A MEMORIAL TO MY SON, GARY
No parent should ever have to lose a child. My son, Gary, died on April 28, 2005 in Greenville, SC about a month before his 27th birthday from having a grand mal seizure that threw him into cardiac arrest. He had never had a seizure or any heart problems before that. He had stopped breathing for too long before EMS arrived to resussitate him on April 12, 2005. He never regained consciousness during those sixteen days he spent in the hospital. The grief that I feel is still unbearable, even now 4-1/2 years later. No one will ever miss him more than I will. I will always love my son with all my heart and soul. He was my pride and joy and main reason for living for almost 27 years. I miss him so very much every day. The pain just never seems to get any easier to bear. It is the worst emotional pain I have ever had to deal with in my life. I have read that the grieving process for losing a child takes up to five full years. I do not know how people manage it though. Gary will always be in my heart and soul, my only child. My life will never be the same again without him in it. I look forward to going to Heaven to be reunited with him, and my Mother, Cobie, who died at age 94 on April 3, 2009.
In the course of five years time, I lost everything and everyone in my life: In April 2004, my son's nice car mysteriously burned to the ground while he was camping, in September 2004 my Mother had to have cancer surgery so I drove to GA to take care of her, my son died suddenly seven months later, no one would come stay with Mother for me to go back to SC when my son was unconscious in the hospital or to go to his funeral, I was told my house in SC was completely ransacked, in December 2007 my home of 20 years was foreclosed upon and sold without my even knowing it, my little car was attacked several times here in the parking lot, and my Mother died this past April. To make all of this trauma even worse, I suffer from major reactive depression and caregiver burnout, plus this unbearable grief. All this happening is enough to destroy even the strongest of people.
Yet no one seems to understand what I am going through. I have no emotional support group to help me get through this, and no family support either. I am all alone in life now. It's like when people go through a divorce and suddenly no one wants anything to do with you because they are afraid it will rub off on them. Except losing a child is far worse, and no one wants to lose a child, so they stay as far away from you as they can. No one is ever there to help you when you need help so badly.
Gary
In Memory of
Gary and Joy