jim B, JimK, JJ, JMS, Jo D, JoM, Joan H, Joe, JoeH, Joe R, Johanna, John B, John W, JosephZ, JoyceY,Judi, Julie, Justin R, KarrieL, KateH, KathyM, Kathy R, KatieD, KatieN, Kaye F, Kelly F, Ken C, Ken S, Kerry, Kerry B, Kerry F, KimD, KimO,Kirsten T, Laila, L.A.Roxx, LeAnn W, Lee P, LegrandplayerDAN, LesA, Les C, Lilly, LindaA, Linda O,Linda S, Lis, Lisa IL, Lisa C, LisaK, Lois S, Lori R, LoriS,Lorraine,Loretta,LukeD, Lyn, Lyle, Lynne B, Lynn S, MarcyC, Marie, MarkA, Mark B, Mark D, Mark L, Mark W, Martina G, Mary, MaryV, Matt L, Mel, Melissa B, Michael B, Mike PA, MikeK, MikeL, MikeM, Mike W, Milt,Miriam T, Miriam W, MishaB, MitchellWI, Mouse,Mrellen, Nadia B, NancyW, NateH, NewBeastie, Noel, NormP, Otto P, Pam B, PamD,Pam Midwest, Pat g, Patti D, Pattw/2tees, PaulB, Paul OH, PaulM,PaulaP, PaulineG, Peggy H, Perry A,Pete S, PhilA, Philomena, RayP, Rayday75, Red Z, Rhonda,Rich R,RickA, RickW, Richad M, Rob, Robert C, Robert CD, Robert J, Robin, RobinA, Rod, Roger S, Ron N, Roxanne H, RT, S W, Sami, Sanders W & little fella, Sandy B, Sarah, Sarah S, SCB, Scott,Scott E, ScottH, Sean, Shannon, Sharon,Sharon Frey, Sheheh C, SheilaL,Sherry H, Sherri M, Shirley, SidH, Sid L, Sonia & cat, Stan M, Stacey S, Stephanie, StephanieT, Stephen, Stephen T, Steve, Sue G, synonymousPhilD, Tarita M, TerrenceW,TerryG, TheThief, Thomas R, Thumper, TiffanyB, Tim V, Tim Y, TinaM, Todd, Toddy, Tom, TomG, TomM,tony-da-duck, Tony D, Tony G, TP,TriciaMC,Typing Monkey, Valerie, Verna, Vinnie V, Von, Will D, William A, Willie D, Wouter, Yesi C, Yvonne, Zane, Zeke. "Have a very joyous, spiritual, blest and happy Easter!" Thank you all for being here!!! THIS IS A GROUP HUG (((FOR ALL OF YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHARING & FOR BEING HERE))) "Have a very joyous, spiritual & happy Easter!" KCB....Keep Coming Back. Remember to Keep It Simple. ODAAT....One Day At A Time. ALL of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for letting me share. Take Care. Peace. (/o\) //_\\ God bless you (((ALL))), love, Philomena

Member: Sarah Location: NW USA Date: 4/15/01 Time: 4:56:24 PM Comments "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" I call that Power...a healing power...that I experience from the experience, strength and hope being shared in Alcoholic Anonymous (p. 30 in the 12 x12 "By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, providing we place humility first") What's humility? Alcoholic Anonymous definition's...Healing! Progress not perfection! Look for the similarities, not the differences! Easy does it, but do it! Being a winner means not drinking today! Lots of new humble, sane definitions... And because of Alcoholic Anonymous definition's healing really became possible...I didn't have to be the "BEST, RICHEST, SMARTEST, MOST PERFECT, MOST POPULAR, SAINTLY, OR ANY OTHER WORLDLY DEFINITIONS OF THE ACCEPTABLE PERSON", I could be me, 'an alcoholic', working at progress in recovering, healing from this disease. Thanks Alcoholic Anonymous for the experience, strength and hope of humble sanity!!! I'll keep coming back, hope you do also!

Member: Baker Location: Canada Date: 4/15/01 Time: 7:20:20 PM Comments A) there is a God. B) It isn’t me. Step #2, is the AA program

Member: Adam H. Location: Nagano, JAPAN Date: 4/15/01 Time: 8:00:19 PM Comments Adam, alcoholic. I'll never forget when someone told me that the trick words in this step are "that" and "could"--as in "Came to believe THAT a Power COULD restore me to sanity." When I first read this step, I got very alarmed because I didn't want to believe in God, particularly because I didn't think God could fix me. I can't tell you how grateful I am today that an old-timer showed me that the step does not say "Came to believe in God;" it says came to believe THAT God could restore me to sanity. The question was not whether or not there was a Power bigger than Adam; he said there already was...a GROUP OF DRUNKS (G.O.D.) that came together to help people like me go through one day at a time without drinking was, in terms of numbers, much greater than me by myself trying not to drink. "The only question is," he said to me, "do you believe they can help you stop believing that insane idea that next time it's going to be different?" This was when Step 2 clicked for me. I was very fortunate to have a mother who was sober in the program 8 years before I got to my first meeting, and I had seen the progress in her. My thought was if AA could help someone as nuts as my mom, then it HAD to work. That was when I came to believe THAT Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 Steps COULD help me to stop believing that crazy idea that it would be different the next time. For the last 4 and a half years, a day at a time, it has and I am very grateful. And Philomena, thanks to you too. It is pretty wonderful to see how many people come to this site! Here's a hug for you too! (((HUG))) Hope everyone has 24-hours today!

Member: Mark D Location: NH Date: 4/15/01 Time: 8:19:10 PM Comments I was raised roman Catholic, dabbled in Mormonism, went into a long spell of Agnosticism and tried Unitarian Universalism, which is really an intellectualized form of Agnosticism. Although I know that I have felt God's presence many times in my life, and I knew quite a bit about what many people think of God ... I had no faith. I didn't get faith until I succumbed to the bottle. Now I feel a real connection to God. I don't discount what I have learned in the past about God. I just feel that my faith has served me and my sobriety so much better than any of my intellectualizations ever did.

Member: Carol Location: MN Date: 4/15/01 Time: 9:43:17 PM Comments Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity became the basis of my program. When I was experiencing problems with drugs and alcohol, even tried pot and hash a couple of times, the doctors kept putting me in an institution for the mentally insane. Now I don't doubt that I was insane at the time but the source and the cure were being misdiagnosed. So when I came through the doors of AA being firmly convinced that I was incurably insane and should be confined to the state institution for the rest of my life as proposed by the doctor, the thought that I could be helped gave me hope. Hope kept me coming back. I went from 5 to 8 meetings a week for those first few years, then settled into a pattern of three meetings a week for the next 15 years. It was about 1 1/2 years into the AA program that I realized that I was not insane and functioning like a normal person. I completed my college degree and went on to obtain a Masters. Hardly the accomplishments of an insane person. Even if there was only 2 minutes of the meeting left when my night class got over I would rush in to hold hands and say the Our Father so I would feel connected to the group and God. I cling to this step like a drowning person clings to a life raft.

Member: Tarita M. Location: Upstate Date: 4/15/01 Time: 9:52:41 PM Comments Before coming into the rooms of AA I'd began to loose my faith in GOD. If there was one how could he have let me go through all the crap that I was going through? That was my thought. I also stayed stuck on the part about being restored to sanity, I wasn't crazy! YEAH RIGHT!! What about all the things I did? When I drank all bets were off for any plans I'd made with my kids, boyfriend, employer etc. I don't regret the past nor do I wish to shut the door on it, for me the door is always cracked as a reminder of where I don't want to be. Today I'm able to keep the drink down 1 day at a time as long as I believe in the power greater than myself.

Member: pat g Location: Tucson Date: 4/16/01 Time: 1:23:33 PM Comments This step is so incredibly important to me. This weekend I was trying to do too much and as a result had to make my bread twice - didn't have the patience to let it rise properly the first time because my plate was too full. When I got off on the wrong foot with the cake recipe that was it. I sat down and read pp. 449-452 and decided to accept the fact that I was overtired, hungry and just generally out of sorts. I then decided to just read Step 2, meditate, relax and start again. This time the cake came out fine. I then decided that the party which was to include alcohol on Easter was not for me. I've heard too many stories of "I don't know how it happened." I thought of the possibility of picking up the wrong glass or something because of my disease and decided not to go. I slept better because of this. I called my neighbor and explained it to her. I hope she understands. I am powerless at times, I realize it now and thank God Step 2 continues to work for me. Philomena how great to see your post this morning. You are a treasure. Hope everyone had a blessed and happy Easter. I know I did because my God did not fail me and I did not pick up a drink. Hugs to all.

Member: Mary V. Location: CT Date: 4/16/01 Time: 4:10:39 PM Comments In my four weeks since I started attending AA meetings, I've heard many people share about how they started working the steps and THEN found their higher power. For me, it sort of happened quite the opposite. I needed to pray and ask God for help with my drinking problem (alcoholism as I can now say) BEFORE I even stepped foot into AA, and I truly believe that without that power of prayer and the faith I had in God I would not have had the courage to walk through the doors that first night at AA. The funny part is that I had been praying on and off for a while to God to "please take away my drinking problem". Yup, would be on my knees asking this one morning, and that same night go out to the bar with friends... wake up the next morning terribly hungover and remorseful and think to myself "well, guess this prayer thing isn't working". LOL! I finally realized that faith alone wasn't going to make me better, I had to actually show up and do some work myself. So I thank God for giving me the courage to go to AA, and continuing to give me strength each day to abstain from drinking... because Lord knows I couldn't do it on my own! Hence, the essential step 2!!!

Member: Madeline E. Location: South Texas Date: 4/17/01 Time: 1:35:13 AM Comments Thanks so much to everyone for your comments! It helps me to remember that others have had their sanity restored through the tenets of AA, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. I have been back out for awhile, but I know where I need to go and what I need to do. Thanks.

Member: Michael B. Location: AZ Date: 4/17/01 Time: 1:42:06 AM Comments Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares! In my own experience, my "power greater than myself" was the omnipotent God of the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic traditions. So I knew that this "power greater than myself" could restore me to sanity. My greatest question, when I first arrived in the AA halls was "Would He?"

Member: Jack B. Location: Palo Alto, Pa Date: 4/17/01 Time: 2:39:27 AM Comments Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic. I was taught step two is our first act of faith. We are asked to believe in something other than ourselves. Step two for me came simultaneously with step one. When I asked God to please help and remove the obsession to drink, I honestly believe it was the first heartfelt prayer I ever uttered in my life. With that affirmation of needing help, I finally was able to accept that I am an alcoholic and I could not do this alone. When I look at the part of this step that refers to our being returned to sanity, I mean the alcoholic insanity is gone. If we are talking about the round pegs into the round hole type of sanity then I am still a few french fries short of a happy meal. The sanity that has been restored to me is that I know and accept today that no matter what happens in my life I DON'T have to pick up a drink. Looking back at my last drunk shortly before Thanksgiving 1987,and remembering that, for me to sit here and think I can drink successfully or that I have to drink is total insanity. Thru the Grace of God, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and our twelve steps, I have enjoyed continuous sobriety from November 23rd 1987 until this day, and for that I am grateful. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.

Member: Carol Location: MN Date: 4/17/01 Time: 3:07:13 AM Comments Carol here. Still sober. When I was in the depths of depression and despair, my neighbor decided to take me to her church for healing. It was quite an experience. They took me up to the front of the church, anointed me with oil, babbled in strange tongues and declared me healed. Funny, the next day I was still sitting there with my bottle but with a whole new resentment against God. No lightening bolt came down, no miraculous healing. The craving still so strong I could not resist it. It was about six months later I moved to MN and was able to get help through a treatment program which introduced me to AA. But I still had that resentment against God for not healing me. Then a local pastor came to call in an effort to get me back into church. So I told him my long sad tale of woe and how God had abandoned me in my time of need. He asked me how long I had been sober. I said a year and a half. To that he replied. "Well, you look healed to me." That was my spiritual awakening. I did not want to do the work. I wanted life on my terms. When I did the footwork, God brought about the results. Since that time I know that if I pray for something and do not get it, that God has not abandoned me, and it will become clear to me what the answer is when the time is right. I am grateful to God for getting me out of that old leaky sieve of a house before it burned to the ground. I am grateful for sobriety. I am grateful that I am not in a wheelchair yet. Every day I can still get out of bed is a good day. I'm grateful for a little blind dog to lead me around and show me the way, keep me company when no one else is about. Right now I'm going to take that little blind dog out for a walk and then go upstairs and tuck him into my bed and crawl in with him. Hugs to y’all. Carol

Member: dt Location: Date: 4/17/01 Time: 8:49:02 AM Comments Hi I am Daniel I am from OHIO .I had a nice Easter. I hope everybody else did to. I had a little problem at my mom’s house everybody was drinking and caring on and they kept asking me if I wanted a beer or a glass of wine .I kept saying no. Finally my girlfriend and I just left .I have to admit I really wanted to have a beer. But I know that I am powerless over alcohol. I am very glad that my girlfriend was there with me. And I am really glad that she talked to me after we left

Member: SuNNy Location: Not so Sunny WA (across the river) Date: 4/17/01 Time: 6:54:44 PM Comments Anytime and with anything that I obsess over, I consider it insanity. I am always inches from insanity whether it be about alcohol or nicotine to whether or not my daughter picked white milk today at lunch or that last piece of cake on the kitchen counter. :0) The idea that God would remove my obsession and restore me to right thinking, or sanity, was the light bulb that went off in my mind. All I had to do was ask, and pray for it. It didn't cost me anything, and took up minimal time. It has worked always, some instances being quicker than others. Gotta have faith and trust in this deal too. I have always been returned to sanity enough to grasp enough gratitude to get through another 24 hours. Did I mention sanity can be brief? lol... Peace and joy to all!

Member: bob,W Location: denver,colo Date: 4/17/01 Time: 7:57:09 PM Comments from colobob, when I came into A.A. my concept of a higher power was the sunrise I figured as long as it came up I could stay sober that day .to simple you say well I had a pretty screwed up mind it was the most I could absorb since I came to believe in the power that makes that sun rise. that same power has given me a choice for a number of 24 hrs now cause when I was serving the other power, booze I had no choice we are all living miracles.

Member: Bob T Location: Reno,Nv Date: 4/17/01 Time: 8:19:35 PM Comments When I came to AA I did not have a problem with God but I felt He had a problem with me for the things I had done. It was pointed out to me if that was so I wouldn’t be here. When I got on my knees and asked Him to remove the obsession to drink it was removed in short order. For the first time in many years I had a choice. That was the beginning of wonderful and exiting journey. I am here to tell you that it never stops getting better. It all started in 1981 and it still works through the 12 steps of AA THANKS for letting me share my experience, strength and hope.

Member: Andrew A. Location: Calgary Date: 4/17/01 Time: 8:21:47 PM Comments The way I see the first three steps today is there has gotta be another way, maybe there is another way, and I believe I will try another way. I have been very much into reading and putting a lot of work into developing a relationship with God at different times in my recovery, but today I keep it pretty simple and have found a few simple prayers to deal with upsets and to keep me on track to peace. Love that learning curve. paxaa@hotmail.com (((Edie)))

Member: HIPOLITO Location: Chicago Date: 4/17/01 Time: 10:55:30 PM Comments Hi Hipolito Alcoholic sober today only by the grace of god and you people. when I came to step two and began this most important relationship and began to believe as days tuned into weeks, my belief in myself w/the strength and the guidance of my HP, I could stay sober one day at a time, but without this initial act of faith none of this could have been possible. I thank God for this program everyday because without it I would have never found him and enjoyed the love and understanding I have experienced in this program thank all of you for being here God bless !!

Member: Lavonne A Location: Columbus, Ohio Date: 4/18/01 Time: 8:48:55 AM Comments Hello family--Lavonne, gratefully recovering alcoholic here. Step 2...just picked up my little briefcase copy of 12 x 12 and wow...opened up to page 31: "When we encountered AA, the fallacy of our defiance was revealed." Step 2 for me is all about accepting solutions and not refuting them. It's in the BB about either being doomed to an alcohol death or deciding to live on a spiritual basis. This Step is HOPE to me. Keep doing as I was...OR choosing to try...or simply WILLING TO TRY. I love this line and then I will pass. Brought my body and the rest DID follow: Came, Came To, Came To Believe. Thanks for helping me to keep sober this day.

Member: Pete S Location: Maryland Date: 4/18/01 Time: 9:44:52 PM Comments My name is Pete, and I'm an alcoholic. Please excuse me if this seems silly, but step two for me was a lot like being taken to an IMAX theatre for the first time. The view was spectacular. When it finally hit me that God could or would restore me to sanity, it was like the curtain was raised on my life. It seems that for too many years I had replaced God with a bottle of scotch. Problem was that with the scotch, I thought I was God. You all know where that got me. Finally coming to my senses (and this program) not necessarily in that order, it became apparent to me that God could help me IF I ASKED FOR HELP. I did, and God did, and does every day. Ever hear of the term "Sweet surrender"? Surrendering to God's will never seemed so right. Thanks for letting me share

Member: DEB Location: MI Date: 4/18/01 Time: 9:49:30 PM Comments Madeline...so glad you are back!!!! AA really screws up your drinking, doesn't it? I found that out for myself. I too was happy that God brought me back home. You know what to do, girl..JUST DO IT! The progression of this disease is unbelievable. It always has one believing that they can drink again. SO cunning.. baffling....and POWERFUL!!! There IS only ONE more POWERFUL, and that is GOD! I am so grateful to know that, He is why I’m sober today. HEY JACK.......one french-fri short of a happy-meal????? I LOVE that! Sober days my friends and hugs to all.....DEB

=================================================================================================================== August 5 - 11, 2001 Topic: Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Member: Don R Location: Savannah, GA Date: 8/6/01 Time: 6:31:47 PM Comments I've never had a problem accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I am 34 days sober, and I can only attribute that to the "grace of God". I am lucky to be on the positive side of the YETS. My mind hasn't even cleared enough to remember some of my past experiences, but I imagine I could write as powerful of messages as those found in the Big Book. Thanks to all the AA's for your support.

Member: Sammi Location: usa Date: 8/6/01 Time: 6:35:52 PM Comments I'm Sammi, alcoholic. I first had to believe that I was insane and after doing step 1, there was no doubt about it. My disease had led me into areas I thought that I would never step. So the insanity part of this step was easily visible to me. To believe in a power greater than myself took some time and the little book CAME TO BELIEVE helped me here, along with my sponsor. Today, I have a Higher Power and that one is NOT me. I call him God and He is great! Thanks for sharing the topic. Hope to hear from others too.

Member: Margaret L. Location: The Rocky Mountains Date: 8/6/01 Time: 7:52:10 PM Comments I was fortunate that when I came into AA I had no trouble accepting a God of my understanding. I wasn't angry with God, I didn't doubt his existence. Now, after 15 years of largely contented and productive sobriety, I am struggling to integrate a concept of god that I can believe in with my continuing recovery. I am working to enhance my spiritual life, but my easy acceptance of God as a figure with a personal interest in my sobriety is suffering. I would like to hear how people who have moved away from God manage to stay sober in AA. Thanks.

Member: Amazingly "GraceD" Location: stlmo Date: 8/6/01 Time: 11:35:14 PM Comments GraceD here, alcoholic. Step 2 . . .I was able early in recovery to see where God had done for me what I was unable to do for myself. Coming to believe that a Higher Power and/or this program could and would took a little more. I was beaten enough to know "the hopelessness and futility of life as I had been living it" to do what was suggested. What followed was a gradual restoration of sanity. Actions>results>sanity>belief>faith. Then of course, action and more action must follow. Insanity is still my problem today in MANY other areas of my life. Each waits for me to be in enough pain before I am willing to again see the futility of my self-will run riot. As soon as I find the key of willingness BAMM! A way out and thru! Margaret, not sure why you would feel that your HP is not interested in your sobriety. I know why I think mine is today. So that I can help another suffering drunk just like me and pass on this life-giving program. However I AM struggling with whether he's concerned with my happiness. At 12+, I know what will make me happy and my HP has not delivered to my specifications and frankly I'm pissed. Isn't it obvious that I have tried long and hard enough to earn this small request? Today at least, I have enough SANITY to know how much BS that is and how much better he is at running my life than I am. I've earned nothing but a daily reprieve. But, ask me again tomorrow. Even if God feels like he left your universe, keep praying. You will come out the other side. You know, where the Sunlight of the Spirit STILL is. Thanks, it's helped me to share with you. "GraceD" at thnx-hp@prodigy.net

Member: ChuckM Location: Alberta Date: 8/7/01 Time: 2:57:42 AM Comments I'm Chuck, an alcoholic Step 2. Came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. In step 1 I came to realize my insanity. I was anxious, worried, fearful, angry and miserable because of my thinking and beliefs. I had to change this thinking so I would have peace of mind. I did not know what was wrong and what was correct. I needed help and step 2 says that I have a higher power. At this point all I have to believe is that there is some power that is friendly to me and willing to help me. When I disagreed that there was a power I had just found the first of the old ideas that I had to let go. (any idea that disagrees with a step is a wrong idea that must be changed). Peace and Serenity

Member: Joe L. Location: Phila, PA - USA Date: 8/7/01 Time: 8:19:39 AM Comments Good Morning All; Joe here, definitely alcoholic. I've never doubted that the Higher Power could restore me to sanity, it's simply a matter of accepting myself as I am. I am not the person I want to be. I don't think I'm the person God wants me to be, but SOBER - I have a chance. I think insanity for an alcoholic is to toy with the idea of a drink. You may have heard the expression - "If it was so good, what are we doing here?" That's pretty much the way I feel. I can't drink. I honestly never could, but I had my run nonetheless. It's over now, I don't play with that. Margaret L.: Here's where I identify with you? What now? What does God want me to do now? I'm ready for my MISSION, what is it? I always thought God got me sober for some noble purpose, and I think He offered me sobriety because He loved me. His love is simple. He just wants us to give it away, to love each other. Too simple, right? I know it's simple, but I think it's true. God knows we've paid our dues. Maybe we can help someone here, maybe at a meeting, maybe someone not even in A.A. I do identify Margaret, I guess my struggle is a little different. My struggle is with me and my character defects. After 26 years, I still have them. I even fell into one on my anniversary Sunday - I am very disappointed in me, what can I say? Keep the Faith... Peace, Out - Joe L. LeachFtown@aol.com

Member: Dry in the Desert Location: Nevada Date: 8/7/01 Time: 8:25:59 AM Comments Good Morning Everyone, My name is Walter and I am an alcoholic. When I first came to the program I had no high power and was so sick I could not see the insanity, therefore, Step Two meant little. Now with 12+ years of sobriety, what a difference! The guidance that a Power Greater Than Myself has given me through a wonderful sobriety, though wrought with life’s challenges, is so apparent and my former (and occasional, current) insanity is very obvious. The miracle of this way of life is overwhelming. If you are new and cannot see the miracles in your own life yet, listen to those who share their stories. Speaker meetings, Grapevine articles and sponsors are great places to see God’s work. Welcome to the newcomers…. Step Two will open an Adventure through life that you cannot imagine.

Member: becky f Location: midwest Date: 8/7/01 Time: 10:34:45 AM Comments good morning. I am an alcoholic. I’ve known and accepted and publicly acknowledged it for 10 months. During the first four months, I was able to stay sober by sheer will. Then the holidays came and there seemed to be a reason to drink nearly every day. New Year's eve was the first day of my journey into more excuses, more "I’ll begin after _____". I am a stay-at-home mom and as such, it would seem easy for me to get to AA meetings. However, it isn't. We live in a small country suburb of a small major city. AA meetings are over 10 miles away and I do not want to impose this on my husband. He values his time off work and enjoys spending time with us. These are all excuses. I know this. I am hopeful that discussing topics and following along with the topic of the week will help substitute for actual AA meetings. I am ashamed to say that I’ve been sober for only 10 hours. Compared to those of you who have 12 + years, this is absolutely nothing. And I don't know that I’ll have the strength to fight my "clown in the closet" who comes out whenever there seems to be a good reason to drink. For me, that seems to be when I’m ready to celebrate, when I’m sad, when I’m bored, when I am frustrated, when I’m cooking, whenever! I consider this demon a clown because it looks so uncomplicated and so friendly when it comes to visit & ask you to join the party. Intellectually, I know the consequences to drinking: dry stuff around my eyes, dry skin, fatigue the next day, disappointment in myself, an empty wallet, lack of concentration and more. But even though I know these things, I’m ready to drop my convictions and drink anyway. I am hopeful that someday I can give way to a power higher than myself and let Him mold me into the person He wants me to be, instead of trying to do it myself. Anyway, thanks for listening. Maybe someday I’ll be able to be someone on here that has been sober for years! God bless.

Member: Joe L. Location: Phila, PA - USA Date: 8/7/01 Time: 12:41:49 PM Comments Sorry for double dipping. BECKY: Sounds like you've done some research, anyhow. You might try calling your local intergroup office and let them know your situation. If that doesn't work, you might find out who the Intergroup Rep. is for that group 10 miles away, and perhaps they could bring it up at their business meeting. Either way, hang in there, You're worth it... Good Luck and God Bless You!

Member: Von Location: Ohio Date: 8/7/01 Time: 2:34:09 PM Comments When I came in the rooms, I breezed over the 2nd step because I too thought I had a God of my understanding. Well, I did...and I didn't. In the past, my relationship with God was a bartering one, "God, I did this, so I want you to do this for me!". Or it was an ordering one, "God, I want you to do blah, blah, blah, and please help blah, blah, blah, and I pray that you blah, blah, blah." Nothing changed, I was still running the show. The book tells me that a "completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate". Even if my God was always a loving God, I knew that though I had believed, I had never really trusted. When sober life really started happening, my prayers were simplified down to "God please help me". "God, Thy Will Be Done", "God, thank you for everything". Today, I can see how much God loves me and how interested He is in my existence. I look back over recent very tough weeks and know that I made it only because of love and grace, because I was so full of pain and despair. I'm carried more often than I realize. Because I matter. The 2nd Step doesn't only ask me to BELIEVE He exists, but to TRUST that He can do anything no matter whether I can tell or not. Faith asks that whether I am in light or darkness, can I still trust? Yes, because I'm sober today and if that isn't proof, then what will ever be? It is only when prayer is necessary that real prayer begins. God Bless.

Member: Mike M. Location: Md. Date: 8/7/01 Time: 2:39:35 PM Comments Hi I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. Step 2 for me is where I got hope. I always believed in God but before coming into the rooms I didn't know really anything about Him. Even after going through to the ninth step I found that I wasn't trusting Him. I still have to have it my way and that eventually took me back out for about two weeks. In that two weeks I found that alcohol and drugs didn't solve anything and that in fact it just added more problems. Thank God and the fellowship that I made it back. God put a person in my life right when I was very confused about which way I was going. I went back to my sponsor and went over the whole situation and he knew right where I was at at that moment. He gave me something to read in "Language of the Heart" and I related right away. My happiness and peace today don't come from people and circumstances, they come from within. When I can express that outwardly it brings more peace and happiness. I'm grateful for my sponsor and fellow alcoholics for keeping me in the right direction and that would be forward, not sideways, or worse, backwards. I only have today and that is all I need to worry about and if my spiritual condition is right I don't have to worry about that. God has truly returned me to sanity and has done and is doing for me what I could not do for myself. So if you don't believe He can, don't give up until you have worked all the steps. As a good friend of mine says, "Don't give up five minutes before the miracle". Thanks for letting me share. God Bless You All DOS 5/19/2000

Member: Adrianna Location: Syracuse Date: 8/7/01 Time: 3:49:46 PM Comments Although I have gone through Step one, I am assuming the logical step is now step 2. I'm just not sure I know how to reach these steps. I am only on day 3 and have just located a meeting near me. I plan to attend tomorrow or Friday. So many questions. Like how long should one stay on each step and are they meant to be followed one after another? In the past I failed because I didn't have a plan. I thought I could attempt this as I quit smoking seven years ago. But this is different, no one wants you to smoke next to them, but all the social pressures of drinking surround me. I am trying REALLY hard. I'm sure Friday will be a test. I liked the idea of meditating when I get home. I'm not sure how to take this step two, although I have prayed daily for help. Thanks for listening. DOS 8/5/2001

Member: Bobbye E Location: McKinney, TX Date: 8/7/01 Time: 5:36:38 PM Comments Love Step 2! I had a sponsor that shared with me that if my God could not handle it, to Fire him and get a new one that could. She said You really can have it anyway you want it, just find one that works for you TODAY. Talk about flexibility, I needed that kind of a second chance this was the last house on the block, and this promise that a concept of God will work even for a dope fiend thief drunk like me gave me hope. Cause it made sense to me that if God was that willing, then so was I. And it was an amazing promise that I could be given some of that right thinking. I had to rely on a sneaking suspicion that what worked for you might work for me. That was good enough for a long time. Now I have times when I wish God did not think so highly of me. I still get to grow and maintain my relationship with Creator. Sometimes I just have to ask for God to meet me where I am, and grant me peace. I know that God is involved when the impossible becomes merely difficult. Love y'all - bobbyee@ivillage.com

Member: Mary K Location: Boston (Raynham) Date: 8/7/01 Time: 6:08:56 PM Comments Hi all, Mary - alcy I came to believe that a "Power Greater than me" (who I now choose to call God) could restore me to sanity when the merciless obsession to drink was lifted from me. I NEVER thought it would ever leave and one day, about 10 months into my sobriety, I suddenly realized that I hadn't thought to take a drink for a few days........ Something that miraculous I had always assumed would come with lightning bolts (if it came at all)....it was sooo subtle, like all the HUGE realizations I have had since (like the true forgiveness I now have for my mother). God bless all.

Member: Patricia Location: New York Date: 8/7/01 Time: 7:07:59 PM Comments Good evening to all, After struggling with the first step for the first year of my sobriety, A sponsor of mine gave me a book called "Came to Believe" This made me realize that I do not write the script, and that I must Let Go of my old alcoholic thoughts and feelings which got me drunk in the first place, and Live and Let Live. That is how I came to believe. To all newcomers, Get step 1 perfectly, and the rest of the steps will follow when you are ready. Thanks for the share.

Member: Michael B. Location: AZ Date: 8/7/01 Time: 9:33:31 PM Comments Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares! As I've mentioned in previous discussions of Step 2, when I finally came to the halls of AA regularly, I relied primarily on AA as a whole, i.e. AA services, AA groups, and individual AA's as a power greater then myself that could restore me to continuous sobriety and hopefully sanity. Although I always had a belief, more or less, in the omnipotent God of the Jewish, Christian, and Muslim tradition and thus knew that He could restore me to sanity, I had severe doubts upon entering AA that He would. Fortunately, the process sometimes described as "I came," "I came to," and "I came to believe" has been working for me.

Member: RobC Location: Philly Date: 8/8/01 Time: 8:31:34 AM Comments When I came around only 90 days ago I wasn't sure whether I believed in a HP or not. I certainly didn't believe in the HP of my parents, the one that would burn you for eternity if you didn't follow his rules. I was also one of these somewhat 'intelligent', somewhat atheist people who use science to disprove the bible, God etc. So I was faced with needing to find a power greater than myself that I could depend on, that I could turn it over to. I thought long and hard and was struggling very much with early sobriety. Then I came to a simple decision. Despite all scientific knowledge there is still so much that is not understood. We really don't know anything. Then I simplified to 'I exist'. That's it. I exist on a planet, in a solar system, in a universe, in a galaxy, in the cosmos. And the absurdity of that fact, that all these exist and that I do, allowed me to accept the idea that maybe, just maybe, there was a higher power out there somewhere and I would try to contact him through prayer. When I started to pray I was immediately relieved of the anxiety I was suffering, able to sleep, able to depend on someone, something other than myself. I met my HP that night and like a new friend I am learning about him every day. I refer to 'him', but I'm not sure he's got a gender. He's great. He jokes with me, sometimes curses, not in an angry way, but while giving advise he might say, "what the hell are you thinking?... don't worry about it... You take care of this, I'll take care of that... I wonder if I'm going insane or crazy, but he assures me I'm not and I believe him.

Member: AnilG Location: Mt Vernon Date: 8/8/01 Time: 11:22:58 AM Comments I am alcoholic and also atheist I did not believe in God but once I hit the bottom of my life and believed there was no hope that my life is over that is when I was introduced to AA and saw the power of god that there is life even after death. My 2nd life began jan2nd1998 after my death and left drugs and alcohol for good now I am happy living a spiritual life. Happier than ever I plan to lead a sober life and take full use of what HP has given to me another chance. God bless all AA members and Alanon it can help you too your HP.
Member: Holly S. Location: Michigan Date: 8/8/01 Time: 11:34:59 AM Comments Good Morning all...my name is Holly and I'm an alcoholic. Came to believe...that's where I'm at right now. Wow, I was just scrolling the comments and Becky, I too have a clown in my closet. This is not an easy process and alas, I too "slipped" this past weekend. I have been trying to get this under control for over three years now. I guess my methods are not working. I am back to 90 in 90. I know that if I don't go to a meeting EVERY day, I lose what I so preciously have just for this moment as I am sharing with you. I just have to think about the results...follow my next drink through to the other side...the headache, the shame, the self-loathing. I have now found it easier just to admit complete defeat to God.. to let Him know that I just can't do this. I don't understand why...I'm educated, I'm rather successful, I can figure just about anything out, but why when every cell in my body and more so in my heart are screaming NOOOOOO, do I pick up that next drink. When we have a moment of silence at the beginning of a meeting to pray for the still suffering alcoholics...that's me. I'm still suffering. God and a meeting a day are my only "Safe" places to be. I pray to finally "get it" this time. My chances are not good, but this time, I've been begging God for assistance. Thank you all for being here. Holly

Member: Newcomer Location: Date: 8/8/01 Time: 1:12:11 PM Comments Becky-I too find every reason to drink. You mentioned cooking. I always had a beer in my hand while cooking. I have only been sober for 6 days this time but I really feel different this time. I am so tired of having the hellish hangovers but yet still having to carry on as though nothing was wrong. Lying to the people I work with by telling them the baby kept me up again. I drank a lot by myself because my husband was always gone with his friends. My beer was my friend on Friday nights. I miss my friend in a way. But I love more getting up and feeling fresh the next morning! I still dread the weekend coming and the little voice that tells me that I really don't have a problem just because I want to "let loose" on Friday nights and drink 10-11 beers. My voice tells me all kinds of things. I hate that voice it is so persistent, always there. I am hoping that voice will shut up soon. Peace to all. Newcomer

Member: Mark W. Location: St. Louis Date: 8/8/01 Time: 3:13:00 PM Comments Newcomer, good post. Step two is part of what caused that voice to go away for me. Now I cannot really say it is gone, but it is weaker and nowhere nearly as frequent. I live a day at a time, and have been for over two thousand days. My life is not the hell it used to be. Changes have been nearly constant, and I trust my GOD to plan better than I ever could, so I go with the flow of life. I used to attempt to swim upstream in the river of life, and was very unsuccessful. Now I enjoy the view floating downstream. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com

Member: Beth M Location: Northern CA Date: 8/9/01 Time: 1:36:24 AM Comments Hey everyone...Beth here, alcoholic... Just read a lot of good stuff, thanx everybody for sharing. I relate to the newcomers and the 12-year-old. Step Two was easy for me when it came to alcohol. Clearly it was insane to keep doing what I was doing when it came to drinking. But somehow I've had a hard time applying it in other areas of my life. Lately I've been hitting yet another bottom of the emotional type. And know that another surrender is in order. Does God care about my happiness? I, too, have things I've wanted that I haven't had yet in sobriety. It's hard to accept that He (in the generic sense) is in charge but I have to do the footwork and trust in His plan for me. We all want what we want yesterday, ya know? Yes, we silly humans know so little...and God is so great, all the time. To those Newcomers...KEEP COMING BACK NO MATTER WHAT! And thank you for being here, we need you. Love to all, Beth

Member: Jack B Location: Palo Alto, Pa Date: 8/9/01 Time: 2:46:25 AM Comments Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Step two for me is our first act of faith, we are asked to believe in something other than ourselves. As far as the sanity being returned, I don't have to pick up a drink today, the obsession to drink has been lifted thru the amazing Grace of God. To sit here going on nearly 14 years of continuous sobriety and think maybe I can drink socially, that I have to have a drink, that is INSANITY. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.

Member: Sarah Location: NW USA Date: 8/9/01 Time: 10:49:57 AM Comments I love the second step ... it is the story of my life. P. 29 in the 12 x 12 it talks of another kind of problem: the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman. I have been called "crazy" my whole life because of the attacks of the "intellectually self-sufficient". The steps and traditions, especially this step has given me freedom (p. 30 in the 12 x 12, "By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we place humility first. AA has given the understanding of putting the Healing Power first.) Thanks AA!!! Keep coming back.

Member: Ann Z Location: Massachusetts Date: 8/10/01 Time: 11:04:35 AM Comments Hi everyone, I am new here and newly sober after a relapse. I am so glad I stumbled on this today because I have been having so much trouble remembering that GOD will do for me what I can't do for myself! I have been struggling for so long to get back to the program and it just came so clear to me today, reading these posts, that I need to come to believe again that only a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. Thank you all for the inspiration. THANX!!!!

==============================================================================

December 2 - 8, 2001 Topic: Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Member: Robin A Location: FL Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 3:42:31 PM Comments I can't ~ God can ~ so I think I'll let him.

Member: Sarah Location: NW USA Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 4:40:46 PM Comments "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Power greater than ourselves? Restored to Sanity? I was told it's the "Healing Power" p. 62 in the 12 x 12(step 5) ... "As the pain subsides, a healing tranquillity takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something else of great moment is apt to occur. Many an A.A., once agnostic or atheistic, tells us that it was during this stage of Step Five that he first actually felt the presence of God. And even those who had faith already often become conscious of God as they never were before. This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the following Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety." Thanks for the "Healing Power" one and all. Keep coming back.

Member: Jeff Location: NE. Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 6:44:28 PM Comments I'm Jeff & I'm an Alcoholic The best thing about this step is all I have to do is " come to believe" no musts, no have to's just " believe " no others conception of a "GOD", just a power greater than myself. All inclusive not exclusive. This I could handle. Baby steps ya know. I had a hard time with this GOD stuff when I was "new". I needed to know that I would be accepted for who I was, not what I did or didn't believe. I hope AA stays this simple for the "newcomers" sake.

Member: Adam H. Location: Nagano, JAPAN Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 8:12:57 PM Comments Adam, alcoholic. The Big Book says that we need to ask ourselves but one question: "Do I now believe or AM I WILLING TO BELIEVE that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity?" When I first asked myself this question, the only Power greater than myself that I was willing to believe in was Alcoholics Anonymous itself...good ol' G.O.D.--Group Of Drunks. Did I believe wholeheartedly right from the start that this Group of Drunks had the power I needed? Nah...I was very slow to trust Alcoholics Anonymous in the beginning. I think a few months of regularly going to meetings went by before I truly noticed a difference between how I felt before I came to the meeting and how I felt afterward. It seemed that nine times out of ten I always felt better after a meeting compared to how I felt before I came in. That combined with the fact that eight years before I had come to my first meeting seeking help, my mother had gone to AA and had, as a result, become an entirely different person from the violent, angry woman I had grown up with was enough evidence to convince me that this Group Of Drunks called "AA" was quite powerful--certainly more powerful than me trying to change on my own. And so, I came to believe... Grateful to be sober today.

Member: Chris S Location: Asheville, NC Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 8:42:44 PM Comments Hi, I'm Chris and a grateful sober alcoholic! It is a wonderful thing to feel the peace I get from believing and asking God to restore me to sanity. It is the feeling I searched for years for in a bottle. I remember someone emphasizing the "could" in the second step. All I did in the second step is come to believe. Like for Adam, it was gradual. I had more faith in the group than anything else for a while. But, during the first several months in the program I gradually came to believe in a higher power that I could not see or touch that could restore me to sanity. From the first couple weeks I humbled myself to try praying. Even on my knees. Amazing what I will do if I am beat up enough. Bottom line is I definitely had step 1. If I didn't have step 1, I don't think my mind could open up to believing God could keep me sober or return me to sanity. I had too much pride to admit my behavior was insane prior to coming to AA. It was only after I dried up and took an honest look at my life I could accept my disease and insane thinking. Today, when I get in the driver's seat and let my ego (edging God out) guide me and start to act like a drunk, character defeats taking over, I can come back to step 1 then 2..., and very quickly feel the sanity returning. Well, I have had a great day. Spent all day with my family. The kids are in bed, my wife's in work, I get to come on line and read your wonderful comments. Being sober is wonderful. Thanks for being there. Chris

Member: Jason n. Location: Indianapolis Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 9:25:40 PM Comments s'up dudes...ummm step 2, believing in a higher power...a power greater than me that is. I don't believe in God, I look at this from a scientific point of view. Still, all the same, I must believe in a greater power...the law. There will always be law, law will always be above me. There will also be me, a new me, a more experienced me. A me that has gained knowledge. I use me to control my thirst for alcohol. Good night, Jaysun

Member: moon Location: Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 9:31:52 PM Comments HI! I have been appointed to do AA meetings. I need some getting around this web sight because my computer skills suck.

Member: Jenn P. Location: Poconos, PA Date: 12/2/2001 Time: 10:53:33 PM Comments Jenn here, an alcoholic who is usually happy, joyous, and free. I was waiting all day for this step to get opened, and I get just what I needed. I have not been all right lately, and I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. I knew it was insanity, wrong thinking, and Chris put his finger right on it. EGO again! Easing God Out. Being the big I am. Forgetting that WE is the power. I went to a meeting tonight, and the speaker told my story as closely as I have ever heard it. I was in tears. It felt like I was new all over again. I am new every day. I forgot it's one day at a time. I have unreasonable expectations of myself and others. My character defects have been flaming!! They even bother me!! (lol) Which is a sure sign of trouble. So thank you Chris, and all who will share this week. I'll be waiting to read your experience strength and hope. 'Night now.

Member: JL Location: The Beach Date: 12/3/2001 Time: 12:45:34 AM Comments Thank heavens for Step Two. How I came to believe in a power greater than myself is still a mystery. But I did and it works. There is a lot of evidence in the program of alcoholics anonymous that there is a power that is keeping people sober when everything else failed. All of the prayer and meditation embodied in the program for me has its roots in Step Two.

Member: CASS S. Location: West Coast Date: 12/3/2001 Time: 2:13:36 AM Comments Understanding that insanity refers to ones behavior made the step2 easier to believe as I did not consider myself insane but I did know my behavior when drinking was insane... It took me time to gain trust in the program as I watched others that were sober for a while.. I soon ventured out to experience that step.. That was 20 years ago.... Jan 6 I will have not found it necessary to pick up a drink in 20 years...I am still learning alot teaching HOW IT WORKS....

Member: Curtis L Location: Goliad, TX USA Date: 12/3/2001 Time: 2:42:04 AM Comments Step 2 is my hope step, the one that required open-mindedness. I was hopeless on May 4, 1985 when I went to my first AA meeting. The first step, honestly, was half there; I knew I was powerless over alcohol (still thought I could do a little managing of my own life.)So I knew I had a problem. Didn't know if there was a solution. During that hour on May 4, 1985, I became open-minded to the possibility of a solution because these people were living examples of it. I gained a little hope. My initial HP was that group of drunks because they were doing something that I could not do. They gave me hope and then some Good Orderly Direction. Funny, but chapter 2 in the big book is titled There is a Solution, and that has always sort of linked together with step 2 for me. 1. Got a problem 2. There is a solution 3. next week. ~~~~~~~~ I'm new to this site, somewhat, and would like to get some cyber buddies. curtis093040@selectrec.net will hook you up to this crazy Texan. Curtis L.

Member: Pam B Location: Daytona Beach, FL Date: 12/3/2001 Time: 11:46:28 AM Comments Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, Step 2 is only asking whether I can believe there is a Power GREATER than the power booze/drugs had over me. It is not asking me to define that Greater Power nor to decide anything concerning it. Step 2 is the "prep work" for making our Decision about all that in Step 3. Step 2 prepares me with identifying just what my Insanity is: Self-will run riot. Me Thinking that my own Intelligence, Skills, Talents, Abilities & Know-how can figure things out for myself. (read each paragraph of Step 2 in 12&12 slowly, one at a time - stopping to identify how my own Thinking are those same Insane ways of believing I can run the show my own self) Reading pgs 60 thru 63 describes the cunning, conniving, manipulating ways I use Self-will ways in attempt to alleviate my own Fears & it never works. More of my Insanity. Alcoholism is a Disease that centers in the Mind. By my Own Thinking & Self-Knowledge - I have NO Defense Against that First Drink. A life run on self-will can hardly be a success. When My Way fails, I cannot fathom what is wrong w/me - blame God for not backing up my Self-willed attempts (poor me)& I drink! Step 2 is prep of identifying what my Insanity is that I need to be Restored from. Then I know what I am Deciding to Surrender & turn over to the Care of God as I understand Him in Step 3. There is no mystery as to "what is self-will versus what is God's Will" for my life. God's Will is that I decide to cease at the Insanity of running the show myself & let Him run it for me instead. "God is God & I'm NOT" Steps 10 & 11 later maintains this Decision on a daily basis - listening in meditation for the awareness of the Self-willed ways I need to leave in His Hands throughout my day - thus improving my conscious contact each day. Story in back of BB: "She Drank Alone" makes a good point that booze had been the 'god' running my life. Why be reluctant about the idea that a "Good" God who loves me could run it instead? Thanks for letting me share. Pam

Member: Linda W Location: Georgia Date: 12/3/2001 Time: 12:04:12 PM Comments Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. Means I had to recognize the insanity. I think that memories and revelations of prior and current insanity will come to me for the rest of my life as more and more denial peels away. I'm early in AA and have gone from agnosticism through this step. This belief seems to be the strongest during meetings and that's one of reasons I need them to keep it going, and be ready for step 3, which is where I am now.

Member: Jimbo C Location: Venice, CA USA Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 1:26:24 AM Comments My name is Jim and I AM an alcoholic. I opened up my freezer the other day and remembered how a bottle of Vodka always rested in the door. I would often drink from it for breakfast, washing down a couple of Zanax in the hope that I could get it together so I could make it to work. Then on my way to work I would have to buy the Orange Juice and a Pint of Vodka to sustain me till Lunch at the local bar where a Burger was always accompanied by some shots of Jack and a couple of beers. That was just part of the insanity. My Higher Power made the oceans and mountains, and my desire to leave the insanity is proof of a Higher Power working in my life. I have to "pray like a drowning man" sometimes to have the obsession of alcohol removed from me. But it works. Thanks for letting me share, God bless you all.

Member: Matthias Location: Germany Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 4:51:56 AM Comments Hi my name is Matthias and I am an Alcoholic. It took a couple of years for me to grasp that really god is keeping me sober and not me. Although I went to a lot of meetings and worked the steps, I had real problems with all the god stuff. So one day I was placed in a situation where I felt so hopeless that I knew that I no longer can keep myself sober. Through this total surrender I was for the first time really open to God and I then felt his presence. From that day on my whole view on the AA program has changed. I learned to know what peace of mind and real happiness means. Thanks for letting me share

Member: Debria K Location: Louisiana Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 8:59:55 AM Comments Hi, my name is Debria and I am an alcoholic. I think I'm what I've heard called a "fresh" one. Three days today, this time. I thank god that I'm still here for this brand new day and chance to start again. It's very early in the morning here. I sat down at computer to see if I could find a listing for local meetings, and I found this site. I do believe this "find" came direct from my higher power! Thank you, and Him, from the bottom of my heart.

Member: Kim D. Location: Bridgewater Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 12:48:02 PM Comments Welcome, Debria. Hope you stay with the journey. Step 2 for me has 3 parts: A) came to believe that b) a Power greater than ourselves c) could restore us to sanity. "Came to believe" was a process for me. It didn't hit me in the head like a bolt of lightening. TIME was a major factor in helping me become aware of a power greater than myself: time to feel, time to make mistakes, time to turn things over, time to get out of my own way. The "power greater than myself" I choose to call God and when I put my faith in him and stop manipulating and forcing things in my life, things turn out well. I had to turn over my desire for alcohol and drugs in the beginning on an almost daily basis, but TIME showed me that I can keep a drink down on a daily basis if I ask a power greater than myself for help. "Restore us to sanity" means, for me, to stop trying the same old things over and over and over. For the first year it was just keeping away from the insanity of the first drink. Today, with a little more time under my belt, restoring me to sanity applies to all aspects of my life where I try to manipulate things beyond my control. I was insane to repeat, for 14 years after coming to AA, that first drink. Now, I can return to sanity by staying away from that first drink and trusting God to lead the way in my daily living.

Member: Tim V Location: Poconos Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 2:56:14 PM Comments Yes, I came to believe and now I believe it (sanity) has actually happened. Although, I do confess to some insanity relapses on occasion. But then, that is what I use the rest of the steps for. Thanks for helping me stay sober today Blessings, Tim PS Hi Jenn

Member: Arlene M Location: NJ Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 3:20:10 PM Comments I've come to believe that sanity, like God's Will, is a process not an event. My understanding of both is subject to change on a moments notice if I try to remain honest, open-minded, and willing to learn. And to that I owe the program of AA and 26 years of sobriety this past month.

Member: Jimbo C. Location: Venice, CA USA Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 3:24:42 PM Comments My name is Jim and I AM an alcoholic. Grossly distorting our natural sensory perceptions through drink and drugs is insanity. It's like buying a bunch of 33.3 speed records and only playing them at 78 or 16 speed. My problem was I liked changing the speed, even though it caused me much pain. And then I would do it again. When I was drinking I said, "That was terrible, I want to do it again." I humbly ask my Higher Power to please release me from the bondage of obsessive drinking thoughts. Please present me with opportunities to be of service that take me out of myself. Thanks for letting me share, God bless you all.

Member: Michael B. Location: AZ Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 8:29:23 PM Comments Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only through the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares! Welcome newcomers! I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. The key to me being restored to sanity revolves around staying sober, which I have only been able to do through a power greater than myself and the Fellowship.

Member: Anonymous1/4 Location: New Hampshire Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 9:21:09 PM Comments insane; not sane; not of sound mind, mentally deranged; insane actions, set apart for the care and confinement of mentally deranged persons. utterly senseless. SYN, demented, lunatic, crazy, maniacal, foolish, irrational. Well no wonder I can't find a sensible answer in a meeting or on this thing! Hey just kidding! But anyways, this is a question I've brought up at step 2 book meetings from time to time. I've never really been satisfied with what I usually hear. In the BB +12+12 they seem to be implying that the insanity has to do with only alcoholism. In the BB pgs 56+57 there is a story about a man who had his alcoholism taken away in a matter of hours. It says on 57 GOD had restored his sanity. Even so GOD has restored us all to our right minds. Isn't it saying that the removal alcoholism is being restored to sanity? BB pg 38"where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane". Pg 42 mentions the alcoholic mentality. Pg 37 insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Pg66 the insanity of alcoholism returns and we drink again. BB pg 43 Once more: the alcoholic has no effective defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a higher power.

Member: Carla M Location: Date: 12/4/2001 Time: 11:03:06 PM Comments Hi my name is Carla and I'm an alcoholic. I've been in and out of the program for 5 years.. my longest stretch was 1 year.. my 1st year. I've always believed there was a power greater than me but I've always had a problem with the god part. it's not that I don't believe in god.. being brought up catholic but I can't relate to him in this sense. when I read Adam from Japan's description of god as being a "group of drunks" that hit the hammer on the nail for me. it's all us alcoholics that can get us through this because I have always felt true honesty and support from other alcoholics because we don't want to see anyone fail. though I haven't always been honest myself. I just have a problem following my own program. right now my on and off again sobriety is 2 days. I do believe there is a power greater than me and I'm more comfortable with knowing it can be the angel that I have watching over me.. I do believe in angels. I've searched and searched and try so hard to find that greater power because I thought it could only be the god I was born to know. adam..thank you for that description "a group of drunks" that I can relate to.

Member: Steven L Location: Mentone, CA Date: 12/5/2001 Time: 12:17:01 AM Comments After 15 years of going to meetings, participating in my recovery through being a part of this thing which is called sobriety, I find the page of the book which says: "we feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough." strangely comforting. I have come to believe there is a God, I'm not him and I better let life happen as it is supposed to, because of myself, I'm just not strong enough. I believe one of the Judeo-Christian leaders of old has been attributed with the quote, "If there wasn't a God we'd have to invent one." I kind of like that--especially since I no longer consider myself part of that culture. My god has a sense of humor--a god of love I've gone back into therapy to find--after umpteen times through the steps with a sponsor and 13+ years of sobriety. I have discovered God does protect drunks and fools and I qualify twice. I suppose this is sanity--compared to what I was before I came to this God blessed organization it is....

Member: FREDDY B GOOD Location: SUNNY SOUTH FLORIDA Date: 12/5/2001 Time: 11:43:18 AM Comments ALLAH BELIEVED, JESUS BELIEVED, BUDDHA BELIEVED, DAVID BELIEVED, MOSES BELIEVED............. WHO AM I TO SAY THEY ARE WRONG?!?! A DRUNK ON THE FLOOR?!?!? SO I CAME TO BELIEVE TOO!

Member: Mary K Location: NE Ohio Date: 12/5/2001 Time: 1:49:14 PM Comments all I know is that my "powers" were not working, neither were the powers of all my loved ones. it sure couldn't hurt to try "a power greater." it seems so simple now, but I'm sure that is also his power working. since the day I gave in the gifts have just kept coming. have a happy holiday everyone and if you aren't, go to a meeting or call some one, it helps.

Member: Jimbo C. Location: Venice, CA USA Date: 12/5/2001 Time: 3:20:41 PM Comments My name is Jim and I am an alcoholic. I feel a lot of pressure lifting off when I believe that their is a power greater than myself that is going to help me with my alcoholism. I don't have to do it all. I can pray and trust in this Higher Power. And I can accept that sobriety might just be "Okay", I don't have to float above the ground like a Buddha with rays of light shooting out from my head. I can be at peace, in God's care, and able to be of service. Thanks for letting me share, God bless you all.

Member: Carla M Location: Date: 12/5/2001 Time: 10:10:44 PM Comments Hi my name is Carla and I'm an alcoholic. this is day 3 for me and I have to pray to my higher power to make it through till I go to bed. every morning I am lucky enough to enjoy a walk on the beach before sunrise. it's so quiet out and I always look for the brightest star and talk to her because that is my angel..my higher power...I really need her guidance. I've had passing thoughts of having a drink today because I think "I'm okay now".."i can have just one".. but I have to keep telling myself I'm not and I can't and as long as I keep praying I won't. it's also important for me to be able to share...thank you for letting me.

Member: Lyla D Location: Polk City Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 12:12:57 AM Comments Sanity-what's that? Oh, not drinking is a good first step in the road to sanity. I found that this step was much easier then I expected, because the only thing I had to do was believe. Oh, wait, this was a hard one. My sponsor sat me down and asked me to look at my life and find the times when I thought that God was helping me out. Well, I soon discovered that my Higher Power was very busy watching my sorry a**. He kept me alive, out of jails or institutions and help me find my way to this program and the fellowship. Wonderful! Jimbo-love that analogy of the records-I used to do that when I was stoned because I thought it was a riot! I wasn't sick, was I? Great shares. Ya'll keep coming back-I need your ESH.

Member: Barry L Location: PA Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 12:23:11 AM Comments Debria and Carla, don't drink, go to meetings and listen, and keep praying to your HP. You are both lucky the last time I had three days, I was no where near having a Higher Power or being able to pray. Like Curtis shared it took me 12 years between my first AA meeting and my last first AA meeting to get the second half of the 1st Step. I was an atheist then so besides only having half a Step, whenever anyone mentioned a Higher Power or God, my mind tuned right out. At the end of my last drunk when I hit my Spiritual bottom (felt like I was no longer a part of the human race) I knew I had to go back to AA and get the God part or I would die soon. I also like what Freddy B Good shared, while in rehab reading "we agnostics" in the Bigbook "We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever." That line and others shortly after open up the way for me to Come to Believe, it still took a few months for me to start praying, my sponsor suggested that I just do it even if I didn't know what I believed in, I followed his suggestion, and things started to get better. It still took almost 1 1/2 years honestly working at Steps 2 and 3 before I was ready to do my Fourth Step, I worked and continue to work all the Steps, many of the Promises have come true in my life. Today I have a Concept of a Higher Power, which I can call God if I want to, it is not the God of any particular religion, but is the God of all of them. I also learned not to get hung up on the word "GOD" I looked up a definition once and it said simply " a superhuman or supernatural being or entity" I could live with that.

Member: Les Location: San Diego Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 12:33:37 AM Comments Does the mention of insanity in Step Two refer to general insanity or to the insanity which precedes the first drink or maybe both depending on the drunk's condition? Must the power greater than ourselves be God or can it be some other greater power? What sort of power can there be that can create a mental change great enough to restore sanity? The forgoing were all questions that ran through my mind, such as it was, when I first came to AA. I was an atheist when I got here and had been from the time I was 15 to 16 years old. So, any mention of God kind of put me off. My sponsor, along with several other AAs, suggested that I simply act as if I believed in God. This required that I go ahead and take the steps and hope for the best, which is what I did. An atheist on his knees saying the Third Step Prayer. Absurd. It wasn't long after that prayer that I began to notice that in the shower in the morning I was talking to my home group. You know picturing the members listening to what I was saying. The realization came that my HP was the AA group. It served the purpose to keep me sober while I continued taking the Steps. At some point, about half way through the Ninth Step, I realized that my Higher Power had become God, as I understood him. Well, there you have it, I took the Steps out of order, Step Two between Steps Nine and Ten, or did I? But, you see, I did come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, at least whatever sanity was required to stay sober and become a happy useful member of society. Through prayer and meditation my concept of my Higher Power changes as time goes by and I suspect that's as it should be. I pray that each and every alcoholic finds the joy that this program has to offer.

Member: Ardis ~ 4/11/85 Location: Running Springs, So Cal Mtns Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 4:51:56 AM Comments Welcome to the just sober and newcomers, it is so GREAT to see you here, welcome. I was very much like Kim D. had to take Step 2 in 3 parts, the ABC's. When I came into AA I was so full of defiance, I did not believe anything! Prove it, was my defense. I started with B) A Power greater than myself, yea, nah, maybe, I had one a long time ago, however, HE abandoned me. *grin. Wishy-washy like heck. It was such a BIG issue, mainly because I had not quit the debating society yet. My sponsor got so sick of me she told me, for heaven sake Ardis, borrow my God/Spirit for the time being, he does not have very much to do lately, until you get your own. Holy moley, I did not want to p*ss my sponsor off, and meekly said, ok I will (and I did). Next baby step for me was to go to part A) Came to believe, and indeed DOWN THE LINE I came to believe! I faked it in the beginning so my sponsor would not be mad at me. *smile. If I believed in "her" (sponsor's) God/Spirit, I was not responsible when he screwed up somewhere, aha, don't blame me, it was YOUR God! I surrender and believed a little bit in my own God by Step 6 and 7, and a full belief in my God by the time I was in the middle of doing Step 9. My God has LOTS of humor, I LOVE Him, what a character He is. Talk with ease, however respect, to Him, how neat this turned out to be over continuous sobriety time. C) The biggie for me was "insanity", I balked and screamed and fought that one every which way. I was NOT insane, if you had lived with him-mmmm you would be crazy too, blah, blah, blah. My sponsor one day overheard me muttering about that, AGAIN... she looked at me and asked me, WHERE does it say in Step 2 the word "in"sanity.... Duh! Stopped my muttering cold in its tracks, duh again. I needed to be returned to sanity when I drove with (my and other's) children in a drunken fog. I needed to be returned to sanity telling all those lies, I always got tangled up in, and the truth came out in the end anyway. I was selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and full of fear. That are not sane living terms for most. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. With my drinking that certainly was the case, I drank insanely. Thank you for letting me share, Ardis

Member: Jeff B Location: Northern CA Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 11:11:23 PM Comments Hi my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Step 2 is sweet. I first believed it a while ago but I can believe any time I think of it as long as I remember step one. abc abc abc p60 restore to sanity - I believe that step two specifically refers to step one. For me to drink is the most insane thing I could do (baring nothing)- I don't hang on to the illusion that I can safely or sanely drink booze these days. I don't drink. More About alcoholism - the chapter in our big book describes the hell out of me - I can tell specific examples in my drinking that sound almost exactly like the dudes in there (jim going to work on Tuesday morning is my favorite) If you are an alcoholic - I bet that the craziest thing you ever did was bone dry sober.......just like me....you took the first drink ...knowing where it took you before.....wishing and hoping for magic this time ...it can be different....here's how...down the hatch...whoops...oh w-hell....kaboommm! Then we wake up and do it again. I did it often and over and over. What was wrong with me? I am an alcoholic. We should not drink. We can and do but should not. I thank God and AA for letting me remember today that there is "no way no how" that I should drink today. I need something greater than myself, and get it each day as long as I do my part. Thanks to everyone for being here.

Member: Randy Location: Wayne, MI Date: 12/6/2001 Time: 11:23:01 PM Comments Hi my name is Randy and I am a real alcoholic. This step was put to me like this after a meeting. As I struggled with this my sponsor told me a story, he said that there was a sponsee and sponsor one day and the sponsee was having trouble with the 2nd step. The sponsor said come were going to the park but first we have to stop by the car. As the sponsor opened the trunk he told the sponsee to grab the kite and off to the park they went. In the park as they discuss the 2nd step the sponsor tells the sponsee to put the kite in the air, they talk some more then he says, let out all the string, which the sponsee does. After a while of talking the sponsor looks to the sky and asks, where is the kite. Sponsee replies, in the clouds. Sponsor says how do you know that. Sponsee says I can feel the kite tugging on the string. Sponsor says you mean to tell me that you believe the kite is in the clouds cuz you feel kite the tugging on the string. The sponsee say why yes. The sponsor says well then what's the problem you’re having with the 2nd step. Can't you feel god tugging at you. like the kite tugging at the string. The sponsee understood the second step.

Member: Robert R Location: S.W. Date: 12/7/2001 Time: 1:35:26 AM Comments Hi my name is Robert. I'm an Alcoholic. For me; I had to take a long look at my life. Then I had to ask how is alcohol is involved with my life. Was I too sick to function? That it was causing more problems than solutions. This was the first part of step one. Then I found out that the drinking and drugs was letting me down that, I didn't Know how alcohol and drugs would affect me. Judgment was not good. I was craving more and more to get to the same place I was yesterday. It became uncontrollable, longer and longer drinking sprees. I was a person that had gotten drunk more and more then the bottom dropped out, and I was on my way. so-- I can't,God can, let him. of course I had to come, to believe after the hospital! page 133 the Big Book. Because no one thinks they have a problem. Hope you all don't have to suffer to find too late like I did God bless, thank you for letting me share. GO TO A MEETING. It is better face to face then and only then will you know the fourth dimension. with love Robert.

Member: Ardis Location: So Cal Mtns Date: 12/7/2001 Time: 6:42:22 AM Comments RANDY, absolutely loved that kite/cloud story, I am going to use that when appropriate. Thank YOU, Ardis PS: Hello neighbor STEVEN in Mentone!

Member: Carla m Location: Date: 12/7/2001 Time: 9:45:45 AM Comments Hi my name is Carla and I'm an alcoholic. thank you Jeff for your words re having the first drink and where it leads. I haven't been doing well with my sobriety and the weekend is here and those were just the words I needed to see. this morning as I walked and prayed I asked for help to get me through. today I have five days but I've had month and even a year but its so hard sometimes. that one drink just takes it all away. thanks for listening...

Member: Must be done!! Location: Date: 12/7/2001 Time: 5:18:59 PM Comments Some people have been restored to sanity from the depths of alcoholic despair, at least as far as comparing past drunken patterns of behavior are concerned with their more stabilized patterns after reaching a certain level of sobriety; but when will we ever see some improvement in the insanity of this accursed drunken world of confusion that we are imprisoned in? something decisive and lasting must be done!!

Member: rg Location: Date: 12/7/2001 Time: 7:43:37 PM Comments I am still insane at times. I still continue to do certain things over and over again, expecting different result, sigh.. But, and I am told not to use that word except as a positive, I do believe that there is a power greater than myself... And, by the grace of G-d, I don't have to control my drinking today. That insanity has left me over a year ago after the 7th step. No more compulsion to drink, and that's a miracle and G-d, certainly not me. My Higher Power is always there to relieve the insanity. All I have to be is open-minded and see that His way is the better way. G-d bless us all, and may sanity and soundness of mind return

Member: jayme Location: ashfork Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 12:37:31 AM Comments I need someone to help me I've been wet for 25 yrs out of that I have been sober 11/2 plus 7 mos please someone help me

Member: Carrie M. Location: SE Utah Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 2:30:37 AM Comments jayme, my name is Carrie and I am an alcoholic. Your call for help is an answer to my prayer. I don't know how to help you, but my higher power came on to me in a way that I finally believed could restore me to sanity last August. I have a history of years of abstinence through NA and AA, and many more years of drinking. I am 43, and though I haven't doubted the presence of a higher power for a long time, I never believed anything could restore me to sanity. I didn't think it was possible for me. When I bottomed out I literally locked myself in my apartment for three or four days going through very scary, painful and probably life threatening DTs. I read and re-read the big book three times I think. I couldn't sleep and the clock just kept going around and around. I came to believe that if God could help all of those early alcoholics recovery - those written about in the big book, why not me? How arrogant could I be? I had just gotten home from my first commitment to a psyche ward. All my friends quit answering their phones. My three-year-old daughter was with my sister. I was alone like I never knew alone. I am grateful, soooo grateful to say I have not been alone since. Cutting to the chase, I started slow: God help me eat, help me shower, help me get to a meeting, help me walk down the street without fear. Less than four months ago. And today I had the nerve to let myself get angry and risk my sobriety because if you are lucky, and if I am smart, I'll remember an alcoholic cannot hang out in the luxury of anger. God please remove it - the anger, the insanity. Life is too good sober. Jayme, keep asking for help - ask god. bless you all. I wish you a sober 24-hours.

Member: Ardis Location: So Cal Mtns Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 7:42:48 AM Comments Hi JAYME in Ashfork, my name is Ardis, a female sober alcoholic. What I did when I reach that point of being sick of "being sick and tired", when I could not drink nor stop, I looked in the White Pages of the local Phone book and called AA. Most of local Central AA Offices have a 24 hour service. I was taken to an AA meeting by another lady that called me back and we agreed upon that I would meet her. That lady became my sponsor later in the Program. While going to AA meetings I still could not stop drinking, took me 9 months to finally open up my ears and eyes to get a moment of clarity. I was determined to stop, just could not understand how, and kept hanging on, drunk or dry WITH hope. Also I did not know what else to do nor where to go that tolerated me drunk. The people in AA told me to Keep Coming Back and don't drink in-between meetings or DURING the meetings. Whatever else was said to me, any love, hope, words, could not reach me, NOT AA's fault, my own, I was FULL of Defiance, NO ONE could TELL me anything. There is a solution to our alcoholism, that solution is in the first 164 pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, which can be bought for about $5 at any AA meeting. That Big Book has a chapter named There is a Solution and a chapter How It Works. The Program of AA is also in that Book. You NEVER have to drink anymore if you do NOT want to, that is a promise! To get to that point you have to do certain steps. I did everything (although sometimes reluctantly) what was suggested in that Big Book, MAINLY out of defiance, I was going to show AA that it would NOT work for me, MY CASE was different. Surprise, here I am, passing the message of recovery on after 16+ years continuous sobriety. My post is just one suggestion, I am sure others have their own stories how they got here and how they did it, to share with you. I'll keep positive thoughts going your way, that YOU also may walk the road to recovery. We care, Ardis - omardis@yahoo.com

Member: Nancy Location: Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 8:13:44 AM Comments Always believed in my Higher Power, but lost hope in my drunken state and became insane and too proud. Now I have completely surrendered and truly believe only God can restore my sanity, knowing in my heart that I can't do it alone.

Member: Jeff B Location: Northern CA Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 8:52:04 AM Comments My name is Jeff and I'm an alcoholic. Carla - You can make it! Trust your walks, keep looking for that peace and truth that we all need so desperately. We all only get little pieces of it but that all we need. Meetings, AA literature, and other alcoholics will help you along your path. I did not get AA the first time either. I have it today and AA and God have given me 1550 plus days in a row this time. All we can do is not drink today. Some days we just hang on to not drinking today ...Some days are so much more. I live for the days that are so much more. I drank on days when I was happy, on days when I was sad, on days when I was scared and unsure, and I drank on in between days. You and AA and God remind me that I can stay sober on these days too. I can not stay sober without God and AA. Remembering that is part of the beauty of steps 1, 2, and 3...abc... It is our foundation. I need them every day. Then we continue with the rest of the steps and try to build sober, comfortable, sometimes happy, free lives. Keep looking and you will find what you need each day. You are well on your way again! You're doing good. Hold on. Thank you (&God and everyone) for being here.

Member: Joy S. Location: Alabama Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 2:26:05 PM Comments Hang on, Jayme!! I know the desperation you feel. I have been sober now for over 4 yrs. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!! Get to a meeting, call AA and pray. Even if you don't believe it will help, do it anyway. I feel your pain and I'm sure others on this site do as well. We want to help! That helps us to stay sober. Please go to a meeting, reach out to someone as you did here. And don't ever give up. This program works! It really does!! We love you. May God bless your life as He has mine.

Member: Anne M. Location: Alberta Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 2:47:19 PM Comments My name is Anne, and I am an alcoholic, I came to AA 1 year ago. Many have asked me (aside from the obvious), what made you come to AA..spouse...court...my answer was none that they were offering. My answer, was that, aside from being an alcoholic, all that I knew that God wants me to be here. Since then, I've grown more "accustomed" to God's pace. I was spinning out of control for so long, I knew it for a long time, but could not stop. The 'insanity' of that grey/dark place. In an instant, everything stopped...things were very quiet..for a moment, in that blurred state of drunk&hopelessness, I suddenly saw clearly what I needed...I needed AA. I did not walk into that room under my own power, it was of a Higher Power. I 'Came To Believe' that I was not under my own steam any longer...but the sanity part? Well, lets just say, that HP has a lot of work ahead of Him, hope He realizes what He's got to deal with:), but, I look back, and I do respond (rather than react) differently to everything. There has been a spiritual progress. I do believe that God can restore me to sanity. To any newcomers, just start with today:). The book that helped me the most during that first year was "Living Sober", especially with the holiday season being here, this book will help show you how to stay sober, with confidence. Stick around...the 'less we drink, the better we sound':). It works if you work it:) Keep coming back...you can just read if you choose not to speak:). Your friend in recovery, Anne M.

Member: Harry K Location: United Kingdom Date: 12/8/2001 Time: 6:44:00 PM Comments Step 2 was easy for me. I always believed in a GOD. It had always been by own personal GOD as well, so I wasn't damaged by my parents' GOD or other people’s dogma. For me, the problem wasn't my lack of a faith in my GOD, it was the "Quality" of faith that I had. This GOD of mine was great for getting me out of a jam but didn't know a thing about "finance and romance" so I took care of that myself. Of course when one is insane with compulsion, the need to control and a total lack of self awareness, Its easy to forget the true power of him / her/ them. I did steps 1&2 as a package deal. I was broken, empty and completely and utterly demoralized and alone. I asked my GOD for help and as if by magic it immediately came. I knew then that my GOD really did exist, but it still didn't mean a thing to me until I was willing to develop and depend upon him /her/ them to run my life. STAY TUNED FOR STEP THREE!!

======================================================================================================= March 17 - 23, 2002 Topic: Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Member: Gabrielle P Location: Arlington, TX Date: 3/17/2002 Time: 2:55:59 PM Comments Gabrielle, grateful recovering alcoholic. This subject seems to be following me everywhere. And maybe that means I need to take a closer look at me. I didn't believe in a higher power when I first came to the rooms. The God of my childhood days was to blame for my demise in my eyes and heart. And it was not with just a little bit of effort that I had to change that way of thinking to remain sober. I remember going to a meeting one night and hearing someone share about the emptiness inside, and I began to think hard about what was inside of me. I had to imagine a place where the light of my higher power could burn inside of me. The place I had set aside was full of bitterness and heartaches and blame and resentments. Self-hatred ruled my heart and it was black with anger and rage. I had to clean that up, I had to find a way to make that place bright and good again so I could believe again that I had a chance to be released from the damned evil that consumed me. I felt so terrified and alone, I had to reach out, and God (whom I chose as a higher Power) just had to be there. But He was not the God that I had grown up with. And my mind and heart began to clear and I began to see a difference in my life, trusting just a little bit more each day. I eventually was able to feel the difference and know that my Higher Power was with me every where I went. My life was beginning to change and become better and I felt like a new person. I was beginning to experience that I was changing in spite of myself. That was what let me know that God could and would, if I seek Him out.

Member: Adam H. Location: Nagano, JAPAN Date: 3/17/2002 Time: 6:25:28 PM Comments Adam, alcoholic. I think the key word in this step is COULD because the question for me was not whether or not I believed in God (I didn't when I came into AA); instead it was did I believe that something more powerful than Adam COULD straighten out Adam's behavior. I knew I couldn't do it on my own. Not drinking was not enough for me because I was just as out of control sober as I was drinking, and I was going to die if I continued to live that way. All I can say is that I am grateful that there was a man in my homegroup who said that for him the letters G.O.D. once stood for Group of Drunks. That made a lot of sense to me. My mother had gotten sober in AA 8 years before I crawled in, and I had seen that AA worked. She was not the same woman I grew up with. I didn't know what exactly happened in those meetings, but if it could change my mother, it could possibly change me. Again, I didn't know if God could restore me to sanity, but this Group of Drunks seemed to be able to do it. On a daily basis they were telling me to do things that worked for them: "Get a Big Book and read it." "Get a sponsor and work the Steps with him." "Get a homegroup and show up no matter what." The people who said these things seemed to be really happy in sobriety, which I didn't think I could be when I came in. I got hope when I heard these people and accordingly, I came to believe that these people COULD help me if I allowed myself to trust them. That is just what came to pass. Today I haven't had a drink in over five years and I am happy in sobriety. I owe that to a Group of Drunks. Grateful to be here and sober.

Member: BrianR Location: VA Date: 3/17/2002 Time: 9:30:19 PM Comments The higher power I see in my recovery is not at all "higher" but "different." When I chose to change my life I didn't look for a God, but I looked to change the environment, i.e. people that I was hanging out with. Hanging out with people who didn't have to drink to have a good time was how I managed to change my habits. We all need help, whether that help comes from faith, friendship, or both, doesn't matter. finding something that will assist you in staying sober and be there for the long haul is what matters.

Member: Scott D Location: eastern Washington Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 11:11:55 AM Comments Scott Alcoholic I surrendered about 7 months ago, because Scott was like a bad director in a bad movie. Scott’s movie was pretty sad, and now one was coming to Scott’s movie, but Scott. Any way there is a better way to live, and that I have found with AA and a power greater than myself. That would be god as I under stand him. I thank him every day for another day of being sober. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Kjoe Location: NYS Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 11:25:07 AM Comments Hi All Kjoe Alcoholic/Addict, This Step goes along with the Discussion Topic...Self will, ego deflation.... I needed help when I first came into the rooms of AA/NA and I found a bunch of Powers greater than myself.. A Group. Of. Drunks... Hard to admit but, I the all-powerful Kjoe was out of control and was up to my neck in a legal nightmare...I needed lots of help to stay sober and found that with the PEOPLE of AA... They taught me Good. Orderly. Direction. That if, I did not pick up a drink or, drug that my life would get better. And so, it has been for a good many moons. That, to me was simple to understand...... But, there is another side of the coin here .... to some the whole Idea of having some sort of self will or, ego is a bad thing. And we must cast out our self-will and ego to have an un-natural dependence on a power greater than ourselves or GOD.. I believe that one's own self will can be used to stay clean & sober....... just as it was once used to keep us high and drunk. I believe that ego is a good thing when it is the right size. This Group. Of. Drunks. restored me to sane thinking and behavior. I have not made the insane choice to pick up a drink or drug in over 15 years. ....kjoe

Member: Mary W. Location: California Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 6:15:05 PM Comments I truly believe in God, but I believe I ask Him for so much. But I have asked him to help me stop drinking, but last night when I was having a good time, I said it's okay, you don't have to listen, I'm having such a good time, but please help me get home safely with my children in tow. What a loser I am, driving with my children.

Member: Donnie M (D.O.S. 3-1-99) Location: Short Gap, W.Va. Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 6:33:26 PM Comments Hi all Donnie here and I’m an alcoholic and I believe I started this step my last night of drinking because I knew that I was powerless over (we will just say any substance) and I had blamed God for just about every little thing that had happened in my or my families lives. I sat there that night on these church steps after fighting the suicidal thoughts for the last time to either have the desire to drink leave me or to have my life end right then and there. I am not saying I had a big awakening or anything like that , but something happened that night. I have honestly excepted God as my higher power and I thank him every morning for the gift that has been given to me and thank him at night for my day cause if I didn’t drink in the day I find that my life is getting better all of the time. I will end with this I have found a higher power and the funny thing is he was there all along just waiting for me to ask. God bless all and thanks for letting me share.

Member: shaly Location: Texas Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 10:05:07 PM Comments Hi: I’ve never done this before. I’ve never said that I think I’m an alcoholic. I know I have a major problem on my hands, writing this just proves it to me. I have to believe that there is help outside of myself because obviously I can't help myself. If I could have done this alone, I’m sure I would have. I’m out of control and have been for a while now. So here I am, contemplating how to change my life and I guess it doesn't matter if it's GOD or a group of drunks at this point. I just need help.

Member: Mike .T Location: Michigan Date: 3/18/2002 Time: 10:40:51 PM Comments Hi my name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic this step was hard @ first but then my sponsor said do you do the things you used to do and by gods grace I don't and that is a blessing. My thoughts and actions are changed and I had nothing to do with it, I just ask God and you people for help One day @ a time and my life has changed into the miracle you told me it could be. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Bill F Location: Lost Angeles Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 1:18:04 AM Comments Was there a power greater than myself? Well I did have this thing with alcohol that I couldn't control. So there was a power that was keeping me very much insane. After a while sober I realized how much clearer my thinking was and how my actions had changed. And I had to admit I hadn't done it. On to Step 3. After 17 years, even my shrink says I'm sane.

Member: Scott K Location: Rochester, NY Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 7:27:47 AM Comments Hi, I'm Scott - Alcoholic I'm still on first step and am pretty much convinced that I am helpless over alcohol and my life is not manageable when I am drinking. I am going to F2F meetings most every day and go to 3-4 first step meetings every week. Second step is going to be hard for me because past hardships and my drinking have really soured my idea of God. I do know that since I have made the commitment to myself to stop drinking and go to AA meetings, that many good things have happened in my life. I honestly don't have the enormous un-controllable cravings for drink. I am also changing very much in my ideas of what is important and am becoming a much more balanced person. My wife of 33yrs(I'm somehow still married!!) is approaching me about starting over and that is a miracle in itself considering the hurt that I have caused her. I am really trying to look at these things as a HP working in my life, there seems to be no other explanation but this alcoholic mind is still skeptical. I will keep trying as I work toward step 2. Thanks for listening.

Member: Connie S Location: Riverside, NJ Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 8:24:03 AM Comments Hi all, I am an alcoholic named Connie. The G.O.D part... Group of Drunks... helped me soooo much early on. I could not stop drinking. You all could. I could not stop cussing, you all showed me how a woman is appropriate. I could not stop hating myself. You all showed me how to walk with grace and dignity, AND gave me the time in which to learn. In the beginning I did what you said, went where you said to go, and tried to do what you all did. Now I realize my GOD is that Higher Power who I knew all my life. He spoke through you all. Even now, without a drink, insanity still returns to visit. With the tools of this program, I just don't entertain it long anymore. I still do as I am told, but now the voice sometimes comes from deep inside me. It still says, don't drink, go to meetings and just be nice. Thanks C.

Member: John Wesley Location: Hymn 792, Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 5:45:48 PM Comments RETURN O wanderer, to thy home! Thy Father calls for thee; No longer now an exile roam, In guilt and misery. Return O wanderer, to thy home! "Tis Jesus calls for thee; The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come;" O now for refuge flee! Return O wanderer, To thy home, Tis madness to delay; There are no pardons in the tomb, And brief is mercy's day...

Member: Alani W. Location: Northern California Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 9:15:17 PM Comments I was raised in a church that portrayed a vindictive God. I was afraid of Gods' wrath for most of my life. The people in the church attributed every negative happening to God. It was hard for me to believe that this was a God of love. The most powerful part of the program is the prayer and meditation. That is where I met my higher power, and this God is one of love, light and justice. Whenever I want to communicate with God, I say the serenity prayer, and feel that peace that come over me. I begin and end each day with a prayer, and use the serenity prayer throughout the day. God could and would if he were sought. I don't know exactly when in my recovery my higher power became one with me. I prayed so much that it took a while to realize I was not alone.

Member: Mary W. Location: Capital of California Date: 3/19/2002 Time: 9:17:22 PM Comments Hi, this is my 2nd time here. Came here yesterday. I always said that I would seek help if I hit bottom. I believe I came close when I drove in my 2,000 lbs. of steel (or more??) with my most precious cargo in the back seat after having 1 margarita and 3 beers in a 2 hour period. My mom tried to tell me, but I said I'm fine I'm fine, but I know I wasn't. I was just past the threat of getting caught by a cop and right before the threat of killing someone. This is the first time in my life I've been able to read or hear what AA people have to say and not dismiss it. It feels really good. Just like when I lost weight, I was "ready." SHALY, you have to be ready!! You have to say enough is enough. I like to drink, but is it all worth it??? Signed, Mary 42 hours sober.

Member: Jack B Location: Palo Alto, Pa Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 1:33:32 AM Comments Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Step two for me was my first act of faith, I was asked to believe in something other than myself. I always believed in God, my problem was that I didn't have faith that God would help someone like me. Our Big Book doesn't demand that we believe in God, it says it is essential that we believe in the power of God. Thru the amazing Grace of God I don't have to drink today, and that is the sanity that has been restored to this alcoholic. To drink today is deliberately forgetting that I am an alcoholic. Thru God's amazing grace, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I have enjoyed 14 years 4 months of continuous sobriety. God Bless all on our amazing journey.

Member: Dorothyann M Location: central jersey Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 12:15:28 PM Comments I can't do this on my own. I have tried. I am powerless over alcohol and drugs. I was clean and sober for 5 1/2 years, went out for 6 months on R&D. It did not work. I thought God (my HP) had seriously forgot about me prior to going out...I was quite mad at Him. I humbly asked Him on March 17th, 2002 (which would have been my 6th anniversary had I not picked up) to please allow me to ask Him back into my life. You see He never left me...I was the one who threw Him aside. I talk to Him now at so many different parts of the day it is amazing. I came to believe (again) that I have no power. I NEED a power greater than myself to restore this thick headed Irish Lass to sanity. I am nothing alone. With my Higher Power and all of you I can accomplish anything. Please keep me in your prayers, as I will keep all of you and all sick and recovering alcoholics in mine. Love to all, da gypsy

Member: Nola K Location: New Mexico Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 12:39:32 PM Comments Hi all; Nola here, Remembering when I was drinking and using, and believed I was in control and there was no God. and then when things got really bad towards my bottom every time I got in trouble I yelled at God for either help or to blame him. I still do that from time to time in the program after 20 years the difference today is I believe he exists and he loves me or I would never have found my way to these rooms and to this way of life. When I ask God to forgive my past indiscretions and to forgive my current character defects when they raise their ugly heads he does, My God is either a God of grace or he isn’t God He forgets when I ask for that, I am the one who keeps dragging STUFF back up and into my life. That’s my insanity today! FAITH; F-fantastic A-adventures I-in T-trusting H-him Thank you, for keeping me sober one more day.

Member: Bill H. Location: Orland Park, IL Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 1:17:54 PM Comments I am Bill and I'm an alcoholic who is sober today through God's grace and this fellowship. The God whom I thought was vengeful and punishing never really existed if I honestly looked at my life. It was convenient for me to have an idea of a scorekeeping God because who would want a relationship with a God who was waiting for me to screw up. My original sponsor, who died after sponsoring me for 19 years, told me of a God who had been waiting for me to ask for help, who would come to meet me as the Father ran down the road to meet the Prodigal Son. I had missed the point of that story for years, focusing on how the other son got screwed with no fatted calf or party. As the Big Book story on acceptance says we have to change the lenses on our glasses. I know how much God loves me today. Just think of how big God's fridge must be to have all of our pictures on it. The 4th step showed me the need to be restored to sanity even if up until then all the 2nd step meant to me was faith. I'm glad I had that faith by the time I finished my first 4th step and could see the need to be restored to sanity. I still need restoration at times today. I just marked 22 years of sobriety but when I falter I can still run down that road to meet my father for forgiveness, and sanity.

Member: Tom A. 7/25/60 Location: Carlisle, AR Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 1:57:00 PM Comments Good Afternoon, Tom Anderson here, a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we call AA During the month of February this year. I used Step 2 and Tradition 2 as a part of my morning meditation. I have found this to a way that I can maintain a daily contact with AA I try to focus upon a word of phrase from the Step or Tradition and this year I chose the word "Power" from Step 2 and the phrase "a loving God"from Tradition 2. This exercise, I discovered that the "Power" I serve today is a "loving God" that is able to provide Good Orderly Direction each day. The insanity that I need to watch our for is the next First Drink. It is Groups like Staying Cyber and the many face-to-face groups that provide help as we trudge together this happy road to destiny. Love and prayers from an alky who cares. God Bless - Tom Anderson, cte50203@centurytel.net

Member: Shellie w Location: cali Date: 3/20/2002 Time: 11:40:48 PM Comments Well I hope that god restores me to sanity, cuz right now I’m crazy, and I have fallen so many times in a short period, haven’t yet tonight, but want to. I live in a small town and meetings never seem to be around the time I’m ready to get hammered, but I guess god is doing it I hope so, I might as well give the credit there, still trying to "get it" I guess. I look at these messages and that one where the lady drank with her kids that is something I did on a regular basis. I have to stay out of the cars.

Member: Ray C Location: Haines Alaska Date: 3/21/2002 Time: 2:41:37 AM Comments I’m Ray an Alcoholic...I seem to remember at a point when I had maybe one or two years without a drink that I realized just what the insanity of alcoholism was and that I definitely had suffered with it. The fact the I would continue to drink knowing what was going to happen as a result of it. I think the big book likens it to repeatedly walking in front of a moving streetcar or auto, suffering worse injuries each time but still jumping in front of it after each recovery. Anyway after a year or whatever of attending nightly meetings and hearing peoples stories I realized that was just what I had done. It also became obvious to me that if I continued to make meetings and do what I had been doing since I'd quit drinking I had a choice and didn't have to return to that insanity. I guess you might say I used the AA, Group of Drunks, as my higher power at that point. Simply put I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I can't say I did much of anything besides believe in the program and not drink between meetings and the step sort of took me. It was really that simple for me, not easy but simple. All I know for sure is it worked for me and I'm grateful today that it did.

Member: Tom Mc. Location: Pennsylvania Date: 3/21/2002 Time: 10:50:43 AM Comments Hi I'm Tom Mc and I'm definitely an alcoholic. I was in what I thought was recovery for about 5 years. I went out about 8 months ago and have been drinking and still going to meetings when I felt sober enough to. I have been beaten by this thing called alcohol. I pray to a power I know is there but have feelings of being abandoned by HIM. I want to be sober again and let God direct me. Thanks, Tom Mc

Member: Steve Location: Indiana Date: 3/21/2002 Time: 11:01:00 AM Comments Step 2 was the beginning of some spiritual relief. After finally being ready to give AA a good try, I was taking a walk one day along the river. It was a nice sunny Fri afternoon about 4 or 5pm. Would normally be drinking by now even tho supposed to work until 6. Started saying steps to myself, as I had been in and out of AA a few yrs so almost knew them by heart. When I got to second step it was a spiritual experience. Not burning bush or lighting bolt but serene. Realized a HP or God of my understanding could restore me to sanity. I've never forgotten that and it’s over 8 yrs later, sober with a lot of good help. Thanks for reminding me of the inner peace possible with steps 2 and 3. Steve

Member: Tessa W. (dannwhitley@yahoo.com) Location: Amarillo, Texas Date: 3/22/2002 Time: 1:54:42 PM Comments Easy! Step 1: I can't Step 2: He Can! Step 3: I think I'll let HIM!

Member: JK Location: Hollywood Date: 3/22/2002 Time: 5:43:35 PM Comments All right.... I’ve been fighting the first step.... now I understand...with that simple posting.

Member: Michael B. Location: AZ Date: 3/22/2002 Time: 7:29:26 PM Comments Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers! The greatest obstacle for me in coming to believe that a Higher Power could restore me to sanity was not that He was incapable of restoring me to sanity--as my God was the omnipotent God of the Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. The real question for me, borne out of my personal experience, was would He? I could only find out the answer to this question by staying sober and practicing the principles of the program to the best of my ability.

Member: Bettybee Location: OH Date: 3/22/2002 Time: 8:07:16 PM Comments Tom Mc ... that's a desperate place to be ... knowing there is a higher power, but feeling that you're not one of his favored people. To get back on track you have to stop drinking. Alcohol is handling everything right now ... fear, anger, loneliness, shame, etc. It's your power. And it will continue (at least for a while), as long as you keep drinking. That means you do not NEED another power. Feelings are just that.... feelings. Doesn't make them facts. Feeling deserted by God is simply a feeling, not a fact. My prayers for the still suffering go to you this day.

Member: Virginia Location: Oklahoma Date: 3/23/2002 Time: 1:47:18 AM Comments Step 2 was a powerful tool that I used each time I shared in a meeting. I would say at the end of my *pitch* that I really believed that my HP could and would restore me to sanity. Did it work??? All I know is that in 18 yrs I haven't been in one nut-house and prior to that I was locked up more than once.

Member: Rich R Location: Detroit Date: 3/23/2002 Time: 8:43:36 AM Comments "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." I guess I had to come to meetings long enough to realize that a power greater than myself had led me into INsanity before I could get the second step. I never realized the extent of my insanity until I came to meetings and heard you people telling MY story. When you told it, it sounded different and I could be objective about some of the stuff I had done. The tricky part about insanity is it is a gradual process of losing tough with reality. I could always make excuses for my odd behavior until I stopped drinking and started looking at all the wreckage in one big picture. Then there was no denying the reality - I was quite a ways from where I wanted to be. I might as well give this NEW higher power that you folks were using a try. You guys seemed pretty happy and some of you had some impressive abstinence dates! Thanks.

Member: Kevin M. Location: B. Ohio Date: 3/23/2002 Time: 5:14:39 PM Comments Came to Believe, it was a long hard road. Yes I believe that a greater power than myself was needed to help me, oops flip the m in me so that it will become a w, we to become sane for perhaps for the first time. Could restore us to sanity, us, daggone it there it goes again not revolving around me. Guess the Higher Power may use other people to help us back to a somewhat serene way of living if we work for it in our sobriety. Thank you for this meeting.

Member: Norman C Location: Reading, PA Date: 3/23/2002 Time: 7:05:34 PM Comments My only problem with this step was the sanity part. I did not think I was out of my mind or nuts. I just couldn't stop drinking. Eventually I realized that my drinking career was not that of a normal person, and, whatever it meant, I knew that I had gained the desire to get sobriety. I had a problem with the sanity issue because I have a sister who had to be in a mental hospital and get electric shock treatments. Eventually I came to realize what this step really meant for me - the belief that a higher power could help me. I no longer have a problem with this.

Member: Dan D. Location: Chicago Date: 3/24/2002 Time: 9:42:53 AM Comments I remember taking a walk on the day before I was to be released from the state nut house. They finally gave me a pass to walk the grounds. It was a beautiful evening, a dramatic sun set filled the sky and I knew that whatever happened in my life that it would be just fine so long as I didn’t give in to drink. I had heard this kind of thing at meetings for years and just figured people were trying to look "spiritual". How wrong I was. I didn’t know that experiences like I had are real. Today the thing I have remember is that I have to maintain that spiritual health through selflessness, prayer and meditation, and forgiveness. Have a great sober day. Those of us still having a hard time please keep coming back. Sometimes It's in our deepest time of sadness that we begin to see.

==================================================================================================================== https://www.angelfire.com/sc3/step2/index.html