This was written by a fellow lupie and I
wanted to share this with you all.
Oh, the comfort
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person
Having neither to weight thought
Nor measure words
But pouring them
All right out, just as they are
Chaff and grain together,
Certain that a faitful hand will
Take and sift them.
And with the breath of kindness
BLow the rest away.
Written by Dinah Craik
Sometimes you can only take so much of that positive attitude. Sometimes you feel so bad that you want everyone to know it. Sometimes you want them to fele just as bad. So what? I look good. I have apples in my cheecks. Im always so upbeat. Guess What? I have bad days too. I feel like going nto bed and covering up my head. I feel like I want the world to by-pass my door. I hurt! I'm tired! I can't seem to sleep! Leave me alone! You just cant possibly understand. I dont feel like reading another one of those feel good, you can do it articles. Dont tell me if I take the miracle pill it will cure my illness. I know there is no cure. Remission? Oh sure..tell me more. Remission, when you are still tkaing 21 pills a day? Uh huh...sure. Don't call me I won't answer. You have to talk with the machine. Who knows when I'll call you back. Pphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttt!! Hisssssssssss!!
Well, I got that off my chest. And I do have days like that from time to time. Thank God not too often ! And it usually only lasts a couple of hours. It's one of htose things that when you ask God, Why me? and he answers, "WHY not you?" Exactly! Why not me? I can take this lupus and fibro and all other problems and sit here on my trusty (sometimes trusty) computer and type out my frustrations by helping others. At least I hope I am helping others..I sure dont want to be part of the problem.
The building blocks of effective communication are feelings, needs, and perceptions. Feelings come from needs met or not met and color our perceptions and drive our behavior. Hey, sometimes our behaviors are not pleasant to be around...and sometimes our friends behaviors are the same way. What a bonus to have a friend you can Say what you feel, and know that you'll have that friend afterwards. Listen to my frustrations, understand that it will be a passing thing even if it returns from time to time. Then be kind. Dont be sympathetic, but be empathetic. Dont judge me or blame me. Laugh at my outburst with me. And then we will change the topic and I will go on with a smile the rest of the day.
Am I being self-pitying? Am I trying to get attetnion? Am I fearful? Maybe a little of all three. It's probably normal under the circumstances wouldn't you say? As long as it doesn't happen too often. Hey, I know that none of my family and friends would want to be around me if it happened regularly. And I need each and everyone of you. Dont see me as a complaining woman. Instead see me as someone who can be vulnerable to her pain and predicament, but who also handles it very well. Will you buy that statement? I hope so! Sometimes we need to attempt to identify our feelings and express them.
Are you: adverturous, affectionate, afraid, agitated, alarmed, alert, alive, aloof, amazed, amused, angry, anguished, annoyed, anxious, apathetic, apprehensive, arounded (later dear), ashamed, astonished or in awe?
How about: bewildered, bitter, blah, blissful, blue, bored, brave, brokenhearted, buoynant? Or: calm, carefree, cautious, cheerful, cold, comfortable, compassionate, complacement, composed, concerned, confident, confused, content, cool cooperative, courageous, creduluous, cross, curious? Maybe: deferential (isn't that a part of a car?), defiant, dejected, delighted, dependent, depressed, detached, disgusted, distressed, eager, ecstatic, effervescent, enthusiastic, envious, exhausted..and so on and so on.
When you get overwhelemd with your feelings, dont get closed up---find someone you cah share them with. Dont think you can do that? Then write a posting or a letter to that person. Let them tumble out and then say, Ok, now I feel better. And you will. Then get on with the day, get out of youreself and into someone or something else. Nothing makes you loose interest in your pain, more than doing something for someone else. Listen to me, this is not just another "Feel good" article.
IT'S ME TALKING!!!!!!!!!!
