"I was working at Home Depot just to pay the bills, and the only audition I could get was Baywatch," he tells Maxim. "The day of the audition, I got on the wrong bus, ended up in South Central L.A., and by the time I got to the audition, they wouldn't let me in. I remember thinking: 'Right now, this sucks ass.'"

"I'm a pretty introverted kind of guy," says Seann. "I can be social sometimes, but I think I feel most comfortable being quiet."

"I was a total athlete," says Seann. "I loved sports, but when when I realized I wasn't going to be a professional athlete, I realized I wanted to be in movies."

"[After American Pie], everywhere I went, I got called Stifler," says Seann. "It was great for a while, but then I was like, 'Okay, I'm at church right now...'"

"I wasn't really a good worker," says Seann of his varied pre-acting career. He also held jobs as a handyman, at a retail store and in a restaurant. More

"Great you found lesbians"

"I will do anything to sleep with you girls. I'll touch any guys' ass here. Hell I'll caress it even. I'll shave some ass if they need it" (not so sure if i have it exactly correct)

"Eat Shit Shitbreak"

"Hey Ozzy coming to the party tonight ya Fuck face?"

"oh my god you're gay"

girl: you know? i don't know if i wanna be doing this stifler: doing what?? girl: well you know like if we hook up tonight tomorrow i'll just be some girl you go telling all your friends about stifler: [laughs and looks away] no way [almost sips the beer] girl: STEVE you can at least look at me when you say that!! Stifler: look....SARAH i wouldn't go telling stories or anything about you i promise. so just relax take it slow and let the good times roll girl: ok

"i can taste the bubbles [licks his lips] no i can't"

"you comin' to the party tonight ozzy ya fuck face??"

"Awww yeah! The Stiflermeister is coming back to Granharbor! Deck the halls, Bye bye GreatFalls, wipe my ass and lick my balls and it's Stifler time baby! Whoooooo Hoooooooo!!!!"

"Very uninteresting. And how about you Jessica, how many chicks did you sleep with this year? "

"Where are the fuckin' females? Jim, can't you leave your shirt on your scaring the chicks away."

"Oh my God. Guys! Check it out. (pointing at the two girls who are holding hands) Lesbians. Lesbians live here!"

"Shitbreak meet my little brother. Little brother meet Shitbreak. "

SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!

More

EL: well there are these rules that guy have and understanding is to what exactly constitutes cheating. take your situation for example [laughs] it is not cheating. it's never cheating when you're in a different area code not to metion a different state KYLE: that makes no sense EL: hey don't look at me i didn't make up the rules RUBIN: no no this is lagit i've actually read acticles about this there's a whole bunch of them it's like they're like loop holes right? for arguments say you were sleeping with two girls at the same time it wouldn't be cheating 'cause they would cancel eachother out JOSH: AWW EL: EXACTLY! or if uh you're too wasted to remember it is not cheating. 'cause if you can't remember it it never really took place

I could use some Professional assistance

What am I gonna do stay here and learn?

"We got chic's forsale"

"Barry hit the lights it's bonor time"

"Your bid didn't count"

"Well your bouncing around here lkie you Richard f*cking Simmons"

"What do you think little man? Don't you ever want to experiance something new? It ain't easy being Josh's P*nis, I've moved in here for over two months now, I feel like I've been in a coma or something. I wish I was your d*ck EL, cause this is torture. If something dosen't happen soon I'm gonna just pack up my b*lls and leave"

E.L: 'Let's go, Kyle. We want details. What happened?'

Kyle: 'We we drank, danced a little and uh, you know.'

E.L: 'No, we don't know. Why don't you tell us? (Kyle holds up a really big pair of leopard skin pants) What the hell is that? Did you kill a Cheetah?'

KYLE: 'Wait, let me at least go back and call my dad.'

E.L: 'Call your dad? Would you listen to yourself, your 19 years old and your a fucking sisi. All you ever do is sit in the Library and play miss with those excahnge students. It's pathetic.'

JOSH: 'No, no. What he's trying to say is be a risk taker. For once in your life. Come with us.'

KYLE: 'You guys are just saying that because you want my car.'

JOSH: 'No, no, we have always liked you.'

E.L: 'Or you can just give us the car. I mean that would make him a risk taker, right?'

More

Billy: "I took my driver's test at the DMV last week. Got a 70. Its the lowest score you can get, but I passed. The thing is, when I was done with the test, you know the guy who drives with you, you know during the test." Alex:"Yeah" Billy: "well, uh, he goes 'Young man, you're going to die at a young age.' Yeah...is that true?" Alex "Not now, not here, not ever, Billy," Billy: "If I ask out Cynthia Paster, will she say no?" Alex: "F*ck..." Billy: "Okay, yeah..." Alex: "yeah..."

"Listen if you want to prove how big your balls are (to carter)... not now..."

"I was in the bathroom and the door got stuck... oh wait, but i didnt fight with anyone!... DAMN

"carter you d*ck"

"I knew I should've felt up tammy in the pool that time"

Uhu.. No habla english..

"Dude, what does mine say?"

"Where's your car dude?"

"I always wondered what a fridge full of pudding would look like"

"Ok look. I know what we need to do. We need to get back into the state of mind that we were in last night. That way, we can retrace our steps. Sense memory, simulator, perception, altered conscienceness, memory retrieval."

"Shibby"

"Sweet"

"Dude, you touched Christy Bonor's Whoo-Whoo's Low Five"

"Look, A Unicorn"

"Ok look. Why dont u give me the pleasure? Then we give you the continiuum (im not sure how u spell that!) transfunctioner, then if there's time youy can take care of my friend"

Home