*** SEX INVENTORY ***
from theblue

Dear Bravehearts -
This is a Sex Inventory Check-List
that is helpful in doing 4th step work.

READ part in Book
..."Now, about Sex..." first...
use a RED PENCIL TO MAKE CHECKMARKS
on this list...easier to read...
Do NOt use a light pencil!!!

Sometimes it's just too much
for some of us to say this stuff OUTLOUD
for the first time...
or to write Sex 'things' down.
My experience in working with people
is that this list BREAKS THE SILENCES,
empties some garbage that needs to
get out of us...
and even gives us a few laughs.
Okay, here goes...

Oh....it has been suggested that if you start
having trouble breathing while doing this,
STOP IMMEDIATELY - and pray - call somebody!
Beloved, you might not be ready to do this yet...
Or, you might need the help of a therapist...
or Spiritual Advisor.
Doing a thorough 4th is not for the fainthearted,
chickenshits...or unready.
Still, you only need faith the size of
a grain of mustard seed!

"SEXUAL ACTIVITY STUFF"
****Please remember: You Are Not Alone!
SM= Sexual Activity with Mother_______
SF= Sexual Activity with Father____________
SSF= Sexual Activity with Stepfather ______

Hey, am stopping here a minute to remind you
WHY WE DOING THIS!!!!
We do a sex inventory in order to fashion
a new sex life for ourselves, one that is saner,
one that doesn't hurt other people, one that is
spiritually satisfying as well as
emotionally and physically satisfying.

We need to examine our past sex life
in order to know what needs to be
eliminated...where were we
self-indulgent, immoral, selfish?

We need to look at the sexual things in our past
that continue to bother us, or that we don't feel
good about - maybe talk that over with somebody.

If we don't evaluate our past and come to terms
with what needs to be gotten rid of,
we will continue to do the
same things over and over, make the same
mistakes over and over.

So, writing out this inventory isn't enough, Beloved
unless you think seriously about what
you want to do now, in your future

This isn't just a confession...
and it's sure no joking matter.l
Confession is good for the soul, but we have to
earnestly want to be different (and better...).
Don't forget to pray too!

To Continue:
SS= Sexual Activity with Sister _________
SB=Sexual Activity with Brother _________
SU= Sexual Activity with Uncle __________
SA= Sexual Activity with Aunt _________________
SGF= Sexual Activity with Grandfather __________
SGM= Sexual Activity with Grandmother ____________
SCM=Sexual Acitivity with Male Cousin __________
SCF=Sexual Activity with Female Cousin ____________
SN= Sexual Activity with Neighbor ____________
SD=Sexual Activity with Dead Person (Corpse...)_____
SW=Sexual Activity with Another 'Watching'? yes___ no__
BF= Sex with a Friend's Sig Other ("Buddy Fucking")

yes_____ no______
S/unk = Sex with 'Unknown" person (stranger...)
_________
Sex with Stranger, at somewhere like a movie theater?___
Sexual Activity in a restaurant while out to eat? ___
Sexual Activity in a drive-in movie? yes____ no____
Sexual Activity in church? yes____ no_____
Sexual Activity in hospital? (as a patient, or
visitor, or employee...)

Sexual Activity with Mailman,Repairman of any kind
babysitter...or Cable TV installer? yes___ no___
Sex/mag = Magazine Sex...looking at sex pictures______
S/vib= Sex with Vibrators______
S/cyber= Computer Sex ________________
S/phone = Phone Sex ________________
Rec= Rectal (anal sex) _______________as receiver
Rec/agg= Rectal (Anal sex) ______________as the doer
Shit= Shit Obsession. Paying too much attention to
your poop....Yes_____ no_____ Maybe_____
CW= Crotch Watching (or, Rubbernecking...)) _________
Dance= Exotic Dancing in Past/present...
any stripping....?_______
*****We need to talk about any of the above
that have been troublesome to someone,
or embarrassing.
Write something about any
of above if you are able to.

"MASTURBATION STUFF"
M/self= Masturbation with self, playing with self
on any regular basis?
yes___ no___ not often____ think it's a sin____

M/FO= Masturbation with foreign object -yes___ no____
Examples: Vegetables, Fruits,bottles,
chair legs,hair brushes,crosses,can food,
ball point pens, pencils....
carrots,bananas,cucumbers...
shampoo bottles, ice cubes?????
Beloved, please be careful with hotdogs!!!!!
(even Frozen ones..)
Water masturbations?What else????
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________

MD= Masturbation sex activity with dog________
MC=Masturbation/or sex activity with Cat
or Cigar...with or without cellophane wrapper?))
Yes____ no________
Cigar!!!!______little joke here.....
MS= Masturbation/or sex activity with Sheep__________
MH= Masturbation/or sex activity with Horse______
MOA= Masturbation/or sex activity with Other
Animal___
Cow????______
MM= Masturbation/or sex activity with a man ?_______
MF= Masturbation/or sex activity with a woman?____
MK= Masturbation/or sex activity with a kid?_______
ML= Masturbation/or sex activity with raw liver?____
MC=Masturbation/or sex activity with dead chicken?
(or, alive...)) yes_______ no_______
MMeat= Masturbation/or sex activity with any other meat products?__________
___________________________________________
M/toy= Masturbation/or sex activity with Sex Toys -
such as blow-up dolls, stuffed animals...cushions...
yes _________ no__________

JERK= Jerking off in bathrooms?
yes _____ ; no____
SMELL= Smelling Underwear habit?
Yours or someone else's??? yes--; no--

"Gold Dusting" ...Have you ever pee'd on somebody
or had them pee on you? Yes___ no___
Enjoyed watching somebody pee? yes____ no____

HOMOSEXUAL//Bi-sexual STUFF
1. Any homosexual acts? Yes------; No _____
2. Any homosexual acts/with foreign objects used?
Yes ___, No ____
3. Any cross Dressing? Dressing up like Opposite Sex?
Yes ____, No____
4. Any sexual activity with any kids?
(same sex as you are) Yes___;No____
5. Any daydreaming/nightdreaming/obsessions
with any of above? Yes___;No____

OTHER SEX STUFF THAT MIGHT BE BOTHERSOME/SHAMEFUL
PIM=Any Prostitution with Pimp ________
PRO= Any Prostitution for Money, etc _______
CALL= Any Call Girl activity, past or present_______
SW= Any Street Walking,
trying to pick up or get picked up?________
PARK= Any Park Cruising? _______
SWAP= Any swappping sex for drugs? _______

GROUP= Any Group sex...3 or more people involved _____
BLOW//D= Given any blow jobs for drugs/booze? ______
BLOW//$$ - Given any blow jobs for money??? ________
Blow/misc- Given any blow jobs for anything
other than above? yes_____ no_____

S & M = Bondage activity???? ______
WHIP = Given or received any 'whippings' ???______
SWING = Any swinging stuff? Swapping of
sex partners???? ______
WP= Any Window Peeping??? _____
EX= Any Exhibitionism/Flashing? _______
VOY = Any Voyeurism? ________
GANG = Any Gang/Bang participation? (willing
or 'unwilling') yes _____ no_____
FRIEND = Any Sexual Activity with Friend's
wife/or/hubby? _______
MARRIED = Any sexual Actitivy with married people?

((that you were not married to...)

R/yes= Have you ever been raped? yes____no_______
How old were you? How many times?_____
Were you sexually molested as a child?
yes__ no__
R/agg= Have you raped anyone?????
Yes ____; No _____

MOL = Have you ever sexually molested a child ????
Yes___ ; No _____
((This may be hard to deal with
- but it IS NECESSARY !!!))

OTHER SEX THINGS -
1.Abortion-Yes____; No ____ ((How many? _____))
(males answer above if you've been party to...)
2. Are you supporting your children FINANCIALLY???
cOULD you be described
as a Dead-Beat Dad???? yes____ no, not really____

3. Do you have any children you do not publically 'own' ???
yes----; no-----
4. Have you given up a child for adoption?
yes____ no_____
5. Do you have a LACK OF ORGASMS
(for any reason))? yes____ no____

6. Guys: any impotence problems ??
Premature ejaculations? yes____ no _____
7. Do you ever pretend to enjoy sex when you are not
really enjoying it? yes _____ no ______
8. Are you a pussy teaser? yes ____ No ____
cock teaser? yes ____ NO ____
Have you ever been called either of the above? Yes ___ No____
9. Any Sexual Diseases at present? YEs ____ No____
a)
b)
c)

10/ Any Sexual 'Diseases' in past? Yes ___ NO____
a)
b)
c)
PLEASE INCLUDE AIDS, HIV/POSITIVE ...any STDS !!!!!!
Herpes?
_____________________________________________________
11. Have you been tested or HIV? yes----; no-----
12. Do you have Herpes? yes ____ no_____
13. Do you wonder if you have Herpes? yes -----; no_____
14. Do you wonder if you have some other
sex 'disease' ???? yes____ no____
15. What about that WARTS thing?????? yes___ no____
16. If you are HIV-positive, do you tell
your sex partners????? yes____no____
17. Do you practice SAFE SEX - use condoms???????
yes____; no_____
(((write on back of paper if you need to
...or use extra paper)))

18. Are you a FLIRT or womanizer????
yes____ no____ don't know_____
19.Are you monogomous? yes____ no____
20. Do you flirt with other people's significant others?
yes---- no _____
21. Do you aggravate others with dirty jokes?
yes ___ no____
22. Do you over-do foul language or vulgar words???
yes____ no___ don't know____
23. Are you an eye-batter? ___________
24. Tongue-tricker?____lip biter?____
these type come-hithers? yes___ no____
25. Winker? _________________
...Please don't tell me you 'don't know'
on #23,24, or 25. Ha!!!...

Breathe...Breathe...Breathe.
Remember, no one's waiting to punish you...
What's done is done, over with - the past is
THE PAST!!!! This inventory is part of the
WRECKAGE OF OUR PASTS.

OTHER:
1. Are you celibate by choice? yes____ no___
2. Do you have any resentments about being
sexually inactive??? yes___ no____
...This can cause
jealousy,envy...sadness...loneliness...isolating
...fear. This can take us back out there!

3. Do you have 'Fear of Fat' ????? yes___ no____
4. Are you a thrower-upper????? yes____ no____
5. Do you do any sticking finger down throat
to throw up? yes___ no____
6. Do you have bulima (shit -can't spell it!)
yes___ no____
7. How often do you use a laxative? Purge?
yes____ ; Not often____
8. Do you worry aboaut being too fat? yes---- ;no____
9. Do you deliberately not eat very much or not eat?
yes----; no----

PILLS AND/OR MEDS:
10. Do you use any pills? yes____ no____
11. List Pills you take and How often you take them--
incl. off-counter stuff:
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
12. Do you think you've ever had any surgery
you might not have needed in order to
get pills of some kind? Or,
some kind of drug or pain killer????? yes___, no____
13. Do you think you are sexy? yes____ no_____
(Hopefully, a little bit? ____)
14. Do you think you are physically attractive? yes _____ no____
15. Do you think you are pretty/handsome? yes____, no--
16. Do you wish you looked different? yes_____' no_____
If yes, how?
________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_ 18. How did you learn about sex in your childhood?
From your mom?____ or your Dad?____
Or, friends?____ Or, at school?____
Write something about that.....

19. What was your first sex adventure/or/ misadventure?????
Write something about that?....
20. Do you like having sexual intercourse?
yes____ no____
21. Do you prefer oral sex to intercourse?
Does this cause you any problems
with your sex partner? Write something about this....
22. You might want to write something about
your sex dreams...do you have them?
Is violence in them?
yes____ no____
Do you consider any dreams you have
problematic or troublesome?????? yes----- no_____
23. What is your favorite fantasy about?
movie star stuff______ Being raped_____
Being raped by someone you know_____
Someone you don't know_____
Sex with animals____
Sex while you are tied up____
Something to do with bondage______
Sex with more than one person_____
Sex with same sex______
Sex with Alien_____
Something not on this list?____________
What?____________ _____________________________________

24. How much time per day do you spend in
sex fantasizing? Hours=____ (Guess if you need to....))
25. Guys, have you ever solicited sex on the street?
Or been busted for that? yes___no___

26. Do you think sex is 'dirty'???? yes___ no____
27. Do you feel shy to have sex?? yes___ no____
28. Have you ever had sex with someone who is a
different race than you? yes____ no ______
29. Any fantasies (sp?)about sex with persons of
another race? yes____ no_____
30. Are you shy to admit to masturbating? yes___ no___
31. Are you able to talk to your sex partner freely
about sex? yes____ no_____

***Some of us can really benefit from spiritual
counseling or therapy.
I loved the therapy I got,
even when it was very painful. It helped me so much.
Some of us need to work on some of
the issues touched on here in therapy
- yes, it is helpful!!!!

We need to get this shit out of our bodies
- it's amazing how any one of the above
can really mess with us and cripple our
happiness and joy in life,
give us TERRIBLE GUILT....or LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
KEEPING SEX SECRETS CAN TAKE US
BACK OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF WE DON'T GO BACK OUT....
Sex Secrets CAN MAKE US MISERABLE AS HELL....

Nothing here means you are a bad person
--that's not what this is about.
This List is to help you evaluate your
Sex Life, and get a saner one.

Take a break...have a cup of coffee or cola
before continuing....

Hi Sweetie Pies-
Of course I wrote the Sex List?
(((Years ago Margo and I talked
about doing one...
I finally decided to do it a couple years ago
when I got a computer
and 'learned' to type!!!!))

CONTINUATION - NOW ABOUT SEX:
Please send me any other things to go on it -
I did this last night in an hour or so,
so know I left off a lot -

1. Any affairs while you were married? yes--- no---
2. How many _________((Guess if you need to....))
3. Promiscuity: Were you ever promiscious?
yes ____ no_____((Fooling around sexually
with this person or that...
trying to get laid as often as you could/can))
4. Any affairs while you've been in a singular
(or committed relationship)? yes____ no___
5. How many?________((Guess number if you need to...))
6. Do you have any difficulty being faithful
or monogamous? yes____ no_____
7. How many people do you think you've had oral sex with?
Write a number________

8. Would you like to have more sex than
you are presently having? yes___ no_____
9. Do you pray about your sex life? yes____ no____
10. How many people do you think you have had sex with
in your life to date??
((NOT ORAL sex, please!))((This means INTERCOURSE...))
...please don't complicate this...
1-4______ 26 to 44_____ over 200_____
5-10_____ 45-65______ over 300_____
11-15____ 66-100_____ over 400_____
16-25____ over 100____ If over 400,
you might need to write a book!!

***Have you lied on any questions here?
yes___ no___ maybe_____
Have you lied on more than 5 questions here? yes___
Have you 'Enhanced' or embellished the truth here?
yes___ no____ perhaps_____ Maybe____ Who, moi???____
((Please TRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...to tell the truth.
One Lie about Sex Shit can make us go back out...
At best, can make us have bad dreams....))
Take a chance - tell the truth.
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE !!!!!!!

However, I must say that I lied more than once
when I took my first sexual inventory!!!!
But try to tell as much truth as you can...

Another idea...Print this whole thing out,
answer all questions...and mail
it to someone in program - don't sign your name.
Hugs, blue

Someone wrote me this morning (at 4am))
that they had NEVER smelled anyone's
underwear or wanted to,
and asked my advice.
I highly recommend this if you are
having any difficulty with getting aroused...
in fact, just had an idea...
We could start collecting worn underpanties
and sell them online!!!!
Guys, what do you think???
Is this already being done????
Hey, I'm kidding, I'm kidding -

Yes, you may print this out, and use it in
Inventory Work. It is NOT for sale...