Every human endeavor has its share of heroes and villains...
this site included.  Time will tell the ultimate tale, I suppose, 
but it is my hope that when the dust settles, I'll be more in the 
"hero" category than villain....perhaps not, but I'm hopeful.  
It's no secret to the small band of stalwarts who have been with me 
since these pages first began coming together....we've had our share 
of hardships, ups, and downs just trying to keep this place more or 
less running, but it is my hope that the darkness is behind us and 
fading quickly, leaving us with smooth seas and wonderful adventures 

And despite several bouts of uncertainty along the way on my part, 
one thing I am, and have always been sure of, is this:  If this 
humble collection of pages you are now perusing ever had a hero....
ever had one strong, pure voice to speak up for it, then that voice 
would belong to a very dear friend of mine, Kalle.  She has no idea 
I'm planning this, and will likely be quite surprised to see a link 
and page bearing her name, but I hope the surprise is a pleasant
one, and brings a smile to her face.  Kalle....Kim, for all that 
you have done for me....for your friendship and your tireless, 
unflagging support of this place you helped me breathe life into, I
place your works above my own so that all may read and enjoy.

And a note to all who come later to read this page, you're in for 
a treat!  Not only is our Lady Kalle a wonderfully talented poet 
(as you will soon see), but a warm, gentle, caring spirit all
around....always quick with a word of encouragement, and always 
seeming to know just how to make things better.  Kalle, thank you 
for being....you.


*This is my first poem I feel brave enough to post...So those of 
you whom I have talked to about my writing knows this is a big step 
for me. And thanks for the encouragement. Especially you Daniel. 


There are little children in this world 
Whom with their smiles they show you 
That the world can be bright and Cheerful 
And that the outside forces are not as strong... 

There are moments in time 
If frozen 
You know in your heart they should last a lifetime 
If not in real life..they do in your heart.... 

There are mistakes that we make 
When we think no one is looking 
And that they will only hurt "us" 
But how wrong you were, and you know that now... 

There are decisions that must be made 
And you know that once they are 
Your world will never be the same 
And neither will the precious child 

And most of all there is love to give 
In silent and simple ways 
In large and grand ways 
And in the smallest ways of all 

In all, We make our mistakes 
And the mistakes we make become our future 
As well do the successes we have 
But sometimes others pay a higher price than you... 

You think you know it all 
You think you have done things the best anyone could have 
but you can not protect the ones you love most 
From the mistakes that were not theirs..but yours 

So sometimes others feel the pain 
The pain that should have been yours alone 
Made because you knew it all 
And because sometimes you can not protect the ones you love. 

*This is dedicated to a special child. My middle one. 

Friendship A friend is someone whom when asked Is there without a question.. and asks you not how long they will be needed. A friend is the love one you pick whom if you are lucky They stay with you through every obstacle life throws you way. When thinking of my dear friend I do not think of all the deeds she has done for me nor the ones I have done for her. I do not think of the favors forgotten or owed As we have not kept a "tally". I think of the laughs the tears the secrets and the private jokes. I consider my best friend my private treasure As everytime I look around I see her there asking Not how long she will be needed, Nor what I will need Just simply says "I am here". And after a long day of chasing kids handling small and large crisis I reach for the phone. I find that she did As well and left a message Simply saying "I prayed for you today". *(to my friend... you know who you are)
it brews With a clatter It falls to the floor Who knows what is was Or what it was to be for it became something bigger than planned. If you wonder off And find it laying somewhere Show it how to find it's Way to the home It should have known was there. It comes to bravery to honesty and to truth For the item to return to it's rightful home. But through it's travels it will find many friends who all clattered to the floor of life. That which will set it apart Will be the road it ultimately decides to take. The high road of ease Or the harder road of respect.
Count Them I look around and count, The blessings that are untold. As many times we can count The ones that are obvious. I look to my mother and recall with a grin All the dirty "piggies" She counted with glee. I look to my children And I see All the smiles and hugs not counted by me. I look to those I love And see all the small things I did not always see I look to my friends And within them I see all the little things they ask of me. My gifts I give and count not me As I believe with each gift, they return in threes. As each blessing of "Piggie" count, "smiles and hugs" "small things" I count them not you see. As they are treasures To my heart. And there they shall always be.
A Wish *This one is a bit different for me.. but lately my head has been in the clouds.. :-) (and was fun to write) A wish is something you make in the wind on the beach or near the river. You make it while driving down the road while sitting alone while thinking out loud Or to yourself. A look at the clouds Shows wonderful sculptures of today And promises of tomorrows With sprinkles of yesterday. A look at the heart shows sadness from mistakes joys from success and glows from promises yet to be fulfilled. A look at the soul Shows strength from within Love from above And a bright shining light of your tomorrows. And a look in the mirror Shows a person you show to all with the twinkles in the eyes that shine Of happiness that was thought loss. As a wish is made A new sculptured cloud appears With a promise of tomorrow Shaped like the flowers given freely by an admirer. As the simple wish was for wild flowers planted by the wind and given with friendship on a whim. And by some wonderous luck The clouds agreed that such a wish be granted.
The Spirit of One As you walk through this life you learn That there is only One you need to please. You can strive to please others, And that is well and good. However in the end, It is the one, whom is most important. As the one lives with you daily, Acknowledges you, Abides by your actions And quietly counsels you. In the end it is the Spirit Of the one that must be pleased. As you can tell others that you do this or that for them However it is in the end what you do for your soul, "the spirit of the one" that sets you apart in thine own heart and mind. As you alone live with the decisions you make. You know your own faults, Your own accomplishments, Your own disappointments, And your own Joy.
Inventory of the Heart To see the sparkle in your eyes even if only in a picture, Warms my heart to it's core. To hear the laughter In your voice, makes my heart sing and race at the sound of it. To feel your love in my heart Even through the distance that seperates us, It's more than we can handle at times. But in the dark hours of the night, When I sit alone in my world, I search my heart And I find you there.
My Child As I carry you in my womb, I think of all that I have to give. Will I be strong enough when needed? will I give you as You so deserve? I think of all the children, The ones wanted and the ones forgotten. On this day, as I lay here with my belly swollen from you, I know that you will forever be my treasure. As with love I conceived you, With love I have carried you, With love I will give birth to you, And with love I will always be with you. The love you have blossomed in my heart, Surpasses that felt for others, or myself. As starting tomorrow with your birth, I will be your devoted mother. ****I wrote this part, above on October 18, 1984, My son was born the next day**** As I look at the joy you have given me, I think not what my life would have been without you, As without you it would be nothing. Being your mom has made me whole. I had no directions when you arrived, With your love in your eyes you taught me what I needed to know. As I have learned much by your hand, About love, compassion and strength. You will always be my little man.
For you In your dreams As you dream tonite Know that I am with you I am the touch you feel on your hand When it hangs by your side. I am the wind you feel on your cheek As that is where I kissed you I am the caress you feel on your arm As that is where I held you I am the whispers you hear When all is still and quiet As I am with you Missing you As you miss me. With each breath I inhale, I look for you. With each breath I exhale I look for you Only to discover I need not look far As you are holding my hand.
Road Less Travelled With time we find the chances we thought would never be ours. We find the road less traveled was always ours to take, However look at the potholes of the unkept trek, As a heart never tended, wilts without care. So we travel, picking up the roots of what once was To find the roots of all that can be. Only to see that one alone can not make a journey, As it likely will take the two. So we look about us, And see the remnants Of the love left shattered at our feet, Did we leave this mess for another? Then we walk on, What have we here? Sunshine from the setting of the sun, Or light from the sunrise of the break of day? As we follow the trail, We see many whom have come before, And for reasons unknown, Dare not to travel more. And then we see the reason, The reason for what has become, The most important journey of this lifetime, Do we dare ask for more? As we are now unable to resist, Is there more? Or have the treasures seen to this point, All the trail holds?
A Beautiful day full of the Small Things Many times in life we see about us all the things that are apparent. We see daily the fruits of our labor, As we take care of our daily tasks as we see them. However, many times we dare not see the things that are there. Do you see the sunrise over the ocean, or in the horizon? Do you see the flowers in bloom on the side of the road? Do you see the the sunset in the early evening as it lights the skies? Do you smell the rain, as it falls on a hot summer day? Do you smell the scent to freshly cut grass? Do you smell the honeysuckle as it blooms in the summer? These are but few things that money and effort can not buy. Just a glimpse of the daily life around you that goes on Without a concern of your day, whether it is good or bad. As I sit in my favortie spot at the river, I can not help but see the beauty of the day With the knowledge that life goes on with a beat all it's on. So blessed are the small things we forget to see In our hurry to amass the larger ones we can easily see. Let us not forget that as large as our day is, This and more is around us. And no matter how small we may feel in our world, We are important in the life of another.
Thoughts of a good day bring a smile to my face, Thoughts of a sad day inevitably brings a deep sigh to my heart, and at times a tear to my eye. In between there are many thoughts that just are. They are not bad, nor good they have no life of their own, They have no personality as well. When thinking of how I was wronged years ago by another, I simply Sigh.. as to think otherwise gives this thought power to destroy who I am. When thinking of the joy I share with my children over the years, I smile a happy smile.. knowing for a second all the world was grand for my children. And I pray they will see the same when they look back at the thougths as well. When I think of things that happened in my life.. that were not pretty, I delve into the negative stream.. and pull out something positive.. no matter how small. When I think of you in my life.. I dare to smile.. and wonder...What is next..And are we ready? And know that no matter the obstacle my heart is true. When I think of people around me whom I have grown to know as friends and see the struggles their daily life brings, I take a deep breath, extend my hand.. and say together we shall band.. and work this out within ourselves. But most of all when I spend my time thinking of things that fleet through my mind, I think of the positive forces my life does now bring... And thank my guardian angel... for sitting on my shoulder all these years.
The Sun, The ocean, The Beach As we walk along the beach, It is the sun that greets us with the beauty before us, As without the light of the sun to guide our way, Would we see the beauty of the ocean? As you walk on the beach, You can not help but see the power of the ocean, As it has swept away many a shell, And many a thought of worry. So as you look over the ocean, And the sand between your toes, You see the horizon in the distance, With water as far as it goes. If only you could touch the spot where the two meet. To see the vivid seperation of the sky And the ocean, Is to know that there are infinite possibilities for all troubles. As with each incoming wave, Another washes out. To leave a clean slate behind Where there was a footprint.
Conflicting Emotions Emotions pull to the surface When you thought they were safe and hidden. Where did they come from, How did they get here? With them comes remembered pains And the heartbreaks the pains bring. When will they end their hold When the soul has no more to bare? One by one they greet you Telling you that they are there. One by one you deal With pain you thought had been beared. As this time it feels different Could this be the time for real? When the nasty heartbreak you felt Can no longer hurt you still? If with time you gain perspective, And with perspective you gain Knowledge, Then could it be that with knowledge you gain Forgiveness? Does this mean you finally gain the grace to forgive? As to forgive yourself for your follies, So easier said than done, would mean they can no longer hurt you When the dragging out is done.
*A tribute to four very loved elderly family members... and my respect to them for the battle they now fight. As the road winds...there is an end. An end to the joy, The laughter, And the beginning of tears. We who stand behind and watch the travel, Cry heartbroken tears at what has become. To see the eagle who has flown on his own for years, Now Rest in his nest, saddened...as he can no longer soar. To see the mate, whom has been loyal, The wind beneath his wings, Sit and have no longer the ability to be that wind. Places ones heart on broken shards of glass. To see the gazelle That could run with the best..and outdo them all, Now sit in a home, and not know his name, But he knows he is no longer home. To see the the Clown, The one whom always gave you laughter, Taught you the true meaning of pride, Be a broken man...goes without words. As I sit at my mark on the winding road, The road of life, I see the value of the dear souls that are fighting their final battle, And I know, they know my heart. As without each of them, I would not be who I am. So the thought is this... If you strive to be who you are everyday, And honor those you love daily by your words and actions, You will be blessed as I have been...by seeing the joy in the eyes of the Eagle, The Wind, The Gazelle and the Clown...as they are proud of what I have become. The Eagle...My beloved Grandfather The Wind...My beloved Grandmother The Gazelle...My dear Uncle...He fights his battles of WWII daily in his mind. The Clown....My dear Uncle...He sits all alone now.
*A very Proud tribute to a very dear man The Eagle He has flown like an eagle through our lives, He has shown the child how to dream, How to work, How to think, How to worship, How to laugh, How to go on after each obstacle. In return, He has been shown our love, Our respect, Our constant vigilance, Our unwavering support, Our humor, Our time, We have given him what he craves for, his family. When we see his current resting, We come to him, As he used to come to us. When we watch his eyes mist over, We wipe the tears, as he wiped ours. When we see him lose faith, We show him the faith we have in him. When he believes he has no value, We show by our actions the priceless value he holds in our heart. Not once in his flight, as our Eagle, Has he lost his faith in the children he holds so dear. He would look at me as a child, And smile at my antics. As a young adult, He would counsel me on what was right. As a mother, He has reassured me as I faltered. As his granddaughter, He has shown me the priceless value of love.
Just Simply a Woman To the Children I hold dear, I am the woman whom has the final answer, The answer to the questions that are important. Do you have any money? What is for dinner? Can we go ...here..or there...? And the answers, come with a dose of maternal Love. (With each I love you's treasured) To the Mother I hold Dear, I have been the source of much turmoil, and love. As a young lady I challenged her rules, like no other. As a young mother, I slowly learned her value. As I have matured, I treasure her counsel, support and love. As a sister, I have been blessed by three. The older one showing me constantly the values we hold dear. Our private humor and love of Elvis. Our private pains, no other knows as well. Our unwavering love we both know well. As we wear our love as an armor...daring anyone to doubt us... As we are united. As a partner, I have found and lost love. I have seen the joy in the eyes of another, and seen it fade. I still dare to test my fates. As now I stand ready to try again, with my Dear One I hold to my heart. Will the happiness so well eluded, be mine found? It is my undying hope. As a friend, I have given my all to those I hold to my private realm. As without their unwavering love and support, I would have been lost. As with each day I reach for my friend, and make a call, with a smile and a joke. Or a dropped line to another, that without their unending support, I would have been lost several times over. As without the friendship of the few held dear, life would be less than grand. I am a woman, I have my faults, But I give my all. I have given of my heart, even against all odds. I have loved, and been loved. I love, and am still loved. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a partner, and a friend. I am simply a woman.
Building Hopes and Dreams I once sat on a bench and thought what will I become? I had lost my present, and have yet to find my direction. Then I stumbled, and thought I had fallen, Only to learn I had been caught in the arms of a friend. A friendship treasured, and cherished over many years, Nurtured with love, and inconsistantly maintained, However once seen he was needed, He did not let me down. Shown to me was the power of love. Shown to me was the power to forgive myself. Shown to me was the value I was to my family, and those that loved me. Most, Shown to me was my future, a nudge along the way. A future, with options and decisions to be made. A future, with a healthy dose of doubts, but with bravery to try. A future, now with the knowledge, that I was worthy. A future, Now with a friend by my side, and the knowledge of the family and friends that never left. So then began the journey of a renewed life. The joy of love, The joy of motherhood, The joy of everyday trivial matters, that now mattered. The building of your future, Begins with one step forward at a time. Amazing how... once the steps start, The path reaches up to meet you. And the dreams become bigger. *This is written for many reasons on this day. It is written to share an experience. As it is my hope.. that by sharing it... it will help just one other..then I would have succeeded. :-) And in honor of my dear friend Jeff who caught me when I fell. A friend of over 20 years, whom never left my side.. and still proudly walks along side of me. As I walk along side of him.
Anew Funny thing about a dream, You dream this dream over and over again, Then the moment has arrived, And you are faced with "The moment" your dream comes true. As you see it unfold in real life, You think to yourself, Is this how I imagined it? No, It is more. You say all the things you have said already, But this time it is different, This time in front of you , There is a smile, a laugh and a tear. Then you awaken in the morn, Thinking of the wonderful dream, you had dreamed true. Only to see it is real. And your life has begun anew.
A Child of my heart As I walk through the mountain of heartache I look at this child and know my love My love goes deep and is constant. Never has a minute gone by That I have not loved this child. As he walks through his personal trials I see his pain. As he thinks through his options, I see his struggle. As he embraces his adulthood, I see his efforts. As he challenges us that love him, I see his love in return, Peeking under all the challenge. A child that not only needs my love, he needs my understanding he needs my constant support, And he needs my compassion. What he does not see, Is that he has always had this. He just has not yet realized it.
A Breath of fresh air... As I look out on the ocean and see the waves, They float in and out as the time passes by, With shells, seaweed, and critters.... If the waves could speak What a tale they would tell. The waves would tell of those that left their sorrows there, Or danced with glee in their glory. Or would they tell of the child that chased the birds on the shore? Or the children that played on it's edge? Of the older couple that walked the edge and collected their shells, And holding hands? The ocean sweeps in with magic, And sweeps out with mystery. The beauty of the waves is only surpassed By the beauty of the ocean itself, at sunset. As I look out, I Breathe in the love in my heart, As I watch "my love" frolick in the ocean, And I search the ocean for shells to take with me, In constant memory of the magic we share together.
In a moment a life can change Do you search out this moment? Or wait for it to come to you? Do you plan this moment? Or allow it to plan you? Just for a moment, You love. Just for a moment, You say good bye. Just for a moment, You find your heart. Just for a moment, You make the decisions of a lifetime. In the moment of love, You find your heart beating for the one that holds it, As he holds it in his hands... you feel the power of his heart beating in return. And you know that this moment changed your life. As the power to love you always knew you had.. has met the power of another... In this moment. As this moment, could never be planned. We can fool ourselves and say, I worked for this and earned it.. But we all know these moments...come rare and if at all. And when your heart finds this moment, you say good bye to what you thought was real... and hello to what is. Seize the moment...The moment of Love.
My Cardinal As I go through my day I think of happy moments as a child. The touch of the rough hand in mine, When I was thirteen. I looked to him and thought..He was my hero. As he could do anything in my eyes. He showed me how to ride a sled in the snow. He helped me to build my Science project to perfection, As no one else could have. he showed me how to be patient, And to try and not wear my heart on my sleeve. He showed me in silly ways how to laugh, At the big and the small stuff. He may have been a "Step" But in my heart he will always be "The". As when I was weak, He was my strength. When I was sad, He made me laugh. When I needed to talk, He listened, with a kind ear of compassion, and would remind me to "think". The day he died, The Doves flew to heaven. With them they took a soul, full of love. On the day we buried him, The heavens rained with tears for our loss. On the day following, The sun beamed down it's joy, at the heavens gain. As he is my angel. As I see the Cardinals fly, I see his smile, I hear his laugh, And I know I am not alone, As I have my Dad smiling down at me, Sharing my happiness, My joy, And my everyday obstacles. *He may have been my step-father, But to my heart, He was My Dad. And is missed to this very moment of this very day... and always.
The Heart Knows Funny how we think we have the answers, All the questions seem to unfold, And become statements, Without beginnings or endings. It is a circle, The circle of love around your heart, It encases the feelings that are there, And provides a protective shell for the fragile love that resides there. With this love, You find hope, Hope that was thought lost, But now found. With the protective shell, There comes humor, As the heart now knows it is safe, And it smiles with newfound happiness. So to the heart, The soul whispers, "We are one again" And forward they march...to the tune of new love.
As I wander through my day, I find I have this cute brown shadow, I go from one room to the other, And she sits happily in the corner while I do my chores... Then moves to the next room behind me. I feed her, and she wags her tail at me, and happily eats what I provide. I love on her, and she rolls over to her back, and shows me her belly, As it needs rubbed as well. I come home from work, I am greeted with a HUGE wag of the tail.. and I would swear she is smiling at me. It thunders, and I am greeted with a "lap dog", as she is so scared of the noise. I pick up my keys, and she beats me to the door, As she loves to ride. She is my trusted brown shadow, She loves on me when I am happy, Hugs close to me when I am sad, rewards me with wet kisses just because, and comes up to me when she needs her love. She is my trusted companion, My "lady". *Lady is a spoiled rotten 45 lb "lap dog" who has barely enough common sense to get out of the rain. But for me she is my baby, as she gives me unconditional "stinky" love, and nothing quite beats the wet kisses on the face in the middle of the night when she decides she needs to go outside...LOL
Their Value Funny, How with the change of an hour Things become clear. Clear is the moment of friendship held so dear, Clear is the moment of heartache with such pain, Clear is the moment of love, So joyous, And Happy are you when the love in your heart is returned. A friend, comes in your heart, And you see him as he is. A gift from an unknown power, And accepted without question. Then in a moment, you see his value. A smile when you least expect it Laughter of silly things you never would expect to be funny, A hug when you find yourself in need as well. A shoulder that is sturdy and strong kind words that mean the world when uttered. And confidence of knowing that the friendship is true. As I walk through my life, with newfound happiness, I see around me friends that care, I see them in all directions, and I know I am blessed. As I have never been before. As each friendship is special in it's own way, But few are as rare as you.
"Lifted" As I look out on the water, I see the drops of rain fall around me, Safe I am on my place in the pavillion, Thinking of things long past and unresolved. Then upon the edge of my haven I see a bird, Working it's way to me from the edge of the area.. Slowly it makes it's way around the edges, On the bench...to the floor... to the railing... Then back to the next bench. Slowly I weed through issues that weigh on my mind, Then I look over and the bird has made it to the ledge next to my perch. I mentally baggage the burden on my mind.. Hand it to my friend, And away the burden goes... with the wind. With a relieved sigh... I return to my meditation... with a lighter burden and a clearer mind.
Poetry Tag - a Lesson *LOL... I was exploring on aol.. and found myself playing poetry tag... The title.. was given to me by someone in a chat room.. I liked the results.. thought I would post them...::they kept me on my toes...:: topic: the burn that follows the crash In the crash we look out and see... the wreckage that was our life.. we see the smoke.. and the fire and wonder what started the crumbling fire we see now was it the fighting... the arguing... the damage of the onslought of words... that should have never been spoken or was it the lack of care given to something that was once beautiful and now sits in embers... burning.. as it crashed in the ground... untended... uncared.. unfelt.. was the crash.. As the love that once was left... to not see the show.. and only now sees the smoke of the flames that were.. Burning .. on fire for what should have been.. and now never will be.. just the flame remains...
Four Shells On a road well traveled, I went to pick up my love. And found an excitement beyond words. We ambled down the road I travel often, Making stops for him to view the beauty of the land. To see the ocean come to the shore. The shells were picked up with care, each their value held dear, And there perfection unsurpassed. The first shell was picked up for "Trust" As with each waking moment, I will show my trust to my love. The second shell was picked up for "Patience" As with each new day of discovery, I will pledge my patience for our changing world. The third shell was picked up for "Compassion" As with each passing day, I will gladly show the compassion I feel in my heart. The fourth shell was picked up for "Love" As the love I have found in the eyes of "My love" Surpasses all I ever expected. With a sense of purpose, I stride forward in our life, With four very important tokens of our love. Held treasured and close to my heart.
A Thought....at a passing moment She is like the wind, She moves with grace, with a luxury of confidence unsurpassed. Her sense of purpose is without question. Through her daily life she strolls, Showing little glimpses of what she may be to you. To some she is the co-worker, Who is silly and fun. To another she is the spouse, Thoughtful, Caring... And still with pain of past battles, washing over her like June Rain Storms. To yet another, She is the trusted eldest child, Whom has held counsel with all, And confidence with few. To a dear old one, She is the apple of the old weary eyes, The weary eyes, and faint smile of an elderly grandparent. To me she is my sister, With love so deep, that she is my other mental half. When I am down.. she seems to reach out to me with a hand.. and her heart.. open. Never am I in doubt of her love for me. When I am sad... she listens, When I cry... she cries with me, When I rejoice.. she smiles a knowing smile of happiness for me Together we share memories of silly things no one else would understand... but we are blessed forever with them close to our hearts. When I reach out to her... she is reaching back. I am blessed daily by her love. *This weekend I was able to share some quality time with my dear sister. She and I are seperated by only 19 months.. and have always been very close.. We laughed, cried.. and giggled our way through the weekend.. and I feel blessed for each passing moment I have with this dear friend..My Sister...
Mental Housekeeping With deep thought I find the solace of my soul As with the river, and it's noises I find peace beyond words. With the walk along the shores, I throw rocks in the stream Each with their own name Their own tale. With each thrown stone, I throw away a thought that no longer belongs, It is quite simple, Don't we all keep house?
How to say thanks? Where do you start? To thank the one that shows you your heart, Do you start with the simple words, The words that are not enough? Do you start with a smile, A kiss on the cheek, A grin when least expected, Or a simple "I Love You"? Or do you simply, When the opportunity comes, Thank this dear soul In the only way you know how? So in the morning, When I find him there, I look over and simply say, "Thanks".
something of a thought.... funny how the day breaks, the heart awakes, Your lover's arms unfold, You walk into them, And once again.. You are whole.
A Dark Moment There are few moments in time I would freeze in order not to relive it.. The one moment to my mind is blazed there forever, It is not that I did not love, As I did. It is not that I did not care, As I did. He walked into my life, Nae on 17 years ago, With a walk, a talk, and a smile. There was nothing I could not imagine possible. With my heart.. I gave my love. With my heart full of love, I gave my soul, I gave of myself. What was I to recall of this whirlwind love? I was for my life to the very moment of this day to recall the love of the moment. I would always recall the gift he left me. As to this moment he is the child of my heart. I will recall the day he left me. He left me with the knowledge of the life we started, He tipped his hat, Kissed me, Turned away, And walked away. My darkest moment.
if you walk.... If you walk with the lord, You walk in peace. If you walk alone, You walk in silence. If you walk in a crowd, You walk with noise. But if you walk with love, You walk as one.
A Journey As I ready my bags, I feel my heart go heavy, With sadness and sorrow. I pack the things needed for any trip, It could have been a trip to the mountains, Or even one to the shore. But unfortunately this is not, What it could be. It is simply what it is. I pack for a journey of the heart. To be with an old dear soul whom needs me, Whom if he was able to do so, would send me on my way. "You have a life to live young lady" Would be his comment. Now I travel, To sit in a hospital, To watch the monitors, And to cry. As he speaks no more, He moves no more, He will no longer walk with a defined gait. He will no longer share the stories of his life, With a shy smile. As I travel with my heart heavy as lead. I travel with the knowledge of my friends understanding, Of my family around me, and of us being one. As I make a jouney of the heart.
the laughter of a child The laughter of a child is unique, As with the laughter comes the promise of a life never before imagined, We think we know the answers to life Then we hold this bundle in our arms for the first time We see the eyes for the first time We count the fingers for the first time, We look at the toes so perfect, and begging to be "piggies". At that moment, We know why we were born, And we know why we live, As with this child.. We have found a new life Of Joy, sorrow, happiness, frustration... and adoration. For the love of a child.. We will be a fool.. That is the parent's creed... For with each child, We will laugh, We will Cry, We will be disappointed, We will see sorrow, But we will find the greatest Joy ever known, With a tiny hug.. and a smile... a giggle.. a laugh. We know there is no greater gift... than that of a child. *I wrote this for the OG... Congrats my dear friend.. and may you find the joy of such unconditional love of a child. Congratualations new papa...
A thought, A moment, It passed In a moment, I held the hand of an elderly uncle in mine. I thought of the wonderous times I spent with him when a child. I thought of the pranks we pulled, That made him laugh, I thought of the little smiles, That were ours, because we were his special nieces and nephews. He taught me how to work in a field, How to crop tobacco, Pick cotton, and how to laugh at life. He told me of his time in WWII, Of his desire to live, And of his being drafted on his birthday, And returning to his home on Thanksgiving. Then on a Friday night, He could talk no more, But with eyes full of tears, And a nod of understanding, I shared my smiles with him. I told him how much I loved him, How much his love meant to me. I told him of the time we tied the string to the cat's tail, And watched it run like fire across the mule lot. Of the escapades of his favorite bar of soap, That mysteriously appeared in strange places. And of all the times I knew he cried when we left, But he never showed us, but we knew. I shared with him the blessings he gave me without knowing, And we cried. In a moment he passed, He left our world, And with his angels, Went to one where he can smile again, Laugh again, And be with others who went before him. *In loving memory of my dear Uncle, A combat veteran of WWII, whom returned from the war many years ago, half a person. He spent his entire life on a farm, farming. Loving us 100+ nieces and nephews as if we were all his very own, and never once in his life asking for anything from any of us in return. We buried this sweet man today. And he will always be in my mind and heart.
A Smile We walk along life's path, Searching faces as we travel. We see this frown, We see this grimace, We see the tears shed, And the tears brimming to be shed. Then an amazing thing happens, We look into the eyes of another, There is seen a sparkle, A bit of light, And what is it we see, A smile, a laugh, with a crooked look, Yes indeed, we have found a smile.
Rubble of my heart May you open your eyes to see The life I give you with my heart If I live to be a hundred, may you always bask in my love In my eyes you are my world Your love is my love Your heart is my heart Our lives are forever joined. As I chisel down the walls that encase my heart i see the crumbled mess of brick Do I dare to chisel more? Should I simply take the risk? Where my heart was covered with shade, From the walls that were so strong, My heart now stands blinded, By a light never before seen. As I make rubble out of the walls, I search the eyes of my love, And see the love that does shine, On a heart that was forever dark.
In a Perfect World In a perfect world, We would enjoy all the happy times of our children, And no harm or sadness would come their way. In a perfect world, The sun would shine, The clouds would disappear, And the rain would vanish. In a perfect world, Friends are friends for life, You would turn and always fine a true one by your side. In a perfect world, Your heart would find one, And never need search for another. In a perfect world, Love would be yours forever, And life would be grand for eternity. In my world, I have sadness, and sorrow But I have found much love. I have friends who are there for me, And others who do their best to always find their way there when needed. I have found and lost love more than I care to remember. But when I begin my day, I look into the eyes of the one meant for my heart. When I lay my head down at night, I look into the eyes of the same one whom warms my heart. And for me... It is a perfect world.
The Woman she was....the Woman she is She walks alone more often than not She has a quiet way about her And sad brown eyes Have you seen her? "No, but I think I know her" She has seen sadness at te hands of others, At times self inflicted, At others an unwitting victim have you seen her? "I shall keep a lookout for her" With battlescars, she drank Tequila Hoping to heal the wounds, But she only made them deeper, Have you seen her? "I think she used to be around a lot" With a bold move She walked away from the dark world of the comfortably drunk She, With her head held high, Left us one day Have you seen her? "She is legendary around here. They speak of her often" With love in her heart for her children A newfound confidence for herself She chose a different life Do you think you might know her? "She has been known to come around. She now has a sense of peace about her" I hear she has a new life With new friends, A new love If yousee her, Could you tell her we are proud of her? "I think I found her, Could you look in the mirror? Are you searching for those brown eyes?"
If I walk in your path, Will you see the path I traveled? Or would you only see the traveler? Would you see the trail left behind, Or the one in front of me, Or in front of us? As I walk in your path, Will you treasure the gifts I give with my heart? Or will you accept them as your due? Will you see the smile meant for you, Or believe I smile to all in such a way? As I walk in your path, Will you know that I have rarely traveled in this manner? Will you understand how fragile my love is? How hard it was to walk this far so alone? Or will you assume it is just what has always been? As I walk in your path, I will see the value of the gift of love you bring, Reaching to you, I will show you the heart I have shown few, And with my heart on my sleeve, I will give of the love in my heart, For you, For as long as I walk in your path.
To Gaze We Gaze on the lives of our friends And with our insight we give our amends, Are we proper to be so free? To always make them think of only me? With the joining of like minds We enjoyed the fruit of combined thoughts Will this place us in a position of freedom To always say our piece without a fret? I ask you as I gaze on you Do you see the pain we can undo? We can make it work for us you see If we can gaze upon each other to be free. We alone can not make it work, It takes the power of two you see To be brave enough to Gaze on thee. With our friendship firmly recovered We will see the strength in our numbers. We will seek the refuge within As we gaze on others whom we let in. As friendship is not of what we want It is of supporting the one who has blinded The thought of the others in their sight, As I gaze to you over yonder, Do you not see the pain we squander?
A Giggle, A Smile In Giggles we scoot down the country roads barefoot, Playing in the fields we had just cropped Looking for mischief around us, And chasing the quail tracks on the road. Just two girls Playing on the dirt roads In the backward world of Southern Georgia Where the only care is the rain clouds to block our fun. So off we scamper to find mischief, Will we tie the tobacco twine in circles for hand games? Or will we chase the cats around the farm? Or better yet, Will we hide the soap from our Uncle? As we scamper around the farm, Feeding toothpaste to the chickens Chasing the cats away with pranks untold And making pig noises to the pigs, We laugh. We chase the kittens on the porch, hearing the dear uncle cluck under his voice, Knowing he will not chase them off, As he loved to see us smile. We wonder through the fields To surprise him when he is gone, Sneaking up on him to say "Boo" Just to see him Jump.. Then we see our summer come to an end, We see the love in the eyes of our Uncle And we say goodbye to the other one, and the aunt, But he will not say "goodbye", he walks to the end of the porch, Looks out to the chickens Waves us good bye with a smile, With tears in his eyes. *This is a description of two girls in the summer (Myself and my sister).. and of my dear uncle who just passed. A happy story.. of fun and love.
In your eyes I see the love you have for me, With the changes of each day on the wind I feel the rustle of your hair next to mine With the tides that roll in, I see the changes over time. I sought not your company in the beginning As I feared what the changes you dared to voice in your heartfelt words I pulled back from your love and caring words For fear I would hurt another with mine to you. Or likely more the case, I would dare to bare myself to one so devine. Now I look over the water of life I see the blowing palms in the distance I hear the river making it's way down the banks I see you walking toward me knowing that I am waiting on you, And the knowledge in your eyes, That I love you true. We know not what this path will bring us, We togehter have experienced more pain than any one person should alone But it is the strength of our determination and love That holds us on our path. As with the knowledge the other is there, We have more strength than we ever dared. I look up to you I see in your eyes The love I hold alone And is alone for you to share Looking back in mine.
May I Ask? May I ask what is the point of a peaceful evening, Without the joy of a glorious morning? What is the purpose of a sunrise, Without the sunset? What is the purpose of giving of having children If you can not give them all they need, and shield them from pain? What is the use in having money, If you can not have someone special to spend it on? Why walk through the woods by the stream, If you dare not smell the water, and see it's treasures? Why walk along the beach, If you do not do it barefoot? Why make a decision, If you are not willing to stand by it? Why live your life to the fullest If you are not willing to pay for your follies? Most of all, May I ask, At what point do you believe in tomorrow? On this day? Or the next... or the next... As a child, We all ask Why, When do we stop?
To be seen as you are, Not as others perceive you over time, and assumption. To be thought of for the things you do Not the things you don't do that others thought you should. To be loved for the person you show the world, and know you are. Not disliked for what others thought in their minds was you, an assumption made by their shortcomings. To not be judged by those whom have much to hide of their own. Simply to be seen... as you are.. when you are simply yourself... being who you know you can be. If you are my friend, That is the favor I ask of thee.
Strands of Silver Feet dangling over the edge Feeling for the substance not yet found Thinking to herself Not yet clear But looking just the same. How far down would she have to reach To find the solid ground she craves so well Needing the comfort it will provide And not yet found, But so sorely sought. With confidence She gains the strength to reach further Only to find that it was not solid ground beneath her Just a sea of clouds With neverending circles of hope. With newfound determination She ventures into the unknown Now searching for all the silver linings That others have told her is there. Will she weave a scarf of silver with all her happiness?
Her Pain, My Pain A Beauty she is With a laughter a shadow of mine With a smile that looks of her dad And eyes that are dark as mine. She faces her teens with grace With the dignity of one older than she And with poise beyond her years She endears us all to her. She is but a child In a woman's body Looking for her way With her wings yet formed She faces the trials That should not be her fight With the love in her eyes for us all Asking the questions with her eyes. I see the paths we must travel For a child who did not ask to go As the adults in her world know More than she wants to be heard. As I take her hand With a smile on my heart A tear in my eye I lead the way. As her mother I could be no more proud As her friend, I beam with joy at her strength Wondering from where it came. Knowing beyond words her pain.
My muse, of sorts I sit in my chair With my feet propped up Thinking to myself I should call it a day. Then along comes a friend Whom just being him Manages to make me smile To laugh, and cry. He is simply a muse of sorts He has claimed that space At least twice, of my resort And he smiles with a crooked grin. Little does he know That as far as friends go He is one in a million, And I am glad he is my friend.
Shoes to fit Funny thing about shoes.. They need to fit the feet in just the right way A little big.. you have blisters A little small.. Just the same. Pondering the thought of my shoes The shoes I walk in The ones all others seem comfortable judging Thinking that they can do this better, Or maybe even that. So then I take off the shoes I offer them to the one that is so sure They can wear them They assure me As they say that the job is not such a big deal But for me.. I know the truth. I watch as some try to wear the burden I carry on my own Knowing their intentions are good But also knowing the burden is one I must bear. That to say you can do something Is one thing But to actually walk in another's shoes Is not quite the same.
My Loss cloaked eyes of a stranger look back on me My pain of loss almost tangible as I reach out for my child that is no longer here My heart bleeds with indignant anger and I breathe in shards of glass that crack my lungs the pain with each intake The pain with each exhale Are much more than I can handle. I have loved in my life I have lost much more on the face of love and suffered much at the hands of love. Then a hand reaches out to me A hand of love and companionship A hand that knows the knowledge of who I am Of what I am Of where I have been And foresees where I choose to travel With him Then with a sigh.. I lean into his arms and cry Knowing that he feels my pain With me. He knows the heartache that I hold And he understands the love I have This love I have for the few brave enough to love in return The ones even that do not love back know not what they have lost and likely don't care. Then as the dawn sets on a day that is done I crawl off to sleep away my worries in a fit of dreams and nightmares. The dreams come like waterfalls looking for the bottom of what is there What they know is there The bottom of my heart.
Looking up from my perch near the river's edge I see a child in the distance Running forward, taking the steps lightly Not sure of himself And careful not to fall. I can not help but smile And think of the heart I wear so proudly shown for others As I have rarely bounded through life Choosing instead to walk slowly And carefully. With love on my sleeve I face life's trials Whether it is the arguing of siblings in a masterful argument of children Or the indignant rage of teenagers not yet old enough to see Or the glorious smile of my love shining back at me In all that I do daily I am that child walking carefully throught the grass As if it were glass to be broken if misstepped, and knows it is priceless to know love And more valuable to treasure love And in all ways, We should cherish it.
The Voice As I spoke with you on an Easter Sunday, my heart heavy with my own burden We found one another in an unlikely place And sought solace in the other. We found our way to friendship And then with daily talks We found our way to the heart of the other With our words and thoughts. With a smile And late night talks We heard the other on the line And we heard our voices for the first time. As I walked through my trials I would hear the voice in my mind Knowing I was not alone And I was comforted just by the sound of the laughter and humor I found. As we progressed, We dared to make a sound And wonder what we really found, Was it more than the laughter, and tears? As luck would have it We found the other in a run down Bus Station After a long travel. It was in that day A Journey began To find the man I love The man behind the voice, I found. In the months that have passed In this man I see the humor in his words The playfulness of his spirit And the love in his eyes. I see the man, behind the voice.
At the end of the day Will we stand proudly in front of our accomplishments? or will we cower in the corner, not wanting it known we had been there? When faced with the possibility of there not being another moment to consider the day by, Do we look to those around us with love, and know they know our heart? Or do we look to the other.. with much left unsaid? I know not where my path leads, And I know not what I shall accomplish with the life I have I however do know, That each day, I strive to take inventory at the end of the day. With each action that is taken by me I try to show the ones I love my heart And I listen to sound advice when offered, Turn my nose up to what I hear, When it is not what I want to hear. And when all else fails, I stand by the crumpled mess of my life.. And say, glumly it is mine. Or if luck shines on me this day, I look to the ones I love so dearly And show them with my unspoken words the love I feel The love that above all else is true, And they end their day knowing, with me, where they stand.
Try For Better....Don't just fix it Missing the thoughts of what could be Knowing that it will be again As in you I have faith beyond reason And in me you have a friend
The Blessing Dark are the moments that drift in our lives we have no control over them and we dare not try. It can be the loss of a loved one the feeling of aloneness in the sight of tomorrow The knowledge you are not alone.. but feel you are. The knowing that even though there is a crowd of people you stand alone. I think of the three angels I have in my life And the added angel given to my heart by another and I know I am blessed. I know I hold a dear spot in this world That as a mother But as I look out over the crowd I look for the eyes of the one I love I know they are there As they see me clearly With his smile He shows me that this too shall pass With his laughter, He shows me courage I thought I had lost. With his jokes He shows me that life is not always serious. With the love he shines on me He shows me I am worthy in his eyes. I truly am blessed.
Touched Touched by your hand My tears are removed from my face And placed on your finger tips The pain so evident in my eyes And the concern in yours Shining back to me Such love there is in any heart of a parent And the need to protect the children And the need to sacrifice ourselves So many times we reach to do our best And when we bring our arms back They are empty, without hope or resolution As time moves forward As it moves with the realization That we can not protect the little ones With daily blessings of hope We march forward, always doing our best And just simply wondering if it is enough When, oh when will the smile be back The sparkle return to her eyes And her world be carefree again *Written for my beautiful Daughters. Both of whom have suffered much from the divorce(which took place 11 years ago)...And both of whom I am very proud of. As with their poise and grace..they bravely face each tomorrow with such hope and positive attitude.
Reaching out I see your hand Reaching to me.. Knowing in my heart The gifts I reap from you are filling it to it's brim Letting the love flow over my soul And filling my entire being with the love you show I then reach back to you Trying to match you with each move you make Knowing that the deeds of my love in no way show the love in my heart for you And thinking to myself, How, When, Why Not knowing how we got this far But knowing there is nowhere else I want to be Not knowing when it happened But pleased beyond words that it has Not knowing why it happened But knowing with all my life the question is no longer important. It simply Is.
Random thoughts on ex-spouses Anger seeps from my pores You stand on your throne Behind your glass Throwing stones of indignation Thinking you are supreme and all others are beneath your ideas or are those ideals? Whatever your ego chooses to call them these days. I often wonder where you would stand in comparison If you too were judged as you judge I Or would you even notice all the broken glass From the stones you threw at the glass walls in front of you?
His Choice The eagle soars to meet the sky And my heart lurches at the thought Watching it fly Will it be a steady flight one filled with love With many dreams to fulfill and much hope Or maybe it will be one paved with hard lessons Lessons learned from ignorance and stubbornness And paved with many tears of heartache That I suppose is the eagle's choice Will he soar high reaching for his dreams Or will he falter, blaming the gods for not giving him flight? I suppose when looking at the choices he could make One would much prefer to fly high above all else But if you are a teenager full of bitter pride, you will likely falter Standing alone in the middle of the room His red hair shining from the light Seeing the tears he sheds I simply shed my own as well.
A Look Ahead We often look ahead Wish we had a crystal ball Where we could see the plans That are there for us all. Will a missed opportunity turn into something more special Or will our folly take us down a road we have yet to travel Will we see the pure of heart for what they are And stray far from those, that are not so fair As we walk forward with our baggage May we always be in constant reminder Of the feelings in our heart And not lose sight of our own trek on this winding trail So while I travel down the road for me I think often of the things I wish for me With my head held proudly for all to see I walk forward with glee. Prepared as always for what I might find But desiring to live my life abound As I would rather pass with the knowledge of my life A life spent with love, for those around.
had to be the one I had to be the one.. and sit here to wonder Who will post 1001? As I surf through the site I see familiar grounds And familiar names as well I wonder where we will go from here But most of all.. I look at these walls Covered with the words of talented friends And I know without a doubt I am proud of the company I keep *::smiles:: I just wanted to be the 1000 post on the site..
Standing in the Debris Pain to the core of me Pain I can no longer ease I see the anger in your stance I look into your eyes, and I see the exact likeness in you Are you still my child? I look to the actions you hold so dear The rebellious nature of your soul You think you know where you are going But you know not where the road is The anger is touchable in the crackling air around you. You see not the destruction in the path you travel You see only the course you wish to take Not the heartbreak you leave in your wake The road you take to independence littered with those you trampled on to get your own personal success. In the end will you see the love That still burns eternal No matter the words said in anger The pain they brought to the one spoken of In my heart I stand ever present as your mom The one who will always love you
The feeling The moving of the forces within my heart Stirs my passions with thoughts of us I reach in the night And find you not there Knowing you would be if you could And knowing in our hearts, we are one I ache to hold you close to me To see the look in your face when you smile The twinkle in your eyes full of mischief And the amazing presence of your love when you enter a room I am in. All of this I carry with me I carry it with me no matter where I go I carry this cherished feeling of your love in my heart It occupies the depth of my soul And we are one With the other, in our dreams.
What do I see? A look A touch A feeling It is all there In your eyes In your actions In your words I see it there You hesitate I watch, You move I follow. I see you there I wonder to myself Is it the shadow of you? Or is it the reflection of me? As we are one. We are the mirror of the others soul.
As Luck would have it I was leaving as you arrived I was running and you only walked I was gone, then you missed me I loved you first, and you did not at all I never loved you, and you loved me true. As Luck would have it I would have children, "Just like me" I would wash the car, then it would rain. I would pack a lunch, And they would order pizza I would plan to go out, you planned to stay in I wanted to stay in, you wanted to go out I wanted to stay, and you chose to leave. As Luck would have it You would screw up, i would stand by you I Stood by you, and you still left. You left in shame, I survived the pain. Once the pain left, bitterness set in Once the bitterness left, Trust failed me Once trust failed me, I found myself alone. As luck would have it I sat alone for years, then you came along You made me smile, where there was a frown You shined light, where there was darkness You filled my heart, where there was emptiness You loved me, when I could not love When I discovered I could love, You loved me still As Luck would have it... I then found trust
It was me When I blundered my way through adolescence Made the mistakes of twleve kids And left my heart behind with someone Who thought it was a punching bag It was me That walked down the aisle Thinking not of herself Thinking of others And a special someone It was me Who gave birth to three children Held them to my breast Rocked them to sleep And kissed dirty toes It was me Who I saw in the mirror After a rough night of drinking Wishing I was someone Anyone, but me. It was me Who saw a chance to be me Took it finally Not knowing where it would go But knowing it was my road. It Is I Who stands proudly in my life Beside my children of such beauty Beside my principles which I have fought so hard for With the love in my heart, for us all It Is I With love to you I show you in my deeds The love I hold so dear And cherish just for the years It is Me....
The Blossom Walking along my well traveled path I see flowers where there were weeds I see sunlight where there was darkness I see blooms, where there were buds. I reach to touch the bloom on the flower The blooms are beautiful, and so well tended Will they discolor with tenderness? A touch of the bloom Gives the feel of satin As it caresses my skin I feel it's attraction. As I look deep in the bloom With each petal I see love A bit of kindness, Trust and much more. Seeing the beauty of the whole And knowing what I now know I leave the bloom to blossom And move on down my road. As with time the bloom will wilt Tire of it's beauty It will die off, But what a life it will show To all that take the care to share the beauty of the blossom.
My Song A touch A smile This is all it takes A laugh A joke This my heart doth make I moment of your time A glimpse of your heart This is what my heart awaits With each passing moment My hearts sings a song As you have made my heart hum.
A heart encased in glass This is what I have had for years With due care, The glass was cleaned daily Many could see the glare. Then with time I discovered that windows opened And with care and love, I allowed others into my little world My heart so well tended. As my life would evolve I would see those I trusted Trample over what I gave With cherished glee. A heart trusted to a friend or love. As time marched on my heart stayed strong Despite scarring from the battered wear I found a like heart In need of care. Together we piece together The cherished pieces of our hearts As we gave away pieces to those we cared about We received pieces from those that cared about us And now, we have a journey to make. With two battered hearts, and much love.
Ode to the three.... Sitting on the outside Looking into the muddled mess Thinking to myself Where did it begin? As Friends we became three Close and pure of purpose Then two became closer And the three rejoiced. Now we sit in the rubbled mess A mess one brought on us three Trying to make us see It is we. So sad the falling of such kind hearts Hearts full of promise And much more, Now sit hurt to the core. So one marches off Highhanded and full of knowing she is right Not caring the trampled mess She leaves in the muddled path she walked. When did one become more important And friendship slip And hearts were broken With the dust that has settled. In sadness the three is now two, And one day the two will go to one In that day, One will stand alone, to keep the light on.
I thought A word A prayer. That is all I have to offer. An act of kindness A feeling to share That is what I want to be to you. A simple friend
Silence is golden or so they say and who is they anyway? With a look this way I saw you looking Should I give you a sign Or should I stand wooden? Silence in a hallway We are told is the way. Then passing you in the hallway I saw your smile Thinking to myself Of friends around. But what do you think of the rain in May? Shall we sit by a river and watch as they stray? Then sitting on the bench I found the flowers of May, There quiet beauty Just waiting for all to meet. The birds that flew away, Are they the silent ones anyway? Then with a rising from the bench I did see the beauty of the flight A flight of quiet solitude Of seagulls just flying around. With a walk through the woods one day I found a fellow soul mate along the way. Then I went into the woods Seeing my love standing by a Stream Not realizing his heart was so pure I almost lost him, without a word. In the middle of a fray I found we had lost our way. As we stood there with our heads held high We thought we knew of all but our pride However it must fall for us to see The you, that you do see in me. So now I wait for the day That we shall return to May. With love on my sleeve And my hands filled with joy I walk to the flowers I so adore Awaiting the day they bloom for my love.
There was a day when I was young When in my eyes All questions had easy and clear answers And the answers were all I wanted to hear Plans all turned my way And if I wished it, then it was there for me to see. Or so I thought. As I was a teen Invincible thinking only of myself And never thinking of another As it was my way the creed of the teen Then there came a day When I was a teen no more When life stared me down And even dared to laugh at me And to chide me for my foolish ways To see in the face of your efforts Now that you raise your own teen A mirror image of your own foolishness Is something as a parent We shall always know will come As there was a day Thinking to myself that in so many years from now I will sit in my rocker And listen to my teen Tell me just the same "Mom, There was a day" But this time, he will see his own foolishness As I have seen mine.
As One Rain washes over my soul As I watch you walk in the distance I see your walk Knowing I would know you from and distance. I hear you talk to others along the way hear your laughter the tone of your voice Then I see your smile. My heart races I see you walk towards me I see the smile touch your eyes And I now know this smile is meant for me. The joy in my heart knws no boundaries My mind races with thoughts of us Of you alone in my heart And of the knowledge we are one.
Mom's special prayer A deep sigh inhabits my being As I search my heart for what I know is there Inside this heart is the compassion to understand To forgive. I see the damage done by another To my dear son Seeing his pain etched on his face I know the pain As with each gash placed I tended the wounds And saw the scars take their place I look out Seeing the pain cover his actions And have to believe That with time, This too shall pass. As we make a journey of self discovery To a a place that may hold the answers I say a prayer of the devoted mother That just once, may he have a break.
A heart wishes another one the best.... an aching in my heart shows it still beats it still has a pulse and it still nourishes my body a look in the mirror shows I still exist on this planet as people see me even I can see the image of myself the pain drifts through my body.. pain I had never thougth possible as once this is over will I be myself? I know I am a pale comparison of me I am a mom I am a lover I am a sibling with the pain of loss held so dear so new I realize what is important. So with each countdown day I take the time to hug him to my heart To talk with him while he is here And to commit his very essence to my memory
The meaning of friend.... As I walk along the road of friendship I see those I hold dear to my heart As they falter.. and plug on.. moving forward. We each falter in our own way Each fall short of who we can be When we can be that perosn we choose. As I look to you my friend I think of all the experiences we share And know, you know, I am here I wait patiently for you to try your wings To fly again in the sky As the eagle you soar. Until that day As your friend I am here. After that day While you venture forward, I am still here. As you see During the experiences that make our life special and unique True friends never really leave your side.
What have we here Past the smiles The giggles The tears The heartache The thoughts of kindness The ones not so kind The fellowship of friendship The frustration of failure The joy of success to the core we find what makes us tick What makes us whole it is that we have given life to another. That is our soul.
I search your eyes I see the pain you think you hide I see the love you show so clear I see the frustration you try to conceal I see the understanding you show me daily I see the compassion, that shows your soul I see the hope your heart has stored in Us. May we always see the mirror of the other in the reflections of our eyes.
Perception play out in my mind Are things the way they should be Are they how they want to be How they could be Or are they simply what they are? Perception plays with your mind People see you And say they understand your plight know how you feel. What is it they perceive? With time we all cross our own bridges May I say the silent prayer That we cross with our head held high And with the understanding things are what they are.
Poised I move forward knowing not what compels me I look for inspiration in the words of those that I love And the ones that love me. Sighing I look forward at my challenge To be the best person I can be And yet not knowing where to go from here. Sighing, I dig in my toes Not daring to allow myself to lose more footing And knowing that I must be strong, beyond words. With determination set in place With hope sending air to my wings I brace myself for the flight
The journey of a Soul Reaching out to touch To feel To love To remember... Souls aching To touch the part of ourself We dare not share Or touch ourselves We wait... There will be a day When the heart finds another like heart When the soul finds another like soul And with the whispers of the wind They find the joy that is their to share.
Entwined in Gold As time inches it's way through our lives We find ourselves intwined in the other It is almost like magic Like two pieces of cloth sewn together with gold twine I look to you and see your smile I see the look on your face I embrace your laughter Close and dear to my heart. May we always be so close to the other May we always have the strength of gold to bind us together May we always love the other as we do today And may our laughter bring happiness to our everyday
Forever....I Shall Remember You remain as always In a moment of time not to be forgotten Your eyes sparkling with mischief Your smile lighting up the room Your presence in front of me as never before As always I look back and see the moment Frozen in time The moment you stood in front of me For the very first time. The moment that I knew I loved you
I Waited You opened my eyes to the world around me You showed me the paths we could take together Then you left me there to wait I watched the world zoom by with my new eyes I felt heartache and joy with my new self But still I waited.. I drifted through my everyday life Pretending all things were mine to have While I longed for you...and waited I watched the children become young adults I charged forward with plans of the future Without you.... and I waited Then I looked about me I saw that life had moved on Without me....while I waited. So slowly, I moved forward Seeking a world I never explored And slowly moving away from the point...where I waited As luck would have it I moved forward Away from the feeling of needing to wait. I found hope and joy beyond words In my new life of newfound freedom and with the grace of newfound knowledge, I no longer wait. As luck would have it With my newfound wings.. I soared Only to look back and see... you had returned.. and I was no longer there.
To Live I longed for the day when a smile could be just that A smile, and it touched your eyes without fail. When a kiss could be felt to the toes of my being And be simply a wonder to feel. When a hug makes you shiver As only a true hug can do. When a tear was wiped from your eyes By the hands of someone who truly cares When I could look into another's eyes with love And see love in return. When I could search the eyes of a friend And see the pure generosity of spirit shining back. Then it would have been to live To have lived each moment in purity of love and friendship Mixed with a bit of devotion.
One of the best days I can remember Begins with the sound of your voice The look of your eyes looking at me The working together to meet common goals To prepare meals, side by side To stroll along the river hand in hand To look out over the water.. enjoying the life of the river To return, tired, and exhausted from our individual endeavors, But still have the strength to look to the other Offer a kind word, and a hug. Then with the day to an end To look in the eyes of the one you love And know that the look in his eyes, is meant for you
A glimpse at others along the walk of life is fascinating at best... We walk along..choosing the path in front of us We choose based on the choices we see in front of us And if we are honest with ourselves We choose the road of our heart Then as we stroll through our hardships The stumbling blocks placed by our blind love And abiding friendship and the path our heart takes us down There are times this path is full of hardship Of pain Of anger But with each step we learn, and we grow. As we venture further down the walk of life There are others that are handed gifts beyond words In their hands these gifts are placed They pay not for the gift.. The gift given Not paid by experience Not paid by love.. or hard work Falls in the hand of an ungrateful soul, not seeing the value of that given Looking over from my road of self inflicted knowledge Hard earned from my walk over many a bumpy road I hold true to myself the value of the lessons learned And would rather travel down this road of knowledge.. Than be gifted by a gift not earned. *A poem born out of a good talk with a new friend.
Reflections I stand out on the Beach Watching the Ocean's waves crash to shore The night sky is full of stars The water is cold to the toes I seek out, Looking out to the pier watching the waves crash on the piles Watching the night sky and it's full moon Deep in thought I see the waves But hear the sound no longer I stand With my mind lifting it's thoughts And placing them one by one in the sky I feel the wind blow my hair And I stand With the weight of grief lifting slowly from my shoulders with perspective slowly easing back in place I stand with the waves washing over my feet. With the feeling of being refreshed With my sorrows examined for what they really are The disappointment in myself as a mom Suffering the missing of a son The ocean spray Slowly brings me back to where I am I see the beauty of the night And I taste the salt on my lips With peace back in my soul I look to my feet and see they are soaked As where I stood no longer has just beach My sorrows have left with the ocean's waves Where I Stood
The Child in Me I move forward Then I move back I move forward I move back As the momentum of my actions increase I move with more speed.. more height I move forward I move back As I move forward I sing nursery rhymes of days gone by As I move back I giggle at my silliness As I move forward I remember all I have learned As I move back I live for the moment Then in the distance I hear voices And I see there is now a line for the swings I whole line of children Thinking this old woman must be crazy.
A Child's Fantasy I sit here entertained by kittens They run this way then that Such cute little fury beasts they are. One gold, and two the color of smoke With a flourish they bounce through the living room Into the kitchen Then to the bedroom Back to the living room As I watch the playful energy they hold I have to laugh in the face of innocence lost As when I was a child I wanted to be a kitten
...The Beauty of a Rose Worn and tattered the box lid still opened With a creak, one could see the remnants it held An aroma of a flower of some kind And fine dried petals of a rose that was devine She looked off in the distance All wrinkled and worn As now she was old and at times forlorn A whisper of a smile graced her face She sifted her fingers through the petals so fine. As her mind drifted She allowed herself to relive the moment in time. The Rose once held a life of it's own It's life force came from the love of two souls For a moment in time her world stood on ends Waiting for her man to come and marry her then. But the beauty of the rose given in love Was to be shortlived as it would turn She loved him with her life And the rose stood proud As time would have it, They drifted again He to his destiny And she to within The rose dried into these petals she now holds She gathered them up Sacred, they were Now in her hands, she remembers a time When the beauty of a rose, was just a moment in time.
Searching.... I look but I do not see I search but I do not find I have yet to find what it is I am looking for Is it the laughter in the eyes of another? Is it the smile of the one I love? Is it the feeling of having someone's arms around me? Is it making love when the sun comes up? I have found all of this I have searched even further And I still look... I still search... I gather my meager belonging close to my heart I place the memories of all that I have loved I place the memories of all that I have lost All in the bag with my dreams.. And onward.. I move...Searching.
Eyes of Love Many have said that eyes are the windows to your soul I seek the eyes of love May I look into yours? As a child I looked into the eyes of all those I loved Looking for the windows Knowing behind them I would find something called "souls" As a young adult I looked into the eyes of many whom I cared for And then a few I did not.. Still not finding the soul of Love. As a Young Lady I searched the eyes of many And thought I had found love Only to find I had found temporary fulfillment Then as an adult, a mother, a wife I found disillusion in the eyes of Love I found much heartache and sadness And onward I looked.. seeking the eyes of love With time I became content with true friends Knowing in their eyes I saw truth and honor Believing no longer in love I sought only truth to share my days and fill my nights Then as my life turned circles I found my eyes gazing into the windows of a soul Pure of heart, battle weary as I, and holding out his hand Searching as well for Love. I learned well over the years And in the eyes, The windows of the Soul of Love I offered Friendship and trust... Should I dare to believe again?
My Gifts As I walk through my everyday travels I search my soul for answers The questions seem tough these days But so are the answers. To be loved For who you are is a blessing Of untold depth To be seen as you are is as if to be seen in a million mirrors All with the same reflection For all to see.. and be understood. To open your very being to another With you heart held open Your love in your eyes Is like walking naked in the moonlight On a crisp cool night. With the love I feel in my heart I give myself openly The meager gifts given, are everything to me They are trust and honesty
My Dreams of Sunrise Coasting slowly at first I see the smooth glade of the vessel on the water I see the water look like glass And our journey cut through it I look about me.. In these predawn hours I hear the night noises And I hear the gator bark in the distance I journey on As we now have a mission To be as one in the rising sun When the Orange ball of daylight peeks over the ocean. With the gentle breeze to guide us We will travel down life's highway And along the way we will finally see our sunrise And may the sun never set on our devotion to one another.
My Little Man I look at the picture of you as an infant And I see smiling at me your brown eyes Your dimples And your pudgy cheeks. Then I venture to the next page And I see you walking Pointing out trains And wearing your birthday cake I then turn the next page And I see the proud smile Of my little man the fisherman with tired eyes.. and a smug smile or accomplishment Then I see you on your many field trips Holidays with smiles With you laughing at antics And hugging your sisters You are not a name on a wall You are not one of eighty to me You are my son And a part of me. I look at the empty pages at the back of the book Visualizing prom pictures Graduation pictures And many more I slowly close the book I place it on the shelf Looking out to the water for solace Hoping for all the good things life will bring my little man.
The Warmth of a Hug Pigtails and bows Smiling faces full of make-up Ringing telephone, just for you Giggles down the hallway Loud music playing your tunes Awkward attempts to be grown up Beauty of such simplicity A proud mom, you may say But I look at you and see a clever young lady I see the attempts you make to be grown I hear the loud music I cherish the giggles I groan when the phone rings The smiling face warms my heart But no smile, replaces the warmth of your hug
May I Ask? Many a bright person tells us to seek what we desire It is out there, they tell us Funny how when I seek.. I come up empty. Many a kind thought is brought forth by kind people It bothers me greatly that the kind appear to others as weak And the weak appear to be larger than life itself In a world full of people who will take food from the hungry You ask what is it I seek Maybe I should ask why you need to know? I seek kind arms that hold me I seek a true heart that loves no others I seek a profound wisdom of oneness.. of heart and soul I look about me.. and I see other seekers We cross paths and smile to one another We are easy to spot.. as we wear our heart on our sleeves. Many ask me.... But I say, If you have to ask.. then you just don't know.
Alone The wind whispers yor name I come to you as never before I stand here, alone in my mind But in a crowded room With laughing people Drinking their fill. So onward I seek the crowds of those who are in the room Looking for you, knowing you are there And yet I stand alone Deep in the essence of my search Looking to all the blank faces of varied pain Hiding behind what is now called a good time Then as if a light shines over your head Or a finger is pointed your way I walk on unable to control my emotions Not knowing what will come of something so big Yet so refreshingly new to my soul I walk forward into the arms of love And I am not longer alone.
Hide and Seek With a grin on my face I look high and low Searching for my prey Hoping to see a sign of to where it has gone I search further Calling out his name I hear giggles and know I am close I look in corners In the closets in the secret hideaways he thought I did not know Then there he is The red headed angel of mine With the red shining above the toy box And giggles filling the air with sunshine *My little Red headed angel turns Sixteen on Thursday...
Can you Wait? I ache to show you the me I know I am With each day I face constant challenge I show constant emotions I show you me in all my ways Rarely do I find the courage to show the me that I know I am I try so hard to be the me all see in me and rarely does anyone take the time to really look to really listen So on these rare occasions I slip out of my comfort zone and show you the full size of who I am and then just as quickly I slink back to one you know I guess the question is who is this person Where did she come from why is she here and when will she return The answers are easy You with your words show me you love me with your actions you make me comfortable with your smile you melt the walls around my heart In time, the person you see will relax will smile a pure smile of joy will look in your eyes with confidence beyond words and will be herself... Can you wait the distance?
....and I Dream I look deep in the depths of my soul and see what I find To repeat the mistakes of the past would simply be silly To reach forward and be bold without the wisdom of past mistakes would be futile Then I see a spot on my heart that is full of hope and wonder and I see not the follies of past mistakes I see not my fear of tomorrow I simply see the hope in my heart like a ray of sunshine on a dreary day So for the moment I basque in the sunshine never before seen I frolic in the meadows of flowers of my dreams I sing songs of long forgotten childhood tales I feel the hope spring eternal in my veins And I dream
The Dance Begins With a soft sigh on my lips I look in your eyes Mine locking with yours And I feel my heart beat faster. With each movement you make towards me I feel my body respond to you Knowing your touch And feeling your breath on my skin With a sigh on my lips I wait for you to cross the room With your face full of mischief And your eyes twinkling Then the dance begins...
I Soar On the wings of love My heart soars high above the mountains coasting over the treetops and viewing the changes of the leaves in fall The colors show themselves In vibrant golds With the snow caps on the mountains As higher I soar With the closing of autumn Comes the beauty of the winter With newfound love I soar above the white sheets in the valley And onward we fly as one In our own world of evolving seasons To chance the gods of winter And welcome the angels of spring
My Rainbow I watch in awe at the bright colors of my life I see each shade And believe it not In front of me I see The end of the rainbow Not knowing now what it really means But knowing all my life I shall never forget the moment the second I found my dream
Whispers of the Soul In a distance the sounds of the night can be heard But she sits and stares Hearing not the sounds But only the heartbeat of her soul With time she will regain her confidence Walk with her held high showing the glory of her efforts to those that care to know And holding her counsel to her soul With love on her mind and an empty heart she looks upon the night not knowing what she will find Does she grasp those things that peer at her Or does she allow herself to wait To think And to enjoy the joys of love
You A thought ...of you in my world.. just gives my spirit strength with each day A word ...spoken by you sends my heart a flutter A smile ...on your face, warms my heart beyond words A giggle ...heard by my ears..shows me your playful side few have ever seen A grin ...crosses my face, whenever I think of you A wink ...made in my direction, shows me you know what I am thinking at that perfect moment But most of all A slow dance On a quiet night With music we both love Takes me to levels never seen before. And we dance....
We Simply Live A moment in time can be best described as a moment of clear conscience In a moment I see the love of another for me In a moment I see my children grow older day by day In the small ways of my life I see my sense of purpose My fright at new things My sorrow at past deeds My love in my heart for the few true friends of my life With each traveled path I take my wisdom to the next path Kick my garbage to the curb And pray I prospered enough to survive In this world of heartache and triumphs We simply live..each moment
To touch your smile Your face lights up With the love in your eyes seeing the smile reaches there as well The gift of a touch the glorious love that one gives another the beautiful way you move across the room And with such grace you come to me touch my hand. At that moment... we are one.
They Have Personality they are just ten toes bare they are and they love to touch the sand dip into the ocean dig into deep carpet wiggle in new shoes feel the warmth of bedroom slippers feel cold in the winter and place themselves next to another little icebergs they are drive barefoot and let others see when they are painted amazing colors they are they are just ten toes never forget the personality of the 'piggies' *grins.. I had to get silly...just comes natural at times.. {Editor's Postscript: Poems from Kalle's muse were collected from her very first on the site, up to the end of October, 2000 - and she no doubt has many more gracing our pages since then!} I think the work here shows a wonderful progression from her first tentative postings as she tested the waters, to....well, what better note to end on than a poem with such personality! Kalle, you are one of a kind, my dear, unforgettable friend! Always, Chris -=Vel=-